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Thread: Fiance cheated on me need to vent out

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    Veteran Member girlfromipanema's Avatar
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    Default Fiance cheated on me need to vent out

    My "fiance" has been in another state "working to come back to me." I've been here alone, sitting at home waiting for him for a very long time. I get a voicemail Sunday night of him and a girl arguing in a bar. I wasn't supposed to know about it. The girl either pressed send on his phone to call me or he hit the send button accidentally while they were fighting. I heard everything I needed to hear. It was a shitstorm.

    I was driving when I heard the long 5 minute accidental voicemail. I had to pull over I was shaking so bad. I called him he didn't answer. I texted him no reply. So I called my ex boyfriend and had him come over. I texted my fiance and told him he was coming over. When he called me back I put my ex on the phone with him for proof then hung up. I fucked my ex in my bed that night for two hours. When I was through I texted him with the sex details. He was beyond pissed and I was pleased with my handiwork.

    Then I proceeded to dish out the nastiest things I could muster to say to him. Cutting down his manhood and the whole nine. I yelled and screamed and threatened to pay someone to take out his kneecaps with a baseball bat.

    Now the initial anger is done and I am still feeling sick to my stomach. Every time I think of him and his raunchy little taint girlfriend I want to throw up. I lost a lot of sleep and have to force myself to eat and I'm not eating much. I go from anger to sadness to feeling like throwing up.

    I drunk dialed him, he has called me, I have cried on the phone to him. It's just fucking ridiculous. I have to have music on all the time so I won't think about it. I've been keeping as busy as possible and have a drink when I feel I can't take it. My emotions are all fucked up. I've been through much worse in life, but this is just making me feel sick.

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    Veteran Member The_Ecdysiast's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fiance cheated on me need to vent out

    It truly sucks some serious ass when you think you're in a monogamous relationship, only to find out your other half wasn't on the same page. Been there, and it's NO fun!

    Just be glad you found out now rather than after you were married, with children. I know it's tough, but you will be okay. Time is the best healer - that & consuming yourself in staying busy, and keeping focused on your goals. Also, let yourself grieve....let it all out so you can get it out your system & move forward .

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    Featured Member FiendishGyrator's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fiance cheated on me need to vent out

    Wow. That really sucks. Sounds like it's time for a strip-trip to keep you busy, on the road, and away from him. Sorry that happened to you. Looks like you're able to stick up for yourself though which is a nice change of pace.

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    Default Re: Fiance cheated on me need to vent out

    Good for u on the revenge part Fuck him. I dont like his "working to come back to u" bullshit. I also dont like u were waiting for his stupid useless ass.

    I prolly would be not eating shaking, in shock all of the above. Happened to me when one of my exes actually lied to me about moving out of state. I had to find out from his mom what was actually happening. I stopped eating too, threw our bed out in the street, etc.

    I have lost it before hardcore over this type of stuff..not the actual cheating like that but alot of pain still the same. Try to hang n there as best as u can. U r going to go through shock, anger, sadness, all the stages. Keep ur chin up and remember in time u will get through it and someone better will be waiting around the corner for u.

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    Featured Member Brandi_Lynn's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fiance cheated on me need to vent out

    What were they arguing about? This sounds so fishy. Wtf? I'm sorry that your going through this. Men can be just too good at living double lives. Sounds like your too good for him. Kudos to your ex getting on the phone w/ the bastard.
    "You're better than no one and no one is better than you."
    -- Bob Dylan

    “There's never going to be a great misunderstanding of me. I think I'm a little whacked.”


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    God/dess Trem's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fiance cheated on me need to vent out

    I think you meant to say "ex fiance".
    "Well done. Here are the test results: You are a horrible person. I'm serious, that's what it says: 'A horrible person.' We weren't even testing for that."

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    Veteran Member girlfromipanema's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fiance cheated on me need to vent out

    Quote Originally Posted by Brandi_Lynn View Post
    What were they arguing about? This sounds so fishy. Wtf?
    She said she was going to put everyone in their place. She said he should not be disrespecting her in her bar. She said he needs to make a choice and now she is going to choose for him. He went after her and talked to her like he did to me when we fought. He was apparently upset at another guy in the bar. I have no idea why, but since she is the bartender there I can only guess some guy was hitting on her and he was jealous. I've no idea. Anyway he offered up some shit story to me of what it all was. Full of holes, any kid in grade school could've done a less pathetic cover up job.

    Thank you all for supporting me. I've been crying for hours. The pain in the stomach is still here. Going to a friend's house to drink.

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    Featured Member Laurisa's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fiance cheated on me need to vent out

    See, this is why I won't work in a Nevada Brothel without my SO being 100% OK with it...it's not right!

    I'm sorry this happened. Horrible.
    If you are willing to do for one year what other's won't, you can spend a lifetime doing what other's cant.


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    Featured Member Spinnerette's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fiance cheated on me need to vent out

    Ugh, that sucks (to understate) and I KNOW that pain you're talking about. It hurts like a bitch.

    At least you got revenge though. Now all you can do is wait for it to stop hurting.

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    Moderator unbeleavable's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fiance cheated on me need to vent out

    Dam..sorry to hear that. I guess the only happy one in that picture is your ex-boyfriend.

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    Featured Member Amy Lee's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fiance cheated on me need to vent out

    That's fucked up. Hope you don't consider marriage now.

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    Default Re: Fiance cheated on me need to vent out

    You deserve much better and you will find a better guy.

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    Veteran Member girlfromipanema's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fiance cheated on me need to vent out

    He is adamant that he didn't cheat with this person. He says it was all a misunderstanding that he got in a fight in her bar and she was threatening to call the police on him. I have no way of knowing either way if this is true or not.

    Fact is, I begged him not to go to bars way before this happened. I was under his thumb all year. I didn't go running the streets out of respect for him all year. I put up with loads of his shit and neglect. Once he started going to bars I told him I was no longer going to be involved because I couldn't take worrying what he might do. He didn't care how I felt about it. He proceeded to go out anyway behind my back and it blew up in his face. Whether he fucked the girl or not is irrelevant in my eyes. He betrayed my trust and I found out in the ugliest way.

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    God/dess Smurfette's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fiance cheated on me need to vent out

    I'm sorry about your fiance, but the whole fucking your ex as soon as you found out thing seems a little bit immature and a knee-jerk reaction to me. I can understand you were hurt and wanted to get revenge, but it probably wasn't the smartest move.

    I dunno, if my fiance did that to me the first thing I'd want to do is contact him and have a LONG talk about what happened, make sure it wasn't a misunderstanding and figure out where our relationship stands (if there's one left at all). Not go out and immediately fuck an ex-boyfriend out of spite. That just screams of insecurity to me.

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    Veteran Member girlfromipanema's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fiance cheated on me need to vent out

    Yea well I had plenty reason to be "insecure." This man had been away from me for a year in another state. He told me he was moving in with me three times and backed out the week of each time. I had my house packed to move with him and then he told me at the last minute I should stay home and wait for him. I've been alone for every holiday this year. Towards the end he wouldn't give me the time of day on the phone when he called, yet he knew enough about this bartender to have talked to her quite a lot.

    I wasn't allowed to plan a wedding because "all this planning was scaring him." Then when I asked why I couldn't plan one he hung up the phone on me. Then he told me I was not to talk about a wedding until he got home, which he didn't know when at that point. Then he told me oh well maybe we can get married a year from now next June. I was suppposed to take that bone and chew on it right?

    Then my birthday was the 7th he was supposed to be home for good. Instead he told me to wait another month and did nothing for my birthday. When I called him the day before my birthday sad and depressed he told me "what do you want me to do about it? I have a job. Deal with it."
    (By the way for his birthday I took money out of my own pocket to fly there, took him out for a nice dinner, bought him a present and a card, and cooked breakfast for him before I left.)

    When he started going out to bars he crashed his bike and I told him I couldn't take him going out while I was sitting here waiting for him. I begged him not to go out at least for the last month he was here. He agreed, proceeded to go out behind my back and then I find out by getting an accidental voicemail from him and a girl in a bar?

    He never supported me financially or emotionally this whole time, yet I held on hoping things would be better when he came home. He never came home.
    Yea there was obviously more to my reaction than that. I can only get shit on so long before I break. Everyone has a breaking point.

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    God/dess Smurfette's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fiance cheated on me need to vent out

    ^^ Wow, that's awful. I was under the impression it was a fairly normal relationship up until this incident... but it's clear he's been treating you like shit for a very long time!

    In that case I don't really blame you for getting revenge, this guy sounds like an asshole and you should've broken it off a LONG time ago. I can't believe you put up with it for so long.

    Even if he didn't cheat on you, he still needs to be thrown to the curb... you deserve someone who will actually treat you with respect and kindness.

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    God/dess tempest666's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fiance cheated on me need to vent out

    I'd verify the facts very, very carefully. Make sure he did in fact stick his dick in another pussy. cuz then I'd cut the damn thing off and feed it to my boa constrictor.
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
    Tempest

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    Veteran Member girlfromipanema's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fiance cheated on me need to vent out

    Yea it was my own goddamn fault for letting it get to this point of comical absurdity. I stayed with him even though all his actions indicated he had no respect for me. I was a fool.

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    Veteran Member AngelKing's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fiance cheated on me need to vent out

    Hey I've been cheated on horribly and I totally understand your pain. It sucks, one of the worst feelings in the whole world. But in the end, you should be thankful. Be thankful that you found out now instead of later, and be thankful that you know this person's true character before you married him. Even if you guys do work things out, at least you'll be walking ahead with your eyes opened.

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    Default Re: Fiance cheated on me need to vent out

    Quote Originally Posted by girlfromipanema View Post
    Yea well I had plenty reason to be "insecure." This man had been away from me for a year in another state. He told me he was moving in with me three times and backed out the week of each time. I had my house packed to move with him and then he told me at the last minute I should stay home and wait for him. I've been alone for every holiday this year. Towards the end he wouldn't give me the time of day on the phone when he called, yet he knew enough about this bartender to have talked to her quite a lot.

    I wasn't allowed to plan a wedding because "all this planning was scaring him." Then when I asked why I couldn't plan one he hung up the phone on me. Then he told me I was not to talk about a wedding until he got home, which he didn't know when at that point. Then he told me oh well maybe we can get married a year from now next June. I was suppposed to take that bone and chew on it right?

    Then my birthday was the 7th he was supposed to be home for good. Instead he told me to wait another month and did nothing for my birthday. When I called him the day before my birthday sad and depressed he told me "what do you want me to do about it? I have a job. Deal with it."
    (By the way for his birthday I took money out of my own pocket to fly there, took him out for a nice dinner, bought him a present and a card, and cooked breakfast for him before I left.)

    When he started going out to bars he crashed his bike and I told him I couldn't take him going out while I was sitting here waiting for him. I begged him not to go out at least for the last month he was here. He agreed, proceeded to go out behind my back and then I find out by getting an accidental voicemail from him and a girl in a bar?

    He never supported me financially or emotionally this whole time, yet I held on hoping things would be better when he came home. He never came home.
    Yea there was obviously more to my reaction than that. I can only get shit on so long before I break. Everyone has a breaking point.


    This guy wasted to so much of ur damn time. If he wouldnt commit like u wanted I wouldve started to look for someone who could. He wasted ur time and u were alone alot. All for a stupid pussy. Im sorry I know ur in pain but I really hope u find someone who appreciates what he has. U got to make a man "earn" his right to have u. Too many women are too nice and that is a mistake. Ive been there, done that. I am not prefect my own self but I demand alot more now than I did when I was younger.

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    Default Re: Fiance cheated on me need to vent out

    What did he say about you fucking your ex-BF?

    Can 2 wrongs make a right? -- You've both fucked other people - can you both forgive and move on - if he is willing to move in with you and marry you?
    Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.
    - Oscar Wilde

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    Default Re: Fiance cheated on me need to vent out

    Quote Originally Posted by jack0177057 View Post
    What did he say about you fucking your ex-BF?

    Can 2 wrongs make a right? -- You've both fucked other people - can you both forgive and move on - if he is willing to move in with you and marry you?
    Seriously?

    Even if the cheating had not happened, why would she or anyone else want this man? He stayed away for a year, would not move in with her, told her not to move in with him even after she was packed and ready to go, did NOTHING for her birthday, even after she went to the trouble to pay her own expenses to fly to see him for his birthday and cook for him, get a gift and a card. He couldn't even send a present or spend a dollar and a stamp for a birthday card for her?

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  38. #23
    Veteran Member girlfromipanema's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fiance cheated on me need to vent out

    Quote Originally Posted by jack0177057 View Post
    What did he say about you fucking your ex-BF?
    He called me a cheater and a dirty whore. He said he never fucked the girl but he will now. He said she's 22 with a fine ass body and big tits and told me her name. Then he said I got what I deserved. Then he called again mad, then crying, saying he never cheated on me, that he doesn't want to fuck her, he wants to make up with me and I'm lucky he is still talking to me after what I did. He is definitely going through pain. Funny, I haven't gotten this much attention from him all year.

    Can 2 wrongs make a right? -- You've both fucked other people - can you both forgive and move on - if he is willing to move in with you and marry you?
    I can say from experience that two wrongs definitely don't make a right. I got no satisfaction from what I did at all. I think at this point my emotions are too raw to make any rational decisions about anything.

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    Featured Member Spinnerette's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fiance cheated on me need to vent out

    Quote Originally Posted by girlfromipanema View Post
    He called me a cheater and a dirty whore. He said he never fucked the girl but he will now. He said she's 22 with a fine ass body and big tits and told me her name. Then he said I got what I deserved. Then he called again mad, then crying, saying he never cheated on me, that he doesn't want to fuck her, he wants to make up with me and I'm lucky he is still talking to me after what I did. He is definitely going through pain. Funny, I haven't gotten this much attention from him all year.
    Ooh, that sounds familiar. Lucky HE'S talking to YOU? Ha.

    He doesn't deserve you. He knows he's messed up and regardless of whether or not he cheated, he's no catch and he knows it. He was ego tripping having you under his thumb like he did and now that you've shown him you're still in control, he doesn't like it. IMO, getting back with him has no upside. He'll continue to do whatever he wants, deny any wrong doing, and hold the fact that you slept with your ex over your head.

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    God/dess laurielegs's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fiance cheated on me need to vent out

    Quote Originally Posted by Spinnerette View Post
    Ooh, that sounds familiar. Lucky HE'S talking to YOU? Ha.

    He doesn't deserve you. He knows he's messed up and regardless of whether or not he cheated, he's no catch and he knows it. He was ego tripping having you under his thumb like he did and now that you've shown him you're still in control, he doesn't like it. IMO, getting back with him has no upside. He'll continue to do whatever he wants, deny any wrong doing, and hold the fact that you slept with your ex over your head.
    I agree!

    You dodged a bullet there.

    Don't put yourself back in the line of fire! Forget about this man and avoid contact. Why torture yourself? Take some time for yourself and stay away from any relationships for a bit till you get your head together.

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