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Thread: At a Crossroads - Advice Please!

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    God/dess J.D.'s Avatar
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    Default At a Crossroads - Advice Please!

    So.... I am coming to a point where I need to make a decision that could lead me down several different paths, I wanted y'all's input and advice based on your own personal experiences.

    Here's what's going on.....

    The last two years of my life have been amazing. I lost a ton of weight, got my insurance business up and running, transitioned (almost) out of dancing, and finally, went back to college! I just started this Summer for the first time since 2003. I feel powerful, invincible, like I could do anything and nothing is holding me back. I have a boyfriend, but he moved 4 hours away from me recently, although he may be moving back soon. I have no children, just two precious dogs.

    I have been living with a roommate for the past year and a half, and she told me yesterday that she spoke to the apartment management team about getting out of our lease. She doesn't like living with my dogs, which is fine and understandable, and she wants one of us to release the other out of the lease, then we get our own apartments.

    This could not have come at a better time because

    1. A. I didn't want to stay in Dallas for the remainder of my lease, which is up in May of 2012. I was just talked to the head of transfers for my college to start getting an out of state transfer plan together. I have been DYING to get out of Texas for a while now... my spirit will atrophy if I still in Dallas much longer.
    2. B. With the prior being said, I have already made arrangements about two months ago to move to Puerto Rico in mid October through the end of November. My sister is going there for school and asked me to come with her and live there (for free), so I jumped all over that.


    Before my roommate told me this, I was planning on just subletting my apartment for the time I would be in PR, but now she wants to move before then, so our lease would end at the end of October, and I would have to find somewhere to live by the time I come back to the State, which is the beginning of December. This totally changes everything, for the better! Now I can just move somewhere else when I come back from PR, but the question is, where???

    My entire Fall semester is online, so after this Fall I will have earned 16 credit hours in Dallas. I am wondering if I should stay in state and finish out my core curriculum and/or Associates degree, or just say Fuck it and re locate now since it would be seamless and easier. I am thinking I could take some online courses during the Spring, and maybe 1 or 2 in which ever city I end up while I establish residency there, then really hit it hard with my course load after that.

    The next question is, where should I go? I was also considering just getting a fully furnished sublet in NYC for the entire month of December and dancing out there/selling insurance. What's great about my insurance license is I can just pay $20 and I'm automatically licensed in any state, so work is not an obstacle. I want to go to NYC, Los Angeles, Miami, somewhere like these. I'm sick of the South! One of my best friends asked me to come move in with her in Washington D.C., she is in the process of getting her insurance license and working with me, so that could work out extremely well. Another variable I have to factor in is my boyfriend, I don't want to go too far away from him.

    So, what do you guys think? Advice?
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    Default Re: At a Crossroads - Advice Please!

    Since you are going to be heavily dependent on your dancing income you might wanna try a working trip to each of those potential cities and see how you like money making in each one. What dancing's like in them could be a major make or breaker.

    I suggest getting out of TX sooner rather than later because the longer you wait the harder doing so will become. And if being close to your bf is a major variable all of your preferences are basically out of the question.

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    Default Re: At a Crossroads - Advice Please!

    Since you have been in TX for a while now I presume you pay an in State tuition rate. How much will the costs of your education (Student Loans debt load) go up with a transfer? Can you stick it out to complete all the core general ed courses. Piling on degrees will be cake if your English, Math, Science, and Humanities classes are up to that level.

    All those locations sound exciting but they also come with a higher cost of living. Of the suggestions I would say Washington DC. The commute from the surrounding areas is well established and it is central to the substantial wealth the Country as a whole could put together.

    Stay in Texas and finish your degree, then move to DC. Hopping around, stopping and starting will be a negative on your resume in the future.

    Good Luck!

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    Default Re: At a Crossroads - Advice Please!

    philly!
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
    Tempest

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    Default Re: At a Crossroads - Advice Please!

    ^^^I do NOT think she would like Philly. Actually, I don't know anyone who would.

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    Default Re: At a Crossroads - Advice Please!

    No offense to anyone who is from there or loves it, but personally speaking I've spent a lot of time there and....I dunno I don't see the appeal(although I do like Philly more than Dallas).

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    God/dess tempest666's Avatar
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    Default Re: At a Crossroads - Advice Please!

    Quote Originally Posted by Zinaida View Post
    No offense to anyone who is from there or loves it, but personally speaking I've spent a lot of time there and....I dunno I don't see the appeal(although I do like Philly more than Dallas).

    I do miss the steaks from TX and the Mexican food. However, hoagies have grown on me, I was home in Albuquerque bitching about wanting a hoagie and my NM friends were like WTF????????

    I'm fixing to invent a hoagie with green chile! East meets Southwest!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I'm not from here Zin, I'm a burquena!!!!! PA has kinda grown on me though. I don't like the way some of the clubs are run (Mandatory scheduling, fines up the ass, smoking allowed in the club, no offense to any smokers but I choke half the time) If it wasn't for that gorgeous reason in the pic next to me I'd probably be home.

    But then while I lived in Albuquerque, I never saved my $$$$$ I just spent it on dumb shit. He got my ass in gear and helped me save my money for my tits. i never used to work out and now I got to the gym 3-5 days a week. So me moving out here has been more positive than negative. (The Mexican food still fucking sucks a big floppy donkey dick though)
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
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    Default Re: At a Crossroads - Advice Please!

    ^^^Rock on!! Now you're making me want a hoagie. I live right by the border and I still am not huge on Mexican food, I really have to be in the mood.

    Nola is the best city for food IMO.......

    Sorry about threadjack.....anyways I echo Army and think that DC is the best bet. I bet it's cheaper to live there than it is in LA, Miami or NYC, but don't quote me. I've heard good things about dancing in DC(whereas I have heard the opposite about LA and Miami a lot, no clue about NYC) and plus you have people there.

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    Default Re: At a Crossroads - Advice Please!

    Seeing as you're taking courses online, I'm guessing out-of-state fees don't apply for your school. If that's true, I'd be in DC or a similar city - life is too short to live somewhere you hate. Miami, New York and LA are expensive to live in, so if your focus is school over work right now look for somewhere you a) like the culture b) can afford with minimal work and c) know someone.

    Moving when you come back from PR sounds like the smartest option, but you'll have to throw everything in storage already packed when you're out of the country.
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    Default Re: At a Crossroads - Advice Please!

    bleh i personally hate DC, but i think we like different things in cities (i love NOLA and wont live anywhere else but i doubt you would like living there).

    I would vote NYC. huge metropolis and tons of people. i feel like LA and miami tend to attract a douchier crowd and if you did want to work, you would have to travel (unless you wanted to deal with some of the dirtiest clubs in the country). I guess NYC is expensive, but i think if you make enough, it would be worth it to live there over DC.

    also, i vote gtfo of dallas asap. your bf doesnt even live there, so no need to stay there for him. the sooner you get out the more likely you are to actually leave instead of making excuses. what city did your bf move to?
    The best thing i have heard in a strip club to date:
    customer: we should get married right now! we should get a shotgun marriage!
    me: uhh... i think you are misunderstanding what a shotgun marriage means. A shotgun marriage means you knock me up and my daddy shows up at your door with a gun and forces you to marry me and raise the baby. You mean elope.
    customer: hmm... nah actually i will take the shotgun marriage. At least then we would be having sex.


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    Default Re: At a Crossroads - Advice Please!

    I wouldn't recommend coming to LA. It's very expensive, over crowded and I hear girls aren't making much in the clubs.
    Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today. - James Dean

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    Default Re: At a Crossroads - Advice Please!

    JD, you don't have many credits to transfer, so that shouldn't be an obstacle and you should be able to transfer them almost anywhere.

    You might want to explore your DC options more. There are not many clubs there, but the ones that are there always seem to be packed with suits who are spending. It is all nude and no contact, including no lapdances/VIP/CR. Obviously I cannot vouch for the money made by dancers there, but the two downtown clubs that I have visited (Camelot and Archibald) always seem to be packed full of guys spending money. It is a town full of lawyers and lobbyists who have very limited SC choices. On the flip side, however, the competition to get into these clubs seems to be high. But again, you can explore all of this and figure it out for yourself.

    NYC - IME dancers either love it or hate it. It is expensive to live here and the club fees tend to be very high, but some girls seem to do very well here while others seem to struggle. Guess it depends on the club and your skills. Culturally, I love NYC, but it is not for everybody.

    I hear Miami is a very tough town to dance in and IME many of the clubs are very permissive. However, I won't pretend to know every club or situation in that town. I would also have to imagine that living in Miami could be cheaper than NYC or even DC.

    Good luck!
    Last edited by rickdugan; 07-27-2011 at 10:14 AM. Reason: spelling

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    Featured Member silk55's Avatar
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    Default Re: At a Crossroads - Advice Please!

    J.D why not try Boston? Great state schools and the insurance business is booming here since most everyone is required to carry insurance by sate law. The down sides are it get's cold I mean really cold during the winter. But there are cheap flights to Miami lol. The cost of living is far less then NYC even if you do live in the city or you could live in the south shore of Boston. Have you thought of maybe moving in with your BF after you come back from PR? Depending on how serious the relationship is?
    "The point is, ladies and gentlemen, that greed, for lack of a better word, is good. Greed is right. Greed works" -GORDON GECCO

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    Default Re: At a Crossroads - Advice Please!

    IMHO Silk threw another decent option into the ring. While Boston is not quite as culturally diverse as those other cities, it does have a thriving insurance business. Also, the club scene is similar in many respects to DC: all nude, little to no contact, lots of guys with money, and a small number of available clubs.

    While I have heard mixed reviews from girls about working in Boston itself, where your choices boil down to the Glass Slipper or Centerfold, the Foxy Lady in Brockton is one example of a club south of Beantown that has always been hopping when I visited and where I have heard that the girls do very well, though of course you would need to do your own research to confirm.

    Anyway, good luck however it goes.

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    Default Re: At a Crossroads - Advice Please!

    Quote Originally Posted by rickdugan View Post
    IMHO Silk threw another decent option into the ring. While Boston is not quite as culturally diverse as those other cities, it does have a thriving insurance business. Also, the club scene is similar in many respects to DC: all nude, little to no contact, lots of guys with money, and a small number of available clubs.

    While I have heard mixed reviews from girls about working in Boston itself, where your choices boil down to the Glass Slipper or Centerfold, the Foxy Lady in Brockton is one example of a club south of Beantown that has always been hopping when I visited and where I have heard that the girls do very well, though of course you would need to do your own research to confirm.

    Anyway, good luck however it goes.

    Agreed. Also if none of the clubs in Mass work out for you the clubs in Rhode Island (about 30min-1hr south of Boston) are always packed.
    "The point is, ladies and gentlemen, that greed, for lack of a better word, is good. Greed is right. Greed works" -GORDON GECCO

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    Default Re: At a Crossroads - Advice Please!

    I loved working in NY and just loved being in NY, but I was recently looking at rents ... wholly mackeral! Just start looking at your NY options. You could also consider living in Jersey or just outside Manhattan somewhere and commute. You could totally ditch your car and save money there too for a while, it's fun for a while. When I was in NY, I made pretty much the same money I made in Phoenix, but it was a different game. I've always been an average money maker (200 to 300 per shift with 500 to 900 shifts 5 or 6 times a month) Not sure what Dallas is like, but NY is probably the only place where men are consistently bringing in potential clients to schmooze. This is a great situation to be in as a dancer. LA is awful! Very few girls are happy there and whoever posted about the quality of people in LA is right. IDK about Miami, but it's south and probably similar to Dallas. I'm voting for NY. Also, why did your BF move away? Stay a free agent and go where you wanna go, if it was meant to be with your BF, you will come together again once you two have achieved whatever goals you are reaching for individually, but if you are gonna dance, NY is simply awesome! I wish I'd moved there for a gap year or two, but I had a house in Phoenix, and it just did not happen. Now I've got kids and it's just not an option. Just make sure you can get into a club that you can make money at first. I worked at Flashdancers and it was great, but at the time I was there, they had lot's of weird rules that just don't exist in Phoenix. I was used to a more casual environment in Phoenix. But, it was doable ... except bear in mind that there is a reason for the lyrics "Everything can change in a New York Minute" ... go for NY while you can!

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    Default Re: At a Crossroads - Advice Please!

    Quote Originally Posted by pollywogg View Post
    if it was meant to be with your BF, you will come together again once you two have achieved whatever goals you are reaching for individually
    Yes yes yes yes yes!

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    Default Re: At a Crossroads - Advice Please!

    wow, I'm surprised at the amazing and insightful advice you guys have given me, thanks!

    I never thought about Boston, why do you say the insurance business is thriving? I focus on the senior market (selling Medicare supplements, senior dental/vision/hearing, and $$annuities$$) as well as group health insurance for business and individual life/health insurance. I do NOT bother with car insurance, homeowners, etc. I wonder if this would be a good match for me, I have a cousin that lives there as well.....
    Quote Originally Posted by AznExtasy View Post
    LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    You can say that again.. not just on here but men in general. Guys are so damn lame, the only way they can halfway make up for it is by opening their wallets.

    Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Tools

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    Default Re: At a Crossroads - Advice Please!

    Quote Originally Posted by J.D. View Post
    wow, I'm surprised at the amazing and insightful advice you guys have given me, thanks!

    I never thought about Boston, why do you say the insurance business is thriving? I focus on the senior market (selling Medicare supplements, senior dental/vision/hearing, and $$annuities$$) as well as group health insurance for business and individual life/health insurance. I do NOT bother with car insurance, homeowners, etc. I wonder if this would be a good match for me, I have a cousin that lives there as well.....
    Health insurance in MASS is required by law. Unless your willing to pay a penalty in April when doing your taxes:

    http://www.mass.gov/?pageID=cagoterm...ance&csid=Cago

    So there is a huge market opportunity for different types of health insurance coverage.Which moves you into various different fields. On the up sale like health savings accounts and annuities ect. My ex just recently got a job with Aetna and the compensation package she got was very generous. Some of the perks are Employee Tuition Assistance (she's getting her in MBA) they pay around 80% of her tuition, Free T Pass, Working from home.
    "The point is, ladies and gentlemen, that greed, for lack of a better word, is good. Greed is right. Greed works" -GORDON GECCO

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    Default Re: At a Crossroads - Advice Please!

    oh noez! not boston! massholes = lose.

    (born in jersey. we have irreconcilable cultural differences).
    The best thing i have heard in a strip club to date:
    customer: we should get married right now! we should get a shotgun marriage!
    me: uhh... i think you are misunderstanding what a shotgun marriage means. A shotgun marriage means you knock me up and my daddy shows up at your door with a gun and forces you to marry me and raise the baby. You mean elope.
    customer: hmm... nah actually i will take the shotgun marriage. At least then we would be having sex.


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    Featured Member silk55's Avatar
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    Default Re: At a Crossroads - Advice Please!

    Quote Originally Posted by Athenathefabulous View Post
    oh noez! not boston! massholes = lose.

    (born in jersey. we have irreconcilable cultural differences).
    FAIL Massholes = RULE!

    JK. There are a lot of dip shit's up here. But it's the same in all major cities.
    "The point is, ladies and gentlemen, that greed, for lack of a better word, is good. Greed is right. Greed works" -GORDON GECCO

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    Default Re: At a Crossroads - Advice Please!

    Quote Originally Posted by silk55 View Post
    FAIL Massholes = RULE!

    JK. There are a lot of dip shit's up here. But it's the same in all major cities.
    eh yes but every city attracts a different quantity and different type of douchebag.

    hence why i live in NOLA. there are douchebags here, but its mostly limited to those that bump up the crime statistics and tourists who come here to treat this place like their personal disney land (and in return i exploit them back and take as much money as possible). i can handle that over the pretentious lets to bottle service and pretend to be important brah douchebags any day.
    The best thing i have heard in a strip club to date:
    customer: we should get married right now! we should get a shotgun marriage!
    me: uhh... i think you are misunderstanding what a shotgun marriage means. A shotgun marriage means you knock me up and my daddy shows up at your door with a gun and forces you to marry me and raise the baby. You mean elope.
    customer: hmm... nah actually i will take the shotgun marriage. At least then we would be having sex.


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    Default Re: At a Crossroads - Advice Please!

    Quote Originally Posted by Athenathefabulous View Post
    eh yes but every city attracts a different quantity and different type of douchebag.

    hence why i live in NOLA. there are douchebags here, but its mostly limited to those that bump up the crime statistics and tourists who come here to treat this place like their personal disney land (and in return i exploit them back and take as much money as possible). i can handle that over the pretentious lets to bottle service and pretend to be important brah douchebags any day.
    lol i'd have to admit there are a lot of douchebags around here. In MASS/RI the typical douche gets a Harley, gets juiced up to a point where he can't even move his neck, buy's an ed hardy/affliction t shirt and some retarded tribal tattoo oh and let's not forget the eye brows that look better than most chix
    "The point is, ladies and gentlemen, that greed, for lack of a better word, is good. Greed is right. Greed works" -GORDON GECCO

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    Default Re: At a Crossroads - Advice Please!

    I say go with what ur core says, your gut. Which move would involve the least amount of risks? WHich one makes the most sense? I couldnt live 4 hours from my bf personally. Could u take maybe a little time to get away from ur present situation so that u may be able to get away, clear ur mind and see how ud really feel about each option? It sounds like so much bs is going on in ur environment that u might want to consider removing urself from it for maybe a day or two to get a clear head. I do that regularly so that I can get away. For me, it is helpful to think things through.

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    Default Re: At a Crossroads - Advice Please!

    Something to think of.......

    you say you want to leave the south.......and that you are coming back from PR in December...

    It sounds like you really want to hit a big cosmopolitan city

    If you are thinking about big northern cities....NYC, Chicago, Boston etc....you have to know what you are getting into weather wise. If you have never lived with winters before....coming right into one would be quite a shock to the system...While Chicago and NYC are fantastic places to live.....if you are going to do it, i would move in the spring or summer....then you can slowly get acclimated to it.

    DC would be more mild.....also Seattle, SF or Portland. Try them out for the winter and if you dont absolutely love them, try Chicago or NYC in the spring. I dont know how the dancing economics are in any of these places....but as far as quality of life...you always hear great things about Seattle, Chicago, SF, Portland....etc

    Lots of fantastic cities in this country.

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