(snip)When it comes to our net worth, most of us feel that we never quite measure up. Thinking about how much we have accumulated as proof of our value is a painful experience. In our culture, our wealth is the ultimate measure of who we are. We have become defined by it. Those who have little net worth feel a corresponding lack of self-worth. But they are not alone. Many of my clients who have a high net worth also experience similar feelings of low self-esteem. The difference is that although they have plenty of money, they often do not feel worthy of it. They appear to have everything, and yet they feel they are nothing.
I believe this lack of self-esteem is caused by a profound spiritual bankruptcy that is so prevalent in our culture. Having lived a life in pursuit of money and material gain, we have often neglected the self and its inherent longing for spiritual connection. As human beings, we alone have this need. I do not believe this need is simply evolution at work. Rather, it was intended that we value and nurture this dimension of our self above and beyond all else. Without this connection to the self, our true worth is diminished, and life becomes an endless search for substitutes to fill the void.(snip)
Here's more.(snip)
Attractive, intelligent, and rich, Ellen easily attracted men. The problem was that over the years Ellen had built a fortress around herself, and no one ever really got in. She was not able to trust anyone enough to be truly intimate. With her therapist's help, she was able to work through her feelings about the abuse she suffered as a child and the pain and anger she felt toward her parents. However, the money issues continued to interfere in her relationships. There was still something she needed to understand that was getting in the way of her happiness.
As we looked at Ellen's past and tried to pull together the pieces, we found that the only time she could ever remember feeling safe was right after her father brought home a paycheck. Because for a while, when there was money, her family was happy, and the abuse would stop. Although Ellen had forgotten this, the memory embedded in her subconscious was played out in her daily life. Ellen spent most of her time working and knew she was a workaholic, but she always said it was because she liked her work. Her workaholism was one of the major problems in her relationships. The other was that although Ellen had a lot of money, she was frugal beyond belief. She didn't enjoy spending her money, and she wasn't good at sharing it. Ellen was a mixture of the Warrior and Tyrant money types.
In looking at her relationships, Ellen began to see how she had pushed the men in her life away even though they had truly loved her. Although neither of the men she had married had as much money as she did, they were successful in their own right. That was the other missing link. Since she was more successful than they and money was her safety net, subconsciously she could not stop working so hard because in her mind her husbands weren't financially reliable. They might not bring in that paycheck, and then what would happen? That left everything up to her, and subconsciously she felt betrayed, and so she sabotaged her relationships.(snip)
Very interesting article about net worth and self worth.
http://www.grandtimes.com/Redefining.html



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