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Thread: Do you get depressed when you dont see your SO?

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    God/dess Kisca's Avatar
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    Default dleted now

    deleted now
    Last edited by Kisca; 06-13-2011 at 10:14 PM.

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    God/dess Athenathefabulous's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you get depressed when you dont see your SO?

    i stand by my previous advice that you should really focus on making yourself happy before dating. you are depending on one person to complete you, which is not good. being sad as soon as he is out of sight because he is doing things that dont involve you (innocent things, not even cheating) is pretty high on the codependency chart. focus on other things that make you happy besides this guy, who seemed a little questionable from your other thread.
    The best thing i have heard in a strip club to date:
    customer: we should get married right now! we should get a shotgun marriage!
    me: uhh... i think you are misunderstanding what a shotgun marriage means. A shotgun marriage means you knock me up and my daddy shows up at your door with a gun and forces you to marry me and raise the baby. You mean elope.
    customer: hmm... nah actually i will take the shotgun marriage. At least then we would be having sex.


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    Default Re: Do you get depressed when you dont see your SO?

    You need to get therapy to understand your feelings, or do some reading/investigating yourself.

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    Default Re: Do you get depressed when you dont see your SO?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kisca View Post
    Yeah, Im really considering of finding a therapists... I just feel weird talking about my problems, or my life to some stranger...

    Trust me. If you find the RIGHT person it will help. Not all therapists are the same so YOU are the one who can decide if it's beneficial to you.

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    God/dess 4everresolutions's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you get depressed when you dont see your SO?

    ^Go renew your health card. You need to talk to someone. It will make you feel so much better.

    I'm not trying to call you out or anything babe, but look back on your posts here and your life in general for the last year. Your depression is pretty cyclic. You go through periods where you're alright, and other times when you're so sad and anxious. Talking to a therapist could help you figure out why this is. And it will make you feel SO much better.

    That roommate STILL hasn't moved in? Weird chick. But you need to focus on you now, and making yourself healthy and whole. XOXO!



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    Default Re: Do you get depressed when you dont see your SO?

    Quote Originally Posted by 4everresolutions View Post

    I'm not trying to call you out or anything babe, but look back on your posts here and your life in general for the last year. Your depression is pretty cyclic. You go through periods where you're alright, and other times when you're so sad and anxious. Talking to a therapist could
    I noticed this too. Her previous posts are always about getting too attached to some guy in a very short period of time. No offense but it's either a mental health issue or you're just super needy and clingy. That is enough to scare any man away.

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    Default Re: Do you get depressed when you dont see your SO?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kisca View Post
    Are you sure your talking about the right person?
    I'm sure. I don't have time to go through your posts now but maybe later on I'll post links.
    Last edited by TouringGirlfriend; 06-07-2011 at 03:32 PM.

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    God/dess 4everresolutions's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you get depressed when you dont see your SO?

    Quote Originally Posted by TouringGirlfriend View Post
    I noticed this too. Her previous posts are always about getting too attached to some guy in a very short period of time. No offense but it's either a mental health issue or you're just super needy and clingy. That is enough to scare any man away.
    Quote Originally Posted by Kisca View Post
    Are you sure your talking about the right person? Ive been with 1 guy for 3 years since recently where I moved out. I have been on dates with others, but never got attached... as I didnt like them. I may get clingy at times, but I dont try to, I was always like this.
    Kisca's really not clingy at all - we've known each other IRL. She has standards and sticks to them, but when she finds someone she likes she's very invested. I guess maybe that doesn't come through online the same?

    I think the eagerness to settle down with a man isn't about you being clingy. I think it's about wanting stability (which you don't have a whole lot of right now with the break-up of a long-term bf and moving out on your own for the first time). It could be manifesting itself in ways that's making you depressed/lonely/anxious.

    Keep your chin up babe, this too will pass.



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    Moderator Aurora_Sunset's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you get depressed when you dont see your SO?

    I don't think it's unreasonable to miss your SO after you leave him - especially right after. But to the point of crying? I agree there are larger issues there. I also agree that you need to love yourself and have your own life before you think you can love someone else and add them to your life. Work on yourself and soon you won't miss him so badly.

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    Default Re: Do you get depressed when you dont see your SO?

    I agree with some of the other girls... Im miss my SO when Im away from him... heck I miss my dogs when Im only out for the day! Crying is probably a little excessive but maybe you are just hormonal or the fact that you are lonely at home is amplifying it. I think the best medicine is picking up some hobbies. Fitness, dance classes, art classes, think about school or even volunteering.

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    Veteran Member So Fine Divyne's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you get depressed when you dont see your SO?

    NO! I revel in the times like now when he is at work. I'm supposed to be going in at 11am and I want to stay home and enjoy the house/dog without him. I actually think I am going to stay home until he gets off. However, when he gets off work I am flying through the house getting ready for work so I can leave. We talked about it and while we enjoy each other, the down time when the other partner works keeps us sane. We reasoned it is because of the periods of multiple days when we are both off and home all day/all nite. I'm a loner and it's really weird having someone else around every time I move.
    Thank Goodness I smartened up! The old me is dead and gone.

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    Featured Member tampadancer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you get depressed when you dont see your SO?

    You mentioned anti-depressants helping you in the past - are you still on them? And what are/were you taking? If you quit, how long ago?

    I ask because I think this could be a big part of the equation. I definitely don't think your extreme sense of loneliness and sadness in the absence of your SO is normal. It's one thing to miss them, but another to experience what you are going through. I recently tried to go off of Wellbutrin and found myself experiencing extreme sadness and loneliness (and I generally am a very upbeat person who loves solitude) - so I went back on it.

    Just wondering if the anti-d's could be the culprit...

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    Featured Member tampadancer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you get depressed when you dont see your SO?

    What made you stop taking them? How did you feel on them?

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    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you get depressed when you dont see your SO?

    Quote Originally Posted by Athenathefabulous View Post
    i stand by my previous advice that you should really focus on making yourself happy before dating. you are depending on one person to complete you, which is not good. being sad as soon as he is out of sight because he is doing things that dont involve you (innocent things, not even cheating) is pretty high on the codependency chart. focus on other things that make you happy besides this guy, who seemed a little questionable from your other thread.
    Couldn't have said it better myself.

    Kisca, you owe it to yourself--stop relying on other people for your sense of self worth. Because you are worth more than any of them.
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

    ______________________________________

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    Default Re: Do you get depressed when you dont see your SO?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kisca View Post
    I feel better after I got back hopefully things work out this way. It just makes me feel odd.. or sick in the head thinking Im not normal need to be on drugs to be normal in society.
    I struggle with this too... I hate feeling like I have to depend on a little white pill to keep me happy and normal. But I hate the alternative more...

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    Default Re: Do you get depressed when you dont see your SO?

    ^^ It depends. If you think stripping is a part of your depression, or if there are things about it you need to get out of your system, then definitely tell the therapist. Years ago when I was seeing a therapist, I told her...because it was relevant to some things I was going through at the time. However, the psychiatrist that has been prescribing me wellbutrin for the last five years doesn't know - to me, he's just there to write the script... no talk therapy of any kind takes place, really.

    eta- Good job on taking the initiative to make an appointment. I know it's hard. Hang in there girl!
    Last edited by tampadancer; 06-09-2011 at 08:46 AM. Reason: eta

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    Featured Member lemiwinks31's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you get depressed when you dont see your SO?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kisca View Post
    So the hospital called and booked me a therapy appointment on Monday, Im happy to say Im actually doing something about this.

    Do I tell the therapists that Im a stripper? ....... Or that something I keep quiet? I dont like talking about anything personal.....

    talk about everything. its a safe environment, its confidential. A therapist is not going to judge, they are going to try to figure out how to help you. Try to get a female therapist if that would make you more comfortable.

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    Veteran Member pink_bunny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you get depressed when you dont see your SO?

    In addition to the above posts, maybe you could get a cat/or kitten? You won't feel as lonley and will take the focus off yourself and something else to care for. Can be helpful in a empty house when you're alone .
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8cuHcJMyRg
    (smeagol cat hug video)

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    Default Re: Do you get depressed when you dont see your SO?

    Edited for Kisca's Privacy.

    I proud of you for taking this step!
    Last edited by 4everresolutions; 06-14-2011 at 08:47 AM.



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    Featured Member lemiwinks31's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you get depressed when you dont see your SO?

    Quote Originally Posted by 4everresolutions View Post

    I proud of you for taking this step!

    yes...

    congrats on taking control.

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    Default Re: Do you get depressed when you dont see your SO?

    Therapy is amazing if you have a good therapist. Good luck.. and the more you talk about the better you will feel.

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    Default Re: Do you get depressed when you dont see your SO?

    you've been together for a WEEK and you get depressed when he's not around? whatever you do, do NOT tell him that otherwise you're gonna lose him in a snap.

    I second going to therapy and keep yourself busy.

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    Default Re: Do you get depressed when you dont see your SO?

    ^not trying to sound rude, but 2 months still isn't enough time to place that much importance on a person. I hope everything works out for you.

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    Moderator unbeleavable's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you get depressed when you dont see your SO?

    ^^What does time have to do with how much a person means to you? Placing a high value on someone can be done in weeks if the people are real with their emotion & share it.

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    Default Re: Do you get depressed when you dont see your SO?

    Quote Originally Posted by unbeleavable View Post
    ^^What does time have to do with how much a person means to you? Placing a high value on someone can be done in weeks if the people are real with their emotion & share it.
    people lie.

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