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Thread: Confused. Not girlfriend material, BUT ...

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    Veteran Member Billabong's Avatar
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    Default Confused. Not girlfriend material, BUT ...

    Ok here's something I've noticed about myself and dating. Men I am interested in "don't want a serious girlfriend right now". They just wanna have fun. I may or may not have fun with them, but it never fails that a month or two later they are in a serious relationship with a girl, but would still be willing to sleep with me.

    I talked to an old FWB last night who 3 months ago was "way too busy for a girlfriend" as he brought up in casual conversation. I wasn't having much luck with getting a boyfriend so we became FWB to tide myself over sexually and it was amazing then suddenly he disappeared for the past 2 months. Well, I contacted him yesterday just to say hi and he tells me he has a serious girlfriend now. "Wow", I think, "She must be really special that he made time for her and has given her that title. So I said "Congrats!"

    But then he comes back with "You miss me? I miss what we had a lot. I loved fucking you you have the best pussy I've ever felt, youre so freaky blah blah blah. You just have something she doesn't and she doesn't ever have to know about us. Wanna hook up again?"

    This happens to me again and again and again and I just don't get it. Men will say I'm hot, beautiful, fun, and those I have sex with say I'm so great yet they have an excuse not to make me their girlfriend. Just "fun" But then immediately after me they become serious with someone else, so I assume she's something great, but they claim she's missing something and would like to cheat on her, but NOT break up with her.

    I just can't comprehend it. What's the point?

    And as far as me not being GF material I'm learning to accept that there's something wrong with me or how I look and I'll always be alone or fucked over.
    Honestly, maybe my boobs are too big. Maybe just I look too sexy and cheap no matter what I wear or do and men only see me as sex. Even if I don't have sex with them they get bored and leave. I'm also very shy and it takes me awhile to open up, so I think they assume I have no personality and nothing to say. I can't change that because when I try to force myself to be more talkative and out going it comes off as fake. I'm stuck and I give up. Some will choose the trashiest, scummiest, most useless girl over me. It's happened before. Even they have something I don't.

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    Featured Member MarvelGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confused. Not girlfriend material, BUT ...

    You're dating assholes. It's not their new girlfriends or you who are lacking something, it's them. Do you really want to be the chick they cheat on?

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    Default Re: Confused. Not girlfriend material, BUT ...

    Wow, I feel like I could've written this post! lol - true story, this is exactly how I felt about all my past guys/hook-ups. I'm still not completely sure about where I was going wrong but I'll try to impart some stuff I think I've figured out and come to terms with.

    Generally, when guys say "I'm not looking for a relationship right now" they just "aren't that into you." There's a difference between wanting to fuck someone, and even thinking they're cool to hang out with, and wanting to date them. I used to use the "I don't date" line on every guy that asked me out that I wasn't interested in. And now a couple of them are mad at me because I'm currently dating someone. "I'm not looking for a relationship" translates to "I'm not looking for a relationship with you." Harsh, I know, but it's the truth and the sooner you realize that, the easier it will be get away from these guys.

    Don't think about the other girl that comes after you "being something special" - they're no more special than you. You just weren't the right fit for that guy, but rather than cast you completely aside, he kept you dangling along for some easy sex while using the "I don't want a relationship" line. That just makes him a jerk. Instead of sticking around to be the FWB, be just friends. If he doesn't want to take that deal, he clearly just wants sex and you should cut him loose. Even though you say that you get into these casual sex flings "just to curb your sexual desires" you clearly are still hoping it would be more and feel rejected when they leave that psuedo-relationship to be with someone else in the way you wanted to be with them. If you know deep down that you really do like them, and it's not "just sex" and you'll be upset if they start dating someone else, then don't try to be FWBs with them. Remember - "I don't want a relationship" means "I don't want a relationship with you" so it will never change, but he will eventually leave to date someone else that he does want a relationship with.

    I know it still kinda seems like you weren't "good enough" to be the gf and she is. But don't think of it that way. I'm sure you didn't like every guy that's ever liked you. So consequently, not every guy you like will like you. It sucks, but you can't be everybody's dreamgirl. The difference between you and these guys is that if you don't like someone, you probably let them down and stop talking to them - these guys figure that you're hot and as long as they just play the "welllll, I'm not ready for a relationship" card, they can keep you around for some non-committed fun. That just makes them skeezy and has nothing to do with how "good" you are.

    Because you were never more than sex to them, they will keep treating you like nothing more than sex. To a lot of guys, sex is separate from their relationship. They want their gf to be their "official gf" but they still think about the NSA fun they had with you because that's all it ever was with them. My ex-bf did that to me for months. He was dating some other girl that he was "madly in love with" but always "missed me so much" and wanted to cheat on her with me and "she didn't have to find out." This was usually during the times that they were fighting. In these guys' minds, their gf can be a hassle because they're actually serious with her - but you were never serious - you were FUN and a non-commitment. So they want to use you as their escape.

    The problem isn't that you're "not gf material" - the problem is that you waste too much time with guys that don't want to date you. If a guy clearly isn't interested in being your bf, move on. You'll never meet the guys who want to be your bf if you're wasting all your time hanging out with the guys who will never date you. Not only are you making yourself less available, but you're crushing your self-esteem needlessly at the same time, making it harder and harder to find someone decent to date who will see you as confident and independent. It sometimes takes awhile to find someone you like who likes you back - I've been there. But your chances will be much higher when you stop wasting time on guys who clearly aren't interested and just make you feel like crap with their stupid games.

    I know that was long but your post really reminds me of my own feelings so I hope my insight helps.

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    Default Re: Confused. Not girlfriend material, BUT ...

    ^ Good Response. I don't know. I'm kind of the same way. I get asked out a lot ( now that I've stopped hiding out at home ) , but I've already encountered the whole " not ready for a relationship three times in 10 months ".
    My theory is this :
    Basically .... men prefer multiple sexual partners concurrently. This kind of freaks me out because I'm so scared of std's .... but some of them simply won't bend on it. You can either choose to accept it or choose to find another guy who is ok with monogamy. If your heart is hurting because he won't be with just you .... you have got to move on ( I had to about 6 weeks ago ).
    You kind of have to catch a guy when he IS ready for a relationship . I'm not sure what to advise. It basically my little chip on my shoulder that you are describing! I get so tired of men just kind of "floating" and offering nothing relationship wise.
    I am just up front that I do want a relationship and I don't have sex outside a boyfriend / girlfriend monogamous relationship. This tends to weed the ones who want casual out pretty quickly.

    I guess that I just don't "get it " . Is it really their long term plan to just kind of bop around and date / sleep with different women ? I get attached easily so I have a really hard time understand this. I do notice though that once I get a guy into the " ok, he's really gorgeous , and now I'm ok with not getting a relationship " category ..... it can be fun. I am always on the lookout for a boyfriend though!

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    Veteran Member Billabong's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confused. Not girlfriend material, BUT ...

    Yeah I guess that answers my question of why some men do this. Some dudes are just assholes.

    I wasn't always interested in every guy who has done this, such as the FWB I used as an example so I'm not upset he has a girlfriend, but the fact that he now has a girlfriend when he gave me a line a few months ago is what got me thinkin. I'd never wanna be any of these guys' gfs if they wanna cheat.

    I just notice that dudes will chase me hard and when they finally get a date with me they tell me at some point within the first or second date "I'm not into anything serious. I just wanna have fun".
    Typically I will move on and within a month they'll have a serious girlfriend. Half of them will want sex from me, but will make it clear that they will still be with their girlfriend and I will still be just a fuck. Of course it hurts my self esteem because I don't get chances past 2 dates with anyone and I can't help but wonder what's wrong with me when it happens again and again and again. I don't see that I'm doing anything wrong except maybe I'm not outgoing enough or something. I'm just a shy girl, so I probably seem boring.
    I wear nice clothes, not always revealing, maybe a sweater, skinny jeans and flats, so I wonder if I just somehow unintentionally look like a slut or something that sex is all men want from me. And of course if I tell them I cam on the side then forget about it!

    There are tons of other guys who do like me that I have absolutely no interest in. They may have no life goals, may be very unattractive, too old, too creepy, too many kids. Meanwhile the ones who are totally my type and I like either have absolutely no interest in me or don't want me for more than sex.

    This is why I'm starting to give up. I'm 26 and my last serious relationship was when I was 16-20. Technically I am with the father of my child, but he's in prison (and allowed an open relationship), so it doesn't feel like a real relationship and I'm rethinking carrying on with him. Especially since his good for nothing ex (married, tons of kids, living off welfare, refuses to work, didn't finish school) is trying to creep back in and I swear to god if even he dumps me for her I will need suicide watch.

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    Default Re: Confused. Not girlfriend material, BUT ...

    I don't have anything to add. I hope everyone can find someone suitable.

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    Default Re: Confused. Not girlfriend material, BUT ...

    "I'm not looking for a relationship right now" just means "i want to fuck you with no commitments". That the guys want to cheat on their girlfriends with you means something is making you attracted to assholes, figure out what that is and fix it. Edit: "Technically I am with the father of my child, but he's in prison (and allowed an open relationship)" this right here sounds no different than "im not looking for anything serious, i just want to have fun" to me.
    "Well done. Here are the test results: You are a horrible person. I'm serious, that's what it says: 'A horrible person.' We weren't even testing for that."

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    Default Re: Confused. Not girlfriend material, BUT ...

    I used to run into this problem A LOT. I gave up sex and you know what? I get a different type of man. I am going to state this and this is true, but if you give sex too early most men will think of you as nothing but a playtoy. This is true if they know you are dancing. This is why I learned not to tell guys right away about it and no sex until it was a committed relationship. Want to hear something though? The best boyfriend I ever had we NEVER had sex and dated many months. He was very much the no sex until marriage guy and we still chat (he's married now and a father). I know people will say they had sex on a first date and married, but these seem to be exceptions. I learned this the hard way and that is guys who like you for a relationship will wait. Double standards suck but they are still out there.

    Quote Originally Posted by Billabong View Post
    There are tons of other guys who do like me that I have absolutely no interest in. They may have no life goals, may be very unattractive, too old, too creepy, too many kids. Meanwhile the ones who are totally my type and I like either have absolutely no interest in me or don't want me for more than sex.

    This is why I'm starting to give up. I'm 26 and my last serious relationship was when I was 16-20. Technically I am with the father of my child, but he's in prison (and allowed an open relationship), so it doesn't feel like a real relationship and I'm rethinking carrying on with him. Especially since his good for nothing ex (married, tons of kids, living off welfare, refuses to work, didn't finish school) is trying to creep back in and I swear to god if even he dumps me for her I will need suicide watch.
    Your ex sounds like trash and his ex definitely is. You deserve better. I completely understand having a hard time finding men because it is hard. The guys I always like didn't like me and I didn't like the guys who liked me. This is still happening but to some extent I am to blame. I was all about the looks and rejected unattractive men. Now though I am keeping my options open on this.

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    Default Re: Confused. Not girlfriend material, BUT ...

    Quote Originally Posted by Trem View Post
    "I'm not looking for a relationship right now" just means "i want to fuck you with no commitments". That the guys want to cheat on their girlfriends with you means something is making you attracted to assholes, figure out what that is and fix it. Edit: "Technically I am with the father of my child, but he's in prison (and allowed an open relationship)" this right here sounds no different than "im not looking for anything serious, i just want to have fun" to me.

    and apparently criminals....


    Maybe go a little outside of your comfort zone on who you would consider dating....Relationships with criminals and assholes dont usually end well....

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    Veteran Member Billabong's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confused. Not girlfriend material, BUT ...

    Quote Originally Posted by Trem View Post
    "I'm not looking for a relationship right now" just means "i want to fuck you with no commitments". That the guys want to cheat on their girlfriends with you means something is making you attracted to assholes, figure out what that is and fix it. Edit: "Technically I am with the father of my child, but he's in prison (and allowed an open relationship)" this right here sounds no different than "im not looking for anything serious, i just want to have fun" to me.
    But I also said I'm reconsidering my relationship with him. Since we are in an open relationship sometimes I date casually and for fun I do not deny that. I did say in the post that you quoted I wasn't always interested in every single man who gave me this excuse, but I had noticed a trend.

    However, I always keep the possibility open of finding someone a better fit for me than my bf. I love him very much, but I'm unsure of keeping this going.

    Quote Originally Posted by lemiwinks31 View Post
    and apparently criminals....


    Maybe go a little outside of your comfort zone on who you would consider dating....Relationships with criminals and assholes dont usually end well....
    That's not fair to say. I had no idea he would commit an offense several years after I had met him. I'm not attracted to criminals, but I do love someone who is currently incarcerated. There's a difference.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kellydancer View Post
    I used to run into this problem A LOT. I gave up sex and you know what? I get a different type of man. I am going to state this and this is true, but if you give sex too early most men will think of you as nothing but a playtoy. This is true if they know you are dancing. This is why I learned not to tell guys right away about it and no sex until it was a committed relationship. Want to hear something though? The best boyfriend I ever had we NEVER had sex and dated many months. He was very much the no sex until marriage guy and we still chat (he's married now and a father). I know people will say they had sex on a first date and married, but these seem to be exceptions. I learned this the hard way and that is guys who like you for a relationship will wait. Double standards suck but they are still out there.



    Your ex sounds like trash and his ex definitely is. You deserve better. I completely understand having a hard time finding men because it is hard. The guys I always like didn't like me and I didn't like the guys who liked me. This is still happening but to some extent I am to blame. I was all about the looks and rejected unattractive men. Now though I am keeping my options open on this.
    Thanks Kelly, I always enjoy your relationship posts because you remind me so much of me! I try to keep an open mind looks wise too, and I am willing to try out someone who is decent, but there are some people who just make my stomach turn when I look at them and I can't overlook that lol!

    And yeah after the last person I dated 4 months ago's demeanor totally changed when I told him what I do and he called me a "prostitute porn star" I have decided to not tell anyone I cam or phone for as long as I can.

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    Moderator Aurora_Sunset's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confused. Not girlfriend material, BUT ...

    Quote Originally Posted by Billabong View Post
    I wasn't always interested in every guy who has done this, such as the FWB I used as an example so I'm not upset he has a girlfriend, but the fact that he now has a girlfriend when he gave me a line a few months ago is what got me thinkin. I'd never wanna be any of these guys' gfs if they wanna cheat.
    Yeah, I understand. I used to feel that way a lot. I felt like I was always that girl right before the girl he actually wanted to date. Like I was a springboard to "get back on his feet." For guys that I was actually kinda close to and helped through problems, and then they'd tell me how great I was but then leave to date someone else, I felt like I was the one who "fixed" them to be in a relationship with someone else without all the baggage that I had to put up with and coach him through. lol Then again, you never know if you were actually the one right before the real relationship happened. For all you know, he had other girls dangling along on the side during or after you that he was feeding this same line to.

    But if he says he's not looking for a relationship, just remember, it's his way of saying he's not looking for a relationship with you, without actually using those last 2 words cuz that would sound really mean coming out of his mouth. I always remember this from back when I was complaining about the exact same thing to one of my friends and she said "Yeah, he just didn't want a relationship with you. But I think everybody would want to be with someone that they really liked. Who doesn't? People just use that line when they haven't met that person they actually want to give up their single-freedom to be with yet."

    I'm a really shy person too. But when I click with someone, it just works. I'm sure when you find someone that you really connect with, you'll feel more comfortable around him than normal guys and he'll like you for you. And as far as guys going after stupid girls instead of you - just remember, there a ton of girls that go after assholes - the same applies for guys. Human beings in general can have bad taste and pick stupid people over the quality ones for whatever-the-hell reason they have. It's nothing to do with you - they're the ones messed up.

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    Veteran Member Billabong's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confused. Not girlfriend material, BUT ...

    Quote Originally Posted by Aurora_Sunset View Post
    Yeah, I understand. I used to feel that way a lot. I felt like I was always that girl right before the girl he actually wanted to date. Like I was a springboard to "get back on his feet." For guys that I was actually kinda close to and helped through problems, and then they'd tell me how great I was but then leave to date someone else, I felt like I was the one who "fixed" them to be in a relationship with someone else without all the baggage that I had to put up with and coach him through. lol Then again, you never know if you were actually the one right before the real relationship happened. For all you know, he had other girls dangling along on the side during or after you that he was feeding this same line to.

    But if he says he's not looking for a relationship, just remember, it's his way of saying he's not looking for a relationship with you, without actually using those last 2 words cuz that would sound really mean coming out of his mouth. I always remember this from back when I was complaining about the exact same thing to one of my friends and she said "Yeah, he just didn't want a relationship with you. But I think everybody would want to be with someone that they really liked. Who doesn't? People just use that line when they haven't met that person they actually want to give up their single-freedom to be with yet."

    I'm a really shy person too. But when I click with someone, it just works. I'm sure when you find someone that you really connect with, you'll feel more comfortable around him than normal guys and he'll like you for you. And as far as guys going after stupid girls instead of you - just remember, there a ton of girls that go after assholes - the same applies for guys. Human beings in general can have bad taste and pick stupid people over the quality ones for whatever-the-hell reason they have. It's nothing to do with you - they're the ones messed up.
    Thanks so much. I wanna give you a huge hug for your posts lol. It's such a relief to see some other people can relate between this thread and the "I always get dumped" thread I just read, because for the longest time I thought I was the only one and there's something specifically wrong with me. I always get told/asked "You're so pretty, smart, nice. Why are you still single? I would think most men would kill to be with you" and I hate it. Just rubs it in.

    Most women I have seen or known have no problem jumping from serious relationship to serious relationship and then theres me. I've only had one serious relationship and maybe 3 short term relationships (2-3 months) in my life. I've dated alot, but it's never been anything that lasted more than 2 dates.
    I recently realized it was much easier to find guys who wanted to be my REAL boyfriend and who actually liked me for me when I was a teenager and a virgin. Once I lost it everything started going downhill starting with the guy I lost it to. And it's not that I have sex with every single person I date. The FWB I mentioned is the only person I've had sex with in a year. So I don't even know, but I think it will help to stop bringing up what I do for a looooooooong while. In the past I have tried to be honest by the second date, but it seems no one can get past it. Wow! a Real life stripper/cam girl/ phone sex operator! And that overrides anything else about me.

    I don't have a type, nor do I specifically try to date "assholes". I'm actually quite picky to AVOID assholes and I go with guys I mesh with and who seem nice and like gentleman at first, but as I said after the first date or two sometimes in them flips and they "aren't looking to be serious (with me)".

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    Default Re: Confused. Not girlfriend material, BUT ...

    Quote Originally Posted by Billabong View Post
    Thanks Kelly, I always enjoy your relationship posts because you remind me so much of me! I try to keep an open mind looks wise too, and I am willing to try out someone who is decent, but there are some people who just make my stomach turn when I look at them and I can't overlook that lol!

    And yeah after the last person I dated 4 months ago's demeanor totally changed when I told him what I do and he called me a "prostitute porn star" I have decided to not tell anyone I cam or phone for as long as I can.
    You're welcome and I feel the same. I read your posts and think "I did that years ago". People often wonder why I spout certain things but it's because I paid a heavy price years ago and slept with men right away. I am open when it comes to looks but yes there are still looks that repulse me, like big hairy guys, yuck.

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    Featured Member sananeko's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confused. Not girlfriend material, BUT ...

    Man: "I'm not ready for a relationship."
    Me: "Well then I'm not ready to have sex with you."

    For some odd reason they get this stunned look on their face..

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    Default Re: Confused. Not girlfriend material, BUT ...

    Quote Originally Posted by sananeko View Post
    Man: "I'm not ready for a relationship."
    Me: "Well then I'm not ready to have sex with you."

    For some odd reason they get this stunned look on their face..


    If more women held to their guns men wouldn't keep playing these games.

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    Default Re: Confused. Not girlfriend material, BUT ...

    Some women have sex because they actually want to have sex, not as a way to reach their goals.
    "Well done. Here are the test results: You are a horrible person. I'm serious, that's what it says: 'A horrible person.' We weren't even testing for that."

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    Default Re: Confused. Not girlfriend material, BUT ...

    Sadly to many men --dancer=whore which also equals undatable but fuckable I make men jump through hoops to prove themselves and many wouldnt want to bother and the few that do I take seriously Its painful to know how the majority of men view dancers, but there are the exceptions who can really fall for a girl despite any occupation.

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    Default Re: Confused. Not girlfriend material, BUT ...

    I'm often a traitor to my own gender on here, but what the hell....I'll do it again...

    Stop being "FWB" with guys. "FWB" to guys means "Free Hooker."

    Guys see you as a girl they can fuck. They don't see you as a girlfriend because you're just sex.

    I hate to put it that way...and god knows, FWB is a great arrangement for guys....but most guys don't want to marry their "FWB." They just want to fuck them.

    Sorry if that's blunt.

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    Default Re: Confused. Not girlfriend material, BUT ...

    Quote Originally Posted by Mr Hyde View Post
    I'm often a traitor to my own gender on here, but what the hell....I'll do it again...

    Stop being "FWB" with guys. "FWB" to guys means "Free Hooker."

    Guys see you as a girl they can fuck. They don't see you as a girlfriend because you're just sex.

    I hate to put it that way...and god knows, FWB is a great arrangement for guys....but most guys don't want to marry their "FWB." They just want to fuck them.

    Sorry if that's blunt.
    You are completely missing the point of the FWB arrangement.
    "Well done. Here are the test results: You are a horrible person. I'm serious, that's what it says: 'A horrible person.' We weren't even testing for that."

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    Veteran Member Billabong's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confused. Not girlfriend material, BUT ...

    Quote Originally Posted by Mr Hyde View Post
    I'm often a traitor to my own gender on here, but what the hell....I'll do it again...

    Stop being "FWB" with guys. "FWB" to guys means "Free Hooker."

    Guys see you as a girl they can fuck. They don't see you as a girlfriend because you're just sex.

    I hate to put it that way...and god knows, FWB is a great arrangement for guys....but most guys don't want to marry their "FWB." They just want to fuck them.

    Sorry if that's blunt.
    I don't wanna marry my FWB either lol. It was a great arrangement for us BOTH because at the time he was giving me what I needed and was doing a hella of a job at it. I already mentioned a few times that I was just using him as an example.

    I will explain again because I can see how my OP was not clear to what I meant. My issue is that I can go on a couple of dates with a guy, things will be going decent but by the second date they tell me they don't want anything serious, just fun. I typically won't have done anything with them, most likely not even a kiss, but they will tell me they're interested in having sex and usually I will say no. A month or so later they have a serious girlfriend. Half of the time if we have some sort of contact they will continue to express interest in having sex with me, but won't be willing to leave their girlfriend. They "love" her so she will remain the girlfriend and I would be just side sex.

    I've only had sex with maybe 2 guys who I wanted to be with and they told me they didn't want anything serious after (and of course got serious girlfriends after me), but I've since learned from that mistake.

    As Aurora put it I just feel like I'm never girlfriend material, always a springboard to launch them to some other girl. I'm good for sex and "fun", nothing more. I don't know why that is because even if I'm not having sex with them that's all they want from me so I figure its one of 3 things 1) They think I have no personality because I'm shy. 2) I just somehow look like a slut subconsciously 3) My job gives people the wrong impression.

  29. #21
    God/dess Mr Hyde's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confused. Not girlfriend material, BUT ...

    Quote Originally Posted by Trem View Post
    You are completely missing the point of the FWB arrangement.
    I don't think so. Very few women can handle this sort of arrangement. Most *think* they can, but few really can.

    Don't get me wrong....I love that sort of thing as much as the next guy...and I'm not saying that this one thing will cause her dating life to be solved...but when girls get in those sort of situations, they BECOME that situation.

  30. #22
    Veteran Member Billabong's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confused. Not girlfriend material, BUT ...

    Quote Originally Posted by Mr Hyde View Post
    I don't think so. Very few women can handle this sort of arrangement. Most *think* they can, but few really can.

    Don't get me wrong....I love that sort of thing as much as the next guy...and I'm not saying that this one thing will cause her dating life to be solved...but when girls get in those sort of situations, they BECOME that situation.
    Read my post above. FWB is NOT my problem. lol It was completely mutual not something I was coerced into. Women can successfully have this arrangement as well as men can.

    I was actually the one who came to him and asked him to be my FWB. We were discussing during pillow talk why this arrangement was great for us and he told me his reason was because he was way too busy to have a girlfriend, but 2 months later he now has a girlfriend, but still would like to be sleeping with me. I don't want to be his girlfriend at all, but it made me think.

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    Default Re: Confused. Not girlfriend material, BUT ...

    Quote Originally Posted by Mr Hyde View Post
    I don't think so. Very few women can handle this sort of arrangement. Most *think* they can, but few really can.

    Don't get me wrong....I love that sort of thing as much as the next guy...and I'm not saying that this one thing will cause her dating life to be solved...but when girls get in those sort of situations, they BECOME that situation.
    That's why women need to pick their FWBs carefully. In the past I had a married FWB and a few guys I wasn't hot for (or knew I couldn't be with). That's why I never got upset when it ended (and it does). However, when I slept with a man I cared about, or even loved and he didn't feel the same it hurt.

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    Default Re: Confused. Not girlfriend material, BUT ...

    you let these guys walk all over you. lay down the line and tell them it's all or nothing. you deserve better.

  33. #25
    Veteran Member Billabong's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confused. Not girlfriend material, BUT ...

    Quote Originally Posted by xGigi View Post
    you let these guys walk all over you. lay down the line and tell them it's all or nothing. you deserve better.

    I'm not having sex with them though. That's the problem. I'm tired of being told after a couple of dates they want sex not a girlfriend and then a couple months later they have a girlfriend. I usually move on after they tell me this, but it sucks to have this happen date after date after date. Its like I'm not good enough to be anyone's girlfriend, I'm only seen as a sex object, but other girls who aren't me are worth more. It's been hard to figure out what's "wrong" with me no matter who I date.

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