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Thread: Feeling lost

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    Default Feeling lost

    Here is some background info on myself:
    I started dancing when I was 18, I'm now 27.

    I have pretty much seen it, done it, been there and back. The only place I had not travelled to was Vegas.

    I don't know if you're like me, but I have "stripper" friends and "real life" friends. Only two out of my nine years of dancing fit in those categories. I had a stripper friend in LV, told me' to come out there and stay with her, so I did.

    I should've known from the moment I got off the plane and she was still up from the nite before I should have gotten a hotel. She had done a bunch of coke and addy, invited a UFC fighter to the house who robbed her and she was still tearing the apartment apart to see if she misplaced it.

    WTF. Anyway, next day ran around got my papers and went to work alone. She had a guy fly in who was her fuck buddy.

    I hit the floor at 11, after getting there around 9 and I left with 1200.

    I was drugged at the club and blacked out for about 8 hours the next day. I do not remember 3 am-1pm the next day, no idea how I made it home with all of my money and all my things.

    Supposedly when I got back to the house I was saying all types of crazy shit and her fuck buddy friend ripped my clothes off and had sex with me.

    When I came to (which is a blur), I just remember going over to my stripper bag and making sure I had my money. Which I did.

    I was completely freaked out and felt like I was taken complete advantage of. I'm not a one night stand kind of girl... Would never have sex w that person even if I was shitfaced drunk.

    Even more alarming is the fact this girl would see me' so fucked up and let this happen. I booked my flight out ASAP.

    This experience has left me with a bunch of emotions I can't sort out. I'm starting to not trust my own judgment. I went and got tested when I got home.

    Does anyone have any thoughts or advice? I'm dreading work tomorrow and battling being upset everyday

  2. #2
    Moderator Aurora_Sunset's Avatar
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    Default Re: Feeling lost

    Girl, I am so sorry you had such a horrible experience. My heart goes out to you. Don't start feeling like you can't trust your own judgment. You say you knew something sketchy was up and you should've gotten a hotel the second you met this girl. It's not that your gut wasn't correct - you just didn't follow it. Next time, if something seems off in a situation, get yourself out of there, even if it's awkward. You now know from experience that's it's better to paranoid than sorry. As for getting drugged at the club, that has nothing to do with your judgment - you got a shit deal there. It's just unfortunate that even though you managed to make it home safe with all your belongings, home was a place with a rapist and fucked-up "friend." At lot of "party" people like this do not care how fucked up you look - they will let anything happen to you because either a) they do shit like that all the time so figure it's no big deal or b) they assume that it's your fault you're fucked up and you should be able to make better decisions. I had a guy friend like this, who did not "accept" the concept of blacking-out and did not see it as a valid reason to not do something with someone, because in his mind, they should have had more control and "how is he supposed to tell?" These people are selfish idiots and you have no control over that. Cease to be "friends" with this girl - she's nothing but trouble and clearly won't take care of you the way a friend should.

    If you are really torn up about this, you should go seek counseling from a rape crisis center. Just remember the motto: It's not your fault. You were taken advantage of - both at the club and at your friend's house. Next time, stay in a hotel if something seems off, but don't beat yourself up - hindsight is always 20/20. It's not your fault you didn't get out of there before something bad happened.

    I wish you all the luck in the world in feeling better and being able to move on from this event.

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    God/dess Kylea2's Avatar
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    Default Re: Feeling lost

    Wow... I hope you don't plan to stay friends with this girl!

    I situations like this happen it can be really hard to go back to work, & small things that remind you of the situation could set you off emotionally. My advice would be to either get a normal job for a bit, or only work in smaller better controlled enviroments. Either way though, you are going to have some MAJOR emotional issues to work through, so you ought to start seeing a counselor now before you dwell on ot much longer & let it get to you any more.
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    Default Re: Feeling lost

    I blocked the girl from calling me, she's off my facebook everything.

    She d I s g u s t s me.

    Thank you two for responding. Fortunately, I do not remember any of it. I am more disturbed by the fact people are so careless and so predatory.

    Unfortunately I do have to work this job. I'm going to watch my water at work like a hawk.

    I'm glad I do have amazing friends. My one gf just let me' sleep in her bed and fed me' for two days while I sat in disbelief.

    Thank you again for listening and responding

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    Default Re: Feeling lost

    Everyone who has posted here previously gave some great advice. I just wanted to add that in time u will strengthen from this crap. I have a really hard time trusting and liking people bc of this kind of shit. The world is full of people looking to take advantage of u and f u over..The skill is keeping ur eyes open and in some cases being openly paranoid of people. After uve been burned a few times u grown back thicker skin.

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