This is a bit of a drama thread so please excuse.
I have been dating my SO for a while now. We have actually know each other for years but been in and out of contact. We ended up together six months ago and things have recently become quite serious and I finally decided to be a good girl and settle down. No more dating lots of guys blah blah blah.
My SO has pressured me somewhat into breaking off all contact with the exes who still want a piece of me which is fair enough. I can understand him not wanting my drinking buddies to be the boys who would like to take me home for a bit of screwing once we finish our screwdrivers. I respectfully told them I would be unable to spend time alone with them anymore and it would have to be purely platonic or nothing and that I understood if platonic was not realistic, but the flirting would have to be massively turned down, which some of them admitted they wouldnt be able to do. I lost a few friends but really it was no big deal. I'm a straightforward person and I dont like to mess around. If I am committing to my boyfriend then I am going to do it right.
My boyfriend is shy and socially anxious and kind of the opposite to me but it just works. We get along just great. However he is a musical genius and currently in a band gigging all over the place and there is this one girl who has a huge thing for him and she is just causing so many problems right now.
She is friends with the band and dated the guitarist years ago and is sort of like an unofficial band member. Shes not pretty at all in all honesty and in that respect I was not at all threatened, however she is incredibly manipulative and its getting to me a lot now.
My partner introduced me to her at the first gig I went to and she took an instant dislike to me even though at the time he and i were just friends. We arent into pdas and truthfully I felt kind of sorry for her so I tried really hard to be friends and be nice. Not even being fake, like sincerely I wanted us to be friends because she was the only other person there on some days! Anyway she started blanking me and just being really flippant whenever i spoke and I started to think "Wow she really seems like she hates me"
The drummer then had to tell me one day that she was really down and struggling with me and my boy being together and so it would be best if i didnt come to the after gig meals for a while because it upset her too much.
It was then i realised that it wasnt just my boy she wanted, its the whole band. They all used to like me, we were all college friends, but slowly she turned the drummer and guitarist on me saying how i was always flaunting myself all over the place and its sad that the boy would be with such a "girly girl" (I am so ungirly its ridiculous). That was the second time the pennt dropped. She was one of those "Girls just dont like me because im just one of the boys!" girls. And they are all stupid enough to go along with it.
It's all coming to a head now because this stupid woman has been putting snarky crap all over my partners facebook relating to anything i say. She still wont acknowledge my existence anywhere outside of facebook, shes's still bitching about me to the rest of the band and she actually went so far as to come up to my boyfriends sister, who had her arm around me at the time as we were swaying along to the music and deliberately spoke to just his sister and wouldnt respond when i directly spoke to her myself. It's just really pissing me off and I'm now debating whether or not to give him an ultimatum.
It's such childish drama and i dont want any part of it. I have deleted her and blocked her from things but i have to see her all the time and my boyfriend has never once said anything to her because hes completely non confrontational. However if roles were reversed you can bet i would be sticking up for him so im kind of getting tired of that bullshit. What would you do? Am I being stupid? Is she a bitch or am i being over sensitive? I have never had a problem like this before blessedly, and I just want some perspective from other women aside from my insane mother.
Thanks
x




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