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Thread: insecurity ; /

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    Veteran Member hf487's Avatar
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    WWW insecurity ; /

    Ok so i am a confident girl! Been skinny all my life but just recently gained about 10 lbs and i love it ive got booty to go along with the boobies i bought a few years ago and some hips! I have always loved and admired curvy women and now i've finally got it!
    So my new BF of almost one year is into the whole big tits, tight ass thing right which is annoying to me because its not what i am I've got fricken curves now that i want to show them ofF! I do want to work out though just to get tightened back up and get rid of some cellulite.... Weelll.... It's just weird to me to be with someone who doesnt desire me because i love my body now (minus the cellulite) and i know he loves me and tells me how good i look all the time but this is the kind of guy who will tell me those things to keep me happy is the way i feel! This really isnt that big a deal because looks arent everything. But me and him work out together and i honestly think his ideal girl is alot different looking than the way i look and i dont like that because i like the way i look and why should i be with someone who isnt the most excited about it? Also he has made it known that he didnt fall for me for my looks we were friends before that basically saying im not usually his type of girl.... He's very sexual and im not jealous at all. i dont care if he checks chicks out, hell ive even wanted to bring another girl into it. but they more i think about it, it bothers me that my man isnt that into my body.... and now when he says someone is hott im like damn wish u thought the same of me..... should i care?! what do u think?
    I may sound vain but this is not the case just that i have been skinny all my life and made fun of for being "too" skinny and i would like my man to appreciate my curves...
    Thanks girls just wanted to vent![/SIZE][/SIZE]
    opinions would be awesome

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    God/dess Trem's Avatar
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    Default Re: insecurity ; /

    Is that you in your avatar? i love booty, booties are great!
    "Well done. Here are the test results: You are a horrible person. I'm serious, that's what it says: 'A horrible person.' We weren't even testing for that."

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    Veteran Member hf487's Avatar
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    Default Re: insecurity ; /

    yes my booty lol

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    God/dess Trem's Avatar
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    Default Re: insecurity ; /

    Wow, you seriously have nothing to be insecure about.
    "Well done. Here are the test results: You are a horrible person. I'm serious, that's what it says: 'A horrible person.' We weren't even testing for that."

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    God/dess lestat1's Avatar
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    Default Re: insecurity ; /

    Your avatar looks gorgeous! I can't believe we're discussing 10lbs. I gain/lose that much in a week or two. Heck, I can go up or down 4lbs from a big meal or a nice poop. 10lbs. Like 10lbs makes you curvy. You're skinny. You're happy with your body when so many people aren't, so just enjoy it. Good grief!
    Quote Originally Posted by _Avery_ View Post
    omg, why is it so huge?!! lol lol

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    Default Re: insecurity ; /

    I can relate. I am back to the size I was when I met my bf. But when I met him I was in the middle of a continued weight loss)he forgets I weighed about this amount when I met him). I ate less and less and got down to 125 during the course of us initially getting together. 125 is hard for me to manage..It didnt last very long...I am between 131-133 now. I dont like this weight but anything less involves some level of starvation or deprivation. It is hard bc my bf always makes comments about my weight bc he knows Im not happy with it most days..He even asked me y I didnt try some weight loss pills like hydroxycut etc....So idk I feel fat with this extra 6-8 pounds I put back on and I feel insecure about it most days too..I feel like other women catch his eye too..Its hard to feel secure when ur stressed--have alot on ur mind such as in my case, and u feel like ur bf would be happier if u were skinnier too. Its so hard when u feel ur bf "prefers" another body type. WIsh I could offer a solution. There is entirely too much scrutiny put on us in this industry hate it. I can only imagine how the women who r really fat much feel like if we r stressing over an extra 8 or 10 pounds... We r stressed bc we r supposed to fit into this super hot dancer skinny fantasy and its unnatural.

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    Default Re: insecurity ; /

    ps to the OP--imagine being an older dancer and having a younger bf its even harder then..WHen I know theres plenty of hot 21 yr olds that dont have loose triceps even w working out btw or cellulite its hard..

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    God/dess sammii's Avatar
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    Default Re: insecurity ; /

    I'm in the same situation. When I met my boyfriend, I was miss skinny minnie. I've gained some weight, but I'm not overweight by any means. A lot of people consider me skinny still, but I have curves, like an ass and boobs. My boyfriend always hints that he liked my body better before. I have to struggle to get my size XS and S clothes on ... most of them don't fit anymore. I only have 2 pair of jeans that fit me and they're snug. I'm okay with my facial appearance for the most part, but I have a lot of hatred toward my body. I wish I could love my curves like you do! It shouldn't matter what your boyfriend thinks because it's your body, not his. There are plenty of guys out there that love curvey girls.

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    Senior Member NikoWhite's Avatar
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    Default Re: insecurity ; /

    Well if thats your ass in the avatar... Verrry nice!!! Lol. Ive never ever had an ass. I have flat pancakes lol. I dont think anyone can have the entire package for their man. Every body type is different. But im sure every inch of you is beautiful and he sees that.. Because hes with you and proud to show you off.
    My man loves big tits.. I dont have those either haha. But i just joke there meant for his hand because there a perfect handful for him.
    I dont think it matters wat you have but if you flaunt it xomfortably and truely beleive youre sexy people will see that and think you are drop dead gorgeous.
    A lot of attitude affects your body. You are beautiful in every way believe it girlie!!

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    Featured Member lemiwinks31's Avatar
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    Default Re: insecurity ; /

    "i know he loves me and tells me how good i look all the time"



    It sounds like you are just imagining a problem. He obviously loves the whole package that is you. "Types" are so overrated for most people......If I had to nail down the specific 'look' that i find the most attractive, it would probably include some traits that my wife doesnt have. But that doesnt matter, because there is no one that i find more attractive or i would rather sleep with than her.

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    Default Re: insecurity ; /

    Quote Originally Posted by sammii View Post
    My boyfriend always hints that he liked my body better before. .... There are plenty of guys out there that love curvey girls.
    Yes, yes there are. I bet there are even some in your town.

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    Veteran Member lfr's Avatar
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    Default Re: insecurity ; /

    Quote Originally Posted by hf487 View Post
    Also he has made it known that he didnt fall for me for my looks we were friends before that basically saying im not usually his type of girl....
    ....
    should i care?! what do u think?
    don't feel insecure at all. this is HIS thing, it's not about you. I have to be honest and say things don't sound good, but for the time being, you should be more secure in yourself and forget about what he tells you. He sounds, 'wandery'. It doesn't matter if you are very good looking or 'not his type'. To a guy his age (I'm assuming), that could mean as little as, you don't have the right hair length or something. So, it's not about you.

    He could be one of those guys, who gets a girl, then immediately loses interest in them b/c he is already with them. Me, I'd stop working out with him, get on with my own life and prepare to be independent, as this person obviously is not ready for a commited relationship, if that's what you want.

    THIS IS NOTHING ABOUT YOU. Some guys just don't appreciate what they have. Be confident and secure in yourself and try picking out his faults if that makes you feel better. Good luck.
    I wish I knew what I was doing...

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    Default Re: insecurity ; /

    My ex had a thing for ridiculously, anorexic skinny girls...like above and beyond model heroin-chic, we're talking seriously, seriously unhealthily skinny. And I do NOT have that type of figure...my measurements when we were together were 34-25-34, and he hated it. He never directly told me to lose weight, but he would manipulate me into eating less and "reward" me whenever I lost weight...I always knew I wasn't his type, and it really ate away at me to the point that I think gaining weight will always trouble me for the rest of my life. I think he let me know I wasn't his "type" as a way to control me and lower my self-esteem so I would feel grateful to him...if he really genuinely wanted to be with me, why did he feel the need to let me know how he was so much more attracted to other girls?

    I think your boyfriend's attitude can seriously mess with your longterm self-esteem, and I would advise you to seriously evaluate your relationship with him.

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    Default Re: insecurity ; /

    Since your bf doesnt say it, I will YOURE FRICKIN HAWT!!!! I just wanna creeo up behind ya and smak your badonkadonk! LOL seriously, nice body, dont stress!

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    Default Re: insecurity ; /

    first of all, your body is delicious and if we were in the same geographical area, i would be trying to date you.

    ladies, stop dating people who do anything aside from enrich your life! the ONLY reason a man would try to decrease your love for yourself is because he NEEDS your self-esteem to be low in order to feel good about himself.

    *is willing to relocate*

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    Default Re: insecurity ; /

    [quote=camille27;2140396] the ONLY reason a man would try to decrease your love for yourself is because he NEEDS your self-esteem to be low in order to feel good about himself.


    That is what I think about my bf. He thinks my self esteem is higher than his. Im not sure about that one. Yes, and no....Perhaps mine is...But mine isnt as high as it should be bc I want to lose 6-8 pounds.

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