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Last edited by whirlerz; 09-11-2011 at 09:17 PM.
MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP
-Eartha Kitt
Get a gun, or mace. I serious about that if you are alone a lot. Also keep a log of all of his harassment type behavior so that you can show the police how often he rings your doorbell etc. write down the date and time and his exact behavior. if you have a log like that it is much easier to get a restraining order or file harassment charges if it comes to that. it may sound extreme, but you're better off safe than sorry. I know you don't want to involve property management, but if worse comes to worse have them move you.
I say this out of experience. I had a neighbor like that, and he ended up attempting to rape me. I would see him outside my bedroom window at night and his footprints would be in the snow all around the apartment like he was trying to get in, and he would sneak on my porch to put his cigs out in my ashtray. Be very careful, do not ever be in close proximity to his open door or be near him alone.
edit again: my creepy ass neighbor also had a DUI, and had wrecked and brain-damaged himself. That was his excuse for his inappropriate sexual behavior- he retarded himself, he doesn't know any better than to try to rape women.![]()





O, I am so sorry that happened to you! Thank YOU for posting this!
You know it's funny, I always have a weird feeling, like he could try to rape me, he always stares at me so weirdly..I also wondered about him, he seems extremely immature, he's 40, but talks/acts like a teen. On the 4th, he had a big outdoor party, left a huge firepit smoldering & garbage everywhere. I am afraid someday he burn the place down, he barbeques a lot. He comes from a kinda upscale 'burb, his dad's a retired professional..I wondered why he dosen't act like he has more sense/intellegence..yipes. Thanks again, you gave me a lot of insight!
MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP
-Eartha Kitt





Aww, you're sweet! Nope, I'm in IL, Chicago burbs.
However, it's been my longtime wish to move to CO! Seriously, I want to gtf outta here, especially where I live now! There's an abundance of weird, creepy ppl here, much more so than anywhere I've ever lived!
As to stalkers, my ex stalked me to the point of my calling the police on him..3X's.
MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP
-Eartha Kitt





You have to know how to use a gun, and be willing to use it, long before you are forced to do so. If she could and would use one, she would probably already have one.
Wasp and Hornet spray in the face will temporarily incapacitate an attacker, and you will not have problems witch some halfwit jurisdiction that outlaws guns, mace pepper spray, etc.




I'm so sorry you're dealing with this!
My advice: be extremely mean. Like, overtly so. Even if its very far outside your personality. If he tries to engage you, shout, "NO! I'm busy. I don't have time for you" and just continue on in that fashion. You don't have to be insulting (don't call him names or make jibes) but just don't be nice or at all polite. Give the impression that you're anti-social at best and regularly abrasive. I'm really small/petite and have used meanness as a defense mechanism for years. It works. Grown men don't know how to gauge how hostile you may be and typically assume a woman who is willing to look them in the eye and forcefully tell them off could just as easily be armed and dangerous.
I have a neighbor who is well-intentioned but a little aggressive about wanting to socialize. He may ring my doorbell at odd hours and ask if I want to have a beer (often with others, which is cool) or do something. I just answer the door and flatly say "No." and he gets the hint and leaves. Like, I know he's well-meaning but I don't want to get it confused: when I want to engage, I'll pursue it. Any other time, I am very forward about refusing offers or conversations.
Good luck!
"SS=stripper shit, in the same spectrum as CS=customer shit, which is within the spectrum of SaS=sales shit, which is all contained in the universe of BS=bullshit." -- Jay Zeno (mod)
"Show me a hot chick and I'll show you someone who's tired of fucking her."





Hey thanks, everybody! I do have wasp spray, actually it's foam. I don't think the foam would work (on humans), but the spray, it's a GREAT idea!!
Really it's not overtly dangerous here (not talking about just him) but there's potential for trouble. I am/try to be very aware!
example: I am walking down the access road to our mail box hut..this weird beotch resident here, walking the opposite way, comes toward me..keep in mind the road has about 2 1/2 car length width, she goes from her side to mine, just to get in my way, & to make me walk around her!? I mean, really?
MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP
-Eartha Kitt
omg.....this reminds me of the other day....i was driving a rental car...2011 cadillac...and the gas light came on as the guage said i had half a tank....wtf??? so i pull off the highway just to be safe and get some gas. now of course its in jankyville....lolololol. this guy is in the middle of the lot shouting JESUS!!!!!(how come crazy ppl all eventually bring Jesus into it? lol) he kept thwarting ppl...walking way over to block them etc......i figured my computer needing to be reset was the problem with the guage....and that driving to another station would have a way better outcome! lol weirdos......
i carry/have available all sorts of 'convenient' weapons......my car key snaps open....and its perfect for eye gouging .....thinks cops cant fault YOU for....etc
June Cleaver stripper





Tonight, as I was getting ready to head out to wal mart, I look in my rearview, & see him standing down the access road (he lives 2 houses from me) just staring Creepy, very.![]()
MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP
-Eartha Kitt




It sounds like you do need to bring the property management into it, and possibly the police. I would say since he's already had a DUI he might very well be on probation so whatever complaint is made could be kicked to his probation officer.
Now, I do think, due to this and your other friction with the property management, that you should move asap, but the thing is-- he will just start up freaking out another girl who may not be able to protect herself as well as you.
So I say leave a paper trail so if some woman after you needs to complain, it's taken more seriously. I certainly hope it's taken seriously in your case, but it also sounds like he just needs some tough love from some direction to knock shit off.
I had a older male neighbor who was a complete creep who wanted to socialize and I finally had to tell him after two mornings in a row of waking me up to see if I wanted to go to lunch (which I never did--though I did check out his house once though I certainly had my pepper spray on me and stayed aware because I was giving him the benefit of the doubt of if he was being nice anti-social, or if he was going to be one of those turds who was going to increasingly become a problem. Thinking back I feel way stupid I even ever let him chat me up.)
So definitely use the mean thing, but back this up by dealing with the property management, telling them, and going to the cops and insisting his probation officer deals with him.





Thanks hun^ He's now out there setting off fireworks, & has the firepit going, ugh. I was going to call the cops, but he stopped now
Also: he got in a fight (argument) with another neighbor, police came & put him in handcuffs, but let him go, this was a couple weeks ago
MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP
-Eartha Kitt




I say tell him again how hes bothering you and if he doesn't get the picture I would call the management or the police. If its a locked apartment building place the management first, if not I would call the cops first.





Another thing to consider, there are small flashlights bright enough if you shine them in an assailants eyes at night, he wont be able to see, long enough for you to get away. I recently discovered there are LOTS of them, besides the expensive surefires we have all heard of.
http://www.batteryjunction.com/flashlight-tactical.html



I just went through a situation with an awkward neighbor following and staring at me all the time. Hope yours gets the picture and moves on. Def start a paper trail, you never know what else he may have done or will do in the future, where this information would be helpful. Take discreet pics of his behavior on your phone. In situations like where he watched you get in the car, get on your phone and pretend to make a call about it, don't let him think he's scaring you. Can you install an alarm or get a big dog for security? Continue being aware, and keep mace on your keychain maybe keep a bat in the house.





Is moving to another place an option? If you're having issues with property management and neighbors, maybe it would be worth finding another place to live.





I'd so LOVE to move; however, no it's not an option. I am/have been working on it, I really hope to get out of here for good, for all practial purposes it's quite a dive here
Gummy: dogs aren't allowed, I am looking into getting some type of alarm that turns on lights/radio when doors/windows are messed with.
MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP
-Eartha Kitt





Umm honestly? Move. ASAP. You're going to be paranoid until you move. When I still lived with my parents (I'm young, so this was fairly recent), my next door neighbor's new husband would always hit on me when she wasn't around. Not in the traditional sense, but in the creepy I-know-you-are-a-stalker sense. Sometimes I would see him standing outside my house just kinda looking. He did that A LOT! Who does that?? Considering my room was at the front of the house, and I had a large window, that was really weird. I randomly moved out one night.
Rule #1: TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS! Always be aware of your surroundings.
Rule #2: Pepper spray and taser always
Rule #3: Keep all windows & doors locked
Rule #4: Have a notebook somewhere (maybe keep it in some drawer in your kitchen or dining room or something) where you write about strange people / occurrences. This will be EXTREMELY helpful should you start to notice a weird pattern or need to prove something in court, restraining order, etc.
Rule #5: File a police report if something bad does happen. If if its small or its a suspicious (ex.: you *suspect* there's been a break-in in your home). That'll come in handy later should something happen
Rule #6: Mention these suspicions to close family/friends





I would NOT even do that! Some men CANNOT take rejection, and may seek out some sick form of revenge. For all anyone knows, he could be a psycho whose created some false reality love story. You never know. Avoid him, is what I'd recommend. Don't talk to him or engage him in any conversation.
I also think you should look up sex offenders in your area, and see if his name and or picture comes up!! You never know! He might have a history!
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