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Thread: Breaking a Lease When You Just Moved In?

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    Featured Member Lady Xplicit18's Avatar
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    Sad Breaking a Lease When You Just Moved In?

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    Last edited by Lady Xplicit18; 04-08-2012 at 05:48 PM.
    "Strippers are like pet tigers. They are nice to look at but they are not for everyone."

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    Senior Member pollywogg's Avatar
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    Default Re: Breaking a Lease When You Just Moved In?

    GET OUT ASAP! First of all, if you are living in a place where you feel like you are in danger, you can get out of your lease and they have to let you according to landlord laws in AZ and I would imagine it's the same in whatever state you are in. Do a search about this in your state. If you are a dancer and you run into a lawyer or a guy that is in real estate or has rentals, ask them. A lawyer would probably answer that question for a nominal fee. Move out and worry about it later, if you have to. Lie if you have to. If you are really concerned about having to prove that you feel like you are in danger, use your phone to tape him talking to you like that and go somewhere where he does not know where you are and don't tell him about anything at all. Also, if you get him on tape talking to you like that, then if anything dangerous ever does happen, it is less likely that he'll get away with it.

    Sometimes apartments have clauses where if you leave a place before the lease is up, then you have to pay like 2 months rent. If it turns out this way, then it is worth paying.

    I suppose the worst case scenario is that you can't get off the lease and he causes a lot of property damage that you might be responsible for.

    JUST GET OUT

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    Featured Member Lady Xplicit18's Avatar
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    Default Re: Breaking a Lease When You Just Moved In?

    I live in California. I'm just worried that it will show up on my credit and I reaally don't want that
    "Strippers are like pet tigers. They are nice to look at but they are not for everyone."

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    Senior Member pollywogg's Avatar
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    Default Re: Breaking a Lease When You Just Moved In?

    Your credit can be dealt with later. And I might be able to help you with that later too. I know how those credit cleaning people clean up your credit and it's very legal. It's just kinda tedious, not too hard. I'm pretty sure.

    I cant find anything on the web that clearly indicates what the laws in your area are about on this specific matter. I highly recommend you consult an attorney if you've got $150 bucks to spare... you might be able to get one that normally charges $300 per hour to do a quick consult and help you draft a letter of something... You know your financial situation, I'm always looking for the best deal, but I do have to say that well paid lawyers have a tendency to work out better. Sometimes there are organizations that offer free info regarding the laws for tenants. What I did find online, indicates that if you find something wrong with the place, you may be able to get out... if your place is in crappy condition this might not be too hard.

    Until you get some clear answers from a lawyer, stay away from him as much as possible. Encourage him to be gone. Work extra hours. Tell him your Mom is sick and you have to go to her house for the weekend ... whatever works. Or just tell him that you are not happy with the way he speaks to you and that you need space and you'll call on Tuesday after you've had ample time to figure out your options. DO NOT LET HIM BACK INTO YOUR LIFE AND ONCE YOU BREAK UP DO NOT GIVE HIM ANY INDICATION THAT YOU WILL ACCEPT HIM BACK IN THIS WILL ONLY REWARD HIS DISTORTED THINKING AND WILL CONTINUE TO BE ABUSIVE BECAUSE HE GOT AWAY WITH IT THE FIRST TIME It's HIGHLY unlikely that the behavior will stop. He's got some deep seeded issues he needs to work out.

    I highly recommend you immediately get ready to be somewhere where he does not know where you are, before you tell him you want to move out or you ask him to move out and see if you can agree to get off the lease or vice versa. Do this over the phone! AND tape the conversation by all means! This is possible on almost every cell phone from what I understand. And make sure to remove all super important stuff, like auto titles, birth certificates, HS diploma, scrapbooks... a few essential pieces of clothing, stuff for work etc... Leave anything big or easily replaceable. Do this before you bring this subject up.

    Tell him as respectfully as you can that you want to break up, move out and get off the lease... offer to pay your half of the rent for the next month until he can find a roommate... unless you think he can handle the rent on his own. Do your part to be fair and respectful. Tell him he scares you and you just cannot accept it and you only wish the best for him. Treat his insults like a foreign language. You can freak out later over a bottle with your best girlfriends.

    Tape every possible conversation you can! Evidence Evidence Evidence is the problem with many of these situations. We have the technology... use it! If you don't need it, great, but if you do need it you'll regret not taking advantage of that situation.

    You could always just ask the leasing office to let you out. And tell them the truth. They may be helpful.

    I could totally be freaking out, and you might be able to break up with him with no real threat to your physical well being... but, he scares me and my X husband did some awful scary attempted pre meditated murder stuff to me when I tried to break up and breaking up is always the most dangerous time when breaking up with an abusive man. I'll share the details once you get through this, if you'd like... but, I know LOT's of women who stayed with abusive men until it got really really horrific and all they had to do was get out at the first signs, because it just escalates quickly.

    Review this info... http://answers.yahoo.com/question/in...7194717AAAislY

    ...every single thing on this list is exactly what my x husband did to me within a little less than two years and 1/2 that time he was out of town for work... so within the 9 months that we were in eachothers presence, it got to the point of me having to make numeerous attempts to get away and him finally seriously attempting to kill me. If he is starting to show any of these other signs... just go... get as much of your stuff and get out.

    I really hope I'm being over cautious. Please keep in touch because I will never forget about you, if I don't hear from you again. No need to torture me too! LOL... I'll be fine, but really I do care about you. And if you were my sister or my daughter or my friend, I would tell them the exact same thing I'm telling you now. Actually I'd be by your side getting you out of there immediately.

    Be calm and strong.

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    Featured Member Lady Xplicit18's Avatar
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    Default Re: Breaking a Lease When You Just Moved In?

    I want to talk to my Landlord about it but don't know exactly how she'll take it.
    "Strippers are like pet tigers. They are nice to look at but they are not for everyone."

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    Veteran Member setian's Avatar
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    Default Re: Breaking a Lease When You Just Moved In?

    Well, one she's a landlord. She has had people want to move out before lease is up MANY times I'm sure. Two, she's a WOMAN. Tell her discreetly about what's going on and she may just let you go.

    Ya never know til ya know.

    Same thing with this guy, one day he is going to make sure his point got across by raising a hand to you. Do not stick around for phase 2.

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    Senior Member pollywogg's Avatar
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    Default Re: Breaking a Lease When You Just Moved In?

    Review your lease before talking to her and just simply let her know that you might be in danger and that in the very least get her on alert. Whether she gets snippety or seems honestly concerned will give at least some indication of how she may respond to a request for breaking the lease later. Many times, landlords will agree to let people out, you'd be surprised... and if she thinks the dude is likely to cause property damage and scare other tenants away, she may not want to deal with all that. Do everything you can to keep her on your side. Don't be overly weak with her ... some girls love to go for the drama queen sobbing stuff and that doesn't always work ... if she's remotely able to read people, when she sees that you are authentically scared, but you express yourself in an adult, empowered way, she will see that or at least her subconscious will see that.... use the possibility of paying an extra months rent to buy out of your lease, but don't go over 2 months... but, again, their may be something in the lease about this. Most apts here have a clause about this. I always felt like it would be something I could deal with if I had to get out for some reason and I was a single mom with two kids. Of course, I had my parents as a roof over my head.

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    Default Re: Breaking a Lease When You Just Moved In?

    As someone who just dealt with a very difficult situation... I will say the best and first thing you need to do is talk to you're landlady.

    This is where communication counts for A LOT. I avoided talking to mine for a long time and in the end when I finally did... She was so great that I wish I had talked to her before things got bad and to the point where she was upset with me.

    You never know... Giving her a heads up and asking her what your options are can go a long way.

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    Featured Member Lady Xplicit18's Avatar
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    Default Re: Breaking a Lease When You Just Moved In?

    I just feel bad since it's barely been a month! I'm scared to approach her/ I don't want to cause any drama :/

    He started yapping off calling me all of these names when I suggested to stay at his brother's house while I go to work tomorrow (his car is in the shop, his job is RIGHT by his brother's, and I NEED to work since I don't have my side of rent that's due on MONDAY!). I've been driving him around and letting him borrow my car for the past week which is a strain on me. So when I ask if he could stay at his brothers he starts saying stupid bitch, slut, blah blah blah.
    I reply, if you keep talking to me like that I'll leave, then he threatens to take MY car and leave the apartment. I told him that's theft and that I'd call the police.

    He replies, "I DON'T GIVE A FUCK! GO AHEAD!"
    Asshole.

    The bf and I have had abusive history before.... cops involved (I know I know, please don't judge why I stayed... been with him for 4 years) but it hasn't been physical for about a year.

    I'm really just over his bullshit, especially him acting up again now. I really just feel like running away not having to deal with all of this.
    I've always been like "I love him! I have to stay" but honestly, at this point, I really could give a crap who gets with him. He's not worth fighting over when before I thought he was

    Now where to go now?
    "Strippers are like pet tigers. They are nice to look at but they are not for everyone."

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    Default Re: Breaking a Lease When You Just Moved In?

    Dont be afraid to approach her....like I said, its worse to wait until things are really bad, than to give her the heads up now.

    Its obvious you are in a bad situation....start making plans now and communicate with your landlady...or say nothing and then just walk out when it gets to be too much. At least the first way, you made the effort to handle things before they get worse or before you have less options.

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    Member Leighton's Avatar
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    Default Re: Breaking a Lease When You Just Moved In?

    Also, people break leases ALL the time. Look at your contract and figure out what the penalties will be. Some contracts will have a one-time fee for breaking, or some might require you to pay the amount for the entire lease, although if you find someone to take your place they might let you of it free.

    Just talk to your landlord about the situation and find out what the consequences will be; if the apartment's owned by a person rather than a company they'll usually work with you more.

    Another thing: it might be kind of devious, but start looking for legitimate reasons to break a lease (i.e. convicted rapist/sex offender living in the complex, they don't send maintenance in emergency situations, etc).

    As long as you pay the complex what they ask, your credit won't be hurt.

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    Default Re: Breaking a Lease When You Just Moved In?

    Don't be scared to talk to your landlady. It's not like you're just complaining about the AC being too loud - you feel threatened by the person you're living with. Any landlord with half a heart would be able to see that that's a legit reason for making some sort of bargain for getting you out. When you talk to her and she asks if you actually feel threatened, don't back down and say "Weeeeeell, he hasn't been physical yet... I mean, I don't know if he would... I mean, I don't think you have to worry about it...." Say YES. Otherwise, she may just consider it normal couple bickering and not be as helpful. You know this is a bad situation and you need to get out - so make sure she gets that message loud and clear. Don't feel bad about starting drama. I'm sure she gets people wanting to move out for lesser reasons all the time. You're not starting "drama" - you're keeping yourself safe.

    Rather than telling your bf that he has to find a new roommate, I would start looking on your own for someone to fill the spot. In the past 2 years, I had 4 roommates just up and decide to leave, and nobody else in the house really cared about helping them find a sublet. To us, it was their problem. (I mean, in my situation, they left for shitty reasons - you have a good reason. But your bf would probably still not be helpful in finding your replacement if you decide to leave him). But, I would also check with your landlady to see what the rules about subletting are. I know that where I live, if you have roommates, they have to sign something that says they agree to live with your sublet and let you out of the lease. If your bf is pissed at you for leaving, he probably won't cooperate. And even if you do get a sublet approved, it's possible that if they decide to leave, you're technically responsible for paying again. I just know that some places operate like this so look into this. But if you've spoken with your landlady, maybe there would be a way out of this.

    If this all seems like it will be difficult to impossible or things escalate too quickly to implement a plan, how close by is your family? Or a close friend? I know it would suck to go to your family and tell them what an ass your bf is, but I'm sure they would want to help you if they knew. Just because you're technically on a lease somewhere and paying doesn't mean you have to live there. Yeah, it would suck to still be paying rent somewhere you're not living, but if you can't swing it any other way, better for you to pay the rest of that lease while living with family or a good friend for free or cheap than to stay in a dangerous situation.

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    Default Re: Breaking a Lease When You Just Moved In?

    This may sound odd, but in 1992 my 110 pound girlfriend was getting really abusive after moving in together, so one day when she was at work my friend and I moved my goods out and I stuck her with the lease. I didn't consult the landlord or my GF. Problem solved, and it never went on my credit. I know things are different now but my advice is follow the great advice the other women have provided and get out.

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    Senior Member pollywogg's Avatar
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    Default Re: Breaking a Lease When You Just Moved In?

    If you haven't noticed, by now, I'm all about ideas! I totally completely freaked when I first read your posting. It's all about me now LOL ... I cried a little, just for a minute, but I am better now. I am the emotional chick.

    Let me know if you want anymore input and I really hope this works out without anymore unecessary grief for you. I have a feeling you'll be fine.

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    Default Re: Breaking a Lease When You Just Moved In?

    Quote Originally Posted by SweetNaughty View Post
    This may sound odd, but in 1992 my 110 pound girlfriend was getting really abusive after moving in together, so one day when she was at work my friend and I moved my goods out and I stuck her with the lease. I didn't consult the landlord or my GF. Problem solved, and it never went on my credit. I know things are different now but my advice is follow the great advice the other women have provided and get out.
    I actually didn't think of this since the house I lived in had each person who signed individually responsible for a chunk of the lease. But I have a friend who lives somewhere else with her mom and if her mom doesn't pay, she has to pony up herself or be evicted. Look into that. You may be able to just move out and disappear to a new place, and your bf will be stuck paying it all or be faced with eviction. Look into all your options. I hope everything works out, sweetie.

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    God/dess Trem's Avatar
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    Default Re: Breaking a Lease When You Just Moved In?

    Stop worrying about minor bullshit like your credit score and what your landlord will think and get the fuck out of there.
    "Well done. Here are the test results: You are a horrible person. I'm serious, that's what it says: 'A horrible person.' We weren't even testing for that."

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    Default Re: Breaking a Lease When You Just Moved In?

    Go to you landlady, sit down and ask questions in how to break the lease without him having to sign anything. I believe if you feel threaten by him they will let you off because they lose value if someone is killed in their apartments.

    Just a bitch way to solve the problem.. let him steal your car.. That way you can call the cops, have him arrested, off the lease, and file a report to keep him away from you. Also there is a chance you can make him pay for a few months rent cause since he stole your car, he did run out on the rent. If he breaks the car he has to pay for it.

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    Default Re: Breaking a Lease When You Just Moved In?

    Get a restraining order against him, you can do so with or without criminal charges. He won't be able to come near you or your residence, even if his name is on the lease too. So you can live there happily without him in the picture.


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