View Poll Results: Is it OK to flirt with other people when you're dating someone else?

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  • Yes, of course! We all do it.

    25 52.08%
  • No, never! It's disrespectful.

    13 27.08%
  • Depends on how serious it's getting.

    10 20.83%
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Thread: Flirting with other people when you're "seeing" someone

  1. #1
    God/dess seashell's Avatar
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    Default Flirting with other people when you're "seeing" someone

    Please don't judge me for posting this! *hides in a corner* I'm just curious what you girls think.

    Is it okay to flirt with other people when you're dating someone but you're NOT officially in a relationship? What if you ARE in a relationship?

    Do you think it's disrespectful? Or is it just human nature?

    Vote & share your thoughts!
    Last edited by seashell; 06-14-2011 at 02:39 PM.

  2. #2
    God/dess Athenathefabulous's Avatar
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    Default Re: Flirting with other people when you're "seeing" someone

    id say yes. we all do it. esp considering our job is to flirt...
    The best thing i have heard in a strip club to date:
    customer: we should get married right now! we should get a shotgun marriage!
    me: uhh... i think you are misunderstanding what a shotgun marriage means. A shotgun marriage means you knock me up and my daddy shows up at your door with a gun and forces you to marry me and raise the baby. You mean elope.
    customer: hmm... nah actually i will take the shotgun marriage. At least then we would be having sex.


  3. #3
    Veteran Member UV69's Avatar
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    Default Re: Flirting with other people when you're "seeing" someone

    I'm a flirt & it depends on the feelings of who I'm dating & our rules, but I'm always going to be a flirt on some level so my intentions behind it are innocent when I'm out with some1 cuz serious or not obviously I'm out w/them & I'm not going to hook up w/ the next in front of them or anything like that. Unless I completely don't care about things leading into anything more serious or if we have discussed having an open relationship cuz then I'm completely shameless.
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    Moderator Aurora_Sunset's Avatar
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    Default Re: Flirting with other people when you're "seeing" someone

    Even if in an official relationship, I don't think there's anything wrong with a little harmless flirting to have some fun and boost your ego - you know you're not going home with them and as long as you aren't doing it in front of your SO, who gets hurt? But, especially if you're just dating someone but not official yet, I see absolutely nothing wrong with flirting with other people. Until you're exclusive, you're free to do what you want.

  5. #5
    God/dess laurielegs's Avatar
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    Default Re: Flirting with other people when you're "seeing" someone

    Quote Originally Posted by Athenathefabulous View Post
    id say yes. we all do it. esp considering our job is to flirt...
    I wasn't considering what I do in my job. These guys have to pay me to "flirt" and it's all completely fake. The second the money stops so does the fake fllirting.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Flirting with other people when you're "seeing" someone

    Outside of work, no, never. I feel like there should be a sign over my head that reads 'unavailable' whenever that is the case. It just feels wrong to me. When I am with someone, I am 100% with them.
    But that's just how I feel about myself. No disrespect to anyone who still fliers a bit. I don't think it's wrong, it's just to me it feels wrong.

  7. #7
    Veteran Member lfr's Avatar
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    Default Re: Flirting with other people when you're "seeing" someone

    sry, I'm no girl, but just to chime in, I think these things focus on the wrong aspect of it all, and that, being the intention to flirt.

    Flirting in and of itself is not the problem, nor should it be. It's the flirting within a relationship where problems can occur. To me, the flirting can be any degree of seriousness, BUT it's how the other person feels about it. The, possible, SO.

    Assuming you are in a committed, monogamous, relationship and they are 'normal', well, then, the flirting should probably not cross some boundaries. If a person is a little jealous or they are indifferent to flirting behaviour then that too, can scale where one's flirting can be.

    I think if you respect and love someone, then you should at least be able to try and make them comfy with how you handle yourself. Other than that, it's up to you and them, obviously.
    I wish I knew what I was doing...

  8. #8
    God/dess seashell's Avatar
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    Default Re: Flirting with other people when you're "seeing" someone

    Interesting... this is pretty divided!

    I guess flirting is sort of a gray area. It's not cheating, but it's not always innocent.

    I'd love to hear more from mens' perspectives!

  9. #9
    God/dess Athenathefabulous's Avatar
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    Default Re: Flirting with other people when you're "seeing" someone

    Quote Originally Posted by laurielegs View Post
    I wasn't considering what I do in my job. These guys have to pay me to "flirt" and it's all completely fake. The second the money stops so does the fake fllirting.
    idk... im one of the few people on this board probably who thinks that it is totally out of line to get mad at an SO who flirts if you strip.

    same with escorting... if i was an escort, i dont think it would be my place to tell my SO to abstain from (casual, no emotional attachment) sex with other women. regardless of whether it is just a job or not.
    The best thing i have heard in a strip club to date:
    customer: we should get married right now! we should get a shotgun marriage!
    me: uhh... i think you are misunderstanding what a shotgun marriage means. A shotgun marriage means you knock me up and my daddy shows up at your door with a gun and forces you to marry me and raise the baby. You mean elope.
    customer: hmm... nah actually i will take the shotgun marriage. At least then we would be having sex.


  10. #10
    God/dess Kisca's Avatar
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    Default Re: Flirting with other people when you're "seeing" someone

    Im ok with flirting. The guy Im seeing now is a friendly guy who flirts without even trying. He doesnt get their number but just jokes around and says random things. I dont mind that as I know how he will react if a girl will try to put herself on him. Im not a flirt, but will joke around until the guy starts putting strong moves on me, then I stop it. Generally, Im against strong flirting when the relationship is serious and the flirting is on purpose. Flirting will happen at work, in public - anywhere, there has to be a line to know whether its just friendly to sexually.

  11. #11
    God/dess Jay12's Avatar
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    Default Re: Flirting with other people when you're "seeing" someone

    Flirting just for the sake is ok; we all do it at some point.

    However, when physical contact comes into the picture, that's where I stop it (since I'm with somebody else).





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  13. #12
    God/dess JayATee's Avatar
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    Default Re: Flirting with other people when you're "seeing" someone

    Quote Originally Posted by Athenathefabulous View Post
    idk... im one of the few people on this board probably who thinks that it is totally out of line to get mad at an SO who flirts if you strip.

    same with escorting... if i was an escort, i dont think it would be my place to tell my SO to abstain from (casual, no emotional attachment) sex with other women. regardless of whether it is just a job or not.
    You're not alone in your opinion. I would have said the exact same thing had you not beaten me to it.
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  15. #13
    God/dess Trem's Avatar
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    Default Re: Flirting with other people when you're "seeing" someone

    There is nothing more annoying than a chick who flirts with you non stop then tells you she has a boyfriend.
    "Well done. Here are the test results: You are a horrible person. I'm serious, that's what it says: 'A horrible person.' We weren't even testing for that."

  16. #14
    Banned SessyGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: Flirting with other people when you're "seeing" someone

    I don't think it's a big deal as long as it's innocent. I saw on the news where it's good to check out the opposite sex. Actually helps your relationship.

  17. #15
    God/dess BlkSharpie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Flirting with other people when you're "seeing" someone

    Im a natural flirt...Ill flirt with any and everyone, but I was always quick to let guys know I had a bf, and even now that Im single, I still say I have a bf, cause 90% of the time Im not interested, but I like the banter that goes with flirting.

    My ex didnt mind it either...he knows me, when I actually really do like someone, as in when I met him...Im too nervous to be flirty...I think me being quiet or at a loss for words would have had him more concerned than me being flirty...I guess I just let go of my defenses cause Im not worried about coming off goofy or saying the wrong thing.

    Hrmm..I think I just tapped into why Im having trouble meeting guys I like and keep meeting guys I dont like

  18. #16
    God/dess Vyanka's Avatar
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    Default Re: Flirting with other people when you're "seeing" someone

    In real life, i'm not a flirt. I am shy as fuck. I ONLY flirt at work(which is fake anyway, i'm acting for money) or if i'm out buzzed(i'm less shy that way).

    If I had a serious BF, I can't flirt. It's just not in me. I feel like i'd be disrespecting him. That's just me.

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  20. #17
    Featured Member lemiwinks31's Avatar
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    Default Re: Flirting with other people when you're "seeing" someone

    I think flirting itself is innocent and i have no problem with it. If it leads to anything physical, then its not flirting anymore...its cheating. So flirting? I'm fine with my wife doing it and i would guess she would be fine with me doing it.

    If you trust your SO, you KNOW it wont lead to anything....and if you dont trust your SO, you shouldnt be in an exclusive relationship with them.

    Its just a little ego boost to know that you can still attract someone of the opposite sex(or same sex).

    I would imagine it would be a little annoying if it was constant or habitual.

  21. #18
    God/dess BlkSharpie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Flirting with other people when you're "seeing" someone

    Ive gotta say, Ive never been with someone who is jealous in any way, and Im not jealous at all. I rather like it if I see someone checking my guy out...Im all..yeah, look as long as you can now so you can think about it later

    And for the most part, thats how a guy feels when hes with me...its an ego stroke when he knows guys are staring me down. Plus I have a knack for always getting free stuff...drinks, discounts, networking/job contacts etc... Its a mutually beneficial thing really

    The concept of jealous totally escapes me though.

    Cheating is of course a whole nother ball game. When Im with a guy, I have zero interest in anyone else. And Im a tough nut to crack, takes a lot for a guy to get to me even when I am interested, so no guy Ive ever been with has ever felt threatened by someone else having an interest in me.

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  23. #19
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    Default Re: Flirting with other people when you're "seeing" someone

    Conversation and flirting (or just being charming) are among life's precious little pleasures. Don't take it away from me! Nor do I think flirting leads, inevitably, to cheating. Flirting isn't an entry drug for fucking. I don't like jealous people, either.

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  25. #20
    God/dess seashell's Avatar
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    Default Re: Flirting with other people when you're "seeing" someone

    Adjusted the first post to include relationships as well as casual dating.

    I'm jealous of you girls who don't feel jealousy. LOL.

  26. #21
    Moderator Aurora_Sunset's Avatar
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    Default Re: Flirting with other people when you're "seeing" someone

    Quote Originally Posted by seashell View Post
    Adjusted the first post to include relationships as well as casual dating.

    I'm jealous of you girls who don't feel jealousy. LOL.
    Glad you added that, because my biggest thing about your original post was that it only talked about "seeing" someone but NOT being an actual relationship with them. To me, that should have been the biggest deciding factor in people's answers. IMO, if you're just "seeing" someone but you're not actually in an official relationship, you are free to do whatever the hell you want. Back when I was just starting to "see" my bf but we weren't official yet, hell, I was still sleeping with other guys. Of course, that immediately stopped right after I said yes to being official, but in my mind, nothing I did before that moment was inappropriate. Unless a guy is introducing me to his friends as his gf, I'm a free agent.

    I still think it's ok to harmlessly flirt (not get physical with) people after you're officially dating though - but definitely not in front of your SO. I would expect him to do the same if the opportunity presents itself when I'm not around. It's not that I don't feel jealousy - but I can keep it in check if I don't have to witness it. To me, it's not so much a feeling of being threatened by flirting, but if I'm right there, he has to ignore me to flirt with someone else, which is disrespectful and rude. If I'm not around, fine, he can boost his ego and have fun, the same as I do sometimes. At the end of the night, we end up together so I don't see the harm.

  27. #22
    God/dess lestat1's Avatar
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    Default Re: Flirting with other people when you're "seeing" someone

    Would you do this flirting if your SO were sitting right next to you? I think that's a decent litmus test for how innocent or acceptable it is.
    Quote Originally Posted by _Avery_ View Post
    omg, why is it so huge?!! lol lol

  28. #23
    Featured Member Brandi_Lynn's Avatar
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    Default Re: Flirting with other people when you're "seeing" someone

    I don't think there is anything wrong at all w/ it. Just as long as it doesn't go past flirting or your not doing it in front of them or on their friends, etc. You know, common sense.

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  30. #24
    Veteran Member girlfromipanema's Avatar
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    Default Re: Flirting with other people when you're "seeing" someone

    I don't see a reason to flirt with anyone if I'm in a relationship and not at work. I don't need to flirt with someone to know I'm still attractive to the opposite sex, and I don't need attention. Most likely, if I did flirt with someone, especially at a bar, he would probably take it as a sex invite. He would try to give me his number, I would have to turn him down, and then I would be a tease. Seems pointless. If my SO were to find out or see he would be upset, so yea it is disrespectful. I wouldn't want my SO to be flirting with girls either, but that is beyond my control. General rule of thumb I go by: if he would not like me doing it in front of his face I won't do it behind his back.

  31. #25
    Senior Member NikoWhite's Avatar
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    Default Re: Flirting with other people when you're "seeing" someone

    I feel bad im a flirty girl. Cant help it, but my guy doesn't at all. Lol feels the need to tell me any conversations hes had with girls.

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