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    Default Meeting a Customer outside?

    Yes, I get it, no girls would do it, no girls would think about it, and no girls would
    even dream about doing it with me. In fact the very thought Im sure makes most women cringe.

    I understand.

    But with all the strippers, in all the strip clubs in the world, operating till the wee hours of the morning, I'm sure it's happened at least once or twice in the history of the world.

    My question is, what could make that happen?

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    Default Re: Meeting a Customer outside?

    I once knew a woman who was a former stripper (I met her OTC) and she told me that her husband was a former customer, and that was how the two of them met. I've heard more than one stripper tell such a story. So yes it happens. The trouble for chumps like us is that 99.999999999 percent of the time, when a stripper in the club agrees to give you her phone number or whatever, it's going to be part of the hustle. So there's just no way for us to differentiate between the hustle and the very rare occurrence that it might be the real thing. If the hustle is good enough it will SEEM like the real thing.

    I once had a stripper try to get me to buy into the whole idea that she wanted to meet me OTC. I got a bad vibe about it so I didn't go through with it. She had been such a good hustler in the club, I figured that the innocent meeting that she wanted OTC would turn into a very expensive meeting for my wallet. Is it possible that this was the one in a million occurrence of a stripper actually digging a customer? Sure. But like I said, the chances were so in favor of it being a hustle that I didn't go through with it.

    The best place for guys to meet strippers socially is probably in real life, so that we aren't customers, but just regular guys.

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    Default Re: Meeting a Customer outside?

    Quote Originally Posted by skwadim View Post
    Yes, I get it, no girls would do it, no girls would think about it, and no girls would
    even dream about doing it with me. In fact the very thought Im sure makes most women cringe.

    I understand.

    But with all the strippers, in all the strip clubs in the world, operating till the wee hours of the morning, I'm sure it's happened at least once or twice in the history of the world.

    My question is, what could make that happen?
    yes it can happen. example: me.

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    Default Re: Meeting a Customer outside?

    Money.

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    Default Re: Meeting a Customer outside?

    Money.
    I meant any reason besides that, that one's obvious.

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    Default Re: Meeting a Customer outside?

    "There've been cases where women have just so happened to meet customers they've clicked with/wanted to date."

    right, but Im guessing some other factors might have had to play, slow night, maybe the girl wasn't fully in "get money mode" that particular day, stuff like that.

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    Default Re: Meeting a Customer outside?

    Quote Originally Posted by skwadim View Post
    "There've been cases where women have just so happened to meet customers they've clicked with/wanted to date."

    right, but Im guessing some other factors might have had to play, slow night, maybe the girl wasn't fully in "get money mode" that particular day, stuff like that.
    I mean, I think the real question on this thread is not IF this ever happens, but HOW guys can differentiate between the hustle and the very rare occasion where a stripper actually starts to "like" a guy. My view is that making this determination is nearly impossible.

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    Default Re: Meeting a Customer outside?

    Quote Originally Posted by skwadim View Post
    Yes, I get it, no girls would do it, no girls would think about it, and no girls would
    even dream about doing it with me. In fact the very thought Im sure makes most women cringe.
    Don't be so dramatic. I've been seeing dancers OTC for years. Sometimes there was money involved for sex, sometimes it was just a friendship thing and sometimes it's civilian dating.

    What can make it happen? Nothing because you can't "make" it happen. I'm just a normal guy who spends in the club and doesn't act creepy. I'm certainly not a great catch in the looks department and I'm not rich. I'm just not a dickhead. Now, it needs to be noted that I'm 53 and the dancers I am interested in are all in at least their mid 30's. Older women are not necessarily looking for the same things in a friendship or a dating partner as the 20-somethings that you may be lusting after.

    It's been said all over this board for years. If you walk into a strip club looking to "date a stripper" you are going to be SOL most of the time. On the other hand, if you go into a strip club, spend some money and act like a gentleman you, may end up dating a woman who happens to be a dancer.
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    Default Re: Meeting a Customer outside?

    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    Don't be so dramatic. I've been seeing dancers OTC for years. Sometimes there was money involved for sex, sometimes it was just a friendship thing and sometimes it's civilian dating.
    I agree with yoda. I've done the same thing with the exception of P4P. One girl thinking she was going to get me to drop big bucks on her without first discussing it was disappointed, and with maybe an exception or two, I was never an active customer to any of the girls I spent time with away from the club. When its an active customer and a dancer, money is likely to be the driving factor, if not paying her for the time, at least securing her claim to you (actually your wallet) in the club. When that's not the case, it could just be a matter of the two of you hitting it off. FTR, these were all girls I'd known for months or even years and it was never something that was planned either. It seemed to happen quite unintentionally.
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    Default Re: Meeting a Customer outside?

    There's nothing you can do to "make" it happen. It either will or it won't. Each dancer who meets customers OTC has her own reasons. They usually have very little to do with some special way of acting or when you get there. Just act like a gentleman, and don't get pissed if you ask a dancer, she says yes just to keep her hustle going, and then she doesn't meet you. Just take it in stride if you plan to blatantly go for it this way. It happens. I met my bf at the club. But there was nothing about his "game" that made me want to see him OTC. He was just a loyal customer who acted like a gentleman and my reasons for meeting him are probably different from most reasons that other dancers meet guys out of the club. Don't think too hard about it... Just go to enjoy yourself.

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    Default Re: Meeting a Customer outside?

    "He was just a loyal customer who acted like a gentleman and my reasons for meeting him are probably different from most reasons that other dancers meet guys out of the club."


    loyal meaning he spent money on you? I've heard that just makes the dancer want to meet you for more money, as in why would she jeopardize a source of income?

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    Default Re: Meeting a Customer outside?

    Quote Originally Posted by Aurora_Sunset View Post
    He was just a loyal customer who acted like a gentleman and my reasons for meeting him are probably different from most reasons that other dancers meet guys out of the club. Don't think too hard about it... Just go to enjoy yourself.
    Several responses have pointed out that the men should act like gentlemen, but isn't that next to impossible in a "high-contact" or even "medium-contact" club, where dances will often involve grinding and, well, something will suddenly come up? I mean, after a girl has been rubbing up against a guy with a boner for three 20-dollar songs in a row, is she really still going to think of him as a gentleman, even if he's not grabby at all?

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    Default Re: Meeting a Customer outside?

    Quote Originally Posted by skwadim View Post
    loyal meaning he spent money on you? I've heard that just makes the dancer want to meet you for more money, as in why would she jeopardize a source of income?
    Who have you heard this from? Guys who sit at the bar telling dancers that they "don't do dances" but would love to go out to dinner with them?

    Now, clearly, a dancer comes to work to earn a living so yes, if you spend money on her she is going to want you to spend more. If she is interested in more than that you will know.

    Quote Originally Posted by KeithDoxen View Post
    I mean, after a girl has been rubbing up against a guy with a boner for three 20-dollar songs in a row, is she really still going to think of him as a gentleman, even if he's not grabby at all?
    Sometimes...

    Not assuming that it's ok to just grab a woman, not talking to her like she's a piece of meat and, lol, buying three dances instead of just one can leave an impression. Is it going to get you a date OTC? No, not in and of itself.

    There are arguments both pro and con for everything you guys mentioned. The point is that, as previously stated, there is no system or method and there is no one thing you can do or not do. It either happens or it doesn't.
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    Default Re: Meeting a Customer outside?

    Quote Originally Posted by KeithDoxen View Post
    Several responses have pointed out that the men should act like gentlemen, but isn't that next to impossible in a "high-contact" or even "medium-contact" club, where dances will often involve grinding and, well, something will suddenly come up? I mean, after a girl has been rubbing up against a guy with a boner for three 20-dollar songs in a row, is she really still going to think of him as a gentleman, even if he's not grabby at all?
    I work in high-contact clubs, so my opinion might be different from the other ladies, but just because a guy pops a boner doesn't mean he's not a "gentleman". To me, that is just expected. I also don't mind touching, and I generally encourage it if the guy seems shy.
    Here are some things that creeps/non-"gentlemen" may do: Try to lick/suck my nipples. Play with my nipples in general. Squeeze my boobs HARD (seriously why do guys do this?). Try to move my thong. Try to touch my pussy. Try to kiss me. Try to control the dance. Doesn't tip.

    I know what the guy is there for and generally speaking boners and touching are par for the course. This doesn't bother me, if it did I wouldn't be there. If you are polite and respect my boundaries then I will probably think of you positively and enjoy myself.

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    Default Re: Meeting a Customer outside?

    Quote Originally Posted by KeithDoxen View Post
    Several responses have pointed out that the men should act like gentlemen, but isn't that next to impossible in a "high-contact" or even "medium-contact" club, where dances will often involve grinding and, well, something will suddenly come up? I mean, after a girl has been rubbing up against a guy with a boner for three 20-dollar songs in a row, is she really still going to think of him as a gentleman, even if he's not grabby at all?
    Absolutely. If I didn't expect the guys in the SC to buy dances and enjoy themselves, I wouldn't be there. If a guy is not grabby, doesn't bite/lick, doesn't try to solicit me, and doesn't ask stupid questions (like what my real name is), then yes, I consider him a gentleman despite his boner or his spending money on me. Those things are expected. A guy who comes into a SC but doesn't buy dances because he wants to look "respectable" is hardly my definition of a gentleman because he is blatantly disregarding the point of the club and the work that I'm there to do to make money. And I hardly think that every guy who steps into a strip club is automatically not a gentleman. So, naturally, the definition of a "gentleman" takes on it's own meaning in a SC setting. A boner while grinding (which is my job) is not rude IMO. Yes, I really will still think of a guy as a gentleman if he is not grabby during his dances, despite anything that "pops up" lol

    ETA: Of course, with the dances and the grinding being involved, I will automatcially be suspicious of any guy that wants to meet OTC who insists "No, really, I just want to be friends!" It's hard to believe that someone isn't just thinking of fucking you and really care about you as a person on any level when you just spent all night being paid to grind their cock. That doesn't mean you can't still be a gentleman and leave a good impression. Be a gentleman, and then don't be pushy about meeting OTC, because that goes against what I consider good manners and "gentlemanly" in the club. A guy may not be able to quickly convince that he "really" likes me for my sparkling personality after I just spent 20 minutes grinding his junk, but that doesn't mean he can't leave a good impression of being a gentleman who respects the dancers.
    Last edited by Aurora_Sunset; 08-25-2011 at 08:58 PM.

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    Default Re: Meeting a Customer outside?

    Quote Originally Posted by skwadim View Post
    "He was just a loyal customer who acted like a gentleman and my reasons for meeting him are probably different from most reasons that other dancers meet guys out of the club."


    loyal meaning he spent money on you? I've heard that just makes the dancer want to meet you for more money, as in why would she jeopardize a source of income?
    If you want to know the whole true story - yes, it was under the premise of eventually getting more money out of him. I figured, if I went into his job (bartending at a restaurant), and built a good rapport and left him a good tip, that would make him more inclined to come see me more. I wouldn't have implemented this "plan," however, if I wasn't able to do it in a public place, where I could bring a friend, and he hadn't already proved himself to understand how the SC works. He didn't ask me to meet him - that was my decision, based on the things I just said. If he had been grabby, flighty with his decisions on who to spend - like, witholding money because I said I wouldn't meet him OTC (have had many customers do that) - or been a grabby asshole during dances, I would not have bothered. No matter how much someone spends, I don't want to encourage that behavior. When we finally hung out OTC, I was insanely impressed by the fact that he still acted like a gentleman - he didn't treat me like a "stripper" - he treated me like a lady. Like just a regular girl he would meet and talk with anywhere else. And didn't try to "get with" me. It impressed me so much, I decided to pursue seeing him in more private settings.

    So yes, I met him "for money." You can't really expect more out of a dancer. Because you're right - why would she want to jeopardize her income from you by setting up a precedent of hanging out without you spending money on her? This, of course, is a very personal and unique story. I wouldn't go to the club and try to recreate this scenario, hoping it will work lol It's just how it played out - which brings me back to my main point - if it happens, it will just happen. In my case, I went to him, looking to increase my income, and things just fell into place and we're both now very happy together. I don't think my original reason for meeting him makes our relationship any "less" than it is now. But I wouldn't say it's common that a dancer will meet you for money and end up crossing the personal line - or that she will meet you without the promise of money. The best you can do is respect a dancer's time, respect her boundaries during dances, and don't be pushy about the subject of meeting OTC. If she wants to, she will. And things just go as they will from there. Like I said, there's no magic formula. This is true of any scenario in life that involves interaction between people. You can't plan it out and "make" it happen. I think a good rule of thumb for any area of meeting with people is just "don't be an ass." And how that works out in different scenarios is just how it works out. Pretty simple, really.

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    Default Re: Meeting a Customer outside?

    ^^^ Most of the girls I did dances with were more troubled by the lack of a boner than an actual boner, especially since we're talking the very high contact dances of the area..
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    Default Re: Meeting a Customer outside?

    I've met customers OTC for two reasons: Money and dating. In the money case these were all situations where they wanted to hire me for a bachelor party or some other type of party like that. A couple guys hired me to model. Other guys hired me for events or to accompany tem to events. In these cases there was no sex whatsoever. Not even kissing. In the dating situation this happened ONCE. I have posted repeated posts on this but it was a situation where a regular became a friend, he fell in love, we lost touch for 10 years, reconnected, dating, then he broke my heart. There was never money exchanged at all, though he did buy me gifts and paid for most our dates. We never had sex either (though I wish we had because I loved him). These are the only times I was in contact with a customer OTC.

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    Default Re: Meeting a Customer outside?

    "It's hard to believe that someone isn't just thinking of fucking you and really care about you as a person on any level when you just spent all night being paid to grind their cock."

    Right, I agree there, I just think there's an in-between the two extremes of "I want to just fuck you" and "I really want to get to know you as a person" As in, I think you're very attractive, and fucking you is definitely the primary objective, but that doesn't mean I don't see you as a human being with experiences, a life, goals, dreams, what-have-you.

    I also think you're right in the sense of being a gentleman in a general sense vs being a "gentleman" in the strip club sense, as in respecting the rules of the establishment, the protocols, etc...

    As for not "making" it happen, sure heck we can't even make simpler things happen, but there are things one can do to make it *more* likely vs *less* likely.

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    Default Re: Meeting a Customer outside?

    Quote Originally Posted by skwadim View Post
    "It's hard to believe that someone isn't just thinking of fucking you and really care about you as a person on any level when you just spent all night being paid to grind their cock."
    LOL. Well, I mean those things aren't mutually exclusive. If I've been hanging out with a dancer at the club three or four times, for an hour or two each time, and we've been chatting and getting to know each other AND I've been buying a lot of dances, I probably both like her as a person and am sexually attracted to her and aroused by her physically and by her dances. So I don't think it's an "either/or" type of situation. But sure, if you've just met a guy, the only words exchanged between the two of you were "wanna dance?" and then you've spent 20 minutes grinding, then yeah, at that point the guy is only interested in your sexuality.

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    Default Re: Meeting a Customer outside?

    Yes, you're right. There is a middle ground between "I just want to get into your pants" and "I just want to be friends" - it's just very difficult to weed out who's being genuine about liking me for more than just my body in the SC setting. So the only way I think to make it more likely that a dancer would see you as potential for OTC meetings is to behave yourself and don't push to meet OTC. I know, I know, "if you don't ask, how will you know?" But in this case, I was always automatically turned off by guys who asked to see me outside the club. It just instantly sets off my bullshit radar. And in all cases so far, I've been right. All these guys immediately stopped spending money on me at the club to "teach me a lesson" that I wasn't getting their money unless I saw them in my free time - which is not a man I want to be friends with or date. The only guys I've ever even considered seeing OTC were guys who didn't ask... I know that doesn't leave you with a whole lot you can do... except act decently.

    Also, loyalty, I think is a big thing. I don't get offended when a guy buys dances from other girls, but if you buy from just the dancer you really like, I think it shows that you might have more interest in her as more than just the next piece of ass that grinds on you. There was a guy who came in all the time and would buy dances from every girl there - often spending more on some other girl than me. And then he would get confused/offended when I wouldn't believe that he was genuine in liking me as a person and wanting to hang out OTC because he thought I was special. So, if you really like a girl, I think you will help your chances of her wanting to see you OTC if you are loyal regular to her. It will send more of a message that she's special for other reasons than being hot. If you get dances from everyone, she's more inclined to believe that you're just after whatever hot piece of ass you can get. But, again, this isn't a sure-fire way - it's just something that may help. It may work, it may not. Just don't be upset if it doesn't cuz it's all hit or miss. I could give you all the things in the world that might make it *more likely* rather than *less likely* but all dancers are different so it all just depends... My biggest suggestions are, again: act like a gentleman, don't be pushy about meeting OTC, be loyal, don't expect anything more than a nice dancer who's company you enjoy the club. Best of luck!

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    Default Re: Meeting a Customer outside?

    Quote Originally Posted by KeithDoxen View Post
    But sure, if you've just met a guy, the only words exchanged between the two of you were "wanna dance?" and then you've spent 20 minutes grinding, then yeah, at that point the guy is only interested in your sexuality.
    Yes, and unfortunately, most guys jump the gun and ask right off the bat when we've only been talking for 20 minutes Most guys who are reeeeally interested in "seeing strippers OTC" can't seem to exercise the patience to make it happen slowly by building good rapport. So, avoid this BIG mistake and it just might work out better for you.

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    Default Re: Meeting a Customer outside?

    All these guys immediately stopped spending money on me at the club to "teach me a lesson" that I wasn't getting their money unless I saw them in my free time - which is not a man I want to be friends with or date.
    Hmm, this is kind of interesting actually, almost like the waitress that gets mad at her guy friend for not tipping heavily when they go out to eat.

    Most guys who are reeeeally interested in "seeing strippers OTC" can't seem to exercise the patience to make it happen slowly by building good rapport.
    Fair, but sometimes you're visiting a different town and just there for one night or two.

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    Default Re: Meeting a Customer outside?

    Quote Originally Posted by skwadim View Post
    Fair, but sometimes you're visiting a different town and just there for one night or two.
    Well then just cut to the chase and either offer them money to spend time with you or hire an escort...

    Again, what "works" is either patience and a bit of luck...or blatant honesty. If you are in town visiting and looking for a hook-up just cut to the chase and make an offer. You may get turned down but you may not. Visiting the club and hoping for a one night stand is really not the way to go.
    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
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    Default Re: Meeting a Customer outside?

    Quote Originally Posted by skwadim View Post
    Fair, but sometimes you're visiting a different town and just there for one night or two.
    You're making AS's point for her. The fact that you have a limited window of opportunity to build rapport is not her problem and not a reason for her to trust you sooner than she is ready to.
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