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Thread: When love and money don't mix

  1. #1
    Senior Member Candy Girl's Avatar
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    Default When love and money don't mix

    http://kissingup.wordpress.com/category/finance/

    "The pathology comes in when it’s your money, but you have no choice in the matter. You bankroll it and have no say. Over where to live, what’s for dinner, the schools your kids go to, who picks the kids up, where to vacation, whose family to spend the holiday with, when to have sex. That is, as we say on the streets of NYC, some pimp “s***.” You’re still cooking, cleaning, raising kids, sexing him, making sure the bills are getting paid and he’s bossing you."
    Smoke good, eat good. Drink and f*** good. Comin' to the club, stuntin' how you should. My s*** on fire I don't need no gasolina. I'm comin through the block with the new two seater. Cash rules everything around me -- C.R.E.A.M. -- get the money! Dollar dollar bill, y'all!!! FREEZE!!! You know who it is!!! It's me *****es!!! Showtime!!! -Swizz Beats

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    Banned Melonie's Avatar
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    Default Re: When love and money don't mix

    I suppose that this is a legitimate 'personal finance' discussion !

    In the way of a personal comment, all I can say is that these sort of situations can only develop if the girl ALLOWS them to develop. Long time DD readers will know that I went through a somewhat similar situation myself before I ever started dancing. Being young and naive, I thought that I was in love with a 'guitar hero' ... and married him. I soon found out that my assigned 'new role in life' was to hand over my weekly paycheck and keep house, while HIS role in life was to spend money on guitars and amplifiers, sit around writing songs and playing music day after day, in hopes that someday his 'superstar' talents would garner some serious attention and income ! A few years, a child, and a slew of debts later, it was only my ability to start earning serious money as an exotic dancer that allowed me to 'rectify' this mistake via a divorce.

    So while this experience may have left me with a 'less than objective' opinion, I'll voice it anyhow. IMHO no 'sane' woman should willingly accept the role of 'junior partner' in a relationship ... economically or otherwise !!! Furthermore, no 'sane' woman should willingly relinquish control over every single dollar of her assets / income. In a reversed role situation i.e. 'rich' guy and hot but 'poor' girl, pre-nuptual agreements are as common as marriage licenses. In the final analysis, money equals freedom ... or in the case of the girls in the news snippet, no money equals no freedom. There are thousands of anecdotes where women know that they should leave a 'bad relationship' for their own sake or for the sake of their children, but they cannot do so because they don't have independent control of enough money to allow them to do so without major hardships.

    In other threads we often discuss an 'emergency fund' ... which consists of 3-6 months worth of typical dancing earnings sitting in a readily accessible bank account or short term CD's ... as part of a dancer's basic financial plan. IMHO any dancer who is considering entering into a relationship ... and especially so when she will be the primary earner in that relationship ... should maintain exclusive control of that 'emergency fund' and not 'touch' those funds for family expenses !!! Obviously some would say that doing this brings into question the 'commitment' level of the dancer to the relationship. Others, including myself, would say that if it's OK for 'rich' guys to do it, it should also be OK for hard working dancers to do it.

    ~
    Last edited by Melonie; 08-21-2011 at 06:00 AM.

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    Default Re: When love and money don't mix

    Agreed with Melonie. One of the reasons as of yet I'm not married is because I refuse to give up control of my money to a man. My money is mine, period and the only reason I would support a husband is if he's a stay at home dad. However, if he's staying at home I expect a clean house and a home cooked meal. I want a marriage where we both work and we both cook, clean and take care of kids. Otherwise I see no reason I would marry.

    I'd like to know why in the hell women work then come home and do all the cooking and cleaning. I've seen this case often and don't get it. I'm talking both women who work like their husbands and women that sometimes are the only breadwinner. My exbestfriend is the only one working and her husband stays at home. He does no cooking or cleaning and when she comes home she cooks. She gives her money to her husband and their trailer is in his name because "men are the leaders". We aren't speaking because she had the audacity to tell me I shouldn't have been paid the same as my male coworkers because they are men.

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