
Originally Posted by
jack0177057
Are you looking for advice or for a magic pill that will make the jealousy and stigma go away?
I want to go along with the "its just a job" argument - but, if it does becomes a long-term career for her, the OP has to give due consideration for the implications of her career.
A wife's career is a big part of her life, and therefore, also big part of her husband's life and vice-versa.
For example - if you married a policewoman, you have to consider the pressure, danger, violence and stress that are inherent with her job and how this may spill over to your marriage. You have to be very sensitive to this and be very emotionally supportive in times of tragedy and/or crisis. This will require more "work" than if she was just a teacher. (Of course in some school districts, being a teacher is more life-threatening than being a policewoman.)
If you married a military woman - you have similar issues, plus, she may have to leave home for extended periods of time for military duty, she may be involved in combat, come back with post traumatic stress disorder, etc.
If you married a lawyer or business executive, she will often work late hours (usually with male colleagues), not have time to be a traditional mommy, and may travel often (usually with male colleagues).
If you marry a career dancer - the issues you will face for the rest of your marriage will be jealousy and stigma. If you guys are short on money and she comes home with twice or three-times what she normally makes in one night - you will inevitable ask: "What did you have to do tonight to make the extra money." If a rich guy praise/worships her and buys her expensive gifts, you will wonder whether she will become enticed by his money/success/charm and leave you. When you guys are out on a date and guys stare at her, you will wonder - is that guy staring because he recognizes her from the SC? - Did she grind on him? People will judge her and you - and you may be ostracized from some circles.
To some guys, this is not an issue. Some guys might love that their wife is a sex goddess worshiped by other men "but only I get to take her home". Instead of being jealous, they feel envied -- rightfully so, they are lucky bastards.
But, no one here can change your personality, the way your emotions are wired, and the way you deal with jealousy and stigma. Either - you can handle it or you can't. If you can't, and if her choice is to dance on a long-term basis - your relationship is doomed - it is a recipe for disaster and no one here can save you from the train wreck.
Just tell her this - I love you, but I can't deal with you dancing long term. I'm not judging you or giving you an ultimatum. I'm just being honest with us. Then, hold your breath, and prepare yourself to lose her.
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