This is kinda long but I just need to rant...
My roommate and I have been living in the same house for almost 2 years now. Since we moved in, we've been sleeping together. I wanted to be more than friends with benefits but he did not because he "doesn't believe in" relationships or love or girlfriends or any of that. We continued just being friends who had sex but we got into fights often, stemming from jealousy. Overall though, we were still good friends - I just learned to remove myself from any situation in which he would be flirting with other girls.
A few weeks ago, I finally got a bf for the first time in several years, and now my roommate is ridiculously jealous! He acted completely hurt, like I was breaking up with him! According to him, even though we weren't in an "official relationship" the interactions we had together were a type of "relationship" that I should have respected. He acts like me dating someone else is like saying that he's not good enough and kicking him to the curb for someone who makes me happier.
I told him that it wasn't a competition in my head. That he told me a long time ago that we were nothing more than friends with benefits - so that's how I took it. And he couldn't expect me to stay single forever just so he could keep having sex with me and flirting with me at his convenience. I want to feel special and I found someone who does that - it's not a diss to him, but he set his own rules on not dating and being clear that he was going to go after whatever piece of ass he wanted at any time, even if it meant ignoring my existence so I didn't throw off his game - and he knew I didn't like those rules and should have known I would end our fuck-buddy relationship if I found someone who I actually wanted to date.
For the next couple weeks, he was super nice to me. Always wanted hugs. Wanted to cuddle up next to me on the couch. Took care of me when I got really sick. I tried to keep our friendship as normal and close as possible without crossing inappropriate boundaries because I wanted him to feel like I still care about him, because I do. But he kept asking me to ask my bf how he felt about open relationships. I kept ignoring it and he finally got mad at me today for "not explaining" why I wouldn't do it. He sat in silence for a few minutes before saying "I'm not trying to make you mad or anything but I can't stand being flirty with you and talking to you like we're normal and not getting any real answers out of you. So I'm not trying to ignore you, but I kinda am. But I'm not trying to hurt your feelings" and then just got up and left.
I am so mad. I understand the jealousy. I know he always cared about me more than he actually let on. But he's the one who didn't want me when he had the chance. He wanted to play by his own rules and be allowed to push me to the side whenever he had the chance to spend time with and sleep with some new girl - that's fine, that's how he wants to live, but he can't expect me to stick around in that arrangement forever and then cut me off from the friendship when I don't want to play his game anymore... I really thought we could segue into being good friends with him being really nice lately and trying to rework his behavior so that we were close but not physical.... and now he wants to just ignore me... I should just be angry and not give a shit. But I have to live with him for 2 more months and losing someone who I used to be so close with and talked to all the time... it's going to be hard to walk around the house and have him ignore me...![]()




Reply With Quote


I've reached the point where I'm sad that he has to be such a child about this and I'm losing a friend, but I really don't care anymore. I've watched him exhibit this BS behavior before when I wouldn't cooperate and do exactly what he wanted me to do, and I used to become greatly upset - now I just call him a baby and can keep moving. I have more than enough good friends and support to not cry over the fact that he wants to try act out and guilt-trip me. I've never been a good responder to guilt trips lol I just get angry at the person trying to guilt me. I've done nothing wrong here so why should I lose sleep over it? He should be the one losing sleep over his stupid decisions.

Bookmarks