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Thread: Management Lessons

  1. #1
    Veteran Member So Fine Divyne's Avatar
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    Thumbs up Management Lessons

    I was digging through my old Devastating Divyne profile on archived posts and I found this one:


    Lesson Number One
    **************************
    A crow was sitting in a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?" The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

    Management Lesson? To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.


    Lesson Number Two
    **************************
    A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients. The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

    Management Lesson? Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.



    Lesson Number Three
    ****************************
    A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, promptly dug him out and ate him.

    Management Lesson? 1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy. 2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend. 3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!

    Here endeth your management course.
    Thank Goodness I smartened up! The old me is dead and gone.

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  3. #2
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    Default Re: Management Lessons

    lol!!! that was funny!!!

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  5. #3
    Veteran Member misspthesweetesttaboo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Management Lessons

    Nice lol
    "You have to pray a whole lot to do the things I do"
    Me

    Quote Originally Posted by kaiarose View Post
    I keep reading about how we "sell" our bodies. Um, as far I as can tell I still have mine so it hasn't been sold.
    Quote Originally Posted by ViolaStrings
    ^ I know, we just lease out visual rights for short intervals.
    "

  6. #4
    Featured Member minnow's Avatar
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    Default Re: Management Lessons

    SFD- I just thought of an addition to your list from an old wise one:

    "Just because someone is higher up than you doesn't mean they're better, even turds can float to the top."
    I'm right 96% of the time. I don't sweat the other 5% .......................

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  8. #5
    Featured Member kikiwiki's Avatar
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    Default Re: Management Lessons

    These are great! keep them coming!
    "Where there is love there is life"-Mahatma Gandhi

    "Be The Best, F!ck The Rest"- P.P.


  9. #6
    Senior Member HandSanitizer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Management Lessons

    I enjoyed those! Very witty!

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