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Thread: pregnant and freaking out

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    Default pregnant and freaking out

    OK, this will probably be a long one... sorry ya'll.

    I found out earlier this week I am pregnant. I am a little less than 5 weeks along.
    My boyfriend and I always always always use a condom (I do not like HBC because of the way my body reacts to it). We had sex and the condom failed, but it was a Sunday night and we could not go get Plan B until the next day because everything was closed. Unfortunately this just also happened to be right during my most fertile window... so yeah now I am pregnant.

    I am pro-choice and always believed I would get an abortion if I became pregnant. My boyfriend and I have talked about this in the past and we both agreed to this. When I first saw the results of the test I wasn't scared or upset, because I knew I was going to have an abortion and I did not feel bad about it at all. My boyfriend and I use protection and bought the Plan B because we do not want a child and I did not want to be pregnant. I did everything I could to prevent this from happening, and I did not feel any obligation to continue the pregnancy just because it did. I didn't feel sad or guilty. I was 100% confident in my choice to have an abortion.

    I told my mother (who I am close with) about what was going on and how I was going to handle it. Right away she told me she thought I was making a mistake (which was not the response I was expecting). At first I just didn't want to hurt her feelings or make her sad, but now I think some things she has said to me has really gotten to me.
    After a few days my confidence started to falter. She's encouraged me to keep it, which I am not ready for and do not want to do. Then she started encouraging me to consider adoption.

    This is when I really started to feel uncertain. Now part of me feels like I should continue the pregnancy and put the baby up for adoption. I feel so torn between the two choices.

    I am a student and I plan to strip my way through school (and I'm planning on a lot of school). I love dancing, the flexability is perfect and I make enough money work 2-3 days a week to support myself and build a savings. I am happier now than I have been in a long time and my job is part of that. If I continue the pregnancy I will have to quit stripping, I'm not sure for how long but I know it could be for a while (from when I start showing until I give birth and get back in shape). I don't know how I will support myself or continue school during this time. I live with my boyfriend, but it seems unfair to ask him to support me while I'm pregnant since he wants and has always wanted an abortion.

    This may sound very shallow, but I have to be completely honest with myself. I love my body and the way I look (for the most part). I know there are beautiful women out there with children, I don't mean to offend anyone. But I am terrified that my body will change and that I won't like it. It took me a long time to get to point where I truly loved my body and I am afraid to lose that. I'm afraid my body won't bounce back and I'll have to give up dancing. I was recently hired at a club with notorious high standards, and as silly as it sounds I took some pride in that. Like I said it all sounds so shallow but these are my real feelings and I have to be honest about it.
    I am also terrified of giving birth, and the possibility of having a c-section. Really, I have never wanted to be pregnant and don't want to be now. I was never sure if I wanted kids, but if I did I always knew I would want to adopt.


    However, on the other hand, I feel like I have this voice inside of me saying "What? You want to get an abortion so you can stay hot and be a STRIPPER?" I know on some level this isn't entirely true, because it's not just being hot and a stripper it's school and money and the security that comes along with it. It's also something that brings me happiness. Plus the general desire to not go through a pregnancy and birth. And I didn't feel any obligation to start with, and when I really think about it I still don't think I do, so it shouldn't even matter WHY I want it... But then again it's not like being a stripper is a forever job, it's only temporary. And it's not like looks are permanent anyway.... I guess I'm just afraid if I get the abortion that voice will become the main voice, and I'll find all my reasons silly and superficial and regret what I've done.


    Anyway, it's late and I can't sleep. I don't know if the hormones have anything to do with it, but tonight I had my first real meltdown since I found out. I just needed to let it out, and sometimes when you hear advice/opinions/experiences from other people it helps put things in perspective...

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    Default Re: pregnant and freaking out

    I respect whatever choice you make. I am also pro-choice for people that dont use abortion as plan a birth control since this happens at times people arnt ready and took precautions for this not to happen. However I am adopted so I can say IMO adoption isnt all bad. My birthmom tells me it was the hardest thing to do and there are times she regrets it but she knows I got a better life then she could of given me.
    So I can say if I were in your shoes I would consider abortion because of the same reasons you listed yet my bf and I really want to adopt a kid... now lol so I can see where adoption would make some family out there VERY happy for giving them what they dont have (I can have kids but being adopted I really want to adopt a kid first and so does the bf/fiance..)
    You have a bit of time to decide. maybe speak to an adoption agency and get all the facts because theres a lot to it....
    Good luck with everything, and dont forget only you really knows in the end what is rite for this specific situation..

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    Default Re: pregnant and freaking out

    I have never been pregnant before, so I don't have much useful advice to add.. but I feel for you!! If I were to get pregnant right now, I'd be in the exact same situation as you. I've had a couple scares before so I've definitely given the possibility a lot of thought. How old are you? Does your boyfriend work right now or is he still in school?

    I always used to think that if I got pregnant I'd automatically have an abortion.. but as I get older and more capable of caring for a child I feel more guilt about that. It seems like that's how you're starting to feel about pregnancy too. I can't imagine how hard it would be to give a child up for adoption. I think if your mom is willing to help you out, you should keep the baby if you do decide to continue your pregnancy. This is an important decision that only you can make though. Despite how your mom or boyfriend may feel, this is your choice.

    There never really is a "right" time to have a baby. Some people plan their babies, but for most it comes as a surprise. I will add that not a single one of my friends who got pregnant by accident regrets their decision to keep their baby. They say despite it being the hardest job of their life, it is also the most rewarding and fulfilling. When I think about it that way, it makes me feel better.

    You're not alone, and I hope that you are able to reach a decision you can be at peace with

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    Default Re: pregnant and freaking out

    Quote Originally Posted by charlieH View Post
    I respect whatever choice you make. I am also pro-choice for people that dont use abortion as plan a birth control since this happens at times people arnt ready and took precautions for this not to happen. However I am adopted so I can say IMO adoption isnt all bad. My birthmom tells me it was the hardest thing to do and there are times she regrets it but she knows I got a better life then she could of given me.
    So I can say if I were in your shoes I would consider abortion because of the same reasons you listed yet my bf and I really want to adopt a kid... now lol so I can see where adoption would make some family out there VERY happy for giving them what they dont have (I can have kids but being adopted I really want to adopt a kid first and so does the bf/fiance..)
    You have a bit of time to decide. maybe speak to an adoption agency and get all the facts because theres a lot to it....
    Good luck with everything, and dont forget only you really knows in the end what is rite for this specific situation..
    Thank you. This definitely gives me another perspective to think about.


    Quote Originally Posted by *Jade*Love View Post
    I have never been pregnant before, so I don't have much useful advice to add.. but I feel for you!! If I were to get pregnant right now, I'd be in the exact same situation as you. I've had a couple scares before so I've definitely given the possibility a lot of thought. How old are you? Does your boyfriend work right now or is he still in school?

    I always used to think that if I got pregnant I'd automatically have an abortion.. but as I get older and more capable of caring for a child I feel more guilt about that. It seems like that's how you're starting to feel about pregnancy too. I can't imagine how hard it would be to give a child up for adoption. I think if your mom is willing to help you out, you should keep the baby if you do decide to continue your pregnancy. This is an important decision that only you can make though. Despite how your mom or boyfriend may feel, this is your choice.

    There never really is a "right" time to have a baby. Some people plan their babies, but for most it comes as a surprise. I will add that not a single one of my friends who got pregnant by accident regrets their decision to keep their baby. They say despite it being the hardest job of their life, it is also the most rewarding and fulfilling. When I think about it that way, it makes me feel better.

    You're not alone, and I hope that you are able to reach a decision you can be at peace with
    I am 24. My boyfriend takes classes online and also has a job, but he has to travel a lot for it and can potentially be gone for months at a time.

    I do not think I am ready for a kid emotionally or financially, and I know my boyfriend feels the same way, so that´s why I´m considering adoption and not keeping it myself. I know that giving up a child I actually grew in my body that was a part of me would be very hard, but I know that if I do continue the pregnancy that would be the best thing.
    It´s weird because I don´t think abortion is morally wrong, it´s just like once my mom got me thinking about adoption I can´t get it out of my head. Hopefully once I have had more time to think things through the answer will be more clear for me.
    Thank you for your support.

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    Default Re: pregnant and freaking out

    Quote Originally Posted by sierra. View Post
    However, on the other hand, I feel like I have this voice inside of me saying "What? You want to get an abortion so you can stay hot and be a STRIPPER?"
    I agree that this reason by itself is a terrible reason to get an abortion. I remember reading gypsys "im pregnant" thred from a few yrs ago and thought it totally dumb when one member told her "but ur just getting into ur rhythm with stripping!!" I agree stripping is a temp for-now job that people like u and gypsy do/did just to get thru school.

    I also agree that u should rethink abortion. I mean u have a solid bf who u already live with. Yea ur in school but lots of people finish school while they have kids. In fact, a lotta grad school students are adults with families but they still get thru med school or law school. If u make more then enough income in 2-3days of stripping, then try to work extra shifts in the next few months if possible to build some more savings for the months u can't work. Bein u dont have prior kids, u prolly won't show til 4 or 5 months anyway esp since u keep urself in good shape. (more toned stomachs give in less to pregnancy then flabby, untoned bellys for the first half of it) also, if ur so involved in college, see if u can scope out any extra work study, tutoring, etc gigs to get u thru the months that ur too big to dance...tutoring is a relaxing job (not physically taxing) and it pays decent too, I made $15-20/hr as a tutor in college. Alongside work study u can try to line up a waitress or doorgirl job at ur club or a different one for those months ur not dancing.

    I've been in ur exact situation before with the failed condom + failed morning after contraception, got pregnant when not planning it, always THOUGHT I was pro choice til o actually had to make the decision. Then I decided to take responsibility and have the baby. In the end I miscarried early and even tho the baby's death was not my fault, I felt so resentful of the abortion that I became baby and pregnancy obsessed for the next few yrs til I had my son. And yes the emotional rollercoaster I went on in those few yrs that followed my first miscarriage were even more grim than it sounds.

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    Default Re: pregnant and freaking out

    I'm adopted and have an adopted sibling so let me just say this:

    Adoption is an extremely long and grueling emotional process for everyone involved. Not only will you have to endure an entire pregnancy and have your body changed, possibly permamnetly, you're going to have to go through selecting an agency, selecting a lawer (you should probably also get a good psych therapist, while you're at it) and finding and building a relationship with perhaps several perspective adoptive parents. You may like some, you may like none. Its going to cost time and money and ALL of your energy. You have every right not to want to go through with that process. This isn't 'Juno', this is your life. Do you want to spend the next year doing this or do you want to just go with your original plan?

    It may sound strange but I typically do not suggest people endure pregnacy, for adoption as opposed to obtaining an abortion. There are so many variables and unknowns and unless you are extremely organized and assertive, you stand a good chance of others simply taking the reigns of your entire life (for about a year), in the name of your giving the child "a better opportunity". I only suggest it if your heart is absolutely in it. You WANT to be pregnant with this baby and you WANT to commit to finding it a family you see as a perfect fit. Anything less and you are looking at what could potentially be the single most traumatic experience of your life. I've seen adoptions go wrong, I've seen adoptions go right. Its a hard process. Do what's right for YOU.

    Feel free to PM me about adoption stuff, whether or not you decide to do it, if you have questions. I'm a huge supporter of adoption, obviously but I've seen it effect my family in so many ways. There's no single "right" way to go through it. If its what you opt for, you're going to find yourself with a wide variety of options. Good luck.
    Last edited by vivianbear; 08-11-2011 at 11:18 AM.
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    Default Re: pregnant and freaking out

    Don't get an abortion while you're feeling so unsure. My friend panicked and got one immediately after she found out was pregnant, and five years later she lists it as her biggest regret in life. It is a serious decision, and I think it's a really good thing that you're taking it so seriously.

    As far as stripping and your body, you can get your body back to almost how it is now. This might sound silly, but Jessica Alba gave some really good tips about it in an interview somewhere. And I'm not sure how quickly you'll show, but I think you should be able to dance through your fifth month, possibly your sixth.

    Also, you can start looking for a family to adopt. They might actually be able to help with medical expenses, and possibly other expenses since you'll have to take time off from work.

    It is your body, though, and it has to be your decision. Of course your boyfriend should have some say, but ultimately it's up to you. See what type of support is available in your area--there might be support groups, free/reduced therapy, etc.

    I'm sorry you're having to deal with this, and I hope you're able to figure out what's right for you.

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    Default Re: pregnant and freaking out

    What did your mom say to convince you to keep it? It sounds like you were really sure about the abortion, but something she said must have gotten to you. If it's just guilt-tripping, try to not talk to her for a little while, take a breather from anyone else's opinions or judgments and think about what you really want to do. It's not up to your mom, and it's not up to your boyfriend. It's up to you. If you're not ready and you don't know if you could go through with an adoption, or want to go through the entirety of pregnancy just to put it up for adoption, then do what feels right to you. If you want to keep it, that's also your choice, no matter what you originally discussed with your bf.

    I don't think your life or body would be "ruined" if you had a baby, but you would also be free of a lot of complications to continue with your plans if you chose not to have it. It's your personal decision. I would take some time away from everyone, make your choice without all their input, and come back confident in whatever you chose.

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    Default Re: pregnant and freaking out

    Also factor in the possible expense of grievance counseling that might be needed after getting an abortion, esp if the abortion is done hastily or with any doubt in the back of ur mind.

    Word to what lilykane said.

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    Default Re: pregnant and freaking out

    Throughout your entire post you have reitterated over and over again how much you don't want a child. Even if that were not the case, it is incredibly apparent in everything else you've said. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT. Do not commit yourself to something you know you don't want to be a part of in any way shape or form. Adoption means you still have to carry this child. It will still take the same emotional and physical toll. You know how you felt. You know how ok you were with the decision. Others can have their opinion, its YOUR body and YOUR decision. My advice is to not let others influence the way you know you feel. Sure, life doesn't always go to plan but theres a time and a place for everything.
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    Default Re: pregnant and freaking out

    I think having an abortion because you want to dance is a completely reasonable reason. Who would I or anyone be to say your reason isn't good enough? It's your body your life and simply an unfortunate oops. You don't need a special approved reason. That you two are not up for it right now is reason enough. I agree that you should take a little time to re-group and stay away from other people with an agenda so you can decide if this is your time to be a mommy or not. Mind you, you may be a mommy but your guy may decide not to continue the relationship so you have to make the decision based on the fact that he may walk. Good luck.
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    Default Re: pregnant and freaking out

    I think you should have an abortion. Your mother and family will pressure you to keep the baby.....they will make you feel guilty. They will become excited about having a grandchild... Your body WILL change. Rarely do a see someone who had a kid whose body did not change in some way. You are taking the risk of completely changing your body. My body changed completely after my 1st child. I gained 60 pounds...got stretch marks everywhere...no more perky boobies! Not to mention even your skin can change...your hair changes (mine got thinner)...you just never know what can happen.......
    I got pregnant at 18, I wanted to have an abortion. My mother pressured me into keeping the baby. I love my daughter, and I think I am a damn good mother. However....I wish I would have waited. She really fucked up my body, and my life. I had to change everything. I didn't get to enjoy myself and build my own life. Also, I have huge resentments towards my mother for pressuring me and for making me feel guilty about not wanting to keep her. Also, I feel angry bc I know that my daughter suffered bc I was not ready for a child. She doesn't have her dad around, she had to endure my immaturity and mistakes of being a young not ready to parent parent.

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    Default Re: pregnant and freaking out

    Ms. Sierra, I have often read your posts and I am always impressed with your intelligence and thoughtfulness.

    I know that the other ladies who have posted share my respect for you, since their posts have all been honest, straightforward, and very kind.

    I join with the others in voicing my support for whatever you decide.

    As others have already posted, this decision concerns your body and your life. Others have a right to voice their opinions, but it's only right that the ultimate decision is entirely yours.

    I join with the other ladies who have already sent you strengthening good wishes. You are a powerful, intelligent, strong young woman.

    (Please feel free to send me a PM, now or at any time, if you wish.)

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    Default Re: pregnant and freaking out

    Quote Originally Posted by lilykane View Post
    Don't get an abortion while you're feeling so unsure. My friend panicked and got one immediately after she found out was pregnant, and five years later she lists it as her biggest regret in life. It is a serious decision, and I think it's a really good thing that you're taking it so seriously.
    I just wanted to reiterate the fact that you shouldn't get an abortion while you're feeling so uncertain, because it's not a choice you can take back and there ARE people who regret their decision.
    You have time to decide and to think about it... so take a week or two to really think things through and decide what's been so you can be sure of your decision whatever you choose.
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    Quote Originally Posted by amorescudero View Post
    I think you should have an abortion. Your mother and family will pressure you to keep the baby.....they will make you feel guilty. They will become excited about having a grandchild... Your body WILL change. Rarely do a see someone who had a kid whose body did not change in some way. You are taking the risk of completely changing your body. My body changed completely after my 1st child. I gained 60 pounds...got stretch marks everywhere...no more perky boobies! Not to mention even your skin can change...your hair changes (mine got thinner)...you just never know what can happen.......
    I got pregnant at 18, I wanted to have an abortion. My mother pressured me into keeping the baby. I love my daughter, and I think I am a damn good mother. However....I wish I would have waited. She really fucked up my body, and my life. I had to change everything. I didn't get to enjoy myself and build my own life. Also, I have huge resentments towards my mother for pressuring me and for making me feel guilty about not wanting to keep her. Also, I feel angry bc I know that my daughter suffered bc I was not ready for a child. She doesn't have her dad around, she had to endure my immaturity and mistakes of being a young not ready to parent parent.
    1. You were 18; she's 24. There's a big difference between 18 and 24 in terms of being established and independent.

    2. If she is already in good shape enough to get hired at a top club, then she's more likely (not guaranteed, but LIKELY) to get back to her pre-baby size after she has the baby. Yeah it'll take a little time, but it's NOT impossible.

    3. I actually find the "saggy boobs" argument to be less relevant for dancers, since many dancers already have boob jobs and/or are thinking of getting boob jobs at some point. If she continues to dance after she has the baby, and if sagging is a huge issue, then a boob job (which many strippers opt to get anyway) will fix that. I'm not saying this should be one's primary reason for getting a boob job, just that if one was already planning on one, then post pregnancy sagging is one less issue to worry about.

    4. As much as you might resent your mom for pressuring you into keeping your daughter, I know plenty of people who resent the people who pressured them to choose abortion too. I'm one of those resentful people, and I never even got an abortion...but their pressures stressed and upset me to the point of miscarriage, so I resented (still do) them because of that.

    5. IMHO I find looks-based reasons to justify abortion to be rather shallow. Besides, I know plenty of young moms who look good. I also know plenty of childless young women with flabby little A-cup boobs shaped like triangles, and childless women who have extra chunk and stretch marks around their middle like something one would expect to see on a mom. So even if someone validated looks as a justifiable reason, there's no guarantee that the OP won't still look very beautiful within a relatively short time after she gives birth.

    6. For the OP, stripping is a temporary job; abortion is a permanent decision.

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    Default Re: pregnant and freaking out

    Quote Originally Posted by kthnx View Post
    1. You were 18; she's 24. There's a big difference between 18 and 24 in terms of being established and independent.

    2. If she is already in good shape enough to get hired at a top club, then she's more likely (not guaranteed, but LIKELY) to get back to her pre-baby size after she has the baby. Yeah it'll take a little time, but it's NOT impossible.

    3. I actually find the "saggy boobs" argument to be less relevant for dancers, since many dancers already have boob jobs and/or are thinking of getting boob jobs at some point. If she continues to dance after she has the baby, and if sagging is a huge issue, then a boob job (which many strippers opt to get anyway) will fix that. I'm not saying this should be one's primary reason for getting a boob job, just that if one was already planning on one, then post pregnancy sagging is one less issue to worry about.

    4. As much as you might resent your mom for pressuring you into keeping your daughter, I know plenty of people who resent the people who pressured them to choose abortion too. I'm one of those resentful people, and I never even got an abortion...but their pressures stressed and upset me to the point of miscarriage, so I resented (still do) them because of that.

    5. IMHO I find looks-based reasons to justify abortion to be rather shallow. Besides, I know plenty of young moms who look good. I also know plenty of childless young women with flabby little A-cup boobs shaped like triangles, and childless women who have extra chunk and stretch marks around their middle like something one would expect to see on a mom. So even if someone validated looks as a justifiable reason, there's no guarantee that the OP won't still look very beautiful within a relatively short time after she gives birth.

    6. For the OP, stripping is a temporary job; abortion is a permanent decision.
    How YOU feel is irrelevant here. So are your personal feelings towards every one of her points about why she doesn't want to do this. It's her decision, her body, her life. Not yours. The fact that you think none of her "reasons" have merit is irrelevant as well. She doesn't have to justify anything to anyone. She needs to do what's right for her.
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    Default Re: pregnant and freaking out

    Whatever you choose, make sure it is YOUR choice. Quite honestly? You don't need any reason aside from what you feel is right for YOU. No one else has to live with the consequences of your actions.

    I've had two abortions, and as I have said, they were both a breeze. I never felt anything but pure relief. No grief, crying, etc. I was on BC both times, and married. But I did what was right for me. Truthfully, I hardly ever think about it.

    Either way, don't let us or your mom or whomever decide for you, guilt you, or influence your decision. This is between you and your boyfriend, point blank.

    Good luck girl.

  29. #18
    God/dess firemaiden04's Avatar
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    Default Re: pregnant and freaking out

    Quote Originally Posted by JayATee View Post
    Throughout your entire post you have reitterated over and over again how much you don't want a child. Even if that were not the case, it is incredibly apparent in everything else you've said. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT. Do not commit yourself to something you know you don't want to be a part of in any way shape or form. Adoption means you still have to carry this child. It will still take the same emotional and physical toll. You know how you felt. You know how ok you were with the decision. Others can have their opinion, its YOUR body and YOUR decision. My advice is to not let others influence the way you know you feel. Sure, life doesn't always go to plan but theres a time and a place for everything.
    This x 1000.

    It's okay to not want to have a kid. I had an abortion at 20 and I've never once regretted it. And it really does sound like your mother has effectively guilt-tripped you into agreeing to keep a child you don't want. This will have major, major effects on your relationship with your mother, your pregnancy, and any future pregnancies if you let her call the shots. You should be having an abortion or keeping the child because YOU want to, not because someone else has convinced you to.

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    Default Re: pregnant and freaking out

    It never fails that people have to attack others for their opinion. I am allowed to state my experience...in hopes she can take something from it. If she can't, then thats fine with me. I hope she gets the help shes looking for and makes the best decision for her. Its none of your right however to pass judgement on my advice and experience.....seeing none of you I was talking to. I could take my time and pick apart every ridiculous comment you made in response to mine....but I however have a life and much better things to do with my time.

    OP. If I offended you in any way I apologize. As a 26 year old, married mother of 3 beautiful children...I was trying my best to be honest with you and share some of my experience with you. I am NOT you. And I am sure what ever decision you make will be the right one. I just wanted to shed some light on some experience from a woman who wanted to have an abortion....but chose to keep the baby.

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  33. #20
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    Default Re: pregnant and freaking out

    I respect your choice, that's part of what being pro-choice is all about. If you are ready to be a parent, then be one. If you are not, no matter for what reason, then have the abortion and know it was the right thing to do.

    XOXO
    Z

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  35. #21
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    Default Re: pregnant and freaking out

    I had a cousin who was in a similar situation and chose adoption. But she chose adoption without speaking to the father of the child. I guess she just put unknown(father) and chose to give her up. Thing was that the father found out about it and changed his mind and wanted the baby back. He had to go through court to do it. You should speak with the father. This baby is his too and you are the mother. Giving up a human being that spend 9 months inside you and after God knows how many hours of labor isn't easy. And, like my cousin, should the father or you choose to raise the child there is a matter of child support(which my cousin had to pay). Anyway all I'm saying is speak to the father of your kid to make sure you're all on the same page. Anyway sorry for the long post

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    Default Re: pregnant and freaking out

    I think you've been given great advice and I'll state that it's cases like yours where I become strongly about being pro choice. I get so irritated when women here use it as birth control and it makes me question my stance until I hear of birth control failing which to me is acceptable to get an abortion.

    Personally, I'd look past the issues of stripping and body and instead the bigger issues like will the boyfriend stay and will he be a devoted dad? I know in the past these issues were big to me (and why I haven't had kids). The body though can recover. I knew a dancer who had 4 kids and her body was amazing. Sure, you might have to work harder to maintain it, but that will happen as you age anyway.

    However, only you know if it's a good choice. You need to know in your gut what is the right choice for you, the dad and the fetus. I know in my case I would keep it but I am 40 and you are 24.

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    Default Re: pregnant and freaking out

    Am I understanding that you used plan B and it did not work?

    Would that tend to cause problems if you carried to term? I don't know much about it but I would want to give a child the best chance in life and I would be somewhat worried about that exposure.

    I just think life is hard enough and perhaps if you want a child you might want to go ahead and terminate for safety reasons and then plan a pregnancy when things are more appropriate to proceed. You are still very young.

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  40. #24
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    Default Re: pregnant and freaking out

    Quote Originally Posted by JayATee View Post
    How YOU feel is irrelevant here. So are your personal feelings towards every one of her points about why she doesn't want to do this. It's her decision, her body, her life. Not yours. The fact that you think none of her "reasons" have merit is irrelevant as well. She doesn't have to justify anything to anyone. She needs to do what's right for her.
    The points I made were in direct opposition to amorescudero's post, not necessarily the OP's (hence my quoting amorescudero's post).

    Ah I see we got one of sw's resident pro abortionists immediately thanking/ agreeing with ur post putting my pro life ass in it's place

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    Default Re: pregnant and freaking out

    I feel like I'm not contributing much, but I hope adding my voice will help you: it's your choice.

    Other people (who I agree with) have pointed out that your mother seems to have influenced your judgment. Don't let that happen. Whether you continue this pregnancy or not, it has to be up to you.

    If I were you, I would get an abortion, but I say that coming from my own experiences. I have four younger siblings that I raised, and I have to say, if you do not feel ready for a child, don't do it. I love my siblings and I love the adopted children I know, but let me just say this: there won't be a medal for you if you carry this pregnancy to term. There also won't be a medal if you abort it. Ultimately, you are the only person who has to live with your choices, so make the choice that seems best to you.

    I wish you the best and support whatever you end up choosing. I know this is corny, but I am going to radiate positive energy at you anyway. No matter what you choose I am sure you are strong enough to handle it with grace, and there is no wrong choice here, just ones that might be harder than others and some that might be easier. Whatever happens, take care of yourself.

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