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Thread: please help me overcome this

  1. #1
    Member JaneysGun's Avatar
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    Default please help me overcome this

    I've gotta admit, I've come a LONG way from the shy, quiet, prudish little girl I was when I started dancing 7 months ago. A LOT of it is thanks to THIS FORUM!

    But I still have a LONG way to go.

    One thing I've learned is, if a guy wants to occupy my time without getting a dance or a private suite, it's OK for me to expect him to PAY FOR THAT TIME. I've been told over and over again that my time is money and I deserve to be paid for it. I believe this. I have no trouble accepting this as FACT.

    BUT, I don't know how to COME OUT AND ASK FOR THE MONEY. I just don't know how to comfortably and confidently ask a man to PAY FOR MY TIME.

    I'll be sitting with a guy... about 1 song has gone by... we're wrapped up in a great conversation and he likes me and wants me to stay... but he's already turned me down for a dance... or he just wants to have a drink with me... How do I ask him to pay for my time without coming across as a royal fucking bitch??? I just don't know how to do it!!!

    This inability to demand what is rightfully mine is seriously crippling me at work. I end up throwing my whole night away with one time-waster after another.

    The only time I ever get paid to waste my time with a guy is if HE kindly offers to tip me while I'm sitting there. And even then, it'll be $20 here and there. My time is worth more than that. I just don't know how to say so outloud. I guess I'm afraid I'll just piss him off and blow any chance of making money off him for the rest of the night.

    Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
    "Everything in the world is about sex; except sex, that's about power."
    -Wilde

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  3. #2
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    Default Re: please help me overcome this

    I've not had that happen often. I remember a girl teaching me money-making tips when I started and she taught me to always ask for tips even just for my time. I used to ask a lot but rarely got anything. I have had guys offer to buy my time, but then I slip up by not agreeing at the beginning how much time he'll get for his money.

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    Default Re: please help me overcome this

    I never ask them to pay me for talking to them because chances are they wont do it and its rude. However if they turn down a dance then I will just kindly say "Well it was great meeting you but I gotta go make some money before the night ends" Once they turn down a dance then talking to them after that is just a waste of time and its time to move on to the paying customers. I hate when guys only want to "chill" or "talk". But that happens all the time and the best thing to do is not talk to them for too long if they are not getting dances or even tipping.

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    Veteran Member Anastasia Foxx's Avatar
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    Default Re: please help me overcome this

    I always say something like "Well, I'll try to check back with you later," then I just get up and walk away to get dances. But then every time I get a dance, if I have to walk past the time waster, I always make sure to make eye contact & give him a shitty smile, like "See, you're missing something." Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Worked like a charm last night!
    **Women are Angels. And when someone breaks our wings, we simply continue to fly...usually on a broomstick. We are flexible like that.**

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    Default Re: please help me overcome this

    a lot of guys in clubs today are time wasters. the best you can really do is learn how to spot them before giving them a lot of your time, then leave. if you do this, some will be "forced" to spend money. others don't give a fuck and won't spend no matter what. don't get into such deep conversations. it rarely helps, and sometimes it hurts because they see you as too "real" to treat you as an object. a lot of guys can't really see girls as both human beings and sex toys. and the time wasters don't deserve to see you for who you are anyways.
    -love everyone but keep them far from your soul-

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    Default Re: please help me overcome this

    I have a rate for sitting and chatting (I charge by the half hour since my club has no VIP) and I tell this to customers as soon as they say they want my company rather than my dances. It works about half the time, and when it doesn't they usually get a dance or two anyway. It's not rude, it's business. Your time is worth money. If you leave it to the guy to decide how much to tip you for sitting and chatting, of course he'll pay you little to nothing. Why pay for something you can get for free? You have to let them know that you're not free. It doesn't occur to many of them unless you tell them. You'd be surprised at how much respect and money you can get from them for being a good business woman.

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    Featured Member sierra.'s Avatar
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    Default Re: please help me overcome this

    I have been paid for just talking before, but it doesn't happen often.
    If I can tell a guy is really into me and wants me to keep him company, I will say something like "I'm having such a great time with you, I wish I could stay but I have to get back to work." Sometimes this is enough and they will get the hint and they'll hand me some money to stay. Sometimes I'll be more blunt and just tell them I can stay if they pay me.

    I probably don't need to tell you this but get the money upfront! On Saturday I had this guy who wanted me to hang out with him after I gave him a dance. I told him how much, and he tried to pay me less than half and then said he'd give me whatever I wanted at the end... riiiiiight.

    hot flirting tips 2k13: tell him, “I’m not like other girls,” then pull down the secret zipper at the back of your neck to reveal your true reptilian form


  12. #8
    j9schmetterling
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    Default Re: please help me overcome this

    I was just talking today to my THERAPIST (yeah, I know) WHOM I PAY to talk to and she told me that asking for what I need/want whether it be at work or other aspects of my life, it is healthy for my self-esteem, even if I get rejected. It establishes a pattern of stating your needs and desires or something?

    Now, I don't have a psych degree, but I have a degree and a damn lot of experience with customers and dance and I will emphasize what others have said it is NOT RUDE to hint or if you're bold enough even ASK for a tip for spending an hour/half hour of your time talking with a guy. Would you be talking to him if you didn't think he was going to pay you? Where else could he get a beautiful woman (that has to SPEND MONEY and LOTS OF TIME to look like that) to sit and listen to his dumb, rambling ass for hours on end for free/nearly free? Nowhere I know.

    So next time a guy says, "I don't get dances..." or "let's just sit and talk..." Let's all just say, collectively, "that's cool, sweetie, I'm having so much fun talking to you!" *boobies/booty wiggle/pull side of panties/thong* "You can just tip me for my time instead/Lots of people prefer to tip me for my time!" *big doe eyes + smile* It's bold, but I think it's workable and I've had many guys over the past month tip me just for talking to them saying, "this is for your time" or "I've really liked talking with you."

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    Default Re: please help me overcome this

    Quote Originally Posted by j9schmetterling View Post
    So next time a guy says, "I don't get dances..." or "let's just sit and talk..." Let's all just say, collectively, "that's cool, sweetie, I'm having so much fun talking to you!" *boobies/booty wiggle/pull side of panties/thong* "You can just tip me for my time instead/Lots of people prefer to tip me for my time!" *big doe eyes + smile* It's bold, but I think it's workable and I've had many guys over the past month tip me just for talking to them saying, "this is for your time" or "I've really liked talking with you."
    I've done this. Most I've ever gotten is $5. Or a drink, which I make commission off, again, about $5.

    When I mention that my time is $, and that as much as I've enjoyed talking, I've got to go, most guys just smile and send me on my way, no $ in hand.

    Sorry for no advice. I've tried all these techniques with minimal success.
    "You can close your eyes to reality but not to memories -Stainslaw J. Lec

    Confuscius say: "Man who pull bra stap get bust in face"


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  16. #10
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    Default Re: please help me overcome this

    Like most people have said, you just gotta know when to walk away. I've made the mistake of staying for too long sooo many times. It can definately be hard to realise that it's not rude to ask for time but often those guys that just wanna hang aren't going to give up much anyway and if they are, it'll probably be upfront (in my experience).

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    Default Re: please help me overcome this

    I'm very much a talker and often end up talking too long because I either like chatting with them or because I am too nice to interrupt or get away. It helps me to have a certain goal of amount of lapdances per hour so if I don't have at least that then I find a way to excuse myself. I say that I have to go see when I'm up on stage again and that I'll be back to say hi later or whatever. When my friend is working, we save each other. She calls me away when she sees I am sitting somewhere too long, and then I don't look like I was being rude or anything- my friend just needed me.

    This, or if there is a lull in the conversation I say something like "You should go dance with me now!" while nodding my head yes and smiling. If they turn me down I say okay and that I will be back later to bother them with a smile or wink or whatever. That or that I've really loved chatting with them but that I must make money tonight for school books/this bill or that bill/whatever and to wish me luck. Usually they understand and let me go without getting upset. Something along those lines...

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    Veteran Member pipermonroe's Avatar
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    Default Re: please help me overcome this

    ^^I used to have this problem too, which would quickly land me in the friend zone. I'd sat too long and now custy's like me too much for me to be effectively sexy. Thumbs down. I have to now keep in mind that even though I'm a friendly person, men go to strip clubs to be seduced (for the most part) and this has greatly changed my money. I am friendly still but do the sexy seductive route, sit in their lap, play with their hair, and try to channel Jessica Rabbit, not Jessica the girl next door. I've mentioned many times before that this is not natural to me, and it felt very uncomfortable at first, but now it's second nature. Shoot, we're talking about money here, I'll take a week of uncomfortable to make more.


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    Featured Member Stripper Hacks's Avatar
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    Default Re: please help me overcome this

    This usually only works with guys with lots of money. They like you but don't want any dances and they want you to like them back so they tip really well just for the company.

    Do not expect this from customers that are cheap. They want the moon on a silver platter for $20.

    If they are cheap or don't want a dance don't be afraid to tell them "It's $20 a song to keep me off the floor and chatting with you. Otherwise I need to go entertain someone else."

    You never know someone might take you up on keeping you around.




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    Default Re: please help me overcome this

    This is why I always stress the importance of LOOKING busy...even if you're not.
    It all comes down to supply and demand: if your supply of time is low, then the customer knows that if he wants to keep you he needs to pony up.
    Rebecca Avalon







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    God/dess Jay12's Avatar
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    Default Re: please help me overcome this

    Quote Originally Posted by kitinboots View Post
    I've not had that happen often. I remember a girl teaching me money-making tips when I started and she taught me to always ask for tips even just for my time. I used to ask a lot but rarely got anything. I have had guys offer to buy my time, but then I slip up by not agreeing at the beginning how much time he'll get for his money.
    A good way to increase your rate of getting tips by just sitting around is playing with your bottoms and/or garter and giving the customers cues about putting his money on them.





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    Default Re: please help me overcome this

    eyes on the prize my dear. don't be afraid to ask for money. men expect it! they try to dance around the situation and string you along, but they know what time it is when they walk through that door. don't feel bad because all the other girls are doing it and guys expect you to try to take everything in their wallet.

    it'll take some time but just stay focused. don't worry about what the guy thinks of you. don't worry that he won't be attracted to a money hungry stripper. we're all money hungry.

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