Results 1 to 9 of 9

Thread: how can i make my relationship work?

  1. #1
    Veteran Member Aslinn's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2010
    Posts
    702
    Thanks
    130
    Thanked 464 Times in 217 Posts

    Default how can i make my relationship work?

    Me and my SO live together, I relocated to be closer to him and he's a great Guy. He doesn't talk down to me and he says sweet things every day. But more and more I find myself getting, idk bored? Its like as soon as we got all settled in our apartment the chemistry just died. Don't get me wrong I'm attracted to him and sex is great but its just like we have nothing in common all the sudden. Honestly I'm debating moving out to see if anything gets sparked up again. I feel like an old married couple and were not even married. Its just incredibly depressing for me, just the other day I completely lost my patience and said "were really different and I'm worried it may hurt our relationship later on." His response was "so what? We agree on the important things like marriage,religion and children." I was just basically floored and as soon as I said those don't apply to us right now so there are more important things right now, he completely shut down and didn't speak to me for about an hour and the rest of the night was awkward. I'm just so confused what to do its getting really lonely for me but I want to make this work because our relationship has no other major problems.

  2. #2
    Senior Member Candy Girl's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2008
    Location
    Chicago, IL
    Posts
    149
    Thanks
    534
    Thanked 83 Times in 53 Posts
    My Mood
    Yeehaw

    Default Re: how can i make my relationship work?

    Count your blessings but discreetly look around on the side. You may be having trouble identifying the problem. The real issue may be subtle. It is possible to be lonely in an un-fun relationship. It fits the bill, it's doable but there's no magic or real affection. You hafta ask: is life better with or without this guy? Are you his trophy? Now that he has you, he may feel doesn't have to try anymore.

    Don't jump the gun, but see if you can explore what's missing privately.
    Smoke good, eat good. Drink and f*** good. Comin' to the club, stuntin' how you should. My s*** on fire I don't need no gasolina. I'm comin through the block with the new two seater. Cash rules everything around me -- C.R.E.A.M. -- get the money! Dollar dollar bill, y'all!!! FREEZE!!! You know who it is!!! It's me *****es!!! Showtime!!! -Swizz Beats

  3. #3
    Featured Member
    Joined
    Oct 2003
    Posts
    1,019
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 10 Times in 9 Posts

    Default Re: how can i make my relationship work?

    If your absolutely sure you want the relationship to work maybe couples therapy?

  4. #4
    Veteran Member sweetsam's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    493
    Thanks
    508
    Thanked 426 Times in 177 Posts
    My Mood
    Busy

    Default Re: how can i make my relationship work?

    You sound just like me! lol That's exactly how I would describe the relationship I have with my boyfriend that I have been with for two years. We just broke and it was mutual. I was feeling the exact same way...old married couple, and nothing in common. Sucks sort of, because everything else was kind of perfect. We get a long great. I think we make better friends though at this point then we do as a couple.




  5. #5
    Featured Member FiendishGyrator's Avatar
    Joined
    Dec 2010
    Location
    Touring Louisiana
    Posts
    1,915
    Thanks
    532
    Thanked 1,536 Times in 735 Posts

    Default Re: how can i make my relationship work?

    I wouldn't be living with my significant other except that I travel all the time anyway so I only spend like 2 1/2 weeks a month home anyway. If you don't have an outlet, it's just the same shit different day over and over again.

    Can you go out and pump up your own life with new interests, friends, activities and then either share some of that with him, or just be so completely jazzed with yourself and having spent enough time outside of the house that you're happy to be home with your guy?

    I've put up threads on here looking for friends and dancing partners which I didn't ever think I'd do since I don't want it to blow up in my face, but join forums and local community groups and go out and challenge yourself.

    Maybe what's bugging you is that now that you're "settled" YOU feel in a rut which makes you think the relationship is in a rut. And maybe it is-- but maybe it's more about you, and you're just in a down point in the relationship. Give it time to go back up, do your own thing, and then go from there based on what you find out.

  6. The Following User Says Thank You to FiendishGyrator For This Useful Post:


  7. #6
    God/dess carmen_b's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2007
    Location
    the mountains ....
    Posts
    14,202
    Thanks
    15,165
    Thanked 21,346 Times in 9,308 Posts

    Default Re: how can i make my relationship work?

    ^ yes ! Having outside interests is crucial. Find things to do and hope he does the same to give you some alone time at the house too.

  8. #7
    Veteran Member innes's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    679
    Thanks
    452
    Thanked 353 Times in 201 Posts
    My Mood
    Psychedelic

    Default Re: how can i make my relationship work?

    Ideas (they may or may not apply to you)
    - go out on dates ... not just normal dates like dinner but more "exciting" things or at least different things - concerts, mini golf, laser tag ... just ideas
    - spice up your sex life (you said it's still good but some "new" things are always exciting)
    - spend time with your friends as well, go out with them on Fri night and do something with him on Sat night (or something)
    InnesX

  9. #8
    Veteran Member Aslinn's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2010
    Posts
    702
    Thanks
    130
    Thanked 464 Times in 217 Posts

    Default Re: how can i make my relationship work?

    We bit the bullet and talked about it, we came to the conclusion its a communication issue about what was really bugging us. Him being scared of what to say to me and vise versa so we just ended up avoiding each other but now I think were on the right track. I also think it doesn't help the fact that I'm having trouble finding friends. The people I have met are nice but they don't seem very interested in hanging out often, and our mutual friends would be kind of inappropriate to hang with alone. I think me not adjusting well really helped to put me in a slump. Thanks for your input guys I appreciate it.

  10. #9
    Banned
    Joined
    May 2004
    Location
    VA
    Posts
    1,725
    Thanks
    92
    Thanked 395 Times in 244 Posts
    My Mood
    Angry

    Default Re: how can i make my relationship work?

    It sounds to me like You are not ready to settle down. It doesnt seem to matter to him that u guys dont have alot in common but u need more. If ur getting bored with the guy then idk how much u want to settle down. This is common in someone age 18-25. When I was younger I met some nice guys but truthfully at age 20( a particular age I remember distinctly) i hadnt experienced enough of life and I fucked up a relationship or two that couldve worked due to lack of true commitment. Ill tell u that usually changes once u hit 30.

Similar Threads

  1. Juggling relationship and cam work
    By Busygirl in forum Other Work
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 04-28-2011, 04:44 AM
  2. Make-Up at Work
    By BabyMolly77 in forum Body Business
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 12-21-2010, 01:44 PM
  3. Do you get your make up done @ work?
    By Katrina312 in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 27
    Last Post: 10-30-2010, 10:00 AM
  4. How can I make this an actual relationship..
    By cayday19 in forum Life Support
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 05-21-2010, 11:37 AM
  5. Make her work for this dollar!
    By dayna in forum Club Chat
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 01-27-2009, 08:20 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •