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Thread: To offend, or not to?

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    Default To offend, or not to?

    Great forum, lots of valuable info - thanks for the time.


    I'm a middle aged guy, but new to the SC scene and have gone to clubs only about 10 times now (all in the last few months). However, at one particular club I met a great woman and I have really enjoyed her attention. I buy dances and drinks and she spends a lot of time hanging out and talking as well - very enjoyable. She gives great dances, very sensual and erotic - but 2-way touching is pretty much limited to her hips and back (rules established on the first dance). Still awesome, but really leaves me crazy for just a little more contact (she's doing her job very well).


    Here's the dilemma. At this same club I have had only a few dances from other ladies, but have had them place my hands all over their bodies and really encourage a lot of touching. I'm a guy, that feels great and is very tempting when considering how to allocate my scarce dollars. In many threads on this forum I have seen ladies take tremendous offense to guys requesting a higher touch dance stating that "we are not whores" and I definitely understand that and do not want to communicate anything even close to that to her. I'm wondering what you ladies would recommend with regard to my favorite given what other ladies in the club are happy to do (I'm talking touching above the waist, nothing else). A higher mileage dance would guarantee her all of my budgeted cash, but I really don't want to offend her with a question that appears to be taken with offense quite often.


    Am I better off leaving things as they are and let her communicate increased boundaries if she decides to, and get dances from other ladies when I'm in the mood for a higher touch dance, or discuss the question? I know this is supposed to be all about the money and I'd just as soon give it all to her if the rules were the same for all the ladies, but clearly this is a "touchy" topic with some, but not others.


    Thanks for the time and any advice.

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    Default Re: To offend, or not to?

    She's set her boundaries. If that was going to change she wouldn't have told you SPECIFICALLY where you could and couldn't put your hands. This is the problem that has come up for a lot of us who are clean dancers. Other dancers are forcing us to either do something we don't want to do (we're there to entertain you nothing more) or make less money. If that's what you're looking for, go to another girl. She's not, nor should you ask her, to do anything different. Sounds like she's doing her job perfectly well as it is.
    Last edited by JayATee; 08-05-2011 at 09:01 AM. Reason: typo
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    Default Re: To offend, or not to?

    She made you aware of her boundaries. If your need to touch a boob is so overwhelming, you should just get a dance from someone else on that occasion. I'd like to meet her. I think the sexist place on a woman is the small of her back.

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    Default Re: To offend, or not to?

    Sometimes the level of contact will increase and sometimes it won't. In my experience, more often than not, it won't. You have to decide if you enjoy her company and her dances, as they are, enough to want to keep doing them. Everyone goes to SC's for different reasons. If you want contact above all else you are probably going to have to look for it elsewhere. I wouldn't suggest asking her for more than she is currently allowing you to do. If she is interested in turning up the heat she will let you know in one way or another.
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    Default Re: To offend, or not to?

    In some cases, I don't truly recall the specific parameters as set forth a couple of years prior. I don't look to offend or push the boundaries of any entertainer, but may have to ask for a refresher definition in one particular case.

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    Default Re: To offend, or not to?

    Use the old high school line, "put out or get out".
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    Default Re: To offend, or not to?

    Quote Originally Posted by kooter View Post
    Great forum, lots of valuable info - thanks for the time.


    I'm a middle aged guy, but new to the SC scene and have gone to clubs only about 10 times now (all in the last few months). However, at one particular club I met a great woman and I have really enjoyed her attention. I buy dances and drinks and she spends a lot of time hanging out and talking as well - very enjoyable. She gives great dances, very sensual and erotic - but 2-way touching is pretty much limited to her hips and back (rules established on the first dance). Still awesome, but really leaves me crazy for just a little more contact (she's doing her job very well).


    Here's the dilemma. At this same club I have had only a few dances from other ladies, but have had them place my hands all over their bodies and really encourage a lot of touching. I'm a guy, that feels great and is very tempting when considering how to allocate my scarce dollars. In many threads on this forum I have seen ladies take tremendous offense to guys requesting a higher touch dance stating that "we are not whores" and I definitely understand that and do not want to communicate anything even close to that to her. I'm wondering what you ladies would recommend with regard to my favorite given what other ladies in the club are happy to do (I'm talking touching above the waist, nothing else). A higher mileage dance would guarantee her all of my budgeted cash, but I really don't want to offend her with a question that appears to be taken with offense quite often.


    Am I better off leaving things as they are and let her communicate increased boundaries if she decides to, and get dances from other ladies when I'm in the mood for a higher touch dance, or discuss the question? I know this is supposed to be all about the money and I'd just as soon give it all to her if the rules were the same for all the ladies, but clearly this is a "touchy" topic with some, but not others.


    Thanks for the time and any advice.

    Kooter .........Its pretty simple , it differs from individual to individual ..You know what you are going to get from this girl ..Its like any market ! ITS FREE market ...

    Shop around ..and you will find over time where you feel your money is best spent , be smart , be nice ...make your own decision . It may still be your first girl .

    There are some INCREDIBLE dancers out there , and there are some SHOCKERS , just like employing a plumber ..Never commend ( or become a return client ) to Poor work , these girls dont deserve the income , so dont be the one contributing ..Leave that to another who does not have your knowlege .

    Keep working , and learning ..and observing ..you will find the niche that best suits you ..From there Its up to you ! Im sure you understand ..Reward great work ...Move elsewhere when you recieve poor work ..No matter what the conversation . As long as you are smart with your choices , your experience will continue to prosper ..

    Good Luck
    Enjoy ... and Progress , Its all in the name of personal enjoyment

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    Default Re: To offend, or not to?

    ^ she's not doing "bad work" because he wants a higher mileage "dance", even though you all seem to expect that these days.
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    Thumbs up Re: To offend, or not to?

    Quote Originally Posted by JayATee View Post
    ^ she's not doing "bad work" because he wants a higher mileage "dance", even though you all seem to expect that these days.
    She ' s is doing poor work if he is not satisfied with what he recieves ..As stated there needs be no loyalty ..Its up to the customer . If hes not happy with the outcomes ...dont employ the services of that tradesperson .

    Quite simple ....... Supply v Demand ..

    Its a service , just like any other . Common sense should prevail before the service provider is considered ... Very Simple .
    Enjoy ... and Progress , Its all in the name of personal enjoyment

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    Default Re: To offend, or not to?

    Quote Originally Posted by Davey17 View Post
    She ' s is doing poor work if he is not satisfied with what he recieves ..As stated there needs be no loyalty ..Its up to the customer . If hes not happy with the outcomes ...dont employ the services of that tradesperson .

    Quite simple ....... Supply v Demand ..

    Its a service , just like any other . Common sense should prevail before the service provider is considered ... Very Simple .
    The quality of a stripper's "work" cannot be measured by the "satisfaction level" of the customer. She could give the most sensual, erotic dance, but if a customer is looking for a blow job, nothing she does is going to "satisfy" him. What many customers require for "satisfaction" are not within the boundaries of the law, and not all strippers are willing to become prostitutes and/or risk being carted off to jail to ensure their royal customer is satisfied.

    Also, it's "recEIves. "i before e except after c."

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    Lightbulb Re: To offend, or not to?

    Quote Originally Posted by tampadancer View Post
    The quality of a stripper's "work" cannot be measured by the "satisfaction level" of the customer. She could give the most sensual, erotic dance, but if a customer is looking for a blow job, nothing she does is going to "satisfy" him. What many customers require for "satisfaction" are not within the boundaries of the law, and not all strippers are willing to become prostitutes and/or risk being carted off to jail to ensure their royal customer is satisfied.

    Also, it's "recEIves. "i before e except after c."
    Tampa .... we have a different understanding of the word " Satisfaction " .. You are taking it to mean some form of illegal favor , this is NOT what Im saying .

    Exoctic Dance is an industry like any other , supply v Demand ..the customers " satisfaction " could be bought about by many different things , of course including sensuality , input , presentation , speech , etc etc etc etc ...The customer will look for many different reasons to partake or not partake .

    Just as he/ she will with a plumber or electrician ..The Quality of the work , and maybe the explanation or the Bond .

    Im suggesting to our " Questioner " to find his own " niche " his own " Satidfaction " ..It may well be this girl he speaks of ..It may not .

    But , its up to him to find his satisfaction level ..and also in my view he should not commend poor work , just as he would not with the plumber .

    We all have a different version of Sexy / SENSUAL ..etc .

    If shes , dancing around trying to view her own reflection , and not focused ..then this is sloppy work . But that decision rests with the paying customer , he should encourage great work ..and discourage poor workpersonship ...

    Stripping is NO different from anything else in this regard , Its a business ..and payment for a service . If not happy , dont go back ..quite simple really .
    Enjoy ... and Progress , Its all in the name of personal enjoyment

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    Default Re: To offend, or not to?

    Thanks for all of the input, it is very helpful.

    Again, my main objective is to avoid upsetting this lady. I'm fine choosing different dancers for different types of dances, but wanted to get a professional opinion before bringing up the subject with her. I probably would have no problem discussing this with any other dancer I have been with, I just happen to really like this one's company and don't want to ruin that.

    It seems the general opinion is to leave well enough alone and see if anything changes over time, I'll probably just go with that.

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    Default Re: To offend, or not to?

    Quote Originally Posted by Davey17 View Post
    She ' s is doing poor work if he is not satisfied with what he recieves ..As stated there needs be no loyalty ..Its up to the customer . If hes not happy with the outcomes ...dont employ the services of that tradesperson .
    It's always entertaining when guys like you try to compare dancers to carpenters or plumbers. It's not the same dude and it's a crappy analogy. Your opinion is based on the premiss that contact or extras are a given in all strip clubs and with all dancers. Neither is the case nor has it ever been. Funny, I know quite a few dancers who are top earners in their respective clubs and yet they do it by providing what you would consider to be "poor" service.

    Quote Originally Posted by Davey17 View Post
    Its a service , just like any other . Common sense should prevail before the service provider is considered ... Very Simple .
    Yes, you are very simple...
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    Thumbs down Re: To offend, or not to?

    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    It's always entertaining when guys like you try to compare dancers to carpenters or plumbers. It's not the same dude and it's a crappy analogy. Your opinion is based on the premiss that contact or extras are a given in all strip clubs and with all dancers. Neither is the case nor has it ever been. Funny, I know quite a few dancers who are top earners in their respective clubs and yet they do it by providing what you would consider to be "poor" service.



    Yes, you are very simple...
    It actually is exactly the same ..You can think whatever you like .
    But its a service industry and at the end of the day the customer will choose for him or her self .... Like it or not thats what happens .
    Absolutely NO different from Any business ... Hustle / B/S ..B/S ..

    This decision will be made on a number of fronts ..and the analagy with a service based industry like that of a Plumber is completely relevant . Its a competitive business ..dont need to tell you that , and the vast majority of decisions will be made via refferal .

    Happy kid yourself otherwise if you like ... Or understand any enterprise and maximise your earnings . Within the rules of course .

    Thanks for your input , all constructive comments are accepted and considerd with the due respect they deserve .
    Enjoy ... and Progress , Its all in the name of personal enjoyment

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    Default Re: To offend, or not to?

    ps : " Extras " .....Are not what is being discussed here .

    Thanks
    Enjoy ... and Progress , Its all in the name of personal enjoyment

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    Default Re: To offend, or not to?

    OP, you have to decide whether you are there because you want to maximize your enjoyment with the girl or to maximize the mileage you get in your dances. I am pretty sure if you coerce greater contact out of her, her opinion of you will change, as will the quality of your interaction outside the dance area. Back in the day when I was in the club all the time and doing daces most of the time, I did most of my dances with a couple of girls who had to be among the least permissive in the club. Quite simply, they were the ones whose company I most enjoyed. In fact, I never tried to up the contact with them. They made it clear before we ever danced what was allowed and what wasn't. I respected those boundaries.
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    Default Re: To offend, or not to?

    They are "extras" for your dancer. They are not on her menu. Either accept that or spend elsewhere. Easy.

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    Default Re: To offend, or not to?

    Extras are what's being discussed. Getting to touch the girls in any way is an extra. The fact that some of us have had to let our guard down slightly ie. Letting you touch the small of my back, or my thighs, or sides to compete with the higher mileage dances being given doesn't make it less of an extra. There was a time when you weren't allowed to touch the dancer. Period. My "quality of work" isn't less because I don't allow you to grab my boobs. I dont deserve to be paid less just because some other girl has decided it's ok to grab hers. Nor should my boundaries be pushed because of this. I was a top earner in the clubs. I get paid for SENSUALITY. The fact that you actually believe what you wrote tells me that you do not belong in the clubs because you don't understand what's going on and can't handle it. A plumber? Are you for real?
    Last edited by JayATee; 07-24-2011 at 09:34 AM.
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    Default Re: To offend, or not to?

    Quote Originally Posted by Davey17 View Post
    It actually is exactly the same ..You can think whatever you like .
    But its a service industry and at the end of the day the customer will choose for him or her self ....
    Actually I don't disagree with this. My issue is with your claim of inferior service if a dancer doesn't let a guy touch everything he wants to-and yes that IS what we are talking about here. Full contact or extras are not assumed in the industry no matter how prevalent they are in a given club or in a particular region of the country. Refusing to put out is not an indicator of inferior service.

    Quote Originally Posted by Davey17 View Post
    This decision will be made on a number of fronts ..and the analagy with a service based industry like that of a Plumber is completely relevant .
    No it's not. Plumbers. Carpenters, Mechanics and even Dentists, Doctors or Lawyers all charge for a tangible service. If the Mechanic changes your oil but your engine seizes five miles down the road because he forgot to put the plug back in the oil pan that's his fault, he fucked up. He is a bad mechanic. If you pay a dancer for a private dance there is no implied promise of anything beyond the lady taking her clothes off. As long as she does that and for the specified amount of time she did her job.

    Dancing is entertainment and dancers are entertainers. I don't care much for Micheal Jackson yet he has sold millions of records for dozens of years. Does the fact that I don't like him make him a bad entertainer? Of course we, as customers, have the right to buy dances from whomever we want. That is not the issue. Your insistence that a dancer who doesn't give the customer whatever he wants is providing bad service is.


    Quote Originally Posted by Davey17 View Post
    Happy kid yourself otherwise if you like ... Or understand any enterprise and maximise your earnings . Within the rules of course .
    I'm not the one kidding myself but your statement is pretty funny considering that most dancers who "put out" to make customers happy are breaking the rules. You may not be talking about "extras" but the fact is what we are talking about is where the line gets drawn. Most dancers who have been around for a while will tell you that the money was actually much better when the clubs where cleaner...

    Quote Originally Posted by Davey17 View Post
    Thanks for your input , all constructive comments are accepted and considerd with the due respect they deserve .
    No need to thank me, it's not your thread...
    Fortunately I don't come here looking for your respect.
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    Default Re: To offend, or not to?

    Quote Originally Posted by Davey17 View Post
    It actually is exactly the same ..You can think whatever you like...
    No it is not. When you hire a plumber, he is judged on the same metric that you would judge the next plumber, which is whether or not the pipe was fixed (or whatever the problem was). Each girl, however, is essentially selling herself, including all of the differences inherent between her and another girl.

    If I bought a peach and it tasted like a peach, can I rightfully claim that I received a poor product because it didn't taste like an apple? If he wants more contact, he should spend his money on a girl who is selling it. She is not providing poor service, but rather she is simply not selling what he is looking for.

    Also, she told him her boundaries and he knows that he can get more mileage from another girl, yet he continues to buy what she is selling. Sounds to me like she's providing something that he likes, even if it is not contact.

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    Thumbs up Re: To offend, or not to?

    Quote Originally Posted by rickdugan View Post
    No it is not. When you hire a plumber, he is judged on the same metric that you would judge the next plumber, which is whether or not the pipe was fixed (or whatever the problem was). Each girl, however, is essentially selling herself, including all of the differences inherent between her and another girl.

    If I bought a peach and it tasted like a peach, can I rightfully claim that I received a poor product because it didn't taste like an apple? If he wants more contact, he should spend his money on a girl who is selling it. She is not providing poor service, but rather she is simply not selling what he is looking for.

    Also, she told him her boundaries and he knows that he can get more mileage from another girl, yet he continues to buy what she is selling. Sounds to me like she's providing something that he likes, even if it is not contact.

    Nope ...... You can be satisfied with the trades service , and maybe Im not , thats fine freedom of choice ..Free market ..

    The point is SIMPLE , in either scenario no matter how you dress it up , Its payment for a service for which the customer will decide on the appropriate sub contractor for him / her .

    Thats all we are conversing about a service ...You maybe happy and I not or visa versa ..Freedom of choice / free market / supply and demand .
    We can both be correct ..thats what makes the world go round .

    Im not talking about " Favors " or anything " illegal " ...

    The point is choice of the service provider ....SIMPLE really .

    And this guy ( the questioner ) will , at some point make his choice , the market will dicate his choice , and everyone will be happy ..Pretty similar to day to day life really .

    Have a great day all .
    Enjoy ... and Progress , Its all in the name of personal enjoyment

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    Default Re: To offend, or not to?

    ^ the point is you do not understand thing one about this industry or how it works and instead of learning you are content to continue spewing your ignorance. Good job champ!
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    Default Re: To offend, or not to?

    Quote Originally Posted by Davey17 View Post

    Im not talking about " Favors " or anything " illegal " ...
    Actually you are. You're just too ignorant to understand that.


    Quote Originally Posted by Davey17 View Post
    And this guy ( the questioner ) will , at some point make his choice , the market will dicate his choice

    Actually, based on his posts, his libido will ultimately dictate his choice. As far as your endless babbling about "the market" that's irrelevant. Guys buy dancers from whomever they want to buy dances from. Clearly you don't know a damn thing about dancers, what motivates them or who runs the show inside the club...
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    Sophia_Starina is a sensible stripper...Naked all the way.....
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    Double team! 2 latinas with big tits!!

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  37. #24
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    Default Re: To offend, or not to?

    You might get more mileage if you start becoming her regular and if she gets more comfortable with you (as she gets to know you assuming you are a well-adjusted, non-creepy guy). But this could take weeks, if not months, and there's no guarantee of it happening.

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  39. #25
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    Default Re: To offend, or not to?

    I dunno, I think I'm with Davey on this one.

    We ARE a lot like plumbers. IC's, responsible for keeping out customers happy, etc.



    Can you see the similarities now? Just like plumbers.

    Free market, supply and demand, yada yada.



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