Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 34

Thread: The woman on the other end...

  1. #1
    Senior Member NikoWhite's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Illinois
    Posts
    82
    Thanks
    30
    Thanked 15 Times in 12 Posts

    Dizzy The woman on the other end...

    I used to dance for a few years. Traveled a lot. Worked in many clubs. Ofcourse saw many things. Now i have even stopped private parties. Im with a man that loves me wants to support me while I get a career... But he's still a man, so strip clubs are always intriguing.
    I would see many married men lie where they were, ask me for sexual favors, or just straight trash talk their significant others. Not to mention I used to bend the rules a bit with dances and get quite into it.
    I can't tell my bf to not go to one nor do I want to. I guess my experiences while working in clubs made me determined never to be the dimb woman on the other end. I trust him as much as I could trust a guy. It's hard. I feel thy're all backstabbing pigs. He's proved himself for a while, i am just paranoid.
    I am almost tempted to go as far as calling girls I know who work in the clubs "to keep an eye on him". I've never dated before, so i've never been the jelous type. I haaaaaate this feeling!... But I would hate something happening more. And maybe im territorial now. If im not involved I don't want him to be. That's so messed up. I danced had different views. I just have never been in love and treated so well... Scared.

    Opinions????

  2. #2
    Senior Member NikoWhite's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Illinois
    Posts
    82
    Thanks
    30
    Thanked 15 Times in 12 Posts

    Default Re: The woman on the other end...

    Correction--- never with a man ive lived before. The only "bf" ive had before was an old flat loser living off me who got me knocked up and i tried to make it wirk for my son. So the love- genuine love- is new and scary, making me a different person :/ gahh

  3. #3
    God/dess Kylea2's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Denver & San Fran
    Posts
    6,907
    Thanks
    181
    Thanked 2,002 Times in 1,285 Posts

    Default Re: The woman on the other end...

    I'm not sure how you were bending the rules, but there are still plenty of clean dancers around. I don't think jealousy is good, but I do think you desrve to be respected & to know you are safe. For that reason I'd probably suggest playing into his male fantasies other ways, like hiring a private dancer for the two of you, or a girl you know cut for him. Another option might be going to swingers clubs so you can both flirt, but leave with each other.
    Last edited by Kylea2; 06-02-2011 at 12:43 AM.
    Don't you ever sleep?
    Not at night...that's when the stars have rather better things to do. They're coming out, shining, that sort of thing.
    - Blog -
    My PM box fills up quick. If you have a question please with your username.
    Congrats to Pryce on doing some much needed tending in his garden!
    - -


  4. #4
    God/dess PleasureVictim's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2005
    Location
    nowhere I want to be
    Posts
    3,684
    Thanks
    803
    Thanked 767 Times in 394 Posts

    Default Re: The woman on the other end...

    I can understand how you feel. I've always been a realist, so it didn't take me working in a strip club to see that humans in general (not just men) can't be trusted. I don't say that meaning everyone is bad, I just believe people will make a choice to do what they want to do and no amount of promises or guarantees can change that.

    I trust that my SO will go out and do what he says he will. I don't want to play P.I. with anyone. What has happened in the past is that if there was dirt done, it was found out. From condom wrappers to pieces of paper with phone numbers to texts that cause strange behavior. Then I give em walking papers.

    DO NOT call and check up on him. You are involving other people in your relationship and going overboard IMO. They can have devious intentions themselves. Either you believe him or you don't.

    No one wants to be the other woman. Well, some do, but that's another topic. That isn't completely your choice though. If he goes out and does those things, you will become that woman. No amount of phone calls or jealousy fueled tactics can change that. Either he's a decent guy who can appreciate you and your boundaries, or he's a jerk like the others you have met. I'm a believer in time revealing all. It sucks yes, but is it worse than the alternative which is spying and making yourself crazy? I don't think so.
    Women of color:
    Shake your ass and preserve your heritage.
    Bang those fucking drums.
    Do it for the present and future generations.
    Have fun and stick it to the man at the same time.
    (bad-dominicana)

  5. #5
    God/dess
    Joined
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    3,142
    Thanks
    1,158
    Thanked 1,112 Times in 673 Posts

    Default Re: The woman on the other end...

    I've been to SCs for a long time and never gotten happy ending extras, though I really enjoy the grinding and rubbing. Not every guy gets happy ending dances.

    Maybe test him to make sure you know how far he'll go. I know people will object to this because it is conniving and sneaky, etc., but why not? Find out once and for all, and then you don't have to worry anymore. Ask a dancer to hustle him hard for extras and discover what happens.

    You can use fear tactics - like discuss what "dirty" dancers do before dancing for him and that he can get diseases from them, etc. Some of the things girls say here about extras dancers is very mean, but might be effective to dissuade him from ever getting happy ending extras.
    Last edited by jack0177057; 06-01-2011 at 02:24 PM.
    Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.
    - Oscar Wilde

  6. The Following User Says Thank You to jack0177057 For This Useful Post:


  7. #6
    Featured Member
    Joined
    May 2011
    Location
    Miami
    Posts
    1,529
    Thanks
    2,260
    Thanked 2,276 Times in 730 Posts

    Default Re: The woman on the other end...

    When I was in the military and went TDY to another state/country with my co-workers, I saw TONS of guys cheating on their SO. It even happened to me, when my ex was sent to Vegas, two weeks before we got married, he cheated on me. He didn't confess until 3 years later... I always told myself I would never be that dumbass who gets cheated on, but even as I was saying this to myself I already was that dumbass... life is a trip.
    Either way, I don't trust guys in general. If they cheat on me, they better hope I never find out. Thats the way I always treated it. The moment I find out, I'm out!

  8. #7
    Senior Member NikoWhite's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Illinois
    Posts
    82
    Thanks
    30
    Thanked 15 Times in 12 Posts

    Default Re: The woman on the other end...

    Lol I agree with you Jack. Yeaaaah I know I may come off crazy for it but I don't think anyone can blame me. I mean I was the other woman to married men and guys in relationships. I don't think a little test is so bad. Atleast I will no for sure instead of hoping and saying I trust when I don't. I would like confidence in the trust. My sense of judgment hasn't been great in the past... So going through my first love blindsighted, I'm not down for. I am curious if I was wrong all these years. Not only that there's good faithful men... But I have actually managed to catch one. It's not only just not wobdering if I can trust him, but skanks will work overtime on a hottie. He's backed of women before, but none of them naked on top of him. Idk hell with it. I'd rather have one crazy moment then going crazy over texts, him goin out etc. Everytime

  9. The Following User Says Thank You to NikoWhite For This Useful Post:


  10. #8
    God/dess PleasureVictim's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2005
    Location
    nowhere I want to be
    Posts
    3,684
    Thanks
    803
    Thanked 767 Times in 394 Posts

    Default Re: The woman on the other end...

    That's understandable, but even if he passes this test now, that is no indication of the future. There are people who trusted in their partners completely, then come to find out that was not the reality. It's not your fault or theirs, and there really is no cheater detector test.
    Women of color:
    Shake your ass and preserve your heritage.
    Bang those fucking drums.
    Do it for the present and future generations.
    Have fun and stick it to the man at the same time.
    (bad-dominicana)

  11. The Following User Says Thank You to PleasureVictim For This Useful Post:


  12. #9
    Moderator Aurora_Sunset's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2011
    Posts
    6,430
    Thanks
    19,846
    Thanked 18,507 Times in 4,919 Posts
    My Mood
    Breezy

    Default Re: The woman on the other end...

    I agree that SC's have made me a little crazy in regards to men. In the beginning, I was like "oh whatever, I would never go home with a customer; I don't know why anyone would be jealous of a stripper who's just doing her job." Then, I met this guy who would come in to accompany his friend but would never buy lapdances and say "I have an awesome gf who lets me come in and have fun but the deal is I can't get lapdances." At first, I felt like he had restored my faith in men because he actually followed his gf's rule. Then one day, I witnessed him getting a lapdance from the one dancer who always spent time cuddled up next to him, and I found out from his friend that he had come back to her motel room and fucked around with her and really liked her and was considering leaving his gf for her.....

    I got soooo disgusted and started believing that no men could be trusted. I've come to the conclusion that there are people who can be trusted and be faithful but they are few and far between. Don't be overly paranoid and fuck things up that don't need to be fucked up. But if you actually have a suspicion, I think it's fair to do what you can to find out if you're right. (Maybe I'm just crazy but I'd rather be a little paranoid/crazy than the fool who didn't check when they had a suspicion). But once you've confirmed that nothing sneaky is going on, and you think you have a good guy, drop it. You don't want to be the fool but you don't want to be the extra-crazy psycho-paranoid bitch either. If you do end up being duped, chalk it up to him being an asshole and you being the victim. Don't start feeling like you should have seen it coming and ended things much earlier. People are shady. They will play you. We all get played at some point. It's not your fault. Stay with the guys you feel are good. Leave the ones you find out are not good. Say "fuck you" to everyone who tries to fuck you.

  13. #10
    Senior Member NikoWhite's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Illinois
    Posts
    82
    Thanks
    30
    Thanked 15 Times in 12 Posts

    Default Re: The woman on the other end...

    ^^^ Aurora_Sunset. lol i completly agree dont fuck up things that shouldn't be. The guys social life is beyond boring and I am retardly paranoid. We use eachothers phones. I look on his phone. So boring. Talking about electricity ( he's an electrian), fishing, drinking, trucks, tracktors. That's it. No girls except baby mama.
    I feel like SC have kind of distorted my views on men to say the least. As well as NEVER wanting to be the dumb bitch, but guess if it happens theres no preperation for it.
    But yet I flirt with guys, because I assume he does with girls. Though I am realizing this isn't the case. It's like I self sabatoge all the few great things that come my way in life.
    It's just a bitch not knowing. Before I met him I had sooo many fuard up abd maaajjjooor trust issues. Still aren't all gone, but he made them much better.

    So maybe I should just wing the trust bit. Give it my all and be happy. Because in the end if he fucks it up its on him. I gave it my all. I'm not controlling or possesive or jelous.. Just paranoid of cheating but he's unaware of that. I feel lije the girls who tell their man theyre worried about it they do it, because the girl's got no confidence and thinks shes unworthy herself.

    Time to put the demons to peace. Lol

  14. #11
    God/dess
    Joined
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    3,142
    Thanks
    1,158
    Thanked 1,112 Times in 673 Posts

    Default Re: The woman on the other end...

    Being in the SC, you see the dark side of man - he is in essence an animal with uncontrollable sexual urges (he may be able to control his actions if he has very strong discipline, but the urges are always there pulling very hard). The picture you see of a mild-mannered hard-working suburban man with his wife and kids - a loving husband and loving father - hides the fact that beneath that "mask" is a man that craves sexual variety, even if he is in love with his wife.

    Think about it this way - anthropologically and historically, in most cultures - it has been accepted that men have double lives: romantic monogamy with wife, sexual promiscuity with "courtesans", mistresses and prostitutes. The richer and more powerful a man is, the more accepted this has been. As recent as the Clinton sex scandal - people in Europe were scratching their heads saying - Huh? What's the big deal? He's a wealthy and powerful man - What is all the fuss? What's the harm? The idea is - that "its just sex" - as long as it is managed right, so that the extra-marital activities do not pull the man away and distract him from his family obligations, there is no real harm, right?

    The idea of eliminating the "double standard" and expecting men to be both romantically and sexually monogamous (the way they expect women to be) is a very recent and very American concept. We are still adjusting and feeling the withdrawal symptoms from this transition.

    I think this is why porn has exploded in this culture. The "its not cheating because its just sex and means nothing" logic is no longer plausible nor accepted. The new thing for men is "its not cheating that I spend my time jerking off to porn and fantasizing about other women, because its not real." -- But, there it is - man's great difficulty in being sexually monogamous. (I know its not always easy for women either, but I definitely think its harder for men - maybe because women have been practicing monogamy longer.)

    To sum it all up - a healthy amount of cynicism and distrust is not bad. You can even say you are helping him by being a jealous GF and keeping an eye out for him. Two people figting temptation together is better than one person fighting it all by himself. Just don't become obsessed over it... use moderation and common sense.

    One thing I really enjoy is roleplaying - playing different roles and dressing in fantasy costumes (maid, schoolgirl, flight attendant, etc.) or pretending to be someone else - gives the variety to his sex life. One of the reasons I've never had happy ending with a stripper - even though this is a HUGE fantasy for me - is that I get to play out this personal fantasy very often with my GF. She's hot with big boobs and just kills me when she wears stripperwear and acts like a very dirty/naughty stripper.
    Last edited by jack0177057; 06-02-2011 at 08:37 AM.
    Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.
    - Oscar Wilde

  15. #12
    Senior Member NikoWhite's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Illinois
    Posts
    82
    Thanks
    30
    Thanked 15 Times in 12 Posts

    Default Re: The woman on the other end...

    Lol I do nooot like that at all! If my ass is supposed to be faithful in soceity and not be called a whore I will make the same standard for him. He's all about what's considered cheating when it comes to me. Why do men socially get the "get out of jail free card", when they cheat but women are whores. I'm pretty sure I have more sexual urges and crave random sex more than him.
    ------ but I can control it because I love him and that's what porn and threesomes are for. I don't get why men have to ve sneaky just involve the woman your with.
    I'm bisexual. I'd love to go to SC's WITH him , i just know what xan happen when the women aren't there. I would go for threesomes.
    I'd like to think im open .. And good looking. So i would truely be vewildered why id get cheated on. And finally give up on men prolli lol

  16. #13
    Moderator Aurora_Sunset's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2011
    Posts
    6,430
    Thanks
    19,846
    Thanked 18,507 Times in 4,919 Posts
    My Mood
    Breezy

    Default Re: The woman on the other end...

    ^^ Haha, I also agree that if I'm expected to be faithful, a man should have to be too (at least in the context of a monogamous relationship - I know there are couples who do it differently). I only believe the "men have an inherent drive to spread their seed, women want to nest" explanation to an extent. Yeah, ok, maybe that's kinda true but hey, I have a biological urge to fuck hot men who aren't my SO - I refuse to believe that it's just sooooo much harder for men to ignore their desires. It sounds like a lame excuse for lack of will power and personal responsibility to me. And I'm having a hard time buying the "monogamy for men is relatively new and we're having a hard time transitioning" theory... I find it difficult to think that just because society came up with a rule about how men are allowed to act that it became a part of their inherent thoughts and drives - if you're growing up in the monogamy-expected society of today, you shouldn't have a hard time "transitioning" from the idea that men are allowed to have mistresses. And I think that most men who cheat are not all that powerful and important so they really have no excuse to think that rule applies to them lol

    Overall, I'd just like to add that I completely understand not wanting to be the "dumb bitch" who gets fooled, BUT, a lot of the time, a woman who gets fooled really isn't dumb... she just got a dick of a man. I feel like your fear here isn't so much about him cheating - it's a fear of feeling like an idiot, which I completely get - I still struggle with this myself.

    But, IMO, you're only the "dumb bitch" if you have glaring evidence that something funny is going on and you choose to ignore it for the sake of "oh, but I trust him" (which usually just really means that you can't mentally handle the idea of finding out the truth). Trust is important but blatantly sketchy shit shouldn't be ignored until your suspicions are either confirmed or proven wrong. Other than that, if there's nothing obviously wrong and then all of a sudden you find out something went down - well, that's just him being a good liar and an asshole - not you being a dumb fool. You don't think your man would do anything sketchy at a SC so just relax. If he all of a sudden starts acting differently when he talks about it, avoids specifics of the night, starts going more often, or suddenly stops going all together, it's fair to wonder if something happened/is happening. But if the behavior is normal and consistent, I wouldn't worry about it.

    Just remember that it's only being "dumb" if you ignore blatant warning signs - not if you just get screwed over without warning. So, if you are relatively sure he wouldn't cheat, don't obsess over not wanting to be "the fool." It will only hinder your ability to give your full emotional self to the relationship if you're too worried about your ego over "what if's" that probably won't even happen.

  17. The Following User Says Thank You to Aurora_Sunset For This Useful Post:


  18. #14
    Veteran Member lfr's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2011
    Location
    New York
    Posts
    211
    Thanks
    64
    Thanked 40 Times in 31 Posts

    Default protecting privacy with no names....

    Quote Originally Posted by PleasureVictim View Post
    That's understandable, but even if he passes this test now, that is no indication of the future. There are people who trusted in their partners completely, then come to find out that was not the reality. It's not your fault or theirs, and there really is no cheater detector test.
    this is true. people can change for better or worse, so you just have to know how your relationship is and trust it.

    I'll tell you this, from my perspective checking out my friends (who were in relationships), some of whom are/were cheaters and others who are not.

    The strip club is a sort of, indicator. generally a guy will go as far in a club as they will outside a club. the SC is not the danger. the sex is open and usually observed for fun for the boys.

    but the ones, kinda like the ones described, will suddenly feel comfortable and willingly get a girl to do stuff with, as far as they can go. these guys will cheat in and out of a club taking it all the way. married or not, kids or not.

    guys who want out of a relationship will willingly cheat in a club. they may be with someone, but when they hit the club and are in the right mood, they'll go for it. and of course, later on, they broke up with the SO.

    guys in relationships who just don't want to go to strip clubs are hooked on their girl and don't want to mess things up. they'll find some other form of entertainment to have fun. Now this is dependent on the fact that they are 'clean'. Not doing drugs or alcoholics or whatnot.

    Cause an alcoholic friend was this guy, but not until he sobered up did he start to refuse to go with us to the clubs. He honestly loves his girl this much. gave up drinking and the party life. has 3 girls now with her. it took missing his flight from vegas (to get back for their wedding) and her about to leave him, did he finally realize his mistakes.

    In the clubs, he was generally a drunk A**(*^e, who was abusive toward everyone but he did this at parties too. but he was NOT a big participant in the SC for laps and stuff. he was just a mess.

    some 'good' guys had shaky relationships from the start, and after many parties and going to SC's, a good friend, is sadly a regualr cheater. He was cheating right from the getgo of the marriage, but whereas before he rarely entered a club, pre-marriage, his interest in girls in and out of the club has been liberal and so has his actions in clubs.

    the way I see it is, guys can claim they are being dragged to a club or whatever, but if your relationship doesn't have almost absolute trust yet (meaning, in liew of hanging with the guys, he'll stick with his girl, or bring her along, EVERY time), then he may be wanting to cheat. If you tell him your wishes and he wants to respect them, he shouldn't enter any club if you don't want him to.

    sorry, guys, there it is.
    of course, single guys are different.
    I wish I knew what I was doing...

  19. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to lfr For This Useful Post:


  20. #15
    Veteran Member
    Joined
    May 2011
    Location
    North Milwaukee
    Posts
    209
    Thanks
    58
    Thanked 41 Times in 30 Posts

    Default Re: The woman on the other end...

    If you're going to spy on someone at least hire a professional to do it. Why put someone in this position just because they have an occupation that you used to do? It's not fair to anyone.
    Maybe you just miss dancing.

  21. #16
    God/dess Vyanka's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2004
    Location
    Cash-Stack-istan Island
    Posts
    14,704
    Thanks
    6,564
    Thanked 11,625 Times in 3,697 Posts
    My Mood
    Angelic

    Default Re: The woman on the other end...

    I will never date someone who likes to go to SCs, esp if he's with me. The two exes who cheated on me, happen to love going to SCs. This was before I started dancing.

    Granted, if he's a cheater he will do it regardless if he liked going or not. It all depends on the dude. Always go with your gut feeling.

  22. #17
    God/dess lestat1's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2002
    Location
    NY Capital District
    Posts
    3,775
    Thanks
    758
    Thanked 1,943 Times in 696 Posts
    My Mood
    Cynical

    Default Re: The woman on the other end...

    When I've been in a sexually-satisfying relationship, my desire to go to strip cubs drops to zero. Whether that makes me different or all of those married men in clubs are just unhappy at home, I can't say. I do think the vast majority of relationship problems can be resolved with communication:

    "Honey, having seen the way married men act and try to cheat in strip clubs over the years makes me feel uncomforable and insecure about you going to one. I don't want to forbid you from going or having fun, but maybe when you feel the urge to visit a stip club, instead we could spice things up at home or explore some fantasies?"

    Maybe I'm overly optimistic and maybe that's more than you're willing to do to make the relationship work. But it seems healthier than hiring private investigators to spy on your SO and living with worry all of the time.

    Plus, I generally think there is value in finding healthy outlets for our urges and desires rather than trying to fight to supress them.
    Quote Originally Posted by _Avery_ View Post
    omg, why is it so huge?!! lol lol

  23. #18
    Veteran Member
    Joined
    May 2011
    Location
    North Milwaukee
    Posts
    209
    Thanks
    58
    Thanked 41 Times in 30 Posts

    Default Re: The woman on the other end...

    Quote Originally Posted by lestat1 View Post
    When I've been in a sexually-satisfying relationship, my desire to go to strip cubs drops to zero. Whether that makes me different or all of those married men in clubs are just unhappy at home, I can't say. I do think the vast majority of relationship problems can be resolved with communication:

    "Honey, having seen the way married men act and try to cheat in strip clubs over the years makes me feel uncomforable and insecure about you going to one. I don't want to forbid you from going or having fun, but maybe when you feel the urge to visit a stip club, instead we could spice things up at home or explore some fantasies?"

    Maybe I'm overly optimistic and maybe that's more than you're willing to do to make the relationship work. But it seems healthier than hiring private investigators to spy on your SO and living with worry all of the time.

    Plus, I generally think there is value in finding healthy outlets for our urges and desires rather than trying to fight to supress them.
    Don't you think it's more honest, and practicle to hire a pro for this? The only knock I have against strippers in general is so many have a lack of professionalism and this seems unprofessional.
    When people hire a pro for this they usually find out the worst and they dump the cheater immediately. At least they're not wasting time and playing politics.
    The OP might want to find out if her mate is cheating so, I say do it the most efficient way possible. Why take the chance that the "evidence" will be tampered with; now, or in the future.
    The alternative to all this would be to just chill out.

  24. #19
    God/dess Trem's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    2,958
    Thanks
    1,714
    Thanked 3,253 Times in 1,343 Posts
    My Mood
    Angelic

    Default Re: The woman on the other end...

    Look, if you can't trust the guy you are with then you simply should not be with them. What's the point of even being in a relationship if you are just going to go through life terrified of being cheated on? You say you are genuinely in love, well a big part of that is trust and it doesn't sound to me like you have any.
    "Well done. Here are the test results: You are a horrible person. I'm serious, that's what it says: 'A horrible person.' We weren't even testing for that."

  25. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Trem For This Useful Post:


  26. #20
    Banned Fridays's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    2,440
    Thanks
    5,169
    Thanked 4,889 Times in 1,426 Posts
    My Mood
    Daring

    Default Re: The woman on the other end...

    The double standards between men and women are horrible.
    would he want u to go to male strip clubs? where u would be touched by other men and stuff? I guess not.
    do u want him to go to strip clubs? no. tell him so. and he should stop. if it makes u uncomfortable, he should not do it.
    there is not debate about it.
    thats how I see it.
    from "allowing" him to go to SC, it can escalate to allowing other stuff...small stuff, big and bigger... and then u will wonder why hes doing this and that..
    dont cut it.. pull the root out. tell him NO and if he respects u and loves u , he will stop.....
    i dunno, tell him to watch porn... and YouTube Strip Club videos.. lol

  27. #21
    God/dess
    Joined
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    3,142
    Thanks
    1,158
    Thanked 1,112 Times in 673 Posts

    Default Re: The woman on the other end...

    Quote Originally Posted by Fridays View Post
    The double standards between men and women are horrible.
    I disagree. I vote to keep the double standard.

    Quote Originally Posted by Trem View Post
    Look, if you can't trust the guy you are with then you simply should not be with them. What's the point of even being in a relationship if you are just going to go through life terrified of being cheated on? You say you are genuinely in love, well a big part of that is trust and it doesn't sound to me like you have any.
    Trust no one.

    Love the sinner. Hate the sin.

    To the OP: But, seriously, if you can deal with this - try the role playing thing. You take him to the SC, and ask him which dancer he would love to fuck. Let him have an innocent dance. Then, back home, blindfold him, give him a lap dance and let him have his fantasy about fucking that dancer. He will appreciate this very much. This encourages him to be honest with you about his fantasies and lets him act out his fantasies with you. You become BOTH his GF and his mistress. With this level of honesty, trust and fantasy fulfillment, there is no need to go outside the relationship... ever.
    Last edited by jack0177057; 06-07-2011 at 09:44 AM.
    Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.
    - Oscar Wilde

  28. #22
    God/dess Vyanka's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2004
    Location
    Cash-Stack-istan Island
    Posts
    14,704
    Thanks
    6,564
    Thanked 11,625 Times in 3,697 Posts
    My Mood
    Angelic

    Default Re: The woman on the other end...

    I don't like the idea of telling someone what to do. No one should be telling anybody what to do. Either you accept the way they are, if not find someone else you feel you can trust. You shouldn't have anxiety attacks and PI in a serious relationship, that's not normal or healthy.

  29. #23
    God/dess JayATee's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2008
    Location
    In your nightmares...
    Posts
    4,861
    Thanks
    1,334
    Thanked 2,291 Times in 1,133 Posts
    My Mood
    Devilish

    Default Re: The woman on the other end...

    My bf goes a lot. Never worried about it. It doesn't benefit you at all to sit home dwelling on this. People do what they do. If you trust him that has to go as far as knowing you can trust him in a SC the same as you would in any other situations. Not all dancers are like that, just like not all men cheat. And if he is going to cheat, you sitting there worrying about it isn't going to keep him from doing it. You're wasting a lot of energy here on someone who you say has proved he is trustworthy. Give him that. He sounds like a good guy and doesn't deserve you putting together a network of spies to inform you of his every glance toward a dancer or lapdance. Have some faith. Sometimes it's worth it.
    Sorry I missed church. I was too busy practicing witchcraft and becoming a lesbian.

    "If you're good at something, never do it for free." The Dark Knight

    "you conjunctively engender an intoxicating combination of wicked, wholesome & insanely intelligent" - a friend describing me


    Quote Originally Posted by lestat1 View Post
    ^^^ It's a penis, not a martini shaker.
    Blessed Be

  30. #24
    Moderator Aurora_Sunset's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2011
    Posts
    6,430
    Thanks
    19,846
    Thanked 18,507 Times in 4,919 Posts
    My Mood
    Breezy

    Default Re: The woman on the other end...

    Quote Originally Posted by Fridays View Post
    The double standards between men and women are horrible.
    would he want u to go to male strip clubs? where u would be touched by other men and stuff? I guess not.
    I still go to male strip clubs, and my bf doesn't mind. And I think that male strippers are a lot more aggressive about finding someone to go home with that night (most don't do it really for the money) and, surprisingly, they usually hit on the female customers. My bf doesn't mind. It's all fun.

    The same should apply to your bf going to regular SCs. I think the difference is, I always only go to the male SC if I'm going with a friend - it's just a fun time. I think there's a difference between a guy going with friends and just going by himself all the time. I give it to guys to go to a SC by himself once in awhile, but if it's happening consistently, it should probably be as a group activity. I don't understand a need to go by yourself all the time. But, if it's not an everyday thing, and he doesn't usually get ridiculous when out with friends, he should probably be fine going to a SC with friends - and occasionally by himself.

    I guess my point was that I would expect my bf to trust me in an equally provocative situation, so it's unfair to think you shouldn't trust him.

  31. #25
    Member
    Joined
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    67
    Thanks
    39
    Thanked 16 Times in 10 Posts

    Default Re: The woman on the other end...

    in my own personal experience, it's not the girls at the strip club you have to worry about, but the girls in everyday life. like the skeeze at work, the slutty gf (s) with low self esteem, the skank who likes a challenge...i mean, i would worry way more about every day bitches. although, my bf goes out to parties a lot and i don't go. i dont *think* he'd do a one night stand, but he went to miami music week with out me and during the last night of ultra has no recollection of events. am i convinced he didn't screw around? no. but i guess i have to go out on a limb. like he has to trust the fact that while i'm home alone with kids every damn day and night, i don't have guys coming over sexing me up after they're in bed. i struggle with trust too. but what can you do? ;(

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 28
    Last Post: 02-24-2009, 09:00 PM
  2. Will it never end?
    By DancerSarah in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: 11-29-2005, 04:48 PM
  3. how do you know when you should end it?
    By Miss. Kristina Lee in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: 11-10-2005, 10:21 PM
  4. Replies: 11
    Last Post: 10-16-2004, 12:39 PM
  5. the end is here
    By in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 02-03-2004, 09:13 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •