so i'm going to tell the op to ignore everything workerbee just posted and just report her for being a dick instead of actually saying anything.





so i'm going to tell the op to ignore everything workerbee just posted and just report her for being a dick instead of actually saying anything.




I worked with a chick in Vegas who was over six feet and GORGEOUS. What she did (and was allowed to by management) was wear flat sneakers with leg warmers that covered them so unless you were looking really closely (a little obvious on stage but fuck'em) she was the same height as everyone else. Anyway, if you can buy your way off stage and it's financially feasible to do that, that problem's solved.
Also, when someone asks if you're trans, what's your response?
I mean, obviously you don't want to deny over the top, but at the same time, just saying no isn't going to really sway people either.
I would say something like, "yeah, both my parents are over six feet. I'm actually the short one in the family," with a little laugh.
Unless you're manly or haven't taken care of the adam's apple, I would say this puts in their mind that the WOMEN in your family are tall too, which is a lot better than just saying, "no, I'm a girl."
Plus, put some spin on that for the bitches out there:
"No, I'm a girrrrrrl, all the women in my family are this tall. Don't you think I get that all the time? How would YOU like it if someone started asking if you were a man just because your nose is as big as it is? Back up a step and be CONSIDERATE of the people around you. geez..." and then start ignoring them and go back to putting your makeup on while muttering under your breath about hateful people.




Actually, I don't think WorkerBee was being hateful at all--
I don't think being pre-op or post-op is the issue. But if you do have manly characteristics, or throw off a manly vibe, then yeah-- you're not passing. But then again-- it COULD be that the dancer who said this was actually just being hateful. There was a high earner who, honestly, did look a little manly in the face, but she genuinely was a woman. She got that "she's a man" from both men AND women, and that bitch STILL outearned most of the chicks in there most nights of the week AND she was a clean dancer.
The problem is-- it's true. There's bad people out there. I'd be less worried if you're post-op than if you're pre-op. And I don't know what London's homophobic climate is. It was only like maybe ten years ago that Matthew Shepherd got slaughtered for being gay without tricking guys into thinking he was a hot female in Wyoming.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Matthew_Shepard
However, these thoughts have no doubt gone through your head, and it's something you've no doubt had to live with every day of your life since deciding to live true to what you were feeling inside rather than how you looked to others on the outside.
Just like women can be raped and murdered and not be a stripper, so can a transgendered person be really hurt out in the "civilian" world. I personally think that my chances of being raped and murdered or targeted for theft actually goes up being a stripper, but because I'm more AWARE than a lot of women, and take the daily threat of that very seriously, my chances of being raped are (hopefully) a lot less than other women. But there's always the element of chance.
So, there's several variables here in play, but I don't think that necessarily means you need to quit the strip club game.
If you decide for the moment that strip clubs aren't for you, have you considered web camming since you wouldn't have to worry about hateful bitches, and it'd be a lot safer?




This is where you need to come up with several good comebacks. "No" and a bitchy look isn't going to cut it.
I'd try, "Ask your mom. She was all up in my pussy last night."
But then again, I will bust a fucker's face in before I let them harm me, so you also need to put off an aura that You.Do.Not.Play.That.Game.


The person who is being a dick would be the stripper who tells the man that just paid the OP for a dance that she used to be a man...and proceeds to stomp her brains in.
I'm not being funny or sarcastic or a dick.
It MAY be different over the Atlantic but in my city the OP would get fucked up immediately. Matter of fact, if this was even suspected a stripper would be fired because of the known fact that violence would occur once this rumor spreads.
If this is not an establishment that caters to those who desire transwomen and the OP can not pass without suspicion then she is putting herself in real danger.

Pinkie Pie, I need to agree with the sentiment about WorkerBee not necessarily being mean. You did your business 5 years back and have been living normally since, but what's 5 years? Consider this: prior to transition and surgery, you spent a whole lifetime (d/k how old your are) getting socialized to a whole different role from the one you're in now. That's not going to turn around or disappear overnight. A few hours in the OR doesn't undo decades of being raised and treated and expected to behave like a member of the opposite gender. The only things that will accomplish that are getting rid of whatever signal it is that's alerting these creeps to your difference, and letting time work its magic as you go about a normal life. Can you meet and date guys and not have them notice anything different about you? Then you're well on the way. But seriously, the effects of a lifetime of role-playing on the other side of the fence aren't going to disappear quickly.
Have you read Gavin de Becker's book “The Gift of Fear”? If not, please do. If you're afraid of these guys who are making comments like that, it's your instincts trying to warn you of serious danger of the type that WorkerBee mentioned. Google TDOR if you need examples.




how ridiculously condescending! Trans people spend WAY MORE TIME than you probably even consider learning to resocialise themselves. Changing their lives so they can pass as the gender that they really are instead of the one that they were born into. They live for years as a member of the opposite sex before their surgery. They understand, probably more than a person who was born into the 'right' gender, way more about "being a woman" than most women do. Because they HAVE to learn it.
obviously getting a surgery isn't going to change any of the things that you posted. Realistically though, surgery is one of the "lesser" things that happens in a transition though (at least that is my belief). The biggest things being the changes that the person goes through in order to pass as a member of the opposite sex like changing their wardrobe, changing their voice, learning makeup, learning mannerisms... all the things that they have to do to be able to walk down the street and not get "misgendered" while going about their everyday life... Things that they have to focus on all the time to remember. Have you ever quit smoking or quit biting your nails? You know how you think about it all the time? Imagine if you were trying to remember to change your voice every second of the day, or trying to walk like a dude every time you stood up. In order to pass for five years, the OP has managed to think about that, and other things similar to that, all day, every day.
obviously the OP was doing well enough before a bunch of uppity strippers got on her case. This shit happens to women who are born WOMEN and are tall / manly looking so I think its fair to assume that it isn't necessarily actually her doing or not doing a certain thing.
Ok, I spent ages trying to work out how to reply to individual people but it was hard so I'm mostly going to do a general reply.
I'm almost certain that club management is aware that my gender has been questioned. It's a small club so it's hard to go unnoticed and a couple of these times happened at the bar where the bargirls/house mums would easily have picked up on it. Yet despite that, all the club staff treat me well and if I was going to be fired for it, I'm sure it would have happened by now. So there's that, and the level of safety ITC is solid as well so in those terms I feel secure with where I'm at right now.
I've thought up a comeback for if guys ask me, and I've been told it makes sense so I'm gonna try it next time it happens. Since I started I've had the attitude of 'keep your head down, don't cause drama, don't draw attention to stuff' so that's why I haven't made a big deal out of any of the previous times it happened.
Raelee, actually 5 years is a long time, especially when you consider that that is my entire adult life and I didn't really act in a manly way before then. All the 'little subconscious tells' were dealt with years ago and in fact picking up female mannerisms was one of the most natural things in the world. I think it's far more likely that people find my height weird than I've actually been acting like a dude in some way these last 5 years.




I agree that someone could be upset if they found out you were a man, but unless they had real evidence I doubt anyone would proceed to try and beat the fuck out of you. Does your club have good security?
Consider pepper spray for your safety. Even non-trans dancers carry it.
If you have had gender reassignment surgery, hormone therapy, adam's apple shaved, and other alterations of your body it will be somewhat difficult for someone to actually prove for 100% fact that you were once a man. I doubt a customer will try to fight you on suspicion that you once were a man.
Don't admit you are trans to ANYONE, even if you work there for 10 years and become friends with everyone/meet their kids/rent a room with a dancer. Keep it a secret, for your own well being and money making purposes.
Wear short heels, 3-4'' tops, and behave even more feminine than you would in public. Lay on that sugar thick when you talk to guys, act like the sweet, girl next door.
As far as tall goes, research the looks of some of the "America's Next Top Model" girls. Try to see what looks work for them... i.e. hair, shoes, bikinis and emulate them. They are very tall and still look hella sexy.
That is the best advice I can offer. If you feel like too many people are focusing on you being trans/the possibility of you being trans you should switch clubs. The harassment and the chance of a customer getting upset about your gender transformation is not worth it.
If you are willing to do for one year what other's won't, you can spend a lifetime doing what other's cant.

Pinkie Pie, thanks for the response. If basically your whole adult life has been post-transition then you are way ahead of most trans-women. Kudos to you for getting that stuff out of the way early instead of much later in life - you will blend in /way/ better. Did not mean to disrespect the effort and commitment you've put into making positive, serious changes in your life, sorry.
Sounds like club management likes you regardless of what the customers do/say, and that's a very good sign.
I'm hoping you post regularly here .. I'm ultra-tall too and would love to hear how things work out since I'll probably get the same flak from the customers. *grumble* can't hide height.
Here's an older thread about dancer height .. and note that nearly 2% of the girls clocked in at 6'1" or taller:
hugs![]()




some people literally do not realise that they are trans until way later in life. I don't really want to turn this into a trans debate / education / dump on you thread but you seriously have no idea what you're talking about and continue to come across sounding really condescending. Please do a bit of research on trans issues before you say things like "good for you for getting it out of the way early" and "you're way ahead of most trans-women".
everyones' transition is different and some people are never even given the opportunity to embrace the fact that they are trans. I know that it may seem like you're being trans-positive but this is a really politically and personally charged issue that I really don't think you understand. And seriously, I'm not being rude in saying this... just honest.



I'm fairly tall (5'9), and I've had coments like that. The funny thing is I had children at that point and in no way did I look manly. Girls that pull that card are so insicure in their own bodies/looks that they have to find something to say to make themselves feel/look better to a prospective client.
Just laugh it off. I'm sure that you have heard the tale of no such thing as bad publicity, go with it. Like others have said never admit to it, even if the person thinks you were and they are into it. I've worked with transgendered, and they wouldn't admit to it if their life depended on it. Also, that was good advice from above, always carry fresh tampons and scissors for the string. Diaper wipes for moisture issues, fds spray, things of that nature; and lend them to girls when you hear someone say they need one.
Pick a spot in the luner scycle to be your rag time, for instance always 2 days before the full moon; and be a cunt one day of the mounth.
Stretch your arm muscles out to enlongate them so they don't bunch up, and forget about your issue. We all face our insicurities of being a woman in this industry. It could be small boobs, nails, cellulite, stretch marks, heavy sweat, whatever it is; we all face it and have to get over it to make our money.
I really think you are your biggest enemy in dancing. Get overyourself, create your stage persona and have fun. Being the new girl wears off in about 2 weeks, so their(other dancers) attention will drift elsewear when another new girl walks in
and they see someone else cutting into "their" money.
susie2, thats great advice but it's not the girls that are the problem anymore. its (just a few of) the custies!
however, ive realised that i need to stop worrying abt if im gonna get asked abt it. from now on im just gonna assume itll happen every time i work an when i do ill just deal with it an move on. that just leaves me with the 'oh nobody's gonna want a dance from me now' negativity after it happens to get over.
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