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Thread: Drinking and Guilt

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    Last edited by Luxx78; 11-27-2011 at 12:22 AM.

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    Default Re: Drinking and Guilt

    I wasn't old enough to drink when I started. I think everyone is always nervous the first time they go on-stage. How long you stay nervous for probably has more to do with your motivations for doing this though, & if you actually enjoy it.

    So:

    - What are your motivations for dancing?

    - Do you enjoy it?
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    Default Re: Drinking and Guilt

    Quote Originally Posted by Luxx78 View Post
    I think I get more nervous knowing that the other girls are watching me. I have turned around and seen girls laughing at me and that makes me feel discouraged.
    Hey Luxx. I feel your pain. I'm pretty new too. It took me a really long time to get up the guts to even audition cuz my biggest fear was that I would get laughed at! Well, when I finally did audition I was terrified. It was pretty slow in the club so all of the other dancers (including the feature), the manager, and all the bouncers that work inside the club were just standing there watching. Also, I used to drink too much so I quit drinking completely, so having a drink to loosen up before auditioning was not even an option!

    There's nothing I can really say to make it any easier for you except that you're not the only one who feels this way. Even those girls standing there watching and possibly laughing were new at one point. We all stumble a little until we find our groove. Over time it's going to get easier and easier so all we can really do is give it our best!

    On maybe my third day working I was all upset and ready to walk out early. One of the nicer girls at my club told me something that's helped me a lot: "This is a 100% commission job so the other girls see you as competition and ANYTHING they can do to get you out of the club is to their advantage so of course they are going to try to get you down. Don't ever let another girl at the club get in your head and prevent YOU from making YOUR money!"

    Just keep focused on why you are there. Nothing else matters!

    As for the guilt thing, I've experienced that a bit too...however its gotten better over time. I think that I was feeling guilty cuz I was too worried about what other people thought about my job. (I even started a whole thread on here about being "tired of defending my choice to dance". )The truth is, I don't have any moral issues with dancing so why should it matter if other people do? Maybe give it a bit of time and see how you're feeling. I wouldn't give up on dancing altogether until you've given it a good shot. Being on Stripper Web has helped me a lot cuz I'm surrounded by people who understand...and I guess that's the message I'm trying to send you here...you're not alone in having these feelings...I get it.

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    Default Re: Drinking and Guilt

    It is definitely normal to be nervous when you start, I remember my first audition my legs were shaking SOOO bad and it took me a while to get over it, a few months in and I was fine, and years later I am so comfortable being naked I hardly notice it!

    I would advise though, drinking is fun and can make you more social, If I'm having trouble getting my hustle on a shot or two loosens me up, but DO NOT depend on it or make a habit of drinking every night before you start. If you can get over the nerves on your own you won't be DEPENDENT on the alcohol to work.

    Use that anxiety and nervous energy to FUEL you, not bring you down, think high school theatre, its not hard to imagine everyone in their underwear LMAO! keep working, focus on the positive and feel sexy, stay away from drinking for a few weeks and see if you can get past it on your own.

    If you can't do this job without drinking or taking drugs, you should NOT be a stripper, it means this job isnt emotionally healthy for you and its not worth developing an addiction problem.

    Good Luck!

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    Default Re: Drinking and Guilt

    Quote Originally Posted by Luxx78 View Post
    I think I get more nervous knowing that the other girls are watching me. I have turned around and seen girls laughing at me and that makes me feel discouraged. I guess my motivations would be that I just find it appealing. I don't feel like I really fit in at a normal 9-5, the moneys good, it makes me feel sexy and confident.

    Honestly, they may be laughing at you. If you see that they are, ask the manager to talk to them about this. They should be ashamed of themselves... we are all new at some point. Most of us would never want to have to watch a video of ourselves dancing as a "baby stripper"... it takes time to get good. You don't just show up on stage oozing perfection & sexiness out of no-where, it's a learned art. If nothing else, just think that they are idiots & vow never to do that to new girls once you become a veteran.

    BTW, I've said the same thing as the above poster for years. I don't think people who need drugs/alcohol to get through their job really should be doing that job... regardless of industry.
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    Default Re: Drinking and Guilt

    I felt the same way you described after a night of work when I first started. It did go away eventually. I still sometimes feel nervous though. Usually only when I first pull in the parking lot, I don't know why, but it goes away as soon as I walk inside.
    I hardly ever feel any nervousness about getting on stage, though, that will probably go away with time.

    However, before I started the thing I was MOST nervous about was being on stage. I just practiced my ass off at home (I still do, actually) and it helped me feel more confident. Once I realized how little dance skills actually matter I also realize people were judging me a lot less harshly than I was judging myself.

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    Default Re: Drinking and Guilt

    It doesn't really matter if they are laughing at your onstage. There are places in SF you can go for free or cheap to practive your pole dancing outside the club ( hell, you might even be able to get customers this way haha ).
    Here is the link - http://slinkyproductions.com/Info/Re...html#clubpoles

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    Default Re: Drinking and Guilt

    Quote Originally Posted by Luxx78 View Post
    I just started dancing at a new club in SF. I can't find the courage to go on stage without taking a few shots. I know it sounds ridiculous but the time I did dance with alcohol I did horrible and felt so stupid. Right after I get off work i have been feeling really good but then the next day I start thinking really hard about what I'm doing. I switch back and forth about loving it and hating it. I don't know if this is a normal feeling for a newbie or maybe I'm just not cut out for it. I want some input on how dancers felt when they first started. Thanks.
    xox
    Hey Luxx. Being a beginner dancer is hard, especially in SF, and a lot of girls go through exactly what you're going through right now.

    When I started I was 18, so I couldn't drink. It helped that I also started in a bikini bar, which made me feel less exposed. I am assuming you're in a topless club, so are only topless on the stage. Can you tell me what exactly is making you nervous?

    If you can't cut the booze altogether, I suggest cutting down. If you're drinking three shots, cut yourself back to one. Do you have any work buddies yet, or a girl you just feel comfortable with? When I danced in ATL, my hustle buddy and I would have one shot and do a toast: "To breaking hearts and breaking wallets!". It helped make us feel pumped up, solidified the feeling of camaraderie, and since we livened our moods that way, we didn't feel the need to get drunk. Even if they aren't friends of yours outside the club, it helps to have a few girls ITC you are comfortable with and can find support from.

    Some veteran girls will be rough on you. This is just a fact in the strip club hierarchy. It sounds elementary, but unless they are really harassing you, the best thing to do is ignore them. If they are really giving you a tough time, do not hesitate to go up the chain of command and tell one of your managers.

    Good luck! It's a tough transition, but if you are focused on your goals and keep your chin up, things WILL get easier.

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    Default Re: Drinking and Guilt

    When I first started I was 18, so I wasn't allowed to drink. I still had an occasional Smirnoff the manager would slip me to ease my nerves. After about a year I started bringing a water bottle with Tequila and I would do a shot here and there if the night was particularly bad.

    Just be careful, you don't want to get into the habit of drinking at work. Soon you'll HAVE to drink to work and thats just not good for you. Plus if you're like me and don't know when to stop, you'll end up drunk every night and no one likes a drunk stripper. I finally had to cut out the drinking because I have no control with it.

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    Default Re: Drinking and Guilt

    Dancing, for me, is no different than operating a server; if I will not drink when I'm operating a server, why would I drink when shaking my ass?

    Plus, the last time I drank while dancing I fell of the pole 'cause I passed out (and I only had a shot of whiskey). Since then, I dance totally sober.





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    Default Re: Drinking and Guilt

    I hate drinking at work now. I can do it out of boredom, but if I actually want to make money then I avoid it. I used to love making commission on drinks (alcoholic or not) as it's so easy to get a guy to buy alcohol, but now I feel it's hard to refuse. I'm supposed to persuade a guy to buy cristal then tell him I'm not drinking? Pffff! And there's only so long you can get away with pretending to sip or pouring it behind the sofa...

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    Default Re: Drinking and Guilt

    Quote Originally Posted by Rileygrl06 View Post
    When I first started I was 18, so I wasn't allowed to drink. I still had an occasional Smirnoff the manager would slip me to ease my nerves. After about a year I started bringing a water bottle with Tequila and I would do a shot here and there if the night was particularly bad.

    Just be careful, you don't want to get into the habit of drinking at work. Soon you'll HAVE to drink to work and thats just not good for you. Plus if you're like me and don't know when to stop, you'll end up drunk every night and no one likes a drunk stripper. I finally had to cut out the drinking because I have no control with it.
    yeah that's my problem i used (used = meaning earlier this year ha im 19) to bring like a whole fifth of vodka to work and would end up getting way too drunk because i didn't know when to stop. i wouldnt let it hit me and it would be my turn on stage so id chug it and it all went down from there..

    now what i do (if i want to drink) is i bring a water bottle of a small amount so im forced to make that last the whole night. it helps me if i'm ever nervous but i never get drunk. especially not as drunk as i have before at work.

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    Default Re: Drinking and Guilt

    Thanks so much for the input everyone! I have been moving all over the place and my next adventure is Medford OR. If anyone has any info about this city please let me know! This website is helping me out tremendously in so many ways. Thanks again!

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