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Thread: Completely & Utterly UN-Confident!

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    Default Completely & Utterly UN-Confident!

    Hello, I am a 20 year old mama to a 4 month old baby & we are barely scraping by. I need something that will hire me with the hours I want & that will pay great. So, taking your clothes off is easy enough right???
    I am 5 ft tall (yes that's all) & I'm sure that I weight in around 140lbs still from my pregnancy as I cannot seem to drop the weight. I have a pouchy little stomache that doesn't look like much of anything... until I bend down or sit & it becomes a huge roll of flab. So not only am I extremely short & a tid bit over weight, I now have stretch mark on the tops of each ass cheeks, & all acrobat my thighs going almost to my knees! (The ones on my stomache ate barely there at all, thank the good Lord.)
    I have no confidence whatsoever... Alas! I have a stripper friend who would really like me to join her at work who shanks I would do great. She says I am bottom thick & a lot of guys enjoy watching a fat butt wiggle across the stage (thanks, haha).

    I need tips, pointers, how to's if you will.
    I can't walk in heels to save my life; I know because I have been trying to walk around in them all day & night around the house. I can't dance like I used to in high school for some reason. AND my sexy little me has been gone because I have been with the same guy for almost 5 years.

    What should I do to prepare myself mentally & physically?

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    Default Re: Completely & Utterly UN-Confident!

    Sorry for all the typos I am doing this on a phone & it likes to think it can read my mind.

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    Default Re: Completely & Utterly UN-Confident!

    There's tons of dancers with stretch marks, cellulite, and flab.....and they are still sexy, and good dancers. No ones perfect. But if you are insecure...and not confident, people will see that and you wont be successful. I truley believe those who have strong minds and who are confident, will make great money. I see some ugly ass girls...but they carry themselves high, and they are very successful. So looks don't always matter....they definitely help though Haha. There's lots of ways to hide your flaws. Try doing a search on here for specific problems

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    God/dess tempest666's Avatar
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    Default Re: Completely & Utterly UN-Confident!

    Hit the gym. Grow some balls. Practice walking in heels. Stop whining about how fat you are and do something about it. You just had a kid. Nobody expects you to be Polly Pornstar after 4 months.

    If you say you have no confidence you've already lost. Go get a vanilla job if you don't have confidence because in this industry confidence isn't an option and only the strong survive.
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
    Tempest

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    God/dess 4everresolutions's Avatar
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    Default Re: Completely & Utterly UN-Confident!

    Tempest nailed it. Also, we have tons of fabulous information already written up at the top of each section. Read through all of it. There's no way the members of SW can give specific, directed advice to every single newbie who posts here - we'd be all day typing.

    Seriously. Read the Stickies.

    http://forum.stripperweb.com/showthread.php?t=40284 - Read Both posts
    http://forum.stripperweb.com/showthread.php?t=48674 - read down the whole page
    http://forum.stripperweb.com/showthread.php?t=60870 - only 5 posts long, read 'em all.
    http://forum.stripperweb.com/showthread.php?t=81481 - Saftey tips. VERY important.

    In addition to all those stickies...

    Here's a rececent commentary on weight-loss and views of weight in the industry. It's a lot about hiring standards in a specific location, but there's lots of general advice in there too. Pay attention to Odette's post on the 2nd page for tips about starting to eat healthy. The OP lists her height weight at 5'4" and 148.

    http://forum.stripperweb.com/showthread.php?t=158279


    If after reading all that you have more questions then post away m'dear! And good luck!

    Edit: What BOTM said was spot on too. Having no confidence is a dealbreaker. Until you get your swagger back (or can fake a swagger) then try for a 'normal' job.



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    Default Re: Completely & Utterly UN-Confident!

    Guys can smell that you lack confidence, and they'll attack it like a shark to a surfer. Tone up/lose weight. And as for heels, start small and graduate as you go along/get better at it. Stretch marks? Good makeup can help.

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    Default Re: Completely & Utterly UN-Confident!

    I wish I could say that any of you really helped me.
    What you don't know is that I'm already hired at a strip club. My best friend is best friends with the owner & he seems to think that I will do great! Furthermore, rent is due on Sept 1st & I have no car so it would have to be a job I can walk to. Stripping is my only option to save this apartment.
    (Controlling boyfriend walked out on us.)

    Special I cannot go get a vanilla job & I cannot just spend months losing the weight. I have been walking in heels around my house every single day & all I wanted were tips from other people on what helped thrm with their confidence & other specific topics that I brought up.

    Thank you.

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    God/dess DesuvsDeath's Avatar
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    Default Re: Completely & Utterly UN-Confident!

    Quote Originally Posted by kaylani View Post
    all I wanted were tips from other people on what helped thrm with their confidence & other specific topics that I brought up.
    People WERE talking about things you've brought up, though. And there was some solid advice in there.
    I'd suggust in the furture that you be very specific; if you only want to talk about one thing... you should only provide info on that/ask specifically about that in your post or you'll get a whole range of answers that aren't what you want to hear.

    I... had thought to write some advice. But I suspect it's just going to get dismissed anway.
    Last edited by DesuvsDeath; 08-09-2011 at 01:31 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by camille27 View Post
    i am losing my fucking mind and i really just want this chloroform dream because i think that would just get me right with jesus.

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    God/dess britneyireland's Avatar
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    Default Re: Completely & Utterly UN-Confident!

    Start by visualizing yourself as completely and utterly CONFIDENT!!!!

    State things in the positive, think empowering thoughts.

    I have a free video that teaches you how to get in the Zone, just click on the link in my siggy.
    Rebecca Avalon







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    Default Re: Completely & Utterly UN-Confident!

    i was done at taking your clothes off is easy.
    and i was really done when you came back and had the audacity to write off all the people who bothered to help you.

    you're 20. humility is a beautiful thing.

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    God/dess tempest666's Avatar
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    Default Re: Completely & Utterly UN-Confident!

    Quote Originally Posted by BringOnTheMen View Post
    Well, first you said: "So, taking your clothes off is easy enough right???"

    And then you went on to describe all of the reasons why it would not be easy for you.

    Soooo....get a vanilla job and revisit the idea of dancing once you have fixed all of the things you mentioned in your post. Because I really don't see a scenario where a SC newbie who is 5' 140 lbs and lacking any confidence would get hired and make easy money.

    I don't like to play the devil's advocate buuuuut unless it was in TNA I agree with you. I'm only 5' and I have to watch every llb that I gain. Even 5llbs is a noticable difference and I carry it all in my tits and ass.

    And I will agree. Taking off your clothes is easy enough. Any little doughball with a pair of church shoes and a wal mart bra and pantie set can walk onstage and take off their clothes.

    Being a stripper is a whole other ballgame. It requires a strong mind and balls of steel. Not everyone has them.
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
    Tempest

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    Default Re: Completely & Utterly UN-Confident!

    Quote Originally Posted by kaylani View Post
    I wish I could say that any of you really helped me.

    Thank you.
    Well pardon me. I thought I had helped you. I directed you to all the newbie threads about how to get hired, how to hustle, what to take with you, what to expect. I don't see how I could have been more helpful aside from just copy and pasting all that info directly into this thread to save you the massive task of clicking on the links I posted.

    I'm completely shocked at how you disregarded all the info posted just for you.

    Hopefully as you get older you'll lose that sense of entitlement....



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    Default Re: Completely & Utterly UN-Confident!

    They fall on their ass and they learn. move along. next topic please.
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
    Tempest

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    Default Re: Completely & Utterly UN-Confident!

    I thought you guys were all really helpful and pretty damn polite.

    If you don't have the confidence and you feel bad about your body it'll definitely be obvious.
    Sounds like you could use some cardio to strengthen and increase your endurance. I was just reading this- http://forum.stripperweb.com/showthread.php?t=55878 found it pretty interesting
    Good luck!

    http://lulusugar.wordpress.com/

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    Default Re: Completely & Utterly UN-Confident!

    Fake the confidence. Look for outfits that emphasize your best parts/hide the flaws. Walk in your heels while doing housework--vacuuming, dishes, etc. You don't need to be a good dancer, just pose, run your hands over your body, make eye contact. Point your toes, arch your back, tummy in, butt out.

    You're getting tough love because stripping is not easy and definitely not for everyone. So many girls go in thinking all they have to do is take off their clothes. Burnout is really high, and if you're not in the right state of mind, you won't last long.

    Just pretend you have that confidence, and eventually it'll feel real. Good luck.

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    Default Re: Completely & Utterly UN-Confident!

    Thank you lilykane & britneyireland. I think those two posts are the ones I like the most as I understand what you are saying as far as fake it till you make it & you both didn't say anything about my reply being rude.

    To everyone else, thank you as well. I wasn't meaning that any of your advice was bad. All I said was that it didn't pinpoint each subject. & I was saying it as a whole to everyone's posts when I guess I should have; I don't know, maybe pointed out the ones that I thought were rude? I would rather not play games.

    I do agree the I am over weight. I am not denying that. I think twas tempest666 who said that every little pound shows. It really does! The weight I gained from my pregnancy put me on my ass. I have Never weight this much. I used to weigh 110 & that was with my bottom half still being thick! & losing it being this short is even harder.

    I am going to try this "fake" confidence over the next couple of days & hopefully, when I go in & show the owner my goods, he won't tell me to practice some more before coming back.

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    God/dess 4everresolutions's Avatar
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    Default Re: Completely & Utterly UN-Confident!

    I thought you were already hired?



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    Default Re: Completely & Utterly UN-Confident!

    Stop being so rude and unhelpful!!
    Quote Originally Posted by 4everresolutions View Post
    i thought you were already hired?

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    Smiley Re: Completely & Utterly UN-Confident!

    Quote Originally Posted by 4everresolutions View Post
    I thought you were already hired?

    Yeah I'd like to chime in about how rude and unhelpful 4ever was to me the other day via googlechat.


    FYI I'm in the clear. Thanks for being a friend.
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
    Tempest

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    Default Re: Completely & Utterly UN-Confident!

    I am already hired, as I stated in that same exact post so I see no need to ask me that question. But what owner of a strip club is going to a put a girl, & a friend for that matter, on stage without seeing what she can do & making sure I can get money from it?

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    God/dess 4everresolutions's Avatar
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    Default Re: Completely & Utterly UN-Confident!

    Quote Originally Posted by camille27 View Post
    Stop being so rude and unhelpful!!
    Stop being so mean. Is it cuz I'm white? Racist.

    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Yeah I'd like to chime in about how rude and unhelpful 4ever was to me the other day via googlechat.


    FYI I'm in the clear. Thanks for being a friend.
    So glad to hear it! I was wondering how you were doing. <3333

    Quote Originally Posted by kaylani View Post
    I am already hired, as I stated in that same exact post so I see no need to ask me that question. But what owner of a strip club is going to a put a girl, & a friend for that matter, on stage without seeing what she can do & making sure I can get money from it?
    My bad.



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    God/dess DesuvsDeath's Avatar
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    Default Re: Completely & Utterly UN-Confident!

    Idk. That sounds like an appt to audition to me... since there's a chance you might not be allowed to work.

    In which case, it matters that you impress. You said you have a belly that looks unflattering in multiple positions. I'd advise wearing something that covers it. Something you can pull down to expose breasts and up to expose ass without removing it and exposing your "huge roll of flab" as you called it.

    Managers DO hire girls without putting them on stage, btw. It's just not as common as having to audition.

    Quote Originally Posted by 4everresolutions View Post
    Stop being so mean. Is it cuz I'm white? Racist.
    Excuse me.
    EXCUSE ME.
    Did any of the tall girls get points?
    Quote Originally Posted by camille27 View Post
    i am losing my fucking mind and i really just want this chloroform dream because i think that would just get me right with jesus.

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    Default Re: Completely & Utterly UN-Confident!

    Quote Originally Posted by DesuvsDeath View Post
    Excuse me.
    EXCUSE ME.
    Did any of the tall girls get points?
    STFU you skinny bi*** I know you see how many stars I haz....



    To the OP: If you don't have your outfit picked out yet, I recommend a sexy dress. I'm a larger woman and dresses have never done me wrong. You can pull your boobs out and lift it to show your bum without revealing your weak spots.



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  32. #24
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    Default Re: Completely & Utterly UN-Confident!

    um, this happens all the time. but i forgot that you know more than we do.

    Quote Originally Posted by kaylani View Post
    But what owner of a strip club is going to a put a girl, & a friend for that matter, on stage without seeing what she can do & making sure I can get money from it?

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    God/dess tempest666's Avatar
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    Default Re: Completely & Utterly UN-Confident!

    I'm sooooo glad I'm getting my tata's to fast track my retirement! Screw you guys, I'm going home!
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
    Tempest

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