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Thread: Covering for a Cheating "friend"

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    Featured Member Amy Lee's Avatar
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    Default Covering for a Cheating "friend"

    Have any of you ever covered for a friend that was cheating on their significant other, married or not?

    An associate of mine asked me to cover for her (only is asked) about a specific event and I was like cool. It's none of my business, even though I know she was probally somewhere fucking and cheating on her husband...again.

    Needless to say I met her for drinks later on and she brought her husband and we were all just having a good time in the bar with other people....and I forgot all about that cover-up.

    We haven't seen eachother for a while, so while we were drinking and having fun, I asked "So what have you been up to girl, I haven't seen you in forever?!?" smiling wide. And she gave me the dirtiest look in the world and it took me about 30 seconds to realize.

    I never do this, so it's not something I am used to. I knew of her cheating in the past, but as I said she is an associate, not a friend and I don't feel that I am at fault. People need to handle their own relationships....it was an innocent mistake...and I won't be doing that again.

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    God/dess DesuvsDeath's Avatar
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    Default Re: Covering for a Cheating "friend"

    She shouldn't have put you in that position to begin with. Her own fault.

    I would never have covered there.
    Quote Originally Posted by camille27 View Post
    i am losing my fucking mind and i really just want this chloroform dream because i think that would just get me right with jesus.

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    Default Re: Covering for a Cheating "friend"

    I never have done, and never will do. Infidelity - whether you're married or not - is just 'not on'.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    "Good Girls keep diaries....Bad Girls don't have the time..!!"

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    Default Re: Covering for a Cheating "friend"

    I've had that. A couple of years ago a friend cheated on her bf with her ex. Now I knew her bf a lot longer than her so when he called to ask if it was true I said yes. Then she called and asked me to tell him I was wrong and had misunderstood why she had this hickey-like mark on her neck. So I called him to say I'd been mistaken and had been drinking that day so what I had assumed about the evidence was probably wrong.

    2 years later I get an email from her giving me the heads up that the past has been dug up and her bf has kicked her and their 5month old baby out the house. She asks me not to say anything. I also have an email from her bf asking for a number to call me on to talk.

    Ffs! This is none of my business. The guy has been a friend for longer, but the girl and I were closer (until she screwed me over and I saw her for the lying cheating whore that she is). And they have a friggin baby together!! It just pisses me off that after all this time she still expects me to lie to a friend about her wrongdoings.

    Not. My. Business!!!!!!

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    God/dess BlkSharpie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Covering for a Cheating "friend"

    No way. I dont even want to know about it.

    All my friends know how burnt I am from being cheated on, and none in their right mind would tell me, cause I would flip out on them, forget about cover for them...

    ETA: In any case, about your situation, your friend has no grounds to flash you a dirty look....she needs to flash her own self a dirty look for putting herself in that situation. Whatever happens, she has only herself to blame, and as a friend, she shouldnt bring you into it and put the burden of her secrets onto you.

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    Featured Member Amy Lee's Avatar
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    Default Re: Covering for a Cheating "friend"

    Quote Originally Posted by BlkSharpie View Post
    No way. I dont even want to know about it.

    All my friends know how burnt I am from being cheated on, and none in their right mind would tell me, cause I would flip out on them, forget about cover for them...

    ETA: In any case, about your situation, your friend has no grounds to flash you a dirty look....she needs to flash her own self a dirty look for putting herself in that situation. Whatever happens, she has only herself to blame, and as a friend, she shouldnt bring you into it and put the burden of her secrets onto you.
    You are right!! Any even worse doll, she isn't even my friend, just a woman I go out with every now and then to have drinks with. I am just so done...I am not a cheater in my own life. The way I saw it was I am just cool and staying out of it, but by saying I would cover for her, that would of actually put me in it. I'm done with her.

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    Default Re: Covering for a Cheating "friend"

    I've covered for friends before.
    "You can close your eyes to reality but not to memories -Stainslaw J. Lec

    Confuscius say: "Man who pull bra stap get bust in face"


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    Default Re: Covering for a Cheating "friend"

    oh dear lord, i have had so many male friends who slept with so many girls behind their 'significant' others back that it is the norm for me.

    i guess the whole 'bros before hos' thing. idk, i think it comes from having mostly male friends who like to party hard. i would also expect these same friends to cover for me.

    cheating doesnt phase me much.
    The best thing i have heard in a strip club to date:
    customer: we should get married right now! we should get a shotgun marriage!
    me: uhh... i think you are misunderstanding what a shotgun marriage means. A shotgun marriage means you knock me up and my daddy shows up at your door with a gun and forces you to marry me and raise the baby. You mean elope.
    customer: hmm... nah actually i will take the shotgun marriage. At least then we would be having sex.


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    Default Re: Covering for a Cheating "friend"

    ^Idk I look at it from the perspective of "If I were the one being cheated on, I'd want to know the truth".
    Quote Originally Posted by camille27 View Post
    i am losing my fucking mind and i really just want this chloroform dream because i think that would just get me right with jesus.

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    Default Re: Covering for a Cheating "friend"

    Yeah..its one thing to be in an open relationship...

    ...quite another when the partner is totally unaware that they are in one.

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    Default Re: Covering for a Cheating "friend"

    Quote Originally Posted by DesuvsDeath View Post
    ^Idk I look at it from the perspective of "If I were the one being cheated on, I'd want to know the truth".
    however, when it comes to my friends, i am willing to overlook a lot of faults. good people do bad things. a person can cheat on their SO and in many other ways be a good people. things are more complex than good person bad person most of the time.

    part of the perks of having friends is you have people to confide in and people who will stand by you even when you fuck up. if i had a friend who was cheating and they confided in me, then i would do my best not to violate their trust. IMO, its just part of having eachothers backs. my friends are the ones i turn to when i am in trouble and my friends usually outlast my SOs. its also the reverse in their situations. so therefore my priority is my friends trust before letting his SO who i dont know as well know that he is sleeping with other women.

    also, for the record, i am assuming in this situation the friend is the one cheating and the SO of the friend is merely an acquaintance. if both were friends, shit gets more complicated.
    The best thing i have heard in a strip club to date:
    customer: we should get married right now! we should get a shotgun marriage!
    me: uhh... i think you are misunderstanding what a shotgun marriage means. A shotgun marriage means you knock me up and my daddy shows up at your door with a gun and forces you to marry me and raise the baby. You mean elope.
    customer: hmm... nah actually i will take the shotgun marriage. At least then we would be having sex.


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    Default Re: Covering for a Cheating "friend"

    I would cover for a close friend. I would ask if they've really thought about what they are about to do and the consequences. Then I'd drop it.

    What my best friend does in her marriage is her business and i'd never rat her out. She's my best friend, not the spouse.

    Thankfully I've never been in that position and doubt I ever will.
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    Default Re: Covering for a Cheating "friend"

    I don't think I'd go out of my way to tell the SO my friend was cheating,unless the SO was also a really close friend... even then, it's iffy... In my experience, most people won't even believe you if you tell them their bf/gf is cheating on them and think you're just out to stir up trouble and you get screwed. I know people aren't perfect and make mistakes so if a friend just needed me to keep my mouth shut, I probably could. But you shouldn't have to specifically lie/cover for them and make up stories about how they were with you. It's your friend's own damn fault that she got caught - not yours. She should have either kept it in her pants or come up with her own cover story that didn't involve other people. It's not your responsibility to make sure she doesn't get fucked over from her own bullshit actions.

    Plus there's a difference between just confiding in a friend and saying "oh man, I fucked up, please don't tell" and asking them to cover while you go continue to do something you know you shouldn't be doing. You're not just "making a mistake" if you clearly feel no remorse. Confiding a mistake is one thing - doing it consistently and expecting other people to want to cover your ass is something completely different.

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    Default Re: Covering for a Cheating "friend"

    You should watch that Vince Vaghn, Wynona Rider movie called Dilemma. Speaks of almost exactly your situation.
    "Where there is love there is life"-Mahatma Gandhi

    "Be The Best, F!ck The Rest"- P.P.


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    Default Re: Covering for a Cheating "friend"

    I've covered for my brother, and I've covered for a few close friends. It usually depends on how much I like the person being cheated on. I highly dislike my brother's SO, so whatever. But if I liked her, even though I would still cover his ass, I would encourage him not to do it.

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    Default Re: Covering for a Cheating "friend"

    Depends on the person. Most of my friends are guys as well, and they girls they date know they are all players. Even the chick who got married knew what it was. If your mom tells you that your husband is who he is and that she's known him for years so be prepared for what you're getting into because he isn't likely to change I can't feel guilty about being the excuse. Your mom told you and you married him anyway. Can't be mad about it now. But, I won't lie for someone who is not my friend. I will let myself be the excuse for a friend almost without hesitation. I'm a state away now and still get the occasional I'm with you text.
    Thank Goodness I smartened up! The old me is dead and gone.

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    Featured Member Amy Lee's Avatar
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    Default Re: Covering for a Cheating "friend"

    Quote Originally Posted by kikiwiki View Post
    You should watch that Vince Vaghn, Wynona Rider movie called Dilemma. Speaks of almost exactly your situation.

    It isn't a dilemma now. I was just curious to see what other people's stories were. I know the movie you are talking about too.
    I am good, I just think when people are cheating, they should cover themselves and not ask their associates to do so because people forget and it's not their problem anyway.

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    Default Re: Covering for a Cheating "friend"

    I had a male friend who would cheat on his girlfriend all the time. when I told him he should tell her he would get pissed and tell me not to "blow up his spot". I guess in this case it's not really your secret to tell.

    I would cover for your friend knowing that eventually it's going to eat her up inside. the fact that she cheated and on top of that she dragged you into it and made you lie to one of your friends. unless she's a heartless bitch in which case she'll get hers eventually.

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    Default Re: Covering for a Cheating "friend"

    this is not even about morality or the subject of cheating its self....its about you making someone elses problems yours. its like holding a gun for someone who just shot and killed someone.

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    Default Re: Covering for a Cheating "friend"

    A true friend would never put me in that position. I wouldn't cover. I might not be bffs with my friend's spouse but he/she is still a person and has feelings like the rest of us.

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    Featured Member Amy Lee's Avatar
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    Default Re: Covering for a Cheating "friend"

    I am done with it and her....

    ...but she is still doing it, I guess cheaters get caught eventually...not my business anymore and I don't give a fuck. I will NEVER try to be nice and cover for anyone.

    I have never seen a married woman whore herself around so much! There has to be a world record for this one...SMDH.

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    Default Re: Covering for a Cheating "friend"

    I covered for friends on other things and disliked lying to their SO I don't think I could cover if they were cheating
    I don't like knowing anything you don't want me to say to your SO that way I can honestly say I don't know anything

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