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Thread: Working through the grieving period

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    God/dess gypsy_girlchild's Avatar
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    Default Working through the grieving period

    Hey girls, my sweetheart's grandfather died last night and I have to continue work the next few days or face a hefty fine. I have known and loved the man for 12 years and am wondering how I am going to keep the smile on for the next few nights. Has anyone been able to work through the grief without breaking down?
    I am really at a loss right now because it happened to suddenly.
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    Default Re: Working through the grieving period

    First of all, im sorry for your loss.
    Now I don't have any personal experience with this, but i do remember a retired girl coming back to work for a few weeks to distract herself after she had a miscarriage. I've also seen many girls bury themselves in their work after heavy breakups.
    I think it can be a great distraction, but you should probably explain your situation to your boss in case you find yourself having to leave early at all, and stay away from alcohol.

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    Default Re: Working through the grieving period

    Please accept my sympathy in this time of sorrow.

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    Default Re: Working through the grieving period

    First, please accept my sympathy. its so hard to lose someone you love.

    A trick that has worked for me, time and again, is to actually visualize myself leaving my problems in my car. I like to lock them in my trunk with my purse. (We dont have proper lockers) . I slam down the trunk and tell my problems, "Now you stay in there. I'll be back to pick you up later."

    This sounds stupid, but it helps me clear my mind and face the task at hand.


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    Featured Member K Sweet's Avatar
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    Default Re: Working through the grieving period

    I lost a friend a couple weeks ago and still had work so I hear you, it is very hard.

    I also locked things up, kept busy, and kept my mind off things. Then when I came home from work I would unpack my feelings again.

    Also, take time to grieve. Make a good space for it, like a few full days of no work and lots of crying. I went to my friend's funeral with a group of mutual friends and we all cried and supported each other. It helped tremendously.

    Take care of yourself and your partner, I hope you feel better soon.
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    Member Ali Chin Chin's Avatar
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    Default Re: Working through the grieving period

    Quote Originally Posted by colleen View Post
    First, please accept my sympathy. its so hard to lose someone you love.

    A trick that has worked for me, time and again, is to actually visualize myself leaving my problems in my car. I like to lock them in my trunk with my purse. (We dont have proper lockers) . I slam down the trunk and tell my problems, "Now you stay in there. I'll be back to pick you up later."

    This sounds stupid, but it helps me clear my mind and face the task at hand.
    What great advice. My stripping days are behind me, but I think I need to employ this technique now more than ever.

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    Default Re: Working through the grieving period

    I'm really sorry for your loss.

    I wish I could offer some advice...

    I went through a similar situation and was completely useless at work. My hm let me spend most of the night in the dressing room. Could you explain your situation to management and offer to make up the days?

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    Default Re: Working through the grieving period

    OP, my sympathies. I never went through that when dancing but did endure a long time live in relationship split up during the time. Honestly, dancing helped me overcome the hurt and helped me a lot.

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    Default Re: Working through the grieving period

    Quote Originally Posted by K Sweet View Post
    Also, take time to grieve. Make a good space for it, like a few full days of no work and lots of crying. I went to my friend's funeral with a group of mutual friends and we all cried and supported each other. It helped tremendously.

    Take care of yourself and your partner, I hope you feel better soon.
    The best advice! I tried to go in twice this weekend and was too exhausted to make it into the shower. I'm able to work quiet shifts that don't require a lot of energy. But, I can't be around crowds and be around a lot of girls and snarky douchebags. I can only handle quiet days right now. I told my housemom what was going on. I think you should let someone know because you may get weepy. I had to hide out a few times and recompose myself.
    “What a caterpillar calls the end of the world we call a butterfly.” - ECKHART TOLLE

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    Default Re: Working through the grieving period

    I'm sorry for the loss of your grandpa. Losing someone you love is never easy. I know it probably sounds cliche, but there is this haunting mournful emptiness i really don't think any human can ever really "handle" in a perfect manner. Its just plain sad. Grief is universal. Even elephants grieve.

    I don't know if this helps, but my mom died a little over a month ago. I literally could not go to work for at least a few weeks. The only way I got by was through some help from my friends.

    I did work though...a bit while she was in the hospital (she was in there a few weeks and i needed the money). And I can tell you one thing....pretending to be happy and flirt with customers can be so hard. I thought I could do it, but I ended up having to go home. It's hard not to break down at work. Money is just money. You are what is most important.
    You may also feel that your betraying your grandpa by being so happy at work too. This is a normal feeling. Ideally you should be able to allow yourself a time for mourning, to be sad, to be left alone or with people who care about you.
    Another thing to take into consideration is in a lot of corporate environments where people are usually older...and at an age where they have to worry about their parents dying... The standard corporate policy is ....get this.... 3 days to stay home. Mind you some places don't even do this. Granted...I bet its a lot easier to grieve sitting at a desk with a cup of coffee, but it's probably not all that easier. So in this regards...being a stripper...and being able to take alot of time off work can be a god send !
    Actually the best thing that worked for me after my mom passed is I changed clubs. It feels like a fresh start. It was a million times easier to work after that. But then again I took a month off of no working after she died. And believe me...it wasnt easy, and I did have to do *alot* of begging from friends.

    I am wondering how things have been for you, considering you posted this a few months ago. And again i am sincerely sorry for your loss.
    Last edited by adellea; 08-09-2011 at 06:30 AM.

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