Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 26

Thread: Guys who are obnoxious when they drink... ugh!!!

  1. #1
    God/dess seashell's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2010
    Location
    Lucid Dreaming
    Posts
    3,524
    Thanks
    6,585
    Thanked 8,120 Times in 2,627 Posts
    My Mood
    Angelic

    Default Guys who are obnoxious when they drink... ugh!!!

    OK, so I've been dating this guy for a few weeks, and I was really starting to like him... he's been really sweet, funny, and caring. We've had a lot of fun together... I just like being around him, and he's made it clear that he really likes me. He's been a perfect gentleman, too... takes me out to nice places, always pays for me, opens the car door, and has been really respectful.

    BUT... last night I went to a party with him and a bunch of his friends, and he acted like a *total* ass. He kept making comments about stuff he'd done with other girls, and telling me to do things like bring him a beer, bring him food, etc. Just being a jerk... and acting like an idiot. I've never seen him act that way before, and I don't know if it was just because he was around his friends, but it was SO freaking obnoxious...

    I started getting pretty rude back to him... I called him a manwhore and refused to bring him food. He was being a dick to some of the other guests as well, so I wasn't the only one who was pissed off.

    He wants to go out to a movie tonight, so I'm curious to see how it will go... and if things will be different or weird after last night. I can't help myself, I really want to go and see what he has to say. LOL...

    What would YOU do in this situation?! Should I just write him off and call it a day? We're not serious or anything... he keeps hinting that he wants to be in a relationship with me, but especially after last night, I don't think I want that.

    Does being drunk excuse obnoxious behavior? Are some people just like that...? Why do seemingly good guys always have issues?

  2. #2
    Veteran Member DottieMay's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2011
    Location
    Jersey! No fist pumping here.
    Posts
    443
    Thanks
    159
    Thanked 301 Times in 170 Posts

    Default Re: Guys who are obnoxious when they drink... ugh!!!

    Well, if he acts like that in front of his friends and it is not the fact he is drunk, I would say lose him. But I think I would definitely bring it up if you do decide to go with him tonight. I would actually bring it up beforehand so you can see what his reaction is like. If he's a jerk about it, then you have your answer. There is also the chance that he doesn't remember what he said lol. But I would really make sure that drunk or not, this is not acceptable and you do not want to be around someone like that.
    Whats 6 inches long, 2 inches wide, and drives women wild?...... Money

  3. The Following User Says Thank You to DottieMay For This Useful Post:


  4. #3
    Veteran Member fast tan77's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Morgantown WV
    Posts
    380
    Thanks
    28
    Thanked 98 Times in 77 Posts

    Default Re: Guys who are obnoxious when they drink... ugh!!!

    Sounds like he was showing off in front of his friends.
    I can do better than you in a two bit fancy house

  5. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to fast tan77 For This Useful Post:


  6. #4
    Featured Member JoJoX's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    1,698
    Thanks
    1,351
    Thanked 4,248 Times in 1,017 Posts
    My Mood
    Psychedelic

    Default Re: Guys who are obnoxious when they drink... ugh!!!

    what a loser he is!! enough said.

  7. The Following User Says Thank You to JoJoX For This Useful Post:


  8. #5
    Featured Member pussyinboots's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2006
    Location
    South UK
    Posts
    1,682
    Thanks
    291
    Thanked 583 Times in 397 Posts
    My Mood
    Devilish

    Default Re: Guys who are obnoxious when they drink... ugh!!!

    Three things:

    1) There is absolutely no excuse to behave like an asshole when he's drunk.

    2) There is absolutely no excuse to behave like an asshole and disrespect you in front of his friends - drunk or sober.

    3) Dump him.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    "Good Girls keep diaries....Bad Girls don't have the time..!!"

  9. The Following User Says Thank You to pussyinboots For This Useful Post:


  10. #6
    Banned
    Joined
    Jul 2005
    Posts
    11,037
    Thanks
    1,891
    Thanked 5,124 Times in 3,086 Posts

    Default Re: Guys who are obnoxious when they drink... ugh!!!

    Get rid of this guy. Years ago I dumped an alcoholic. At first he seemed so sweet and he was. That is until I got to know him better and realized he was an ass. He started getting verbally abusive. I moved in with him before I realized he was this way and he started doing what this guy was, such as ordering me around. I dumped him and will never allow another jerk to do this.

  11. #7
    God/dess seashell's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2010
    Location
    Lucid Dreaming
    Posts
    3,524
    Thanks
    6,585
    Thanked 8,120 Times in 2,627 Posts
    My Mood
    Angelic

    Default Re: Guys who are obnoxious when they drink... ugh!!!

    Thanks everyone for the advice. I'm getting a pretty bad vibe from him... and it sounds like all of you do, too. It just sucks because I got out of a long term relationship not too long ago, and all I want is to find a nice guy who will treat me right. Ugh... why is that so hard?

    We went out to dinner and a movie tonight, and it was okay... but he didn't apologize for anything that happened last night. I brought up some of the stuff he did that offended me in a slightly joking way, like when he hit on his neighbor in front of me... but he just laughed it off. I didn't want to be confrontational, just wanted to see his reaction. He lost a few more points.

    I want to keep hanging out with him until I find someone new, though. Right now I feel like I don't really have anyone else... one of my best friends turned on me, I just got dumped by a guy I thought I was going to marry, and I basically have no one to lean on but work friends and this guy. I guess I'm at that point where I'll take whatever I can get...

  12. #8
    God/dess Kylea2's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Denver & San Fran
    Posts
    6,907
    Thanks
    181
    Thanked 2,002 Times in 1,285 Posts

    Default Re: Guys who are obnoxious when they drink... ugh!!!

    Dump him... you don't need us to tell you that!

    Quote Originally Posted by seashell View Post
    I guess I'm at that point where I'll take whatever I can get...
    DON'T fall into that attitude, it will lead to horrible things. For example, a friend of mine took up that attitude & married a guy who wasn't right for her. A month later he had run up her credit cards by $23k, & she found out he was wearing her lingerie! Sure, the second part might eound silly, but after the divorce he stalked her, & broke into her home numerous time to steal items she'd worn. I've had my own bad experiences, but don't care to get into it... & you all know I share stories here often to illustrate points - so just assume its really bad.

    I'm all for just filling in your time by dating lots of potentials until you find one you like. Look into match makers, non-profit fundraisers & non-profit singles events. Heck, even the SD sites.
    Don't you ever sleep?
    Not at night...that's when the stars have rather better things to do. They're coming out, shining, that sort of thing.
    - Blog -
    My PM box fills up quick. If you have a question please with your username.
    Congrats to Pryce on doing some much needed tending in his garden!
    - -


  13. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Kylea2 For This Useful Post:


  14. #9
    God/dess
    Joined
    Oct 2005
    Posts
    6,948
    Thanks
    2,845
    Thanked 5,526 Times in 3,113 Posts
    My Mood
    Angelic

    Default Re: Guys who are obnoxious when they drink... ugh!!!

    There are plenty of other carp in the creek.

  15. The Following User Says Thank You to slowpoke For This Useful Post:


  16. #10
    God/dess Kisca's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2010
    Posts
    2,447
    Thanks
    1,403
    Thanked 1,534 Times in 805 Posts

    Default Re: Guys who are obnoxious when they drink... ugh!!!

    You can talk to him and tell him you dont like it. Better off than playing games.

    If he seems to be hiding something and you want to be serious with this guy, then do have a serious talk, if he doesnt seem to get it, move on. I saw you mentioned you're just seeing him for fun, then I see no harm in hanging out with him, while searching for another guy - as long as you enjoy his company. If he makes you feel bad, upset, stressed then dont see him. But for now, if your just keeping your time w him when nothing else is happening, then why not - just do it while he doesnt drink!

  17. The Following User Says Thank You to Kisca For This Useful Post:


  18. #11
    Veteran Member fast tan77's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Morgantown WV
    Posts
    380
    Thanks
    28
    Thanked 98 Times in 77 Posts

    Default Re: Guys who are obnoxious when they drink... ugh!!!

    Not to defend the guy, if he does this every time he drinks no matter who's company he is in then its a problem. BUT, every guys has those couple of friends who you just act like a complete ass with. I have two. I never take anyone, I know around them anymore cause I know it always turns in to complete drunkin ass fest. 99.9% of the time I am nice, calm, quiet, repectfully but get me around these two and I am outa control.

    So, if your guys is good 99% of the time and only a drunkin ass around this group, take a lesson. Tell him go have a good time with your friends and never go with him if he is going to be around them. Now if he wants to be with them every weekend or something like that then its not worth it but if maybe twice a year (thats about how often I see my two, can't handle any more) then he may be worth another shot.
    I can do better than you in a two bit fancy house

  19. The Following User Says Thank You to fast tan77 For This Useful Post:


  20. #12
    Moderator unbeleavable's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Atl
    Posts
    3,429
    Thanks
    4,881
    Thanked 2,349 Times in 1,220 Posts

    Default Re: Guys who are obnoxious when they drink... ugh!!!

    He sounds very young...How would he feel if you did that to him in front of your friends? I wouldn't put up with that BS neither should you. LOSE HIM

  21. The Following User Says Thank You to unbeleavable For This Useful Post:


  22. #13
    God/dess seashell's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2010
    Location
    Lucid Dreaming
    Posts
    3,524
    Thanks
    6,585
    Thanked 8,120 Times in 2,627 Posts
    My Mood
    Angelic

    Default Re: Guys who are obnoxious when they drink... ugh!!!

    Yeah, we're both pretty young... he's 21 and I'm 22. I usually date guys who are older than me... the last boyfriend I had was 28.

    Part of the drunken assholeness probably *was* the people he was around... his cousins were there, and he's really close with them, but one of them was a crazy drunk, too. So I think they really escalated each other. Come to think of it, I've seen him pretty drunk before... in fact, we were out drinking and dancing on our first date... and he was definitely not an asshole then.

    I guess we'll see what happens. I'm torn, but I can forgive someone acting like an idiot if it's a rare occasion.

    Meh, I know I shouldn't settle for dating a loser... awhile ago, I was using Plenty of Fish, but never had the balls to meet anyone. Maybe I'll get back to that... It's kind of sad, but the guy this thread is about already scores HUGE points over the last couple boyfriends I had. Guess I'm used to settling. I feel like I deserve better, though... I should probably just stay single for a while and see what else is out there.

    You guys have the best advice.

  23. #14
    God/dess Kisca's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2010
    Posts
    2,447
    Thanks
    1,403
    Thanked 1,534 Times in 805 Posts

    Default Re: Guys who are obnoxious when they drink... ugh!!!

    ^ Hah Im on POF, ones u meet 1, it gets easier.. most of them are sooo young though! I cant stand guys under than 25 and thats all Im getting on that site!

    If he acts normal around you then just hang out with him for fun, nothing serious, it doesnt hurt to look for a better serious guy, as long you both of you understand. I agree with what fast tan77 said, there are some people who you shit faced with, then there are people who you need to control you craziness around. I think he just felt comfy in the setting that he didnt understand what he was doing. Young guys seem to blurt things out and not think of what they are saying, drunk or not.

  24. The Following User Says Thank You to Kisca For This Useful Post:


  25. #15
    Banned
    Joined
    Jul 2005
    Posts
    11,037
    Thanks
    1,891
    Thanked 5,124 Times in 3,086 Posts

    Default Re: Guys who are obnoxious when they drink... ugh!!!

    Not to change the subject but when I was on POF all I got were dads who were in their 50's. Yuck. I deleted my one profile because of this and another profile was removed because many of these loser men complained I rejected them though my profile clearly stated no dads.

    OP you are 22 and there are plenty of single men in their 20's. You don't need to settle. I am 40 and I even refuse to settle, though there are less men my age available.

  26. #16
    Moderator Aurora_Sunset's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2011
    Posts
    6,430
    Thanks
    19,846
    Thanked 18,507 Times in 4,919 Posts
    My Mood
    Breezy

    Default Re: Guys who are obnoxious when they drink... ugh!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by seashell View Post

    I want to keep hanging out with him until I find someone new, though. Right now I feel like I don't really have anyone else... one of my best friends turned on me, I just got dumped by a guy I thought I was going to marry, and I basically have no one to lean on but work friends and this guy. I guess I'm at that point where I'll take whatever I can get...
    Nooooo! If you really think you should get rid of him - do it. Don't just hang out with him until you find someone new. Keeping him around will only hinder your quest to find someone better and make you used to this behavior so your standards will never go up. Sooo much better to be single than to put yourself through the stress and self-consciousness that a loser like this will bring to your life.

    Quote Originally Posted by seashell View Post
    Yeah, we're both pretty young... he's 21 and I'm 22. I usually date guys who are older than me... the last boyfriend I had was 28.

    Part of the drunken assholeness probably *was* the people he was around... his cousins were there, and he's really close with them, but one of them was a crazy drunk, too. So I think they really escalated each other. Come to think of it, I've seen him pretty drunk before... in fact, we were out drinking and dancing on our first date... and he was definitely not an asshole then.

    I guess we'll see what happens. I'm torn, but I can forgive someone acting like an idiot if it's a rare occasion.
    I would say that if it was the people he's around, just dump him now. Guys who change into completely different people when they're around their friends are total dicks who will never get over that behavior. I was casually seeing a guy for quite awhile who was always such a good friend to me when we were one-on-one but the second he was around his other friends, we would always end up fighting because he turned into a total tool - made me the butt of his jokes, put down everything I said, got ridiculously angry with me making joking comments... And no matter how many times I brought it up, he never stopped doing it - so I eventually just had to remove myself from the party/get-together every time he had other friends around... that shouldn't happen. If a guy is not able to continue acting respectful and like his normal self around other people, he's a tool and this behavior will never change - get out now.

    If it was just 21-year-old drunkenness... he may grow out of it - probably not soon though. Drunkenness isn't exactly an excuse for being a total ass, but people can become more obnoxious when they're drunk. Especially if they're totally smashed - but if it was just slightly drunk, he should've still had more control than that. It's possible in his drunken state, he thought he was just being funny and came off really mean - I've done that when I'm drunk. But if you brought it up the next day and he didn't say anything apologetic... then he probably acts this way every time he drinks and thinks it's totally acceptable behavior. He won't grow out of this for many more years... and you should not wait that long.

    Overall, I say signs point to getting rid of him. Just because he's better than the last few guys you've been with doesn't make him good. One step up from shit is still pretty crappy lol Forget him so you can focus on climbing the ladder of gentlemen much much higher!

  27. The Following User Says Thank You to Aurora_Sunset For This Useful Post:


  28. #17
    Featured Member pussyinboots's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2006
    Location
    South UK
    Posts
    1,682
    Thanks
    291
    Thanked 583 Times in 397 Posts
    My Mood
    Devilish

    Default Re: Guys who are obnoxious when they drink... ugh!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by seashell View Post
    Thanks everyone for the advice. I'm getting a pretty bad vibe from him... and it sounds like all of you do, too. It just sucks because I got out of a long term relationship not too long ago, and all I want is to find a nice guy who will treat me right. Ugh... why is that so hard?

    I guess I'm at that point where I'll take whatever I can get...
    Oh no....

    We have ALL wanted to meet and settle with a nice guy who treats us right. The trouble is in this day and age - it's become THE 'be all and end all' of life, and girls the world over put getting a partner waaay before education, career and personal development.

    Thus, a lot of the time, a lot of us look for the 'someone' to fill these holes in our lives for us, and we jump for the first guy who smiles, flashes his wallet at us and tells us how beautiful, intelligent and funny we are. Honestly - we should have learned from High School that men don't grow up - and they're just as eager to get into our panties when they're 35 as they were at 15. Harsh but true!!

    Believe in yourself first....then you'll be able to spot and pick the right 'other'.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    "Good Girls keep diaries....Bad Girls don't have the time..!!"

  29. The Following User Says Thank You to pussyinboots For This Useful Post:


  30. #18
    God/dess seashell's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2010
    Location
    Lucid Dreaming
    Posts
    3,524
    Thanks
    6,585
    Thanked 8,120 Times in 2,627 Posts
    My Mood
    Angelic

    Default Re: Guys who are obnoxious when they drink... ugh!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Aurora_Sunset View Post
    Just because he's better than the last few guys you've been with doesn't make him good. One step up from shit is still pretty crappy
    Omg, when you put it that way! lol... That is so true.

  31. #19
    God/dess Kylea2's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Denver & San Fran
    Posts
    6,907
    Thanks
    181
    Thanked 2,002 Times in 1,285 Posts

    Default Re: Guys who are obnoxious when they drink... ugh!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by pussyinboots View Post
    Honestly - we should have learned from High School that men don't grow up - and they're just as eager to get into our panties when they're 35 as they were at 15. Harsh but true!!
    This is so true. +1
    Don't you ever sleep?
    Not at night...that's when the stars have rather better things to do. They're coming out, shining, that sort of thing.
    - Blog -
    My PM box fills up quick. If you have a question please with your username.
    Congrats to Pryce on doing some much needed tending in his garden!
    - -


  32. #20
    God/dess lestat1's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2002
    Location
    NY Capital District
    Posts
    3,775
    Thanks
    758
    Thanked 1,943 Times in 696 Posts
    My Mood
    Cynical

    Default Re: Guys who are obnoxious when they drink... ugh!!!

    People (SO, family, friends, coworkers, etc) aren't magical, 100% self-aware beings who always know how their behavior makes you feel. Have you truly never done something to upset someone you care about in your entire life?

    Talk to him. Tell him how his behavior made you feel. He'll either not care and keep doing it anyway (in which case dump him), or he'll apologize and try not to do it again. A "one strike and you're out" rule applied to even little things seems pretty draconian to me, and a recipe for lonliness.
    Quote Originally Posted by _Avery_ View Post
    omg, why is it so huge?!! lol lol

  33. #21
    God/dess seashell's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2010
    Location
    Lucid Dreaming
    Posts
    3,524
    Thanks
    6,585
    Thanked 8,120 Times in 2,627 Posts
    My Mood
    Angelic

    Default Re: Guys who are obnoxious when they drink... ugh!!!

    Here's a lil update... I've hung out with him a few times since then, and at one point we wound up talking about deeper issues. I told him honestly about how I felt at his party, and what he said that bothered me. He apologized and admitted that in the past, he'd had girls had stop talking to him after seeing him drunk and stupid like that.

    I was happy that he apologized, *but* it turns out to not have been a one time thing. He's been an ass on and off ever since. I guess I'm noticing it more now because I'm getting to know him better and he's being himself more around me. Sooo... this is definitely not going anywhere. I mean, I'm kind of pathetically desperate to have someone to spend my time with and hook up with, but this guy will not become a boyfriend. I'm not going to put up with him being a jerk.

    Dating sucks.

    Anyway, I think I'm just going to immerse myself in work and hanging out with other people... and let this guy fall by the wayside. It was fun for about a week... time to move on.

  34. The Following User Says Thank You to seashell For This Useful Post:


  35. #22
    Featured Member pussyinboots's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2006
    Location
    South UK
    Posts
    1,682
    Thanks
    291
    Thanked 583 Times in 397 Posts
    My Mood
    Devilish

    Default Re: Guys who are obnoxious when they drink... ugh!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by seashell View Post
    Here's a lil update... I've hung out with him a few times since then, and at one point we wound up talking about deeper issues. I told him honestly about how I felt at his party, and what he said that bothered me.
    He apologized and admitted that in the past, he'd had girls had stop talking to him after seeing him drunk and stupid like that.
    I was happy that he apologized, *but* it turns out to not have been a one time thing. He's been an ass on and off ever since. I guess I'm noticing it more now because I'm getting to know him better and he's being himself more around me. Sooo... this is definitely not going anywhere. I mean, I'm kind of pathetically desperate to have someone to spend my time with and hook up with, but this guy will not become a boyfriend. I'm not going to put up with him being a jerk.

    Dating sucks.

    Anyway, I think I'm just going to immerse myself in work and hanging out with other people... and let this guy fall by the wayside. It was fun for about a week... time to move on.
    And he hasn't changed...? He will apologise until the cows come home - this guy has a problem and it will only stop when he realises he is it.

    You're better off away from him.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    "Good Girls keep diaries....Bad Girls don't have the time..!!"

  36. The Following User Says Thank You to pussyinboots For This Useful Post:


  37. #23
    God/dess Trem's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    2,958
    Thanks
    1,714
    Thanked 3,253 Times in 1,343 Posts
    My Mood
    Angelic

    Default Re: Guys who are obnoxious when they drink... ugh!!!

    If losing all those other girls wasn't enough to change him then it is not something that is going to stop.
    "Well done. Here are the test results: You are a horrible person. I'm serious, that's what it says: 'A horrible person.' We weren't even testing for that."

  38. The Following User Says Thank You to Trem For This Useful Post:


  39. #24
    Veteran Member
    Joined
    May 2011
    Location
    North Milwaukee
    Posts
    209
    Thanks
    58
    Thanked 41 Times in 30 Posts

    Default Re: Guys who are obnoxious when they drink... ugh!!!

    Why did you call him a manwhore if he's just an ass-hat?

  40. #25
    Featured Member
    Joined
    Apr 2010
    Posts
    1,255
    Thanks
    122
    Thanked 467 Times in 250 Posts

    Default Re: Guys who are obnoxious when they drink... ugh!!!

    I had a bf that was the biggest asshole when drunk. He was really verbally abusive to me and then wouldn't remember the next day. Getting rid of him was the best thing I ever did!!

  41. The Following User Says Thank You to kitinboots For This Useful Post:


Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Guys are SO weird! Ugh.
    By wanderlust08 in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 24
    Last Post: 07-14-2010, 05:37 PM
  2. a guys drink =s what he's willing to spend? (part two!)
    By Pretty_Penny in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 33
    Last Post: 06-30-2008, 06:30 AM
  3. a guys drink =s what he's willing to spend?
    By Pretty_Penny in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 06-28-2008, 02:09 PM
  4. Guys that drink . . .
    By AzAzn in forum Customer Conversation
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: 02-04-2005, 05:30 PM
  5. Obnoxious DJs?
    By themuse in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 43
    Last Post: 01-22-2004, 11:16 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •