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Thread: Confusing "Entertainers" with "Objects of Entertainment."

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    Veteran Member Farrah_Golden's Avatar
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    Default Confusing "Entertainers" with "Objects of Entertainment."

    Excuse me if this comes off a bit rant-ish...it's not meant to be a rant per say; it's just something I've observed over the past couple of weeks and recognized as something important to address amongst customers and some dancers.

    We are entertainers. Call us what you will; strippers, dancers, whathavenot, our job is to entertain men. However, I've noticed a very unpleasant effect amongst a certain demographic of customers, and that is not treating us as respectable human beings, but as objects which serve no purpose other than to entertain them, if only for a short while. I would like to share with you some of my experiences, as well as those I've gathered from a few dancers while having this discussion.

    Last week, a nice enough looking gentleman approached the stage, tipped me and told me to "come see him" when I was finished with my set. I nodded and was excited, as this usually means I've lined up a successful sale with little to no effort. Keyword: usually. After sitting down and chit chatting for a little bit, he cut to the chase. He says, "can I ask you a question without you being offended?" I saw what was coming a mile away, but nodded and honestly, I wasn't quite prepared for his question. I actually choked on my laughter when he asks, "how much would it cost me to get some lipstick on my dipstick?" not because I appreciate the inquiry of prostitution, but it was somewhat light hearted and humorous. I smiled and told him, "that's not for sale, sweetpea." He gets a shit eating grin on his face and with heavy sarcasm, waves at me and says, "Bye bye! You can go now!".....I thought about sending my hand across his smug fuckin face.

    Similarly, the other night, this jackass waves a wad of what appears to be several thousand dollars in my face but still leads me to believe we'll be spending it on champagne bottles and dances. WRONG! He wants to pay me $5000 to spend a weekend with him. This man became very angry when I told him I am a dancer, not a prostitute; he declares that "I don't make the rules; he makes the fuckin rules" and I walked away, hailing a bouncer as I went.

    That very same night, I watched a group of college students wad up dollar bills and THROW them at the dancers which, in my eyes, could not be more disrespectful. THIS is a prime example of what I'm talking about; they do not treat this beautiful girl with the respect and admiration she deserves but instead, toss single dollar bills in her face like throwing food to an animal at the circus.

    Off stage, we vent a little bit about customers and whatnot; she shares with me that she will not give dances to girls because she had been violated by a girl in the VIP room. Similarly, I have a stigma with (and I hate to say it) Hispanic men, because one crudely grabbed me by my hips, would not let go and forced me to dry hump him until he pulled down his shorts and ejaculated on me. (That was back when I first started dancing; now, I tolerate NO forceful grabbing and will yell for a bouncer if it does happen.)

    I've seen this same effect on celebrities, when we pry into their lives, harrass, vandalize and defame them; we fail to realize these are PEOPLE we're talking about and they exist for more than our own cheap entertainment. Well, the same goes for strippers.
    I bring this up because I feel it's important to remind some women that this is not normal treatment. This behavior is sad, cruel and completely unacceptable; "strippers" are not interchangeable with "prostitutes," and we're damn sure not naked monkeys that will dance around for a single dollar dripping with sarcasm and disrespect.

    Some veteran dancers at my club felt I was overreacting, but you know what? They're only enabling this behavior. Any dancer of any age and any level of experience can be victimized to this degree, and it's no more acceptable if you've been dancing for 10 years vs. 1, seen it all, been there, done that. We can't allow these men to treat us as objects which can be purchased and used.

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  3. #2
    Senior Member missyqueenb's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confusing "Entertainers" with "Objects of Entertainment."

    I think you over reacted. At the end of the day whether we like it or not strippers have a negative stereotype attached to them. The key is to MILK the stereotype and turn it around to OUR benifit, not get mad. Ive been in your exact same situation and instead of getting outraged and not thinking straight i damn straight milked those basterds all their money and at the end of it all they got was a wink and a smile. You cant take things to heart so much because at the end of the day we ARE objects of entertainment because all these men do is OBJECTIFY US and thats how we make are money. I go to work play a part and go home and not take anything personally because the PERSONA i play is not even me so why get mad?
    On Top.

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    Veteran Member Aslinn's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confusing "Entertainers" with "Objects of Entertainment."

    People are something else, people think money buys power in any quantity even if there giving you a damn dollar. Although you may not get propositioned at a normal job you do get that level of disrespect everywhere. Customers think there entitled to the moon when there no better than us or even far below. The only thing you can do is except it or talk shit back. That's why I like dancing, I can atleast defend myself some what without getting fired/written up/ losing hours.

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    Default Re: Confusing "Entertainers" with "Objects of Entertainment."

    it is the responsibility of mgmt to deal with people throwing things at dancers on stage, either by ejecting customers who do this or by making the atmosphere of the club less appealing to younger customers. i am a bit confused as to why your bouncers didn't stop this??

    getting propositioned for sex is rude and distasteful. find what part of your sale is providing a hole for idiots to proposition you, and fix it.

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    Default Re: Confusing "Entertainers" with "Objects of Entertainment."

    I understand that you feel disrespected but I hear way worse every night at work. He even said "please don't be offended".. customer down here get way worse... but the beauty of this job is we can just walk away and ignore those guys.

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    Featured Member Laurisa's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confusing "Entertainers" with "Objects of Entertainment."

    I can agree with most of what you said, but it's the reality of the job!

    Today a drunk guy was hanging his head over the tip rail with some dollars on top of his face. I was standing next to the stage waiting to do showtime when I felt a dollar hit me in the arm. I was sweetly asking which one of his friends threw it, and it turned out to be him, so I crumpled it back up and flicked it right in between his eyes.

    I told him not to throw money at people anymore. You toss money, the goal is not to hit the person with the money. If you want to give someone a tip and they are on stage then you can toss the money onto the stage, and if they are walking near you then you should get up and politely hand it to them. You don't put it in their underwear or bra without asking, it's a dollar.

    At the end of the day it's just part of the job. I typically find satisfaction in throwing their "tip" back in their face--quite literally.
    If you are willing to do for one year what other's won't, you can spend a lifetime doing what other's cant.


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    Moderator Aurora_Sunset's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confusing "Entertainers" with "Objects of Entertainment."

    These guys are jackasses, but unfortunately we deal with them nightly because that's how our job is. I watched a customer throw, not waded up dollar bills, but coins at a dancer one night because he was pissed at her. Yes, men are disrespectful at the SC. It's perfectly within your rights to tell a dumbass customer you're not a prostitute and walk away, or to yell at a customer that grabs and dry humps you, or yell for a bouncer the second someone throws anything at you. I don't think you're over-reacting by getting upset, but beyond these things to try to alleviate the situations immediately, there's not much you can do to stop this line of thought or behavior by men. I always try to remember the good customers or the good things people have said to me about stripping whenenver someone's being a jackass.

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    Veteran Member Aslinn's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confusing "Entertainers" with "Objects of Entertainment."

    Quote Originally Posted by Aurora_Sunset View Post
    These guys are jackasses, but unfortunately we deal with them nightly because that's how our job is. I watched a customer throw, not waded up dollar bills, but coins at a dancer one night because he was pissed at her. Yes, men are disrespectful at the SC. It's perfectly within your rights to tell a dumbass customer you're not a prostitute and walk away, or to yell at a customer that grabs and dry humps you, or yell for a bouncer the second someone throws anything at you. I don't think you're over-reacting by getting upset, but beyond these things to try to alleviate the situations immediately, there's not much you can do to stop this line of thought or behavior by men. I always try to remember the good customers or the good things people have said to me about stripping whenenver someone's being a jackass.
    If a man threw coins at me id jump off stage and slap the shit out of him with a roll of mf quarters.

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    Default Re: Confusing "Entertainers" with "Objects of Entertainment."

    Quote Originally Posted by Aslinn View Post
    If a man threw coins at me id jump off stage and slap the shit out of him with a roll of mf quarters.

    I have had a handful of coins thrown into my face by a bachelor once. I slammed his head into the stage.
    "You're better than no one and no one is better than you."
    -- Bob Dylan

    “There's never going to be a great misunderstanding of me. I think I'm a little whacked.”


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    Default Re: Confusing "Entertainers" with "Objects of Entertainment."

    I've had coins thrown at me too; glad I'm not the only one!

    I think that missyqueenb is half right. It IS something we have to deal with, but you can react however you want. There's no such thing as overreacting if you're feeling uncomfortable or disrespected. Me, I tend to take them for all they're worth, and that's my way of getting back at them. However, I know plenty of girls who responsd with anger, and if that's what makes you feel better, then I think that's fine.

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    Default Re: Confusing "Entertainers" with "Objects of Entertainment."

    Quote Originally Posted by camille27 View Post

    getting propositioned for sex is rude and distasteful. find what part of your sale is providing a hole for idiots to proposition you, and fix it.
    Really? You never get propositioned for sex? How can this be completely fixed 100% of the time? If you're hot and sexy and doing a good job conveying that, the propositions are inevitable.

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    Moderator Optimist's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confusing "Entertainers" with "Objects of Entertainment."

    Yeah, it looks like she didn't have a chance to present any game before he hit her with his dipshit question. I agree with you 100% Farrah_Golden and good management would keep this bullshit to a minimum but good management is hard to find. They need to throw out a lot more people to set the proper tone and send a message to the perv community not to come in the club to shit on the girls anymore. Cater to the better customers and it pays off.
    “What a caterpillar calls the end of the world we call a butterfly.” - ECKHART TOLLE

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    Default Re: Confusing "Entertainers" with "Objects of Entertainment."

    Quote Originally Posted by Optimist View Post
    Yeah, it looks like she didn't have a chance to present any game before he hit her with his dipshit question. I agree with you 100% Farrah_Golden and good management would keep this bullshit to a minimum but good management is hard to find. They need to throw out a lot more people to set the proper tone and send a message to the perv community not to come in the club to shit on the girls anymore. Cater to the better customers and it pays off.
    I agree w/ this. I feel that our management has been to lenient lately w/ bad behaving custies to try & keep the money flowing & what not.

    We are not allowed to get mouthy or "rude" to customers when they are being blatantly rude or dergatory. The bouncers are only allowed to give them warnings -sometimes for serious offenses (wtf). We def are not supposed to hit customers anymore -even when it was after a blatant sexual assault. I understand that they're worried about cops or other shit -but still.

    I feel like my club has given these douches an inch & they've taken a mile. I often wonder if they just cracked back down if it would help. It might hurt business in the short run -but I feel like in the long run that it would help for the level of respect to go back up abit. Because usually the guys that assault the girls or act like complete assholes aren't repeat customers anyways & that's why they act this way -because they know that they can, especially when in a recession.

    I work @ a very nice gentlemen's club -but the behavior of the guys & what the girls are willing to do now to cater to these assholes is getting out of control (especially when you can remember the old standards).
    "You're better than no one and no one is better than you."
    -- Bob Dylan

    “There's never going to be a great misunderstanding of me. I think I'm a little whacked.”


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    Moderator Jessie_tinydancer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confusing "Entertainers" with "Objects of Entertainment."

    And people wonder why Im a man hater... ladies this behaviour is not "part of the job" and is not acceptable. These men have mothers, sisters, best friends, wives and daughters. Do they speak to them that way? What would they do if a man spoke to their female loved ones like that? Sorry but "boys being boys" is not an excuse. If it truly doesn't bother you than all the power to you... milk them for all they got. But like the OP it bothers me and I can still regularly make $1K+ a night without having to listen to assholes or play games with them.

    Just this weekend a guy asked me "do you dance dirty?" I rolled my eyes and him and said "no". He still booked me and extended twice.

    All Im saying is how you conduct your business is up to you and yes do what works, but I don't let customers belittle me or be disgusting pigs. I don't play along and I still do just fine. Putting up with douchebags will never be "part of my job"

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    Default Re: Confusing "Entertainers" with "Objects of Entertainment."

    first of all its a bunch of hot naked girls walking in 8inch heels with intoxicated men roaming around with their college buddies and colleagues.

    Its gonna fucking happen; your going to get pawed at and grabbed.. you don't have to put up with it. I work on Bourbon street in NOLA and just walking to work is like being in the club.

    Just tell them to screw off or like the other girl said ignore it.
    Nola is coming back but, you got to have a backbone and no bedtime to keep up.

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    Moderator Optimist's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confusing "Entertainers" with "Objects of Entertainment."

    Quote Originally Posted by BarbieDancer88 View Post
    first of all its a bunch of hot naked girls walking in 8inch heels with intoxicated men roaming around with their college buddies and colleagues.

    Its gonna fucking happen; your going to get pawed at and grabbed.. you don't have to put up with it. I work on Bourbon street in NOLA and just walking to work is like being in the club.

    Just tell them to screw off or like the other girl said ignore it.
    It doesn't have to be this way. There was a time men and women said, "Look you're walking around a bunch of men out in the working world of men and they're gonna do what they're gonna do. Your boss will hit on you and try to take advantage, the customers will touch you and push themselves on you. That's what you signed up for by becoming a secretary, waitress, plant worker, or just a female with the audacity to try to work like you're a man. Sexual harassment wasn't a crime and rape was only rape if you were a nun or an 80 years old.

    The only reason that changed is hard work to make cops arrest and punish offenders. We shouldn't have to live with the assumption that it will happen. It really doesn't have to.

    Somehow when I go to dance clubs with tons of drunk guys surrounded by hot chicks it's rare for any one of them to put their hand on me and if they do they are (ahem) escorted out by management. They don't do it where there is no tolerance for it by the management or the women. Men offend in the "gentlemens' clubs" because management allows it. Zero tolerance weeds out the guys who have come to attack.
    “What a caterpillar calls the end of the world we call a butterfly.” - ECKHART TOLLE

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    Member La Maddalena's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confusing "Entertainers" with "Objects of Entertainment."

    My second night dancing, a client asked me how much to see him outside the club. I told him it is not allowed and walked away. I found out he left with another dancer. My third night, a client was really rude asking me to dance a particular nasty way that some other girls dance, I told him no and walked away. He and his friends ended up paying me all night, even to just sit and chat.

    My point is that you do not have to take any disrespectful shit from anyone in any environment. I dealt with this crap even in other employment jobs. I didn't take it there and I'm not taking it here, even if I make less money. Also, management has a responsibility to maintain a safe and respectful work environment.

    From Dita Von Teese to a dancer in a small town club, we are entertainers in entertainment establishments. I do not put down prostitution, an adult has the right, but clients should not come into a strip club expecting this. And no one should go into any place expecting to get away with disrespecting someone.

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    Default Re: Confusing "Entertainers" with "Objects of Entertainment."

    In and outside the clubs men have become more obnoxious and aggressive towards women. I feel like once women wouldn't have thought twice to slap a guy for being rude. And maybe he would learn a lesson. But now guys get away with rape and justify it because a girl's clothes were too tight. Not that some men are perverts and can't control themselves. Some customers set out to go to the club to victimize somebody, and unfortunately clubs care more about the drink sales and making it look full and these guys get away with it. But I like my job because I can let people know what I think and walk away and make money off of somebody who treats me with respect. It just sucks when a club is overrun with extras girls and a guy literally can be like next, but at least I got that negativity out. I'm lucky to have a club where I can be mouthy to say the least.

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    Veteran Member Kalypso's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confusing "Entertainers" with "Objects of Entertainment."

    I agree, No it's NOT part of the job!! So no I WON'T just "deal with it or get out of the biz!"

    It's like going into McDonald's and causing a scene when you don't get seated just because P.F. Changs does Everyone's going to think you're a total tool right?
    Bitch? Actually I'm an evil cunt. Slut? Try dirty little whore. Either way, you have to pay for it.

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    Veteran Member Farrah_Golden's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confusing "Entertainers" with "Objects of Entertainment."

    Sorry for the late reply...took a nice little break from the internet. First off, I have officially began throwing the wadded up dollar bills and quarters right back at customers and my manager applauded me for it.

    That aside, I think it's sad that women believe they have to tolerate this treatment. And not only is it sad, but it's also dangerous. Just because I didn't buy that douchebag's crap about prostitution doesn't mean some other girl won't fall right into his trap! Remember what he said: "you don't make the rules; I make the rules." Should he be allowed to make the rules just because he has a penis? No, not money. PENIS, because that's ultimately what he believes. If he came in there with $20, he'd still expect to at least grab some tits and ass, because he believes that's what his money is purchasing. The right to use a woman like an object.

    Yes, I'm aware it will happen from time to time, but I refuse to believe I have to tolerate it just because it's happening. I deserve respect and will continue to demand it.

    No, I wasn't really given the opportunity to try and hustle something legit out of that guy before he made it perfectly clear what he wanted. At that point, I didn't even try to get him into the VIP, because I didn't WANT to be in there with him. I knew what he was gonna try to do, so why put up with his dumbass?

    Optimist, I couldn't agree with you more. For me, this job isn't just a job. I feel like it's empowering; it allows women to be in touch with their own sexuality, as we're often forbidden to do amongst society. It's one of the few places where I can maintain my personal freedom and it doesn't have to be ruined by a couple of guys who think they can come in and run the place. I think it's soooo important for dancers to constantly reinforce the motto of "you don't have to put up with anything," for the sake of the girls who start out not knowing otherwise. Thank you for your refreshing insight; you've completely captured every point I was trying to make.

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    Veteran Member Farrah_Golden's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confusing "Entertainers" with "Objects of Entertainment."

    P.s, I make EXCELLENT money 100% clean and damn proud of it, so yes, it can be done and ladies, don't believe anything otherwise.

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