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Thread: Hazing

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    Default Hazing

    ive got abt 6 wks before i can start workin as a dancer and im tryin to use this time to get as mentally prepped as possible an gather as much info as i can.

    anyway, one thing im expecting is that when im the new girl im gonna hav to go thru being treated crap for a bit by the other dancers, an while i can take whatever shit people throw at me i wanted to hear from people who know the industry so i know exactly what to expect. so if anyone wants to help out that would be awesome.

    what kinda things to girls do to haze the newbies?

    in general, how long until they give up an accept i wont leave?

    whats the best way of dealing with it? anything in particular i can do to limit how much shit i get?

    thanks for the help!

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    Default Re: Hazing

    I'm only going to advice on how to make it slow to a stop. Don't react to it. Don't roll your eyes when they are talking, don't talk back cause most of the time they will try to turn the whole group on you, just let them waste their time trying to bother you while you just go out there and make money.
    Last edited by sananeko; 07-11-2011 at 02:27 AM. Reason: my n and t didn't show..

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    Default Re: Hazing

    It really depends on the kind of club you get into. The first club I worked at, I was only a waitress but I was treated like shit by everyone, especially the dancers. I'm dancing in a different club now and the whole staff is completely different. I literally had people takin me by the hand and showin me things and givin me good tips. If they are givin you shit, don't take it. You gotta make sure they know your strong and confident. Your gonna be there to work, so get your money and don't worry about anyone else.

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    Default Re: Hazing

    Some clubs haze and some clubs don't. If it does happen be sure to remember that you are there to make money and the whole hazing process is just a phase=)

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    Default Re: Hazing

    Anything like that would never be tolerated at my club. Everyone is nice to the new girls. I personally dont go out of way to help them but I certainly would never be mean or hurt them.

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    Default Re: Hazing

    The BIGGEST piece of advice I can give you is to ask the manager to personally introduce you to a few of the girls. When you are personally introduced to multiple dancers it makes it easier to come in & start making making acquaintances on a friendly basis. Most managers won't introduce you to other dancers unless you ask though, so be sure to speak up! Try to get to the club early with your hair/makeup already done & spend as little time in the dressing room as possible. If you are in early their will be less customers, which makes for an easier environment to get to know people. If a dancer is sitting at the bar, sit in the bar stool nearby & introduce yourself to her. Be sure to talk to the bartender & waitresses, because they quickly spread the word about if the new dancer has a good personality or not.

    I don't know what it is with so many managers these days, but many think it's okay to just throw the new girl into the regular locker room with the other girls. Some of the smartest owners I know have separate locker rooms for new girls to use while they are in the "hazing" stage. They could be in the separate locker room for a week, or for a month or two... however long it takes before the manager sees that they are socializing well with the other girls. These are generally also the same rooms that the features end up using when they come into the clubs, or else they end up sharing the manager's office.

    As far a what the girls do during hazing:

    1. They might come sit down literally while you are with a customer, & take him away for a dance.

    2. Steal from you

    3. Dump stuff on your belongings

    4. Trash talk you to customers

    5. Try to pick fights with you in the dressing room, sometimes simply for you looking in the wrong direction.

    6. Ask to borrow everything under the sun (tends to be semi-established girls or drunk/high girls) then not return it or abuse the privilege

    7. Mislead you with bad advice

    8. Tell you it's okay to do something when its not. ALWAYS know the laws & if there is a question on a rule, ask the manager.


    I wouldn't suggest rolling your eyes to a girl who is established at the club... you could end up angering her more - which could get really nasty, especially if she's the type to throw a punch.
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    Default Re: Hazing

    Quote Originally Posted by Kylea2 View Post
    The BIGGEST piece of advice I can give you is to ask the manager to personally introduce you to a few of the girls. When you are personally introduced to multiple dancers it makes it easier to come in & start making making acquaintances on a friendly basis. Most managers won't introduce you to other dancers unless you ask though, so be sure to speak up! Try to get to the club early with your hair/makeup already done & spend as little time in the dressing room as possible. If you are in early their will be less customers, which makes for an easier environment to get to know people. If a dancer is sitting at the bar, sit in the bar stool nearby & introduce yourself to her. Be sure to talk to the bartender & waitresses, because they quickly spread the word about if the new dancer has a good personality or not.

    I don't know what it is with so many managers these days, but many think it's okay to just throw the new girl into the regular locker room with the other girls. Some of the smartest owners I know have separate locker rooms for new girls to use while they are in the "hazing" stage. They could be in the separate locker room for a week, or for a month or two... however long it takes before the manager sees that they are socializing well with the other girls. These are generally also the same rooms that the features end up using when they come into the clubs, or else they end up sharing the manager's office.

    As far a what the girls do during hazing:

    1. They might come sit down literally while you are with a customer, & take him away for a dance.

    2. Steal from you

    3. Dump stuff on your belongings

    4. Trash talk you to customers

    5. Try to pick fights with you in the dressing room, sometimes simply for you looking in the wrong direction.

    6. Ask to borrow everything under the sun (tends to be semi-established girls or drunk/high girls) then not return it or abuse the privilege

    7. Mislead you with bad advice

    8. Tell you it's okay to do something when its not. ALWAYS know the laws & if there is a question on a rule, ask the manager.


    I wouldn't suggest rolling your eyes to a girl who is established at the club... you could end up angering her more - which could get really nasty, especially if she's the type to throw a punch.
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    Default Re: Hazing

    Hazing? lol sorry that did make me laugh. You might get a few snide remarks, maybe just girls talking shit really loudly in the back, to make you feel uncomfortable, or even a couple girls who will say something about what you're wearing. Keep to yourself, ignore the haters they are just insecure. Not ALL girls in a SC are mean Just don't expect to go to work and make friends, go to make money. Lots of luck!
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    Default Re: Hazing

    At my first club, most of the girls kept to themselves and didn't really interact with me much, save for a handful that would exchange pleasantries. At my current club, almost all the girls were incredibly nice and welcoming, making chit chat right away when I started. I've never experienced hazing as a new dancer and that's something that wouldn't be tolerated at my current club, so it's not a universal newbie dancer experience. A good rule of thumb regardless of your club is to keep to yourself, spend as little time in the dressing room, and be polite but not overly friendly - above all, you are there to work, not make friends.

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    Default Re: Hazing

    thanks for the replies, girls! an yeah, i know im going to like, the worst possible scenario here but thats the point. i wanna be ready for anything jus in case it happens an then if it turns out all the girls are super luvly an friendly then no harm no foul.

    an i figure every new bit of info i know before i start will make that adapting period once i start that bit shorter. besides, i gotta do sumthing with my time atm

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    Default Re: Hazing

    Just speak when spoken to. That's what I do.
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    Default Re: Hazing

    The best thing to do as a new girl in the club is to lay low. Some girls will be nice, some girls will ignore you, and some might be a little mean. Remember - you are there to make money, not friends. Spend minimal time in the dressing room, and be polite when other girls talk to you but don't go out of your way to interact with them. In time, you will find the girls who will be your friendly "allies" at work, but at first just concentrate on doing your job well.

    It's not in your best interest to go in there and act overly friendly, trying to be everyone's best friend right away. On the other hand, it's not in your best interest to go in there with a defensive attitude, expecting everyone to give you a hard time. It probably won't be nearly as bad as you are building it up to be in your head.
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    Default Re: Hazing

    Quote Originally Posted by sananeko View Post
    Hey thanks. This damn key board sometimes doesn't know I hit the n, t, or ' keys.. And I fixed it.
    I was wondering! :-) Glad you fixed it.


    I used to operate just on the "lay low"/"don't talk" theory, but this new generation of dancers seems to be much different than the old. Back in the day girls minded their own business more. Over the years it's become a lot more catty, & the dancers are getting a lot more aggressive physically. I had something happen that is talked about elsewhere on this forum that really opened my eyes to the fact that we can't keep operating under the "just keep to yourself" theory. When you don't talk to people they start to assume the worst of you. If you try to be overly friendly the established entertainers can become annoyed. Having the managers help you start your professional interactions with co-workers is probably the best solution I've found.
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    Default Re: Hazing

    I've found being nice, polite, and quiet is the best way. Don't go out of you're way to make friends, but don't be bitchy either. When a girl approaches, be nice. Otherwise, mind your own business and work. Oh, and smile don't scowl or be otherwise unapproachable. Girls might think you're a bitch when you're really not.
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  24. #15
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    Default Re: Hazing

    Get in, make your money, get out. Spend as little time as possible in the DR, and avoid the diva strippers.

    As long as you're not stepping on anyone's toes, I doubt you'll be seriously hazed/messed with. Just take advice from other dancers with a grain of salt, and keep your stuff locked.

  25. #16
    Veteran Member Kat w's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hazing

    Agreed. Be nice, polite and speak when spoken to. It might seem sociable and friendly to chime in to a conversation about tanning but try not to for your first week or two. The only girl I have ever seen get hazed told the house mom that she thought she was the best looking dancer in the joint, don't do that.

    Good luck!

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    Default Re: Hazing

    I agree with "only speak when spoken to." I never really got "hazed" but it definitely took awhile for some girls to warm up to me. Just smile if you catch their eye but continue doing your job. Some girls will eventually warm up to you and start talking, others won't. If you think you're clicking with a girl and you end up being wrong, just back off. When I first started, I thought this one girl was really cool. I ended up not being on the same shift as her again for a couple weeks and when I walked in and saw her again, I was like "Oh hey! Haven't seen you in awhile" and tried to be all friendly. She basically sneered and me and asked "Do I know you?" in the bitchiest tone possible. I quickly learned to just back off and wait for people to talk to me first.

    Make sure your stuff is locked up, don't get sucked into the drama you hear other girls talking about (and trust me, there will be a lot of it). Avoid the DR as much as possible. I often didn't even see most of the drama that went down (only heard about it) because I refused to be in the DR very long during the night. If a girl does start telling you about her drama, especially if it's with another dancer, just nod your head and get away as quickly as possible. It's not worth it to "pick sides" when you're new. And don't get defensive when they try to talk down to you. I hated when someone would yell out "Hey, new girl!" to get my attention, or when someone would stare at me and be like "Oh great, another new girl" but getting bitchy back to them will only cause drama.

    What I did to establish myself more was I always talked to and helped out new dancers. We got new girls in all the time and I made it a point to talk and be friendly to them. Some were really appreciative - some were bithcy about it. Even so, I had at a least little network of girls who looked up to me and thought of me as one of the "established girls." So eventually I became one of those established girls.

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    Default Re: Hazing

    I haven't been 'hazed.' I think that word is more appropriate for boot camp. Its not boot camp.

    Don't speak unless spoken to... that works for me. And if people are talking to you just to gossip don't add anything to the rumor mill. I just try to stay out on the floor and away from the dressing room unless I need to go in there for something.

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    Default Re: Hazing

    I've always come off as someone you just didn't want to fuck with so I never had to deal with any of it. However, keep your head down, your mouth shut, make your money, tip out who you need to and go home. You're not there to make friends.
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    Default Re: Hazing

    jesus christ yall make the dressing room sound like a cell block.

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    Default Re: Hazing

    Quote Originally Posted by camille27 View Post
    jesus christ yall make the dressing room sound like a cell block.
    That's because in some clubs it is. We had a change in management that's resulted in a lot of aggressive, predatory girls being hired. Under the previous manager they would not have made it through the door and any offensive threatening behavior would have resulted in firing. But now, we see one drugged out trainwreck after another and cliques of thuggish bitches who are subtly threatening and actually fight in the dressing room. They are just like the person doing the hiring so what can you expect?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kylea2 View Post
    I was wondering! :-) Glad you fixed it.


    I used to operate just on the "lay low"/"don't talk" theory, but this new generation of dancers seems to be much different than the old. Back in the day girls minded their own business more. Over the years it's become a lot more catty, & the dancers are getting a lot more aggressive physically. I had something happen that is talked about elsewhere on this forum that really opened my eyes to the fact that we can't keep operating under the "just keep to yourself" theory. When you don't talk to people they start to assume the worst of you. If you try to be overly friendly the established entertainers can become annoyed. Having the managers help you start your professional interactions with co-workers is probably the best solution I've found.
    I too have seen a dramatic change in the girls they are hiring. The more professionally minded women don't seem to apply as much anymore. The job description has changed, the standards have changed, so the girls have changed a LOT. They are far more immature, emotionally and physically volatile, many are emotionally at the age of about 12 or 13. It really is like recess with teenagers, drama queens, bullies and all, not a lucrative, focused workplace.
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    Default Re: Hazing

    A lot of dancers don't give a shit about new girls if the girls aren't doing anything stupid.
    Unless new girls are trying to talk to me or asking to borrow/use my shit or trying to talk to a guy I've just done 2 hours in a CR with when I get up to piss... I generally won't say/do anything to them. Unless I'm before/behind them on stage and they barge up on my stage before they're even announced or I'm after them and they're still on the stage cleaning up their $10 or getting dressed ON MY STAGE. Then I'll push a bitch off the damn stage. lol

    So. Basically... those are all things you can do to limit the amount of shit you get. Don't annoy other dancers with questions... don't talk to customers who are CLEARLY someone's regulars... be prepared so you don't need to borrow other girls things.
    Just keep your head down and stay out of the way.
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    Default Re: Hazing

    I was never hazed. However, at every club - be it my first or just a new club after becoming an experienced dancer - I noticed a ¨three week rule.¨

    There would always be a handful of dancers who had been there a long time, and were practically household names. They would usually have strong, extroverted personalities, and be super close to many other girls. They´d talk about their weekend, their partners, their vaginas -EVERYTHING - with other girls. It´s pretty easy to spot these girls - they´re like alpha strippers.

    But don´t try to join in the conversation. You´re just another new girl in an industry with a high turnover. They will appear cold to you if you try to act chummy, because trust is important to them, and it´s something only earned after time. Perhaps they´ve been fucked over in the past by a fly-in fly-out stripper. Perhaps they just can´t be bothered getting close to every girl who tries their hand at stripping then leaves after a night or two. But don´t take it personally. I remember thinking, ´WHy are they so nice to everyone else, but not to me?´

    If you pass them in the hallway or you´re the first two in the dressing room, say Hi and smile, but leave it at that. Then after about three weeks (assuming you have kept your head down and not made drama) they will start approaching you, addressing you by your name, asking how you are, inviting you to parties or to grab food after work.

    On the other hand, there are some girls who are veterans and will be genuine, open and lovely from day 1. They will spot a newbie and make them feel as comfortable as possible. And at the other extreme, there´s the very small minority of girls who are just all-round bitches or drama queens, and will never warm to you. You can usually identify them on your first night, because no one respects them. Don´t join the gossiping. Just steer clear of those girls and you´ll be fine. If you have a problem with one of them, or you sense they´re trying to take advantage of you, go straight to the manager, don´t try to confront them.

    Edited to add that the truly horrible or drama queen girls are really far rarer than you would think. At least in my experience working in several Aussie clubs. I expected a good portion of them to be difficult, high-maintenace people when I was a newbie. At the end of the day, a good 90% or more (depending on the club) are super normal girls who are mums, students, or just need cash for debts, particular goals, etc. They´re not all high-maintenace party girls who can´t function in normal society.

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    Default Re: Hazing

    i wonder what this looks like but i now feel compelled to come where you are immediately.


    Quote Originally Posted by Optimist View Post
    That's because in some clubs it is. We had a change in management that's resulted in a lot of aggressive, predatory girls being hired. Under the previous manager they would not have made it through the door and any offensive threatening behavior would have resulted in firing. But now, we see one drugged out trainwreck after another and cliques of thuggish bitches who are subtly threatening and actually fight in the dressing room. They are just like the person doing the hiring so what can you expect?

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    Default Re: Hazing

    Quote Originally Posted by melb_oz_n00b View Post
    I was never hazed. However, at every club - be it my first or just a new club after becoming an experienced dancer - I noticed a ¨three week rule.¨

    There would always be a handful of dancers who had been there a long time, and were practically household names. They would usually have strong, extroverted personalities, and be super close to many other girls. They´d talk about their weekend, their partners, their vaginas -EVERYTHING - with other girls. It´s pretty easy to spot these girls - they´re like alpha strippers.

    But don´t try to join in the conversation. You´re just another new girl in an industry with a high turnover. They will appear cold to you if you try to act chummy, because trust is important to them, and it´s something only earned after time. Perhaps they´ve been fucked over in the past by a fly-in fly-out stripper. Perhaps they just can´t be bothered getting close to every girl who tries their hand at stripping then leaves after a night or two. But don´t take it personally. I remember thinking, ´WHy are they so nice to everyone else, but not to me?´

    If you pass them in the hallway or you´re the first two in the dressing room, say Hi and smile, but leave it at that. Then after about three weeks (assuming you have kept your head down and not made drama) they will start approaching you, addressing you by your name, asking how you are, inviting you to parties or to grab food after work.

    On the other hand, there are some girls who are veterans and will be genuine, open and lovely from day 1. They will spot a newbie and make them feel as comfortable as possible. And at the other extreme, there´s the very small minority of girls who are just all-round bitches or drama queens, and will never warm to you. You can usually identify them on your first night, because no one respects them. Don´t join the gossiping. Just steer clear of those girls and you´ll be fine. If you have a problem with one of them, or you sense they´re trying to take advantage of you, go straight to the manager, don´t try to confront them.

    Edited to add that the truly horrible or drama queen girls are really far rarer than you would think. At least in my experience working in several Aussie clubs. I expected a good portion of them to be difficult, high-maintenace people when I was a newbie. At the end of the day, a good 90% or more (depending on the club) are super normal girls who are mums, students, or just need cash for debts, particular goals, etc. They´re not all high-maintenace party girls who can´t function in normal society.
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    Money can't buy happiness, but poverty can't buy shit.

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