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Thread: so... I've been disowned

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    Default so... I've been disowned

    My twin sister said she is "done with me "because I am choosing to pursue a career in the adult industry (mostly dancing and bodyrubs).What is so funny is that she was doing that 7 or 8 years ago (pot,kettle,black) I am not sure what exactly her problem is and why she doesn't want to support me.She says she fears for my safety and that I shouldn't be doing this and worried about who will find out.I am still numb to this news so it hasn't really sunk in yet ,since she is my best friend I still think this will run it's course and we'll get back to normal... hopefully

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    Senior Member moonjade6's Avatar
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    Default Re: so... I've been disowned

    Have you actually been "legally" disowned by your sister? Or did you just have a disagreement where she said that just to attempt to "bring you to your senses"? It sounds like she is just concerned, maybe she had bad experiences of her own that she doesn't want you to suffer through.


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    Default Re: so... I've been disowned

    Yeah, I would try to ask her if there's a specific reason from her past that makes her hate your job so much. Maybe she had a really bad experience. Maybe she really hated her work and felt like she was degrading herself, and now that she's "snapped out of it" she can't stand the thought of her sister "doing that to herself." Really, either way, she's being a hypocrite. But there might be a story behind it. Try to get her real reason out of her so you can put her fears to rest.

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    Default Re: so... I've been disowned

    i would not allow my sister to enter the biz either but thats only because i love and care for her and want to protect her. deep down inside, i know she is old enough to make her own decisions and theres no reason for me to "disown" her.

    your sister loves you dearly, if she didnt she would not be acting this way. she will come back because she loves you. she will come around, i think after you guys resolve your issues. but you should def let her know youre a grown ass woman and can handle herself and let her know you would like her around.

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    Veteran Member aqua's Avatar
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    Default Re: so... I've been disowned

    If she's "disowning" you because she's worried about you, she'll talk to you again. Just give it time. Family is family- she'll get over it.

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    Default Re: so... I've been disowned

    As someone who legally and emotionally disowned their mother and is estranged from their only sister, I don't think your sister is 100% serious. It was likely an impassioned statement, and she will come around. When she does, I would let sleeping dogs lie until SHE brings it up, then go from there.

    Good luck.

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    Veteran Member innes's Avatar
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    Default Re: so... I've been disowned

    I'm sorry, that seems very harsh. To be honest, I think that if MY sister found out that I was in the "adult" industry - she'd be freaked out. Not too happy.
    That being said, if my little sister got into the porn industry I'd be worried for her! But I would certainly never disown her, she's my sister and I love her and I'd make sure she was safe.

    This seems tough ... but I think you've just gotta wait it out ... I'm sure she will come around but give it some time.
    InnesX

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    Default Re: so... I've been disowned

    I agree with mediocrity. Your sister most likely had experiences in the industry that caused her to project her disapproval of the field onto you in a not-so-nice way. Sisters can be very flippant. Is there anyway you can have a conversation with her and discuss WHY she left the industry? that may help you understand her dismissive behaviour

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    Default Re: so... I've been disowned

    Time heals everything... you are family and sisters, things will get better. Keep your head up

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    Default Re: so... I've been disowned

    Quote Originally Posted by mediocrity View Post
    As someone who legally and emotionally disowned their mother and is estranged from their only sister, I don't think your sister is 100% serious. It was likely an impassioned statement, and she will come around. When she does, I would let sleeping dogs lie until SHE brings it up, then go from there.

    Good luck.
    Agreed. My Dad and I had a massive bust up when I was 16 - to the extent that I had to leave home and was completely ignored and financially cut-off by him for almost 15 years. 'Disowned' is a very strong and emotive word to use for a sibling argument or disagreement.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    "Good Girls keep diaries....Bad Girls don't have the time..!!"

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    Default Re: so... I've been disowned

    I agree with the general consensus. The probably has negative associations with the sex industry, whether it be from one specific incident or a culmination of her experiences overall. The best thing you can do is to wait for her to come around. When she does come around, ask her what is making her so fearful of your work. You should approach it in a non-defensive way. Ask her to mentor you and give you some advice about the pitfalls of the industry. She may have some advice that other veterans won't offer because they don't 'know you' well enough.

    When people make drastic life changes it is always natural for a few of their relationships to be strained, or to dissolve altogether. Generally, a temporary situation won't erode a lifelong relationship forever. If you are dancing for five years out of your entire life, that sliver of time will seem very small when you are elderly. I'm sure by then she will have since forgotten as you moved on and had other personal and private successes in your lifetime.
    If you are willing to do for one year what other's won't, you can spend a lifetime doing what other's cant.


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    Default Re: so... I've been disowned

    If ur family sister. father whoever truly loves u they wont disown u. Pardon my bluntness but if my mother/father claimed they were going to disown me when i became a dancer then they wouldve lost their daughter. ANd u know what? Fuck them. There were many years where they werent there for me. You can get on with life without hypocritical family members. I got through years where I would barely talk to my mother and father and they were pretty much all I had. But ive experienced MANY people turning their backs on me. It hurts I would be lying if I said it didnt but I dont want their judgement calls in my life anyways.

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    Default Re: so... I've been disowned

    Quote Originally Posted by girl1015 View Post
    My twin sister said she is "done with me "because I am choosing to pursue a career in the adult industry (mostly dancing and bodyrubs).What is so funny is that she was doing that 7 or 8 years ago (pot,kettle,black) I am not sure what exactly her problem is and why she doesn't want to support me.She says she fears for my safety and that I shouldn't be doing this and worried about who will find out.I am still numb to this news so it hasn't really sunk in yet ,since she is my best friend I still think this will run it's course and we'll get back to normal... hopefully
    She's probably just misinformed about the industry. It's harmless. It's mostly stereotype. If these stereotypes didn't exist, there'd be little money left in the industry. I would stop talking to her and eventually she'll come around. If not, then you're better off without someone negative in your life... regardless if they are family or not.

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    Default Re: so... I've been disowned

    Quote Originally Posted by moonjade6 View Post
    Have you actually been "legally" disowned by your sister? .
    What is "legally disowned"?

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    Default Re: so... I've been disowned

    ^^ legally disowned to me means I have a VERY strict restraining order against my mother and younger sister. It sucks, but in Louisiana at least it was cheap and dirty, and keep those fucks away from me.

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