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Thread: Need some divorce advise please

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    Default Need some divorce advise please

    I just got some papers in the mail from my husband's attorney, I received a summons and complaint and stipulation, but I don't agree with some of them.

    First disagreement is the child support, $527 per month. That hardly covers day care. I have been saving all receipts related to my baby's expenses and can give exact numbers showing that $527 is not half of what it costs to take care of my baby. Should I try to push for more child support?
    Another stipulation considering the child support is that he won't start paying until September. He was giving $400 dollars a month during May and June. This month he decided to give nothing for our daughter's support. I want back pay, whatever the amount of child support we agree upon minus the 800 he gave during the past 3 months. Is it possible to ask for this in court?
    Another thing considering the support is that he is in the military and gets paid more because he has continued to claim us as dependents and gets more BAH (housing allowance) and BAS, and it a few hundred dollars difference but we're not seeing any of that money.

    I do not agree completely with the parenting plan presented. Concerning transportation and exchange of child this is exactly what is stated:
    "The Plaintiff (him) and Defendant (me) shall each be responsible for ahlf of the travel expense associated with Plaintiff's parenting time. If parties are not able to agree upon how to split the travel expenses, then the parties shall meet half way at a public location for the exchange of the child.

    I live in Florida, he is in North Dakota, I'm not paying for his ticket down here. No f'n way. I think that is a load of crap, I was a stay at home mom and he worked, that is what we agreed upon but it became a problem that I was 'spending money' because I got a 20 dollar hair cut without telling him.... How does this all lead to me having to pay for half of his travel expenses??? I came to Florida because I left with nothing but my daughter's crib and our clothes. I didn't take the 52 inch TV, the $3500 washer and dryer, or anything else in the house. I literally left with my clothes, my daughter's clothes, and her crib (which her grandfather bought her).

    Lastly, is this worth hiring an expensive lawyer? Or could I go through a legal aid society for this?

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    Default Re: Need some divorce advise please

    Your state will have child support guidelines, $500 a month sounds low unless he's unemployed. Even then, it sounds low. For visitation, I would say he or she who moved is the one who pays for the cost of transportation.

    HTH
    Z

    PS, you don't have to agree to anything right away. Talk to a good family lawyer.

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    Featured Member FiendishGyrator's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need some divorce advise please

    Well you definitely need to get a lawyer because depending on North Dakota, you should be getting half of what the house and such were worth, right?

    But you should be able to ask for all of that, especially if you're able to prove that you left with basically the clothes on your back, so the problem was him.

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    Default Re: Need some divorce advise please

    I agree. Speak with a lawyer.
    "You can close your eyes to reality but not to memories -Stainslaw J. Lec

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    Default Re: Need some divorce advise please

    Yes it's worth it to hire a lawyer. I didn't even have kids and child support to fight over when I got divorced and we still needed attorneys.
    Sorry I missed church. I was too busy practicing witchcraft and becoming a lesbian.

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    Default Re: Need some divorce advise please

    Definitely hire a lawyer.

    As for the BAH thing, though, you may be SOL. I know exactly how that works, and unfortunately, the military does not in any way, shape, or form, require the person serving to use those funds for the benefit of the dependents, or give them those funds. Even if you guys were happily married and he got shipped overseas, he could technically just hoard all the money and refuse to give you a dime. You could be on food stamps and the military technically cannot make him help you. His superiors could strongly suggest that he help, but that's about it. I'm not 100% positive what the process is for him getting a divorce... I'm not sure when he stops getting the BAH. Maybe contact military personnel about that?

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    Default Re: Need some divorce advise please

    The military does not give a rat's ass about a spouse. During the first couple months I tried to talk to our First Sargeant and he literally blew me off and word got back to me that he thought I was crazy.... I guess my husband talked me up quite a bit -_- I'm sure he didn't mention how he cheats on me and ignores his daughter though.... the squadron commander also blew me off. So did the chief. I gave up trying to talk to them. If I was still active duty and had a shirt of my own then I might get somewhere but they really don't give a crap about military spouses or kids. Just wasted my time.
    But you are right, they can't make him do anything. Only civil court can order him to do anything.
    Definitely getting a lawyer, a good one, too. I'm gonna hustle my ass off just to make sure that when I am through with him he'll never want to date a Mexican again. Hes going to cringe at even the thought of Mexican food. Asshole!

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    Default Re: Need some divorce advise please

    ^ Yeah, it's unfortunate, but the military is still an extremely sexist institution. Kind of makes me wonder what I'm getting myself into, marrying Joe before he goes into basic for the USAF. But Mom already laid it out for me pretty plainly; my Dad was a pilot, and she knows all about military politics and social rules.

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    Default Re: Need some divorce advise please

    Quote Originally Posted by lokikola View Post
    Lastly, is this worth hiring an expensive lawyer?
    Yes, yes, yes!

    Those numbers are low - it sounds like he's trying to get over on you. Also, the cost of travel is B.S.

    And though the military is likely not going to do anything for you voluntarily, they WILL attach his pay if they get a court order to do so.

    Also, in addition to child support you generally have a right to half of all of the marital assets. If there is a house, you get half of the equity. If there was a savings account, you get half of that too.

    You really need a lawyer.

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