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Thread: Dating someone who is Overweight/Obese

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    Newbie JennaX's Avatar
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    Default Dating someone who is Overweight/Obese

    How many of you women/ or men would date someone who is overweight, or obese

    Does this matter to you?

    My current boyfriend is 5'10 and 225lbs, he has a big belly but I've come to love him, he is a sweetheart (maybe I am shallow but I love highly muscled bodies) and he has been losing weight (he used to weight 260) But I still love him


    Is this something that is unacceptable for people, or would you date them if they tryed to lose weight?

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    Featured Member tampadancer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dating someone who is Overweight/Obese

    No, I wouldn't date someone who was overweight. I work hard to have a sexy body and expect the same out of my partner.

    I'm a little shallow I guess...but I find have to be physically attracted to my partner.

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    Default Re: Dating someone who is Overweight/Obese

    I had an ex who was about 6'6 and wore a size 6x not sure about exact weight. I was a size 3 during our relationship. He got fatter the longer we were together. The more money he made the lazier he became. I loved him so I overlooked all of his physical imperfections. I can honestly admit that I no longer miss the days of lifting the stomach up so I could mount the cock. If you care physical doesn't matter if you aren't a person that is hung up on that type of thing. Unconditional love is just that. Most people have conditonal love and that's realistic. What one person can't deal with another one can. If you care for him, but don't care for his body type then ask yourself if what he has to offer outside of being physical attractive if enough for you to overlook that flaw? If you really like guys with physical desirable bodies you shouldn't have to settle.
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    Default Re: Dating someone who is Overweight/Obese

    why bother? there isn't a shortage of human beings.

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    Default Re: Dating someone who is Overweight/Obese

    Honestly? Probably not in most cases. If I met a guy and he was obese the chances of me dating him are pretty slim to none unless he's exceptionally great. If he was trying to lose weight I would tell him to come back to me once he lost the weight.

    However it would vary if he was just chubby. A guy who's say 20 pounds overweight I would consider if he's great. My last ex was 5'9 and 200 pounds and while he was overweight it didn't bother me because I knew how he was. Of course he turned into an asshole but that's another story. For me to be interested in dating an overweight guy he would have to show me he's interested in losing weight and is into athletics to lose the weight.

    If he's a naturally big guy likely not. For an example I saw a movie preview with Kevin James and he repulses me. Funny guy but definitely not a guy I would likely even consider. I am just not attracted to these types of men. I prefer nerdy types and the "football" types (that is to say the guys who watch sports but don't play it) aren't guys I like at all. Interesting to note that the worst guy I ever dated was a big fat slob with a nasty personality to boot so this could influence my views on this. When I do online dating seems most of the guys who contact me look like this which is why I pretty much gave up on online dating.

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    God/dess princessjas's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dating someone who is Overweight/Obese

    ^^Aww!! Kevin James is adorable!

    I have and would again.

    My ex went from completely ripped to 300+ lbs during the course of our relationship and no it didnt change how I felt about him. I admit it did take me a while to adjust and I was pretty grossed out by it at first (it happened in like 6 mos!) Before him I always went for slightly chubby guys and I was really tiny, now I find I like really fit men though....but chubby still wouldnt be a dealbreaker at all. Personality and how I am treated prevail above all else.
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    Thumbs down Re: Dating someone who is Overweight/Obese

    I've dated women generally in descent shape size 0-4. It doesn't mean I would ever be opposed to dating someone with a few extra pounds. It's a little different with women in my opinion. Women usually gain weight in the ass and boobs so the more the better LoL until a certain point. I was in a relationship a few years back where my ex gf was around 100lbs and ripped (partly a result of a coke diet which I wasn't aware of till the end of the relationship) and recently saw her and she gained some weight but didn't really look that bad in my opinion. But on the other hand if a girl is Morbidly obese then I would say I'm not attracted to that type of woman.
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    Default Re: Dating someone who is Overweight/Obese

    I've never been attracted to an overweight guy and I doubt I ever will. I don't mind a teeny beer belly if he has muscles too. Fat is ugly.

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    God/dess Trem's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dating someone who is Overweight/Obese

    Physical attraction comes first so i don't see how i'd ever end up dating someone overweight.
    "Well done. Here are the test results: You are a horrible person. I'm serious, that's what it says: 'A horrible person.' We weren't even testing for that."

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    Default Re: Dating someone who is Overweight/Obese

    I think it would be different if he started off being a decent weight and then gradually gained weight - I would feel shallow leaving someone after all that time just because of the size of their belly and would probably love them in spite of it. But to meet and start dating someone who's already overweight - probably not. I wouldn't be able to get past my initial non-attraction.

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    Default Re: Dating someone who is Overweight/Obese

    Quote Originally Posted by princessjas View Post
    ^^Aww!! Kevin James is adorable!

    I have and would again.

    My ex went from completely ripped to 300+ lbs during the course of our relationship and no it didnt change how I felt about him. I admit it did take me a while to adjust and I was pretty grossed out by it at first (it happened in like 6 mos!) Before him I always went for slightly chubby guys and I was really tiny, now I find I like really fit men though....but chubby still wouldnt be a dealbreaker at all. Personality and how I am treated prevail above all else.
    I was telling my mom I find him repulsive and she said she thought he's cute. She also thinks I am being too picky in this respect and maybe turning down someone perfect for me who looks like him.

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    Default Re: Dating someone who is Overweight/Obese

    Quote Originally Posted by Aurora_Sunset View Post
    I think it would be different if he started off being a decent weight and then gradually gained weight - I would feel shallow leaving someone after all that time just because of the size of their belly and would probably love them in spite of it. But to meet and start dating someone who's already overweight - probably not. I wouldn't be able to get past my initial non-attraction.
    It might be shallow but there is something that really bothers me about someone who just lets themselves go because they are in a relationship.
    "Well done. Here are the test results: You are a horrible person. I'm serious, that's what it says: 'A horrible person.' We weren't even testing for that."

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    Default Re: Dating someone who is Overweight/Obese

    If we are talking guys we're attracted to, I tend to be attracted generally to men in the 23 - 31 BMI range. For a man who is 5'10 that means weight between about 160 - 215 lbs. That's not to say I wouldn't date anyone heavier, I have, but too skinny or too heavy I'm just not as into physically. As for Kevin James, yes, I've dated men in his size range long-term before.
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    Default Re: Dating someone who is Overweight/Obese

    I date girls, but still obesity is a big NO for my level of sexual attraction. Now if I had a gf & later on she gained some weight or got sick took meds that made her fat well I'll probably still love her, but not be as sexually attracted (though i'm not in the situation so I wouldn't know). We might have to have an open relationship at some point cuz sexual attraction is important to me & I'm only really sexually attracted to women with tiny waistline , trim, tone, fit bodies, & I'm just to petite to have to fear being crushed by a much larger partner.
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    Default Re: Dating someone who is Overweight/Obese

    Obese, probably not.
    Overweight, yeah.

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    Default Re: Dating someone who is Overweight/Obese

    Aw, I like the big guys. It's dependent though on them still being strong and healthy -- barrel chest with a bit of a gut and huge arms = hell yes. Chubby can still be cute. Just overweight, inactive, and unhealthy looking, no, I'm not attracted to that.

    I used to really dislike skinny guys until I started dating one. He won me over with his personality, though...and it's actually kind of nice that I can borrow his jeans.

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    Default Re: Dating someone who is Overweight/Obese

    Annastasi - I love your avatar

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    Default Re: Dating someone who is Overweight/Obese

    Quote Originally Posted by Trem View Post
    It might be shallow but there is something that really bothers me about someone who just lets themselves go because they are in a relationship.
    True. I wouldn't be happy with it, but I just can't honestly see myself saying to someone "we're breaking up because you let yourself get fat." Even if I personally feel it's a valid reason if they really did just let themselves go (not just got older or had a medical condition) everyone would still see me as the bitch. I think it more has to do with the fact that if someone gained weight over a long period of time, I would probably love them so much by then that I wouldn't want to leave them regardless. If the weight gain started causing medical issues and/or they started not living life to the fullest with me because of their size, I can see justifiably leaving them if they don't do anything to fix it.

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    Default Re: Dating someone who is Overweight/Obese

    My boy got a bit chubby for a while in our relationship, but I still loved him just the same. To be honest, if when I had met him he was obease/fat I would not have gone out with him a second time. Personality is important to me, but I don't want to be with someone I don't find physically attractive. IF someone get's a bit chunky during a LTR due to poor health, or a stressful period of time that's one thing. If they're a fatass when I meet them then it's a no-go.

    I don't think my standards for weight are very difficult to met either - I don't like men on the skinny/lanky side, I prefer men with broad shoulders and a bulkier frame anyway, so that gives more wiggle room for weight-gain, if it happens. But I would never date a guy with like - that 'hang-over' stomach thing. Ughhhhh.....

    I googled Kevin James, I would NOT date someone like that.

    Seth Rogan in The Green Hornet was cute though, and a fine size. http://www.obsessedwithfilm.com/wp-c...seth_rogen.jpg (The 'after' pic on the right)



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    Default Re: Dating someone who is Overweight/Obese

    Quote Originally Posted by Aurora_Sunset View Post
    True. I wouldn't be happy with it, but I just can't honestly see myself saying to someone "we're breaking up because you let yourself get fat." Even if I personally feel it's a valid reason if they really did just let themselves go (not just got older or had a medical condition) everyone would still see me as the bitch. I think it more has to do with the fact that if someone gained weight over a long period of time, I would probably love them so much by then that I wouldn't want to leave them regardless. If the weight gain started causing medical issues and/or they started not living life to the fullest with me because of their size, I can see justifiably leaving them if they don't do anything to fix it.
    Well yeah but you don't have to say "im dumping you cuz you fat!" you can just break up with someone because you are not happy, which is a perfectly valid reason. That you are not happy cause they got fat doesn't need to be brought up.
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    Default Re: Dating someone who is Overweight/Obese

    Quote Originally Posted by _Avery_ View Post
    Obese, probably not.
    Overweight, yeah.
    This.

    There's also the difference between 'did they gain weight once you were together?' and 'did they start fat?'...
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