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Thread: Hurtful words

  1. #1
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    Default Hurtful words

    Ok I get at least hundreds of guys telling me how gorgeous I am and how pretty each feature is blah blah blah then there is always some jerk guy about 2xs a week who comes in and calls me ugly/fat ect. I don't know why but I don't remember the compliments I only remember the assholes who say mean things.

    I say this because some guy just came in my room and said "God do you really make money doing this, who would pay for that?" I knew when I signed up that it comes with the territory but it still hurts!

    So after awhile do you learn to block out the harsh words or does it sting a little every time?

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    God/dess Kylea2's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hurtful words

    The key to a lot of this is having snappy comebacks. i.e. "OMG, no wonder you are here! You have such a terrible attitude no one one want to be around you long IN REAL LIFE".
    Don't you ever sleep?
    Not at night...that's when the stars have rather better things to do. They're coming out, shining, that sort of thing.
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    Featured Member Christany's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hurtful words

    Stick some motivational sticky notes to your laptop. Or even your "stage name" written down on a sticky note. Sometimes that alone reminds you that they're insulting your *character/ the role you play* and not you personally.
    Quote Originally Posted by markx View Post
    I'd have to have a "4 simease twin strippers gave me head and then lite themselves on fire" story to blow anybody's mind here.

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    Featured Member bubblegumbitch's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hurtful words

    overtime you will grow a thick skin and just not give a fuck what they say anymore. there are always going to be guys who say mean shit to call attention to themselves. they do this cuz they are just plain assholes who are miserable with they're own lives so they gotta try and bring down someone else to make them feel better about how sad and pathetic they are. just roll it off your shoulders and move on and make your money. don't feed into they're bs, just ignore them. your time and energy costs money, money they obviously don't have.

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  9. #5
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    Default Re: Hurtful words

    Well sweety - here is something I can def relate on.

    Now some of you girls are going to want to hit me when I say this....

    I hate being super skinny. Yes I SAID IT. I HATE BEING SUPER SKINNY.

    I am 5'6 and weigh 100 pounds. Sometimes I wish I had a suction tube on my ass so I could get fat from someone else that did not want theirs.

    I cannot tell you how many times I have had people come into my room and say...

    - Omg, don't you eat?
    - You look like a crackwhore!
    - How much crack have you smoked today?
    - Have you eaten? Do you eat?

    Things along that line....

    The best thing to do - that I have noticed - don't acknowledge it and boot them as soon as you see it. It doesn't matter WHAT profession you work in but DEMAND respect and DO NOT EXCEPT ANYTHING LESS. Don't condone that behavior and DO NOT EVEN ACKNOWLEDGE it. When it happens to me, I don't even act like it happened and I just click the ban button. If I am sitting there and I am having a good day - I will chuckle and hit the ban button.

    You have to remember that some of those guys are there just to pass the time, especially the non-paying guys, even the ones who just paid the $20 once on MFC, just to see who they can piss off or annoy. Those are the sociopaths to stay away from.

    It's the thick skin you have to grow sweety. Remember, they are there looking at YOU and you are taking THEIR money. Just think of it like this - they paid $20 to come and PICK ON people if that's what they are out to do. That stupid asshole paid $20 to come on a sex chat to watch a chick get naked and tell her she's fat because he knows if he did it in a club he would get his ass kicked so he hides behind a PC in his Mom's basement.

    Remember, no matter what - you are BEAUTIFUL inside and out. It takes a special, unique, STRONG, determined WOMAN to do an ADULT INDUSTRY job and you have to grab it by the horns and go out and KICK ASS at it. All those men are dirt bags - don't look at anything but their wallet.

    xoxox Keep that head up!

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    Featured Member JoJoX's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hurtful words

    are you serious? youre gonna let some low life loser get to you like that? if he wasnt interested why does this dumb mf come into your room on a daily basis? he obviously has no life and youre being silly by letting him get to you.

    yeah, as if he is brad pitt his self.

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  12. #7
    Veteran Member luxi_kitty's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hurtful words

    haha i start laughing
    bc they are only doing it or saying those things to get a emotional reaction out of u

    dont give in to what they are saying
    they dont know u and im pretty sure they go thru chat rooms saying the same things
    "All little girls should be told they are pretty, even if they aren't."


    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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    Featured Member FiendishGyrator's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hurtful words

    ^in terms of the emotional reaction, I'd just agree with them-- be like, "I know, right? I'm soooo ugly."

    They don't know how to take that-- whether it's sarcasm or you're serious.
    But then again, I've only had this rarely happen in real life in a stripclub scenario so you can't really boot them.

    So I would say boot them, but if you're inclined to say anything, just agree and I find it's easier to let that shit roll of your back because you're not being negative, you're diffusing the situation, and you're confusing the fuck out of them.

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    God/dess sammii's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hurtful words

    Why don't you just ban the guy? If you're this sensitive, this might not be the industry for you. It's very focused on looks, and if you're not confident in yourself, then this industry will break you down quick. I don't show shit in free chat, so when a guy asks me to show him something and I tell him "private," he'll get mad and say "boring" or "bitch" or something along those lines. I don't let it hurt me and I ban him, because I know I'm not boring and I know I'm not a bitch. Also, I disagree with the girls who are telling you to say something back, because 1). he will know that he got to you and 2). the other guys in the room will just think you're a bitch too and leave.

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  17. #10
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    Default Re: Hurtful words

    Kitana your post had my eyes watering a bit lol. So all of you know I do pretend like I never saw it and just ban them. I have a lot of pride (and low self esteem go figure) so I NEVER show they hurt me. I just hope my skin will be thicker after a while and I will just brush off the bad comments and even take humor in the situation (that is awesome luxi!). Fiendish that must have been horrible! I can't imagine someone being vile enough to say these things to your face.

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  19. #11
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    Default Re: Hurtful words

    Some of the guys say mean things just to get a rise out of you. They get off on hurting people's feelings. Don't give them the satisfaction. Just block with no acknowledgement. These are guys are worthless and they want you to feel the way they do. Tell yourself everyday that you are beautiful woman. These guys have to pay to look at you after all.

    I grew up having a thick skin because I was always short (5'1 now as an adult) and kids used to make fun of me for being a "white acting black girl" among other things. My mother always told me that people like that are jealous. They feel bad about themselves, and misery loves company. She's right. Some people are big bullies behind the computer, but in real life these same dudes would probably be too intimidated by you to even say hello to you at Starbucks. In time a thick skin will come. Until then hold your head up high, and ban those assholes.

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    God/dess whirlerz's Avatar
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    Angry Re: Hurtful words

    Hi! & I am sorry this happened to you..lots of great advice here!
    I am super skinny too, naturally, &, YES I HATE IT!!
    I SO LOATHE, when total strangers come up to me, (or anyone really) & tell me, "Oh, you're so LUCKY"! Like I won the damn lottery or something! Does no good to explain my hyper thyroidism, "Oh I wish I had that"!
    oop* end rant/threadjack!
    I agree, not worth you're time, I find in ANY situation, (home, neighbors, the list goes on) there are a-holes out there, ready to make stupid, random, nonsensical comments for no reason, not that there'd ever be one!
    Once, a neighbor kid, grossly overweight, commented loudly to her friend about me: "She must be on welfare b/c she's home all the time"! When I was caring for an terminaly ill person at home. Obviously she herself gets teased/bullied, chooses to pass it on.
    Anyway, I've got tons more examples, but what works best for me is to tune out. I also have a highly sensitive nature, so I try to limit somewhat my exposure to the biz, as was pointed out.
    Then again, this crap is everywhere!


    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

    -Eartha Kitt

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    Member redhead85's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hurtful words

    This happens to everyone in camming. I got a guy who didn't want to pay to be my friend before private on MFC, so started railing off about how this is a recession and I need to charge what I am worth. Well, I told him if it is "just a private" and I'm not worth it, then he can go to YouPorn. I didn't ban him, because I didn't let him get to me.

    There was another guy who said I would never reach my goal, and that I am no Ginny Potter. Ginny Potter is awesome, but no, I am not Ginny Potter, I told him he can wait for her to get online, and I did ban him.. so he didn't get to watch my show when I did reach my goal.

    I just go with flow, just like real life, there are douches everywhere.
    "I believe you are the girl, when you touch the sea, you leave pearls at the shore."

  23. #14
    Senior Member Rileiy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hurtful words

    I remembered having a blonde profile picture. I'm black Caribbean to be exact. I was in direct IM mode and some guy came into my chat room calling me a tacky american. My response was " You must like tacky Americans!" He left immediately. No banning necessary! I found it funny but I can see what you mean. People can be so cruel. I'm a firm believer in "If you have nothing good to say then shut the F up!"
    Last edited by Rileiy; 06-20-2011 at 10:00 AM.

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    Default Re: Hurtful words

    Quote Originally Posted by Maina View Post
    Kitana your post had my eyes watering a bit lol. So all of you know I do pretend like I never saw it and just ban them. I have a lot of pride (and low self esteem go figure) so I NEVER show they hurt me. I just hope my skin will be thicker after a while and I will just brush off the bad comments and even take humor in the situation (that is awesome luxi!). Fiendish that must have been horrible! I can't imagine someone being vile enough to say these things to your face.
    Hun, I was picked on my entire life when I was growing up. When I left my junior year and returned my senior year in high school - it was the swan story and all those assholes that were mean to me wanted to date me - and even as the years went by and they say me in the bars - especially when they found out I was modeling and such - it got worse. I did the same thing. I ignored them.

    I was raised with thick skin. My Mom taught it to me.

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    God/dess JGB2009's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hurtful words

    I don't pay attention to men like this!!!!

    Anyway I know I look good, so if anyone comes in my room saying other wise then they are the idiots!!!!

    Sometimes I ban and sometimes I don't. Just depends on my mood on what I might do.

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  27. #17
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    Default Re: Hurtful words

    For me, humor has always been the best way to overcome harsh comments. Guys will say some screwed up crap to me, I'll crack a joke about it and further insult myself and then next thing you know they want to spend money on me. It is completely twisted an I am unsure if anyone else uses this method--but I swear, it works for me.

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    Default Re: Hurtful words

    People are just miserable in life and like to bring others down. In this industry you are surrounded by negative energy, don't take anything personal. So you can't please everyone, everyone has there own taste.
    Maybe state to them that they should be judging... have they looked in the mirror and seen there flaws. State to them that you are not here to be harassed and you are just looking to help provide entertainment. If they don't want a dance just say no thanks. Don't let others put curses on you... blow them off and continue to work hard for your future.
    You are not the only one this happens to... it happens to all dancers throughout dancing.
    Keep your head up and stay strong. Know that this is a short career so make the best of it. The more you hustle and save the quicker you can move on to your dreams.

  29. #19
    Veteran Member CurvySweet's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hurtful words

    Never understand why someone would take the time to go into freeview/chat and start dissing someone they didn't like the look of. For me if something is not of interest i don't look at it/buy it/eat it or smell it for that matter. Some really strange people in this world for all the hateful nasties that pop up and abuse women. Its just sad.

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    Featured Member bubblegumbitch's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hurtful words

    ^^^exactly, in this industry, you are soooo exposed to so many ppl. you are always going to run across abusive men. don't let it bother you so much, you know your worth and you don't need to convince anyone otherwise, they are just not worth it. i blocked this dude a month ago, who actually spent alot of time in prvt, like an hour, but he would only take me back there to be abusive to me. this wasn't just domination, i can do role play cool, but this was not just a fantasy for him. he just flat out liked to be abusive and he tried to get me to do things that i didn't want to do, the more i refused the more abusive he became. so that last (2nd) session i had with him, i just sat there and let him do his thing until he got fed up and left. cuz i figured hey, i will let him sit there and waste his time being an asshole to me in prvt, cuz it's his money and i am not gonna do a damn thing for this guy. then after he left, i blocked his ass. he then comes into my free chat as a guest begging me to unblock him, i didn't even respond cuz i knew his 2min would be up real quick,lol. nope not worth my time and energy, i only do things for men who are respectful of me and that's it.

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    Default Re: Hurtful words

    Yah i know how u feel, I had a asshole phsyco mofo on imlive who used to threaten me all the time call me every name under the sun even death threats, It got under my skin because this individual was the meanest person i've ever come across and he kept coming into my room under dif. sn's after i would block him and kept doing charge backs one payperiod he had100+ in charge backs so that really discouraged me and i thought he would neveeerrr go away. He was not only a dick but he was messing with my money, But eventually he noticed he never got a rise outta me so he finally left me alone thank god!
    But dont ever let them get to you They just miserable losers!

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  35. #22
    Veteran Member Citychick's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hurtful words

    Seriously you need to go and have a word with yourself.
    If you are going to let people affect your money like that you need to have a change of attitude.

    Don't react to it, ignore it and kick him out of the room - JOB DONE.

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  37. #23
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    Default Re: Hurtful words

    I just look at it this way ... when it happens to me - they're gone before I can even block 'em, so this tells me: 1 - they've been around the block a little and probably know the site quite well (perhaps as well as I do). 2 - if the insults are personal, it's not about me, it's about them. 3 - if you were to poll everyone in your room, he's be the ONLY asshole, wherefore, his comments really shouldn't even be taken seriously. I've been through this and you'd be surprised what a great conversation starter this is. It also points out to the other members in the room that you are 'real', real feelings and everything. They like a girl they can relate to, on a more personal level.

    I have been harrassed for one year straight now, so those comments roll right off my back. It's easier when you know where they're coming from, and guaranteed, it is a real ugly place.

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    Veteran Member DottieMay's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hurtful words

    When I used to do peepshows I had an actual friend of mine say to another friend behind my back " Who would want to see her naked? I don't know how she even makes money?" That was pretty painful. BUt I sucked it up and said to myself. Well, plenty of people want to see me naked and I make a shitload of money so fuck all these haters. Trust me this guy/girl is prolly some ugly ass, broke loser who has nothing better to do than sit on the internet insulting people all day. Make your money girl, don't let that jerk get you down.
    Whats 6 inches long, 2 inches wide, and drives women wild?...... Money

  39. #25
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    Default Re: Hurtful words

    when they do that to me I play along a bit so they see they did not bother me and that I have a sense of humor..

    " ur fat!"
    "yea, I know holly shit, Im obese"

    "ur ugly"
    " oh well, thats me , what can I do"

    "u smoke crack, I saw you"
    " oh ya , and I drink alot too..."

    Meanwhile Im looking for the ban button...

    most of the time the people in the room defend me and then we're back in business

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