Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 36

Thread: Boyfriend dumped me! :-(

  1. #1
    Featured Member JoJoX's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    1,698
    Thanks
    1,351
    Thanked 4,248 Times in 1,017 Posts
    My Mood
    Psychedelic

    Default Boyfriend dumped me! :-(

    Well, it's only been 20 minutes so I'm not sure if he means it or not.

    I love what I do. I love this industry- ever since I was a little girl I was always admiring beautiful women wanted to be like them. I have drawings back when 12 or 13 of beautiful female forms. I also participated in alot of nude art and photography...and then came dancing. I love it. I love the luxuries of life it brings me, I love my freedom and I love expressing myself. This is me.

    I met my guy while dancing, I told him upfront about my likings and he was fine.

    Today I bought a new camera and he asked me, whats that for? I said I wanted it for my future adult blog and whatever else comes to mind. He wents nuts on me and made me choose between this and him. I chose this. I refuse to comprimise my happiness for anybody- not even my mom. I am a firm believer in, you live no one else life but your own, being true to yourself and living your dream- simply because life is short. And it's even shorter when you live up to someone elses standards.

    I am heartbroken because I really thought I'd marry him and cared for him deeply. (plus he's real good in bed and i cant get that out of my head either)

    Am I wrong? Would you choose the one you love over your passions or the other way around? Women around the world are putting their passions on hold for love...but you never see men doing it!

  2. #2
    Featured Member lemiwinks31's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2007
    Posts
    1,338
    Thanks
    247
    Thanked 1,580 Times in 667 Posts

    Default Re: Boyfriend dumped me! :-(

    Quote Originally Posted by JoJoX View Post
    I said I wanted it for my future adult blog and whatever else comes to mind. He wents nuts on me and made me choose between this and him. I chose this.

    Sounds like a good choice

  3. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to lemiwinks31 For This Useful Post:


  4. #3
    Featured Member JoJoX's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    1,698
    Thanks
    1,351
    Thanked 4,248 Times in 1,017 Posts
    My Mood
    Psychedelic

    Default Re: Boyfriend dumped me! :-(

    its so hard because i love him so much. i want to be with him bad but like i said, i think its more important to follow my passion.

  5. #4
    Moderator Aurora_Sunset's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2011
    Posts
    6,430
    Thanks
    19,846
    Thanked 18,507 Times in 4,919 Posts
    My Mood
    Breezy

    Default Re: Boyfriend dumped me! :-(

    If he doesn't support your passions, he clearly doesn't love you - he loves his idealized version of you and if you fuck with his "dream girl" he flips. I think you totally made the right choice. He knew he was dating an adult entertainer. If he can't handle it, then you should set him free to find someone who will follow all his rules.

  6. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Aurora_Sunset For This Useful Post:


  7. #5
    Senior Member MiaStarr's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Your lap.
    Posts
    184
    Thanks
    336
    Thanked 104 Times in 59 Posts
    My Mood
    Blah

    Default Re: Boyfriend dumped me! :-(

    Quote Originally Posted by JoJoX View Post
    Am I wrong? Would you choose the one you love over your passions or the other way around? Women around the world are putting their passions on hold for love...but you never see men doing it!
    You're not wrong! Well done for keeping true to yourself! It shows your high self-worth and it is this quality that will help attract a man in your life one day who will be more willing to love you truly and support you in your ambitions & desires.

    True love is not jealous & possesive. Relationships require effort, honesty, trust, respect, open-minds and compromise. If you don't have this with your SO then you probably weren't truly meant to be together.

    My husband and I are married 11 years now. We have our ups & downs like any marriage but there's nothing in Heaven or Earth that can seperate us, and we've been through some sh*t! We love, trust and support each other implicitly - quirks, warts 'n all.

    Maybe it helps that we both got married "late" so we both brought some experience & maturity to the table.
    Last edited by MiaStarr; 07-08-2011 at 02:00 PM.

  8. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to MiaStarr For This Useful Post:


  9. #6
    God/dess laurielegs's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2010
    Location
    USA, northeast
    Posts
    7,317
    Thanks
    30,600
    Thanked 17,691 Times in 5,185 Posts

    Default Re: Boyfriend dumped me! :-(

    Quote Originally Posted by JoJoX View Post
    its so hard because i love him so much. i want to be with him bad but like i said, i think its more important to follow my passion.
    It's definitely hard, and your feelings of love are real, but his obviously were not.

    That relationship was not only holding you back from being who you are, it's also holding you back from being with a man who really does truly love you and can be secure enough to be comfortable with your choices.

  10. The Following User Says Thank You to laurielegs For This Useful Post:


  11. #7
    Moderator unbeleavable's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Atl
    Posts
    3,429
    Thanks
    4,881
    Thanked 2,349 Times in 1,220 Posts

    Default Re: Boyfriend dumped me! :-(

    It sounds to me that your buying a camera may have set off a alarm in his head for a long term commitment to adult entertainment. You just need to talk about goals & life. He may have thought your job was just a phase & now realizes different.

  12. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to unbeleavable For This Useful Post:


  13. #8
    Banned SweetNaughty's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    236
    Thanks
    49
    Thanked 57 Times in 44 Posts

    Default Re: Boyfriend dumped me! :-(

    "The truth will set you free." - anonymous

  14. #9
    Veteran Member
    Joined
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    455
    Thanks
    53
    Thanked 175 Times in 109 Posts

    Default Re: Boyfriend dumped me! :-(

    He will be back I think.

  15. The Following User Says Thank You to mikef For This Useful Post:


  16. #10
    Featured Member JoJoX's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    1,698
    Thanks
    1,351
    Thanked 4,248 Times in 1,017 Posts
    My Mood
    Psychedelic

    Default Re: Boyfriend dumped me! :-(

    The thanks I gave were real thanks, not "thanks for posting." Each and every one of your worlds really helped me in this.

  17. #11
    Featured Member JoJoX's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    1,698
    Thanks
    1,351
    Thanked 4,248 Times in 1,017 Posts
    My Mood
    Psychedelic

    Default Re: Boyfriend dumped me! :-(

    Quote Originally Posted by mikef View Post
    He will be back I think.
    lmao was thinking the same

  18. #12
    God/dess laurielegs's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2010
    Location
    USA, northeast
    Posts
    7,317
    Thanks
    30,600
    Thanked 17,691 Times in 5,185 Posts

    Default Re: Boyfriend dumped me! :-(

    Quote Originally Posted by JoJoX View Post
    lmao was thinking the same
    They usually do come back, but the question is do you really really want him back, and why? Definitely think it through.

  19. The Following User Says Thank You to laurielegs For This Useful Post:


  20. #13
    Veteran Member
    Joined
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    455
    Thanks
    53
    Thanked 175 Times in 109 Posts

    Default Re: Boyfriend dumped me! :-(

    Quote Originally Posted by laurielegs View Post
    They usually do come back, but the question is do you really really want him back, and why? Definitely think it through.
    Love doesn't think...... It reacts..... Besides show me a couple that has not had some difficulty, and I'll show you people who keep things inside much too well.

  21. #14
    God/dess Arialandre's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2010
    Location
    British Columbia, Canada
    Posts
    2,895
    Thanks
    383
    Thanked 2,466 Times in 895 Posts

    Default Re: Boyfriend dumped me! :-(

    This is EXACTLY what I'm going through right now. *hugs*

  22. #15
    God/dess sammii's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2011
    Location
    United States
    Posts
    2,071
    Thanks
    5,793
    Thanked 4,328 Times in 1,404 Posts
    My Mood
    Angelic

    Default Re: Boyfriend dumped me! :-(

    I've always told my SO that if he ever wanted me to quit, that I would quit immediately. He hasn't ever asked me to quit, but he means a lot more to me than camming.

    And wtf? You met your guy while dancing and he made you choose? If he's dating a dancer, he should've known what he was getting himself into. I don't think you're wrong, because dancing is your passion. Camming isn't a passion of mine so that's why I'd quit if my SO asked me to.

    You should try to make him jealous. Like go somewhere where he will be, but with another guy. It will make him want you back even more.

  23. #16
    God/dess laurielegs's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2010
    Location
    USA, northeast
    Posts
    7,317
    Thanks
    30,600
    Thanked 17,691 Times in 5,185 Posts

    Default Re: Boyfriend dumped me! :-(

    Quote Originally Posted by sammii View Post
    I've always told my SO that if he ever wanted me to quit, that I would quit immediately. He hasn't ever asked me to quit, but he means a lot more to me than camming.

    And wtf? You met your guy while dancing and he made you choose? If he's dating a dancer, he should've known what he was getting himself into. I don't think you're wrong, because dancing is your passion. Camming isn't a passion of mine so that's why I'd quit if my SO asked me to.
    I wouldn't say it's a passion of mine either, but I do love working from home and the money is awesome. I probably would not quit unless I had a way to replace that income and still work from home, but then again my fella wouldn't ask me to do that either.

    Quote Originally Posted by sammii View Post
    You should try to make him jealous. Like go somewhere where he will be, but with another guy. It will make him want you back even more.
    I'm always genuinely puzzled at why a gorgeous woman would even want an insecure man like that though. (Especially when there are very secure, very hot men out there who will cherish you and treat you well. Maybe a little harder to find but well worth it when you do)!

  24. #17
    God/dess whirlerz's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2004
    Location
    Midwest
    Posts
    27,134
    Thanks
    55,898
    Thanked 26,028 Times in 13,271 Posts
    Blog Entries
    1
    My Mood
    Aggressive

    Default Re: Boyfriend dumped me! :-(

    Yes some good advice here. I would agree you made the right choice. He sound immature to me, & I think the camera set him off..if he wants you to quit so much, what does he offer as an alternative? You feel bad b/c you have geniune feelings for him, but in time you'll heal and can find better for you, accepting of you in all aspects. Good luck to you.


    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

    -Eartha Kitt

  25. #18
    Featured Member MarvelGirl's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Reality
    Posts
    1,351
    Thanks
    1,063
    Thanked 2,391 Times in 643 Posts

    Default Re: Boyfriend dumped me! :-(

    Quote Originally Posted by xoAnnaBanana View Post

    In my mind if a guy TRULY loves you, then he's just got to love and accept ALL of you-- no exceptions and no conditions. But if he does try to come back to you, you should try explaining to him that by giving him a chance, he's got to learn to love all of you.

    .
    Yes absolutely. Only bad people set any sort of conditions when it comes to the boundaries in their relationship with someone they love.

    That's probably why so many women on this board stay with men who cheat on them and beat them. They HAVE to love all of their man, even the fists and sexually transmitted diseases or it isn't TRUE LOVE.

    He's definitely a selfish asshole for having feelings and getting upset about his girlfriend taking on a new role in the adult industry. Hopefully one day you'll find a man with no feelings who won't care if you're getting gang banged in the living room right in front of him by his brothers. Then that'll be just perfect.

  26. #19
    Veteran Member innes's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    679
    Thanks
    452
    Thanked 353 Times in 201 Posts
    My Mood
    Psychedelic

    Default Re: Boyfriend dumped me! :-(

    Don't ditch your passions because of someone.
    When I told my bf about my camming and amateur porn, I was prepared to quit if he asked me to. But he didn't. And you know what? He would never ask me to quit. That's why I know he's a really good guy.

    It sounds like this guy may be back. He might have just made a rash decision and was uncomfortable with it for a bit. Why not? If he's worried about it for just a bit, don't worry about it. If he comes back to you and says sorry, that's fine.

    But I think you made the right decision

    <3
    InnesX

  27. #20
    Featured Member JoJoX's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    1,698
    Thanks
    1,351
    Thanked 4,248 Times in 1,017 Posts
    My Mood
    Psychedelic

    Default Re: Boyfriend dumped me! :-(

    thank you so much guys. it's only getting worst and worst with him- for example, i just made plans for a friends birthday and he thinks i'm on an escort call. a lot of times, his accusations are so crazy that i cant help but to laugh because it just seems soo un real! so maybe i should just leave him alone for awhile... other than this huge problem i love him to death.

    thank you guys hopefully he will be back.

    oh and as far as the making him jealous this- wow, he is already jealous enough. i see what youre saying sammie and would of done it with any other guy, not this one. he will cause a huge scene and will just go crazy incredible hulk. seriously.

    as an out sider looking in, i would tell the girl that this wont work because he's not open enough to accept one for who they are...but i love him so much that im going to hang on for a bit. it hurts really bad because he is my all right now.

  28. #21
    Featured Member MistyRose's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2010
    Location
    now|here
    Posts
    974
    Thanks
    1,463
    Thanked 1,693 Times in 501 Posts

    Default Re: Boyfriend dumped me! :-(

    If he's accusing you of escorting (when you don't) and other stuff you don't do, that doesn't mean he simply has a problem with you being in the adult industry, it means he doesn't trust you.

    Some people just can't handle it, which is perfectly alright. Not everyone can bear with having a partner in the adult industry, just like I probably wouldn't want to have a partner who's a Formula 1 driver or ultimate fighter...because I'd constantly be worried about their safety/health. It's personal preference, and doesn't mean I don't like those jobs at all, just that I'd prefer having a partner doing something else. (silly example, but hopefully you get what I'm trying to say)
    I think it's better to be without him, than having to fight about this for years on. This is your honeymoon period, imagine how bad the scenes get later. If you care about him more than about your work, then sure, pick him. I'm not even saying there's anything wrong with that....but your first instinct was to follow your passion rather than quit for him. If you DO choose him, be careful about him taking that as getting the upper hand and asking you to stop whatever else later on.

    Whatever you decide, hope it results in you being happy!

  29. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to MistyRose For This Useful Post:


  30. #22
    Banned Fridays's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    2,440
    Thanks
    5,169
    Thanked 4,889 Times in 1,426 Posts
    My Mood
    Daring

    Default Re: Boyfriend dumped me! :-(

    Quote Originally Posted by sammii View Post
    You should try to make him jealous. Like go somewhere where he will be, but with another guy. It will make him want you back even more.
    This does not work with every man out there.. I wish it did , its so easy to do it lol
    But some see this as disrespect and will not put up with it...

  31. #23
    Veteran Member Davey17's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2011
    Location
    Melbourne Australia and Bangkok Thailand
    Posts
    269
    Thanks
    95
    Thanked 42 Times in 38 Posts
    My Mood
    Fine

    Travel Re: Boyfriend dumped me! :-(

    Quote Originally Posted by JoJoX View Post
    Well, it's only been 20 minutes so I'm not sure if he means it or not.

    I love what I do. I love this industry- ever since I was a little girl I was always admiring beautiful women wanted to be like them. I have drawings back when 12 or 13 of beautiful female forms. I also participated in alot of nude art and photography...and then came dancing. I love it. I love the luxuries of life it brings me, I love my freedom and I love expressing myself. This is me.

    I met my guy while dancing, I told him upfront about my likings and he was fine.

    Today I bought a new camera and he asked me, whats that for? I said I wanted it for my future adult blog and whatever else comes to mind. He wents nuts on me and made me choose between this and him. I chose this. I refuse to comprimise my happiness for anybody- not even my mom. I am a firm believer in, you live no one else life but your own, being true to yourself and living your dream- simply because life is short. And it's even shorter when you live up to someone elses standards.

    I am heartbroken because I really thought I'd marry him and cared for him deeply. (plus he's real good in bed and i cant get that out of my head either)

    Am I wrong? Would you choose the one you love over your passions or the other way around? Women around the world are putting their passions on hold for love...but you never see men doing it!

    Jo Jo .... I think that this industry and Dance is so much a part of you it would be incredibly difficult to quit . It is however very difficult going out with a dancer ..Yes I know your boyfriend met you there , but it doesn't make it easier .

    You love him ..Forget the B/S of trying to take someone else to an area he hangs out in ..That Im sorry is very silly ..But somehow I dont believe its all over , but he wont come back no way .

    What kind of guy is going to say " Great " ..When you say .." Look at the new camera I purchased for Adult entertainment ? ..lol " ..he'd be an arsehole if he did that .

    You guys need to sit down together and have a long rational discussion about where you actually see your relationship headed ..he sounds to me like a guy that is worth fighting for ..Go tell him how you feel , and talk .

    I sincerely wish you Good Luck ..!
    Enjoy ... and Progress , Its all in the name of personal enjoyment

  32. The Following User Says Thank You to Davey17 For This Useful Post:


  33. #24
    Senior Member
    Joined
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    160
    Thanks
    9
    Thanked 58 Times in 38 Posts

    Default Re: Boyfriend dumped me! :-(

    If camming and dancing now and in the near future are more important to you than a possible life with him 20, 30 or 40 years from now than you made the right decision.

  34. #25
    Featured Member Spinnerette's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    1,033
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1,379 Times in 535 Posts

    Default Re: Boyfriend dumped me! :-(

    How does a man supporting the woman he's dating in her adult industry endeavors (something he knew about from the beginning) make him an areshole?

    I think his reaction is indicative to what kind of relationship it was going to be long-term. Who decides to get into a relationship with an adult performer they met on the job and gets mad when they continue their business as usual?

  35. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Spinnerette For This Useful Post:


Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. KEEP getting dumped
    By Katja1 in forum Life Support
    Replies: 92
    Last Post: 07-19-2011, 09:21 PM
  2. Just got dumped.
    By Yekhefah in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 21
    Last Post: 08-19-2005, 08:40 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •