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Thread: A customer brought his iPad to the club; what a retard!

  1. #76
    God/dess 4everresolutions's Avatar
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    Default Re: A customer brought his iPad to the club; what a retard!

    ^ OH MY GOD YESSS!

    I want an Olive Garden salad SO bad. And Breaksticks. And a bowl of soup. MMmmmm. Awesome cheap lunch.



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    Default Re: A customer brought his iPad to the club; what a retard!

    I really want to go to lunch and get the salad/soup/breadsticks combo, yum. I got the salad with no dressing and it was still so good.

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    Featured Member Brandi_Lynn's Avatar
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    Default Re: A customer brought his iPad to the club; what a retard!

    Shit, man -to bad you can't combine Red Lobster & Olive Garden into a conglomerate monster restaurant! Endless bread sticks & endless shrimp! Omg -I think I just had an orgasm. Yum yum....

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    Default Re: A customer brought his iPad to the club; what a retard!

    I haven't cared to join this thread before, was just reading for entertainment. I just gotta say I am so jealous now that this has turned into talking about Red Lobster and Olive Garden. I would kill for some biscuits from Red Lobster and soup, salad and breadsticks from Olive Garden, I have none on my end of the world

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    Default Re: A customer brought his iPad to the club; what a retard!

    I'm craving some Cheddar Bay Biscuits right now...

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    Default Re: A customer brought his iPad to the club; what a retard!

    I find it fucking hilarious that Jay12 hasn't said shit.

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    Default Re: A customer brought his MaxiPad to the club; what a retard!

    Speaking of this, reminds me of a story from a while back.

    A while ago, some d-bag/cheap customer brought his maxipads and all his toys like a kid's phone (it was pink) and a droid (this one looked like a rip off of R2D2).

    I approached him because how many men wear maxipads on their heads? I was telling him that a SC wasn't the place for all his crappy toys He then told me that he makes maxipads and if someone stole them he knew how to create new ones and all sort of other things, but of course, he was totally unaware that I knew about those things (after all, why would someone who works in a club know how to make maxipads?). Then I tried to sound as illiterate by asking what if someone learns how to make maxipads? Then he was quiet; I looked at the kid phone he brought and it reminded me of when I used to make phones with my Legos. I finally figured out how to recreate the maxi pad and told him how I did it (I can't reveal it here being it's top secret and only used by CIA agents like myself). I then told him the R2D2 knockoff was pretty terrible and anyone who knows Star Wars would know it was a fake. He was shocked that a stripper working in a divey club would know a fake R2D2. I mean does he think we don't shop at Wal-Mart? Hell, that's where I always advise dancers to buy their outfits so people don't guess they are strippers.

    As soon as I showed him that I knew how to build R2D2, maxipads, and kid phones from my previous job as a CIA agent he got mad. He asked me why I was dancing and I told him "because I am undercover". He said some really nasty shit to me, but he was kicked by one of the managers who are also CIA agents and I think FBI agents as well (my previous job).

    Since then I haven't talked about my knowledge of maxipads, R2D2 rip offs, and building kids phones from Legos because I am afraid of how they may be upset. I feel I'm no longer myself if I can't talk about those kind of things but my boss told me I need to keep it quiet like I have to my previous job as an assassin. I started to make a fake stripper alter ego just so people think I am stupid because we all know strippers are dumb. It felt fake because who would think I could be a stripper and an CIA agent? Now, I just limit to listen to the customer. I guess I learned my lesson, am I right?

  11. #83
    Veteran Member aperfectseal's Avatar
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    Default Re: A customer brought his iPad to the club; what a retard!

    OMG ahhahahahhahahhahaha that is amazing!

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    Default Re: A customer brought his iPad to the club; what a retard!

    When I started reading Kelly's post I was like WTF did someone smack her upside the head???

    BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

  13. #85
    God/dess 4everresolutions's Avatar
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    Default Re: A customer brought his iPad to the club; what a retard!

    Hahahahahha!!!! Awesome Kelly!



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    Smiley Re: A customer brought his MaxiPad to the club; what a retard!

    Quote Originally Posted by Kellydancer View Post
    Speaking of this, reminds me of a story from a while back.

    A while ago, some d-bag/cheap customer brought his maxipads and all his toys like a kid's phone (it was pink) and a droid (this one looked like a rip off of R2D2).

    I approached him because how many men wear maxipads on their heads? I was telling him that a SC wasn't the place for all his crappy toys He then told me that he makes maxipads and if someone stole them he knew how to create new ones and all sort of other things, but of course, he was totally unaware that I knew about those things (after all, why would someone who works in a club know how to make maxipads?). Then I tried to sound as illiterate by asking what if someone learns how to make maxipads? Then he was quiet; I looked at the kid phone he brought and it reminded me of when I used to make phones with my Legos. I finally figured out how to recreate the maxi pad and told him how I did it (I can't reveal it here being it's top secret and only used by CIA agents like myself). I then told him the R2D2 knockoff was pretty terrible and anyone who knows Star Wars would know it was a fake. He was shocked that a stripper working in a divey club would know a fake R2D2. I mean does he think we don't shop at Wal-Mart? Hell, that's where I always advise dancers to buy their outfits so people don't guess they are strippers.

    As soon as I showed him that I knew how to build R2D2, maxipads, and kid phones from my previous job as a CIA agent he got mad. He asked me why I was dancing and I told him "because I am undercover". He said some really nasty shit to me, but he was kicked by one of the managers who are also CIA agents and I think FBI agents as well (my previous job).

    Since then I haven't talked about my knowledge of maxipads, R2D2 rip offs, and building kids phones from Legos because I am afraid of how they may be upset. I feel I'm no longer myself if I can't talk about those kind of things but my boss told me I need to keep it quiet like I have to my previous job as an assassin. I started to make a fake stripper alter ego just so people think I am stupid because we all know strippers are dumb. It felt fake because who would think I could be a stripper and an CIA agent? Now, I just limit to listen to the customer. I guess I learned my lesson, am I right?

    girly, you are amazing. I needed that laugh!!
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    Default Re: A customer brought his iPad to the club; what a retard!

    Back to the food thred jack lol. I like olive gardens spinach dip and their mushroom chz raviolis. Red lobster, ain't my thing. But my city is big on Italian cuisine sO we have a lotta smaller chains and family owned places that are way better then olive garden and cheaper too. In fact I could go for some raviolis with Alfredo right now...no shrimp, ate too many of those at ruby Tuesday last nite on my once-an-eon girls nite out hahaha

  16. #88
    God/dess 4everresolutions's Avatar
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    Default Re: A customer brought his iPad to the club; what a retard!

    ^Omg I effing love Ruby Tuesday's too! First time I went when I was visiting the states, I was 6 and ordered a baked potato. It was as big as my head!

    I love their salad bars. I make the fattest, most unhealthy salad with Olives and full fat dressing OMG! And heeps of cheese and bacon bits! YUMMMMM!!!!

    I'm SUCH a natural fat-ass. Not even funny.



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  18. #89
    Featured Member noelle's Avatar
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    Default Re: A customer brought his iPad to the club; what a retard!

    What about Red Robin?
    Quote Originally Posted by lokikola View Post
    If success meant being savage my woes would disappear.

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    Default Re: A customer brought his iPad to the club; what a retard!

    ......YUMMMMMMM!!!

    Jesus that's deeply programmed.



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    Default Re: A customer brought his iPad to the club; what a retard!

    I'm glad you all enjoyed it because it was fun to write. Now however I really want to go to Olive Garden, lol.

  22. #92
    Featured Member Brandi_Lynn's Avatar
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    Default Re: A customer brought his MaxiPad to the club; what a retard!

    Quote Originally Posted by Kellydancer View Post
    Speaking of this, reminds me of a story from a while back.

    A while ago, some d-bag/cheap customer brought his maxipads and all his toys like a kid's phone (it was pink) and a droid (this one looked like a rip off of R2D2).

    I approached him because how many men wear maxipads on their heads? I was telling him that a SC wasn't the place for all his crappy toys He then told me that he makes maxipads and if someone stole them he knew how to create new ones and all sort of other things, but of course, he was totally unaware that I knew about those things (after all, why would someone who works in a club know how to make maxipads?). Then I tried to sound as illiterate by asking what if someone learns how to make maxipads? Then he was quiet; I looked at the kid phone he brought and it reminded me of when I used to make phones with my Legos. I finally figured out how to recreate the maxi pad and told him how I did it (I can't reveal it here being it's top secret and only used by CIA agents like myself). I then told him the R2D2 knockoff was pretty terrible and anyone who knows Star Wars would know it was a fake. He was shocked that a stripper working in a divey club would know a fake R2D2. I mean does he think we don't shop at Wal-Mart? Hell, that's where I always advise dancers to buy their outfits so people don't guess they are strippers.

    As soon as I showed him that I knew how to build R2D2, maxipads, and kid phones from my previous job as a CIA agent he got mad. He asked me why I was dancing and I told him "because I am undercover". He said some really nasty shit to me, but he was kicked by one of the managers who are also CIA agents and I think FBI agents as well (my previous job).

    Since then I haven't talked about my knowledge of maxipads, R2D2 rip offs, and building kids phones from Legos because I am afraid of how they may be upset. I feel I'm no longer myself if I can't talk about those kind of things but my boss told me I need to keep it quiet like I have to my previous job as an assassin. I started to make a fake stripper alter ego just so people think I am stupid because we all know strippers are dumb. It felt fake because who would think I could be a stripper and an CIA agent? Now, I just limit to listen to the customer. I guess I learned my lesson, am I right?

    ROFL! I just nearly pissed myself -haha!

  23. #93
    Featured Member Brandi_Lynn's Avatar
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    Default Re: A customer brought his iPad to the club; what a retard!

    Since we've threadjacked this into food chains -I'm also a fan of The Melting Pot & Dairy Queen. Yum

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  25. #94
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    Default Re: A customer brought his iPad to the club; what a retard!

    Way off topic, but this is probably the most appropriate place for me to get this off my chest.

    *takes deep breath*

    I friggin' hate Taco Bell's new 100% real beef. It tastes like cardboard and misery. I want their old 30% mystery beef back. Things will never be the same.

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    Smiley Re: A customer brought his iPad to the club; what a retard!

    Quote Originally Posted by Brandi_Lynn View Post
    Since we've threadjacked this into food chains -I'm also a fan of The Melting Pot & Dairy Queen. Yum
    OMFG...DAIRY QUEEN!!
    I love it!!

    that and sushi..omg, I can eat my weight in sushi....
    "You are the church, I am the steeple. when we fuck we're all God's people." - "Slutgarden" by Marilyn Manson

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  28. #96
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    Default Re: A customer brought his iPad to the club; what a retard!

    This has turned into the new "What do you crave on your period?" thread.....



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  30. #97
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    Default Re: A customer brought his iPad to the club; what a retard!

    i'm not sure why dairy queen is so good. for the first time in life, a couple of weeks ago, i got something from dairy queen that was really disgusting and it made me question everything i believed about myself in humanity.

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  32. #98
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    Default Re: A customer brought his iPad to the club; what a retard!

    Red robin...I like there whisky river BBQ burgers with a veggie patty (fatty meat not good for pregnancy and meat sux anyway). Zucchini stix app used to be good til they totally changed it.

    Friendlys...there blk raspberry milkshakes or there watermelon sherbet slammers. Get it in a kids size to save calories and money gives u more $ to spend on junior's milkshake too lol

    Melting pot...never went but always wanted to try it

    Dq...their reeses peanut butter cup blizzards

    Taco bell...try getting retried beans insteada the beef. SO much healthier, lower in fat, and better. Tasting. There beef sux, it's like grade c or sonethin

    Sushi...nah not my thing esp right now

    Chart House...now THAT'S a good seafood place!! Best bisque too and such a big bowl they give ya. My fab is the one in Vegas with the blue color theme and the fish tank in the middle.

    Mcdonalds...shamrok shakes every march but I hate the new way they make the shakes, plz go back to the old sloop non-thick recipe from pre 2000 PLZZZZ

    I miss chi chis esp there fried ice cream

  33. #99
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    Default Re: A customer brought his iPad to the club; what a retard!

    Quote Originally Posted by kthnx View Post
    Red robin...I like there whisky river BBQ burgers with a veggie patty (fatty meat not good for pregnancy and meat sux anyway). Zucchini stix app used to be good til they totally changed it.

    Friendlys...there blk raspberry milkshakes or there watermelon sherbet slammers. Get it in a kids size to save calories and money gives u more $ to spend on junior's milkshake too lol

    Melting pot...never went but always wanted to try it

    Dq...their reeses peanut butter cup blizzards

    Taco bell...try getting retried beans insteada the beef. SO much healthier, lower in fat, and better. Tasting. There beef sux, it's like grade c or sonethin

    Sushi...nah not my thing esp right now

    Chart House...now THAT'S a good seafood place!! Best bisque too and such a big bowl they give ya. My fab is the one in Vegas with the blue color theme and the fish tank in the middle.

    Mcdonalds...shamrok shakes every march but I hate the new way they make the shakes, plz go back to the old sloop non-thick recipe from pre 2000 PLZZZZ

    I miss chi chis esp there fried ice cream
    Hot damn, girl! You got this down to a fine science! I And Chi chis was the shit! The fried ice cream. Omg! I swear I really was an obese gay man in my past life or something. Oi!

  34. #100
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    Default Re: A customer brought his iPad to the club; what a retard!

    fuuuuck all this olive garden shiiit bring me on the deennys for a late night pancake after a shift at work mmm nothing like got pancakes at 4 in the morn
    slut it out responsibly and don't forget to smile while you're whoring out!!

    Glitter is like herpes that shit never goes away!



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