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Thread: Is this crush I have going a little too far?

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    Senior Member Rileygrl06's Avatar
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    Default Is this crush I have going a little too far?

    First I'll say that I've never met a guy outside of the club even after five years of dancing. I'm very strict about this and I've always been strongly opposed to it...till now.

    Its a bit pathetic really...I see a psychiatrist who's become a friend and mentor. He's literally saved my life and I feel like he's the only one I can trust. Maybe because of this I find myself extremely attracted to him. He happens to be Korean. Well, today, a Korean man came to the club and I was instantly drawn to him. For the first time, I'm actually considering going to dinner with a guy I met in the strip club. I feel really guilty. I know deep down it has nothing to do with the guy, but my infatuation with my doctor. I guess this is my way of feeling closer to my shrink. I must sound like a total loser...

    What is the best thing to do in this situation? I'm a little lost at the moment.

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    Veteran Member Camateur's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is this crush I have going a little too far?

    Quote Originally Posted by Rileygrl06 View Post
    First I'll say that I've never met a guy outside of the club even after five years of dancing. I'm very strict about this and I've always been strongly opposed to it...till now.

    Its a bit pathetic really...I see a psychiatrist who's become a friend and mentor. He's literally saved my life and I feel like he's the only one I can trust. Maybe because of this I find myself extremely attracted to him. He happens to be Korean. Well, today, a Korean man came to the club and I was instantly drawn to him. For the first time, I'm actually considering going to dinner with a guy I met in the strip club. I feel really guilty. I know deep down it has nothing to do with the guy, but my infatuation with my doctor. I guess this is my way of feeling closer to my shrink. I must sound like a total loser...

    What is the best thing to do in this situation? I'm a little lost at the moment.
    I think you should TELL your therapist/ Doctor about your feelings and NOT date the guy from the club. Your feelings are a normal part of therapy and may even mean you're on your way to recovery/healing. Make sure to read this about "transference" (below)

    http://psychcentral.com/blog/archive...-my-therapist/

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    God/dess Kylea2's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is this crush I have going a little too far?

    ^^^
    +1 That is my suggestion as well. Tell the doctor what is going on, & don't go out with that guy... it's not fair to him, you, or your doctor to feed into this. If you like your doctor & he's interested, switching doctors might be the better option. As a matter of fact, if I were you I'd probably just tell the doctor straight out that your next appointment will be your last, your really like him as more than just a doctor & more than friends, therefore it's best you work with someone else. Then just tell him if he's ever interested to contact you. Sounds crazy, but it tells him you take his profession seriously & respect it, therefore you know when it's time to move on, while also putting the ball in his court as far as potentially dating. With that said though, don't be disappointed if he doesn't contact you... I suspect psychiatrists go through much of the same thing as adult entertainers in terms of customers crushing on them a lot.
    Last edited by Kylea2; 06-07-2011 at 08:27 PM.
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    Senior Member Rileygrl06's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is this crush I have going a little too far?

    Thanks, guys. Yeah, its funny Kylea...I was just thinking how this must be how some of my customers feel about me, the ones that have been crushing on me and keep asking me out, lol. Pretty frustrating now that the tables are turned.

    I'm aware of transference. While him saving my life is most definitely a contributing factor to my liking him, I have been crazy about him since we first met. He's just a very brilliant man, young, attractive, and very passionate about his work. Its hard not to be attracted to him. I'm sure I'm not the only woman, ha.

    As for dropping him, thats not an option. He's become a big part of my life and he takes a lot of extra time to help me. He's probably the only doctor I know that would tell me I should be a stripper, haha. He wants me to use it to pay for med school. He really believes I can do it...no one else seems to think so. I'm a big girl, I'm not a little high schooler anymore. I can control my feelings even if it hurts a little. I would never dream of overstepping boundaries as I know it could cost him his license. I have the upmost respect for him.

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