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Thread: Setting the cause of feminism back 50 years?

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    God/dess tempest666's Avatar
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    Default Setting the cause of feminism back 50 years?

    As most of you know I was never the Suzie Homemaker type. Nowadays if I cook I always make sure he eats first... is that weird? I can picture Gloria Steinem and Gloria Allred tsk-tsking.


    Trust me this is all new to me. I've never made a guy's lunch, washed his clothes or done anything remotely domestic oriented even when I was with my ex husband.
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    God/dess Mr Hyde's Avatar
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    Default Re: Setting the cause of feminism back 50 years?

    Why is doing things nice for someone bad? I open doors for women, and I pick up things when I see a woman drop them. Is that anti-women?

    If he mows the yard and you wash the dishes, is that so horrible? Only if one of you EXPECTS IT. Just doing it because you like to do it for the other person? That's good, not anti-women.

    PS Gloria Allred is to feminism as Al Sharpton is to black pride. She's a self-aggrandizing jackass.

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    Featured Member tampadancer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Setting the cause of feminism back 50 years?

    Quote Originally Posted by Mr Hyde View Post
    Why is doing things nice for someone bad? I open doors for women, and I pick up things when I see a woman drop them. Is that anti-women?

    If he mows the yard and you wash the dishes, is that so horrible? Only if one of you EXPECTS IT. Just doing it because you like to do it for the other person? That's good, not anti-women.

    PS Gloria Allred is to feminism as Al Sharpton is to black pride. She's a self-aggrandizing jackass.
    Agreed. Doing nice things for someone else shows that you care for them (and hopefully it's reciprocated). I don't think it has a thing to do with feminism. If a man cooked for me and served me before himself, I wouldn't think he was being "anti-men" - just thoughtful and sweet.

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    Default Re: Setting the cause of feminism back 50 years?

    As long as you enjoy it, then it's not anti feminism. If you are doing it because it's expected then yes that is anti feminist.

    Too many people make the mistake of what feminism is. It was never intended the way it is now with man bashing and the idea that women who like anything feminine must be anti feminist. I say this as a feminist myself. I hate most feminist actually because they have caused a lot of problems. Yes I am happy as a woman I can work and have a career. However, many others have created these rigid rules that we as women are expected to follow, whether we want to or not, just like men did by pushing women into traditional roles.

    I personally wouldn't make a boyfriend a meal but that's because I hate cooking. Any man that would expect me to do that would not be a long term boyfriend. Most of my ex's loved to cook as it turned out. One of my ex's loved to cook and vacuum and he did those as I washed clothes and dishes because I didn't mind those.

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    Default Re: Setting the cause of feminism back 50 years?

    i don't think that has anything to do with feminism.

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    God/dess lestat1's Avatar
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    Default Re: Setting the cause of feminism back 50 years?

    Reminds me of my ex. She never liked to cook or do "1950s housewife" stuff. She also said after dating me a while she became very angry with all of her exes, because she realized how poorly they treated her in comparison to me. She started cooking for me and enjoyed it. She dusted my home theater, and even cleaned my bathroom! I didn't ask her to clean, she said she just really wanted to take care of me. So I guess I'd ask - is your guy treating you really well and awakening some maternal instincts?
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    Default Re: Setting the cause of feminism back 50 years?

    When I make dinner, I make my bf's plate up first and usually give him the bigger piece if there is one. I don't think it makes me any less in control, I just think it shows some respect. Relationships require a mutual respect, and there's nothing wrong with that.
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    Veteran Member Arianna419's Avatar
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    Default Re: Setting the cause of feminism back 50 years?

    Doing nice things for someone is great. Whether or not those things have a traditionally gendered stereotype doesn't matter-- until it becomes an expectation on his part, or he doesn't appreciate it, or he doesn't reciprocate the nice gestures in some way.

    I don't mind cooking for my SO, but when he criticizes the food, or doesn't say thank you, or just leaves his dishes on the table because he EXPECTS me to clean them up, then I get a little pissy about it.

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