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Thread: How to build rapport with a painfully shy person

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    Default How to build rapport with a painfully shy person

    Hi everyone,
    I'm new to Stripperweb and loving these forums, some of you offer great advice!

    So, my question is re:thread title...

    I'm sure, we've all come across this type of person at some point: he sits by himself in a corner staring in one spot, when you approach him he's gets nervous he starts perspiring, he gives monosyllabic answers your questions (even the open-ended ones), avoids looking at you as he's speaking to you.... You get the picture

    Last night at work I made a mistake of approaching this type of customer. Scenario goes somewhat like that:

    I - go through my usual 'script' : *Smile* My name is__* How's your night going?* Have you been here before?* What brings you here tonight* What are your plans for the weekend*

    He - answers all my questions with "yes", "no", "mmmm...", "uhg...", "nothing much" without having looked me in the eye once, just keeps staring at the stage or at his drink

    After few minutes of this I run out of things to say... So I sit there, like a tool, picking at my nails, feeling as uncomfortable as he does

    Obviously, bringing up lapdances would be of no use at this stage. Getting up and leaving abruptly would be rather rude too - it would possibly shatter whatever remains of his confidence.

    This is soooo awkward

    So, have any of you been in situations like this? Any tips on how handle this gracefully? Have any of you actually succeeded at building rapport with this kind of customer? Is this possible?

    Please share your experiences

    And have a great weekend everybody

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    God/dess shanna dior's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to build rapport with a painfully shy person

    Why do you think it's obviously out of the question to bring up lap dances? I have a semi-regular that is as painfully shy as you described. The first time I went up to him, we had a one-sided conversation like that, and to put myself out of my misery, I just asked if he wanted to go for dances. And he did - for quite a few of them! He's gotten a teeny bit chattier since then, but still, after exchanging pleasantries and having that 0.5 seconds of awkward, I pop the question and away we go.

    It can be helpful to find a mutual topic of interest (hard when they won't open up, I know, but keep on asking questions and you'll find something) and just talk about that. Body language can make a big difference here as well, but I don't think the overtly sexual kind would be good since it would likely make a shy person that much more shy and awkward. Think light touches on the arm, shoulder, and thigh. Lots of smiles are good too.

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    Default Re: How to build rapport with a painfully shy person

    sales skills sales skills sales skills i can't say this enough and still newbies don't seem to hear me.......

    this could be a thirty second sale and instead, you are turning into an interaction that is uncomfortable when it doesn't need to be!

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    Default Re: How to build rapport with a painfully shy person

    Cheers babe,

    Quote Originally Posted by shanna dior View Post
    Why do you think it's obviously out of the question to bring up lap dances? .
    - well, because he hasn't even LOOKED at me once, so I though it'd be wrong time to offer him to purchase a 'product' he hasn't even seen But, of course, my assumption might've been wrong...dunno... After that some other girls came up to him but no-one sold him any dances, so maybe in this particular case it would've been a waste of time....

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    Default Re: How to build rapport with a painfully shy person

    Shy people can be too nervous to make eye contact and so they avoid looking directly at you - doesn't mean they're not checking you out though.

    I don't know, I guess offering a dance is my main attempt at getting out of a situation I don't want to be in; I also do it when I'm sitting with a customer and the conversation is boring, I don't particularly like their personality, whatever other reason. I figure I end up happy no matter what the response is: I either get to leave or I make money. I've had some really good customers be the ones I asked for a dance just to get away from. The customers that come into strip clubs can be socially awkward, not understand social cues, and just not know how to interact with other people (especially beautiful women) very well. Try and make them feel comfortable and if all else fails, just ask! It never hurts.

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    Default Re: How to build rapport with a painfully shy person

    awesome. so you ignored body language, eye aversion, word hints (or lack thereof), and now it is his fault for being shy.

    really, you are asking, how do i build rapport with someone who has expressed every indicator of non-interest toward me? and that answer should be self-explanatory.

    you're new. you want warm, fuzzy advice instead of solid feedback which is sales skills sales skills sales skills.

    can you imagine being out shopping and a salesperson comes over to you and starts asking you random shit, and you're totally uncomfortable so you eventually stop answering, and she just stands there and watches you instead of getting the hint and leaving you alone?

    Quote Originally Posted by Jewel of Denial View Post
    C

    - well, because he hasn't even LOOKED at me once, so I though it'd be wrong time to offer him to purchase a 'product' he hasn't even seen But, of course, my assumption might've been wrong...dunno... After that some other girls came up to him but no-one sold him any dances, so maybe in this particular case it would've been a waste of time....

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    Default Re: How to build rapport with a painfully shy person

    It sounds like he is a Yellow Personality...which means you need to focus MORE on small talk and giving him lots of extra time.

    click on the free trial link in my signature....I could write an entire book in response to this question...but I've already recorded the instructional video
    Rebecca Avalon







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    Default Re: How to build rapport with a painfully shy person

    Yeah, I know, my Sales Skills need a good makeover.... And I'm working on it now

    And I did get that membership a week ago. It's been of great help so far

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    Default Re: How to build rapport with a painfully shy person

    strip clubs are places where men pay for women's attention so the men that go to strip clubs aren't often going to be the most outgoing, but they expect to be propositioned for dances so don't be afraid to ask!

    if he's not making eye contact with you just keep looking at him anyway. make him feel wanted. try not to be awkward. smile and act like you love his company. don't be like "you seem really shy" instead be like "I love the strong and silent types." or "you must be a really good listener".

    my hustle for REALLY awkward people is always to be over the top with compliments and contact. they're not used to women fawning over them so they eat it right up.

    then when you ask for a dance be like "I'd LOVE to give you a lap dance." and if he turns you down be like "ok *puppy face* I gotta go now but let me know if you change your mind. bye sexy"

    if he says yes then you're in. in my experience the shy guys are ALWAYS the ones who just go along with whatever you tell them. it makes it less awkward for them when you tell them what to do because shy guys don't like to ask things. like in the dance be like "sit here" "pay me when we're done" "put your hands here" and move their hands on your side/boobs/wherever you feel comfortable. then at the end say "we should to the champagne room". TELL them, don't ask.

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