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Thread: BF wont let me dance :(

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    Default BF wont let me dance :(

    Hi! Im 25 I have been dancing on and off since I was 18. My parents dont have alot of money and I grew up poor so stripping has kinda been a lifesaver for me. I admit its not all fun and glamours but they money is usually decent
    Last edited by sexiiqt123; 06-24-2011 at 12:20 AM.

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    God/dess Athenathefabulous's Avatar
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    Default Re: BF wont let me dance :(

    i am not going to read any further than 'bf wont let me dance' and 'I'm 25.' These are the only things relevant to this post. you are 25, an adult. you make your own decisions. you are not your boyfriend's possession. this is 2011 sweetie, adult women make their own decisions. you dont need anybody's permission besides your own to do what you choose to. so woman up and make your own choices.
    The best thing i have heard in a strip club to date:
    customer: we should get married right now! we should get a shotgun marriage!
    me: uhh... i think you are misunderstanding what a shotgun marriage means. A shotgun marriage means you knock me up and my daddy shows up at your door with a gun and forces you to marry me and raise the baby. You mean elope.
    customer: hmm... nah actually i will take the shotgun marriage. At least then we would be having sex.


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    Default Re: BF wont let me dance :(

    First off, NEVER LET A MAN DETERMINE YOUR CAREER. I can't stress this enough. I've seen way too many women who were controlled by men. Years ago I dated a man who pressured me to quit when I moved in so I did and got a waitressing job. I eventually went back to dancing and dumped him. Ironically, I moved back in with him while still dancing.

    Second, what the fuck are you doing with a married man with kid? Dump him, he'll never leave his wife.

    Third, so what if he spends money on another woman? No guarantee he'll keep spending money on you, so then what?

    I would go back to dancing and dump him.

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    Default Re: BF wont let me dance :(

    Yeah go back to being your own woman. Is his money really worth that to you? You're going to allow your quality of life and standard of living to depend on this guy? Seriously? A million dollars isn't that much money. There are lots of guys out there with that kind of money. Not to mention, you could make your own million and not have to worry about it. No one has the right to own you and that's what your allowing to happen here. He's CONTROLLING you by making you completely dependant on him. Why allow this to go any further? You were fine before him, you'll be fine again without him. Tell him to go spend however much he wants on another girl. You'll be with another guy making just as much or more and you'll have your life back.
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    Default Re: BF wont let me dance :(

    He is not your boyfriend, you are just a rental to him.
    "Well done. Here are the test results: You are a horrible person. I'm serious, that's what it says: 'A horrible person.' We weren't even testing for that."

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    Default Re: BF wont let me dance :(

    Oh dear. Seriously, fuck him. He met you there, and was completely aware of your decision to dance. If he has so much money, why is he not giving you any, and making you work 3 bullshit jobs just to get by? If he really cared about you, he would not be making you do that. Besides, he is married!!! WHo gives a shit if he comes in and spends money on another girl? Get your life back!

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    Default Re: BF wont let me dance :(

    seen this style of guy many times, he uses the club for his own dating pool, and no a million isnt alot
    stand up for yourself and go back to work, and if he does like you he will be there, if not he isnt worth worrying over

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    God/dess firemaiden04's Avatar
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    Default Re: BF wont let me dance :(

    $250/week allowance?

    How about $250+ A DAY for deserving it? For being hot and good company and a goddess to any number of men who would worship you? You aren't a child, you shouldn't be getting an "allowance" from anyone.

    And him threatening to spend money on other girls...fuck it, let him do what he wants. He sounds like a manipulative, spiteful, catty jackass. If my fiancee ever threatened me with that, I'd be like, "Fuck, go do it, and go give her all your shit as well, cause we are DONE." It's fine if he wants to go to a strip club for his own enjoyment. But doing it purely as a manipulative poke at you is fucking bullshit. He sounds like a complete and total controlling loser. You'd be soooo much better off on your own. Seriously, be your own woman. Making and having your own money is so much more satisfying than having a boyfriend give you an "allowance" like you're a 12-year-old who keeps her room clean and mows the lawn.

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    Default Re: BF wont let me dance :(

    Married with kids, that's enough for him to get dumped asap. ***Married men are ONLY good to juice their $$$$*** Not to be in serious relationships with. He also sounds like a MEGA control freak! Don't waste any more time with this man. You WILL regret it.

    Also, he is threatening you by saying he will spend time with another dancer! Ha. This man does not care about you at all. He is having his cake. If he dumped his previous GF like that, he will do it to you too.
    Last edited by Vyanka; 06-22-2011 at 01:20 PM.

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    Default Re: BF wont let me dance :(

    WHY do some women devalue themselves like this?!! Its just pathetic!

    Quote Originally Posted by sexiiqt123 View Post
    Anyway I met my current bf at the club, long story short he came in w/ his gf at the time got a bunch of dances w/ her and me, spent a lot of money and basically left her for me.
    Wow, already he sounds like a winner. Dumped his previous girlfriend for a stripper he met on a lunch date with said girlfriend. Yeah, he's a catch.

    Quote Originally Posted by sexiiqt123 View Post
    He has alot of money.. like probably a million. he does have baggage tho because he is still legally married and has a 8 month old.
    Again, how is this NOT a red flag? He's already married with a kid. And yes, as its been said, around a million dollars (if that's actually it and you're not just guessing or going on what he's told you) is not a lot of money. Oh yeah, and didn't I hear you say he's legally married with a kid?!

    Quote Originally Posted by sexiiqt123 View Post
    Anyway I love him and want to be with him but he wont let me dance.
    Something tells me you wouldn't have the first clue as to what healthy love really is. You're blinded by the potential of "probably a million" dollars. You're under-educated, grew up poor and are attracted to whatever lifestyle this douche-bag seems to have, I'm sure. You're playing a role, right now and so is he.

    Quote Originally Posted by sexiiqt123 View Post
    I have 3 part time jobs right now and it sucks!! I work my ass off for no money. I'm a dog bather, retail person and do cell phone sales. I didnt go to collage so my options are kind of limited.
    There's a sucker born every minute. Welcome to the club.

    Quote Originally Posted by sexiiqt123 View Post
    He used to give me a allowance of 250 a week to help me get on my feet when I quit stripping. but after about 2 months he took it away because he got mad that I had minimal communication w/ my ex.
    Wooooooow, he was really spoiling you with that $1000-ish a month, wasn't he? And he's pissed that you spoke to another man so he took it away? Isn't he married with a kid? Again, how's it feel to be a sucker?

    Quote Originally Posted by sexiiqt123 View Post
    I really want to dance again. I quit in late november, prolly lost all my regs and everything. but Is it worth it to go back?
    Of course its worth it. Get your ass back to work.

    Quote Originally Posted by sexiiqt123 View Post
    He threatened me that if I go back he is gonna come in and spend money on another girl while I'm working. Hes done this to me b4 and spend over 400 on a girl.. It really pissed me off that he'd do this. I don't know what to do can someone please give me advice....?
    There's so many things wrng with this. He's not even GIVING you money. I agree, you're more just a rental for him and you're obviously easily replaceable. Find a club where he won't go, break up with him and get back to work. Don't worry about other girls "getting" all his money (again, girl, $400 is not a lot to spend on a stripper!!!!!!), just be happy to be rid of him and let another sucker take your place. There is one born every minute.
    "SS=stripper shit, in the same spectrum as CS=customer shit, which is within the spectrum of SaS=sales shit, which is all contained in the universe of BS=bullshit." -- Jay Zeno (mod)

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    Default Re: BF wont let me dance :(

    Agree with the ladies. Go back to the club and work and stop letting him control you as it will only get worse. Along with the control issues there is the issue of him still being married. An allowance??? Really??? As far as the club goes....there is always the option of talking to management and them not allowing him in the club when you work.

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    Default Re: BF wont let me dance :(

    HE has a million dollars. He's not sharing them with you and he's forbidding you to make your own money the way you want to. There's men out there who won't blackmail you and when you have your own money you're not dependant on someone's whim.

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    Default Re: BF wont let me dance :(

    thanks ladies I really appreciate all the advice.. He did kinda promise to give me his older car and maybe a few surgieries (should I stick it out till I get that?). And I know he has money because he spends alot when we go out. been on his boat and to a few of his properties. I really do love him alot too and I know he loves me. We are probably soul mates. We have alot of fun together and he does alot of nice things for me. He doesnt mind if I have a job, just says stripping isnt respectable...

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    Default Re: BF wont let me dance :(

    SERIOUSLY?!

    "SS=stripper shit, in the same spectrum as CS=customer shit, which is within the spectrum of SaS=sales shit, which is all contained in the universe of BS=bullshit." -- Jay Zeno (mod)

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    Default Re: BF wont let me dance :(

    ^I give up. You're either a troll, or a doormat who likes being mistreated.

    He's a married man who is using and abusing you. Either wise up and be a grown-ass woman, or just admit you like being his little lapdog.

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    Default Re: BF wont let me dance :(

    Quote Originally Posted by sexiiqt123 View Post
    thanks ladies I really appreciate all the advice.. He did kinda promise to give me his older car and maybe a few surgieries (should I stick it out till I get that?).
    I wouldn't believe what he says and would dance before surgeries. As for a car you can buy one of your own once you dance. Even if he gives you one how do you know he won't take it back? I've known a few this happened to.

    Quote Originally Posted by sexiiqt123 View Post
    And I know he has money because he spends alot when we go out. been on his boat and to a few of his properties.
    Many people claim they have money when in reality they are broke. I've had friends who spent money they didn't have. Even if he's not broke, so what? There are men with those things.

    Quote Originally Posted by sexiiqt123 View Post
    I really do love him alot too and I know he loves me. We are probably soul mates.
    He doesn't love you he enjoys using you until the next plaything comes along. You aren't soul mates and he's MARRIED

    Quote Originally Posted by sexiiqt123 View Post
    We have alot of fun together and he does alot of nice things for me.
    There are many men who do nice things, and not all are nice. Many murderers start off being nice to the women they kill.

    Quote Originally Posted by sexiiqt123 View Post
    He doesnt mind if I have a job, just says stripping isnt respectable...
    But him going to a strip club is respectable? To me it's the same. He's applying a double standard here.

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    Default Re: BF wont let me dance :(

    Quote Originally Posted by sexiiqt123 View Post
    thanks ladies I really appreciate all the advice.. He did kinda promise to give me his older car and maybe a few surgieries (should I stick it out till I get that?). And I know he has money because he spends alot when we go out. been on his boat and to a few of his properties. I really do love him alot too and I know he loves me. We are probably soul mates. We have alot of fun together and he does alot of nice things for me. He doesnt mind if I have a job, just says stripping isnt respectable...
    You are not soul mates. He does not love you a lot.
    "Well done. Here are the test results: You are a horrible person. I'm serious, that's what it says: 'A horrible person.' We weren't even testing for that."

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    Default Re: BF wont let me dance :(

    Quote Originally Posted by sexiiqt123 View Post
    thanks ladies I really appreciate all the advice.. He did kinda promise to give me his older car and maybe a few surgieries (should I stick it out till I get that?). And I know he has money because he spends alot when we go out. been on his boat and to a few of his properties. I really do love him alot too and I know he loves me. We are probably soul mates. We have alot of fun together and he does alot of nice things for me. He doesnt mind if I have a job, just says stripping isnt respectable...
    Stripping isn't respectable, but it was fine for him to go to the club? You being completely in need of him is respectable? Living on an "allowance" he gives you is respectable? No dear. Taking care of yourself is respectable. Not relying on anyone else is respectable. Give me a fucking break. There is no such thing as a soul mate on this plane. Soul mates are waiting for you on the other side. You're not soul mates. You're so brain washed it's sad. Having possessions and having money are not the same thing. Anyone can have possessions. Apparently you're ok with being included in his possessions. I have an idea, go back to work, buy yourself a NEW car and whatever surgeries you want when you can afford it on your own and take your fucking dignity back. For Christ's sake.
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    Default Re: BF wont let me dance :(

    Fuck him.

    First of all - still married with kids? If he really has millions, he has plenty of money to be divorced. Why isn't it done yet if he truly loves you and wants to be with you?

    Secondly - I am soooo sick and tired of girls whose boyfriends won't let them dance. ESPECIALLY when he met you IN THE CLUB. This is just the most retarded phenomenon in the world to me, and I don't get why I hear about it so often. If you have a problem with dating a dancer, DON'T date a dancer! If your bf is a schmuck who won't let you dance, don't date the schmuck.... It's your job. Why does he get any say? And an "allowance"? Really? Are you 12 years old? Teenagers get allowances - adults are free to do whatever the fuck they please for their OWN money.

    Thirdly - threatening you that if you start, he'll come in and spend a bunch on another girl? Just.... wtf? That's beyond controlling and really mean and manipulative. But otherwise.... who cares? Say, fine, go ahead. At that point, he shouldn't be your bf anymore. Let him blow his money on someone else just to prove a point - hey, you made some other girl's night better, and if he's not your bf anymore, he wouldn't spend on you anyway so it's not like he's taking any money away from you. And you'll be back to making much more money anyway and being happier with your life.

    This guy is beyond pathetic - I don't understand how people like this even get married, let alone remain married and obtain gfs on the side... Don't worry about having lost your regulars - I've seen lots of girls come back and their regulars were so excited to see them that they dumped their "new regular girl" in a minute.

    Unless your idea of a soulmate who "loves you" is a manipulative two-timing bastard who thinks it's ok to order you around, this guy is not your soulmate and he does not love you. PLEASE, get the fuck out of this relationship!

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    Featured Member sananeko's Avatar
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    Default Re: BF wont let me dance :(

    Is there anything in your head besides air.. or is that another part of the agreement you two have..

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    Default Re: BF wont let me dance :(

    Quote Originally Posted by sexiiqt123 View Post
    thanks ladies I really appreciate all the advice.. He did kinda promise to give me his older car and maybe a few surgieries (should I stick it out till I get that?). And I know he has money because he spends alot when we go out. been on his boat and to a few of his properties. I really do love him alot too and I know he loves me. We are probably soul mates. We have alot of fun together and he does alot of nice things for me. He doesnt mind if I have a job, just says stripping isnt respectable...
    Respectable?...RESPECTABLE?!! Being legally married with an 8-month-old and dating a girl you met AT the strip club is hardly respectable, so I wouldn't really listen to much of what he says on the subject of respectability.

    He sounds like he's tailoring you for a relationship in which he controls and manipulates everything about you. You can get customers to buy you cars and surgeries and shit. Or you can just save up and have the satisfaction of knowing you paid for every last cent of it all.

    Seriously, fuck this dude. Hightail it out of there, quick.

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    Duh Re: BF wont let me dance :(

    Quote Originally Posted by sexiiqt123 View Post
    thanks ladies I really appreciate all the advice.. He did kinda promise to give me his older car and maybe a few surgieries (should I stick it out till I get that?). And I know he has money because he spends alot when we go out. been on his boat and to a few of his properties. I really do love him alot too and I know he loves me. We are probably soul mates. We have alot of fun together and he does alot of nice things for me. He doesnt mind if I have a job, just says stripping isnt respectable...
    I think we're done here. Looks like you've already made up your mind.

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    Default Re: BF wont let me dance :(

    Soul mates? LMAO.

    He's keeping you as a side amusement. He's showing you the sizzle but no steak. He tells you that you can't dance, but has no problem with you killing yourself at 3 crap jobs. He's saying lots of sweet things to you, no doubt, but actually doing nothing in the way of a real commitment.

    You said you were dating him since November. So where was he on Christmas day? Was he with you or with his wife and kid? I'm guessing that I know the answer to that one...

    In any event, good luck.

  38. #24
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    Default Re: BF wont let me dance :(

    He's a control freak. You're a wuss for falling for it. Ditch him and put your heels back on.
    Exotic dancing is like any other job.
    If you work in an office, you wear dress shoes and a suit.
    If you work in a restaraunt, you wear skid resistant shoes and a uniform.
    If you work in a strip club, you wear 7" stilettos and lycra g-strings.

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    Default Re: BF wont let me dance :(

    Hes still married, has a kid, and not really with you.

    Break up and go your own way.

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