I actually told you to talk to your mom... & you should have done that right away so your aunt couldn't beat you to the punch.
As it is, I think you need to sit down & really talk to her about this. Maybe even take her into see some of the clubs or try to have lunch with another entertainer in your area that your mom can ask questions to.
The way I see it your mom is being naive. Think about this, you are a young beautiful woman... & we all know how most men are. It doesn't matter if you are in a naked, in a bikini, a work suit, or cloaked from head to foot... men are going to imagine you naked & they are going to imagine having sex with you. That's just the way the world works & the only way she'll ever be able to stop that is to keep you locked up where no one would ever see you or know about you.
As for dancing being degrading, I'd say its far from that. While some cultures do not allow dancing to be seen by anyone not of the same gender or the persons spouse, most do. Chances are that you've already gone dancing to night clubs & other places where men & women socialize through dancing... & they have probably imagined you naked while dancing with you.
Also think about this: how many people do you think have seen your mother naked? Has she ever been to a gym with a shared locker room? Had a physical by a male doctor? Had surgery where men were around? Had multiple sexual partners? Chances are many people have seen her for FREE or even made money off of seeing her naked... & I highly doubt all of them had 100% pure thoughts. It's not just men either... if she's changing in a dressing room full of women & one of them was lesbian or bi-sexual there is a chance they had un-pure thoughts of her as well.
If you are living with her I do think you need to respect her decisions.
If you really want to do this either work it out with her or move out. If you move out & still want to help her, pay the bills before she has a chance to. Send the money directly to the electric company, drop a partial payment off for the rent, or whatever. She'll eventually catch on that one of the reasons you wanted to do this was to help her out.
Chances are though that two things are really subconsciously driving her to not want you to do this:
1. Wanting to protect you
2. Selfishness of not wanting to be embarrassed by society judgements
Both of these are perfectly reasonable & valid concerns. She needs to know that you are doing everything you can to stay reasonably safe, but again where safety is concerned you will never be 100% safe. Even if you stayed in the same building your whole life there's a chance it could catch fire. However that doesn't mean we shoudln't try to keep our safety in mind.
There's a bunch of threads on here about safety, but here are some things to start with:
- Work in safer areas
- Avoid clubs where the entertainers tend to get catty
- Don't be alone when you don't need to be
- Make sure one of the club staff members walks you to your car
- Always have more than enough gas to get to/from work plus some in-case you are followed & need to detour without stopping
- Always make sure your cell phone is charged & keep a charger in your car
- Take self defense classes "just in case"
- Have something that you can protect yourself with (& are trained to use) from a distance, that way it can't easily be grabbed & used against you. i.e. many states allow hidden handgun permits. Tasers/mace can be useful but if you read online the small units sold to the public generally aren't much help.
As far as her probably being selfish, not many people like the idea that their friends or professional associates would find out their daughter is a dancer. This brings up concerns about how their peers will judge them. Is the mother not capable of providing? Did she not have enough money for school? Was the up-bringing just not good? People are still very judgmental & you are not the only one who may face judgement. I know for a fact that multiple of my mother's friends/co-workers have seen me dance. Of course, I was doing if for years before, & when this happened she & I weren't talking. If any of these people had asked me about it I would have simply said that I danced because I love it & I'm successful at it. My choices have nothing to do directly with her. I always wanted to do ballet but I had health problems, that's not either of our faults. Could she have prevented me from doing this? Yes... but it wouldn't have been easy. Would I have been happy? No, or at least not as much. I can honestly say I don't think any other job I could have would make me even the slightest bit happy as this one. Not only do I still get to dance, but again I'm actually GOOD at it. However, people won't ask your mom why you are dancing... they will only judge. One way to get over this though is to avoid dancing in areas where she's more likely to know someone. Take trips to other cities/states that are further away, & go with other entertainers who you trust to cut down on expenses.
Hopefully that helps. Also, it's probably better that your aunt told her before you started dancing, if you didn't plan to tell her yourself. As I said, once you start dancing & she loses trust in you, that will be the point at which the trust is hardest to re-build.
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