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Thread: Lose/lose.

  1. #1
    Member DDaisy's Avatar
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    Default Lose/lose.

    Why the hell can't I say no?

    "No I can't meet that deadline." "No I can't make an appearance at your event." "No I can't drive you there/pick you up."

    It should be as simple as that. But rather than saying no, I just want to bury my head in the sand and stop dealing with people who want or expect something from me.

    I don't know if this is something everyone goes through at some point, but it is making me legitimately depressed.

    I don't even know if the problems I have are just in my head or if they're real things. I feel so stressed out and upset but I can't put my finger on why, other than the fact that I hate letting people down.

    It's to the point where I can't take a compliment from a well-meaning person, because it just creates another expectation.

    "You're so smart!" Then I'd better bring up my GPA.
    "You look pretty today!" I'd better start looking this good every day.
    "Your Spanish is really good, you'll be fine over there." I'd better not ask someone to repeat themselves or speak more slowly.

    But this is becoming a tangent.

    I'm just miserable today and I needed a space to vent.

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    Moderator Jessie_tinydancer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lose/lose.

    ^Im in the exact same head space at the moment and I have no idea what triggered it. Its like after 29 years of jumping through hoops for people with a smile on my face now I wanna just fucking punch them in the face and ask them "really? Ill do it, but first... what have you done for me lately?" riiiiiiight nothing. grrrrrr!!!! :@

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    Featured Member FiendishGyrator's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lose/lose.

    awwww, poor baby.

    It sounds like you need to practice saying no in the mirror, and having talks about what YOUR expectations are for YOURSELF.

    In all likelihood, unless you crack down, you probably need to get some counseling to practice and to hear that it's okay to not have to meet every body's expectations. YOURS are the most important.

    Makes me think about my favorite song about therapy
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m1pLCruKc8c

    My favorite line is this:
    "but oh how I loved everybody else, when I finally got to talk so much about myself!"

    I like the Lilith Fair version better (like acoustic better) but you'll get the drift

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