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Thread: How to dodge date requests...?

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    Senior Member dianadixon's Avatar
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    Lightbulb How to dodge date requests...?

    Hiya everyone. New here to posting, but been lurking and reading the forums for a bit. I'm also new to dancing and I'm in need of some advice.

    I've been working for about three weeks, and just now settling into a good routine with school and work that has me dancing Tuesdays & Thursdays (and Saturdays when I really need the money). At my club, the patrons and completely different on weeknights from weekends. The fellows that come to visit on weeknights seem to know where they are and what they're expected to be buying and tipping, which requires a little less teeth-pulling from my part. However, these weeknight patrons seem to also not understand that a strip club isn't actually for finding dates or a girlfriend. Every night, I get at least three or four guys that persists for my number, talks about dates that we could have, and vacations we could take, friends he wants me to meet, family bbqs he wants me to attend this weekend, etc... It's flattering and coming from men that are usually completely respectful and normal (and even sober!), but I'm not interested, across the board. I'm abstinent and don't entangle myself in dating or any illusion of romantic relationships (and my life is MUCH more simple and happy because of it!), but I'm not sure how to turn down their requests without also losing a customer. I've tried the excuse about "management not allowing customers and dancers to date," but that just seems like such a lie since everyone knows dancers are independent contractors and we do what we want. I've thought about designing a fake boyfriend, but I'm a dreadful liar and I've heard customers are turned off by dancers with real intimacy waiting at home, knowing that her act in the club is 100% fake.

    Any other ideas?? My dancer persona is racking up "club boyfriends" for now and it's going to get messy when three of them show up on one night intending to take her to VIP for the whole night. LOL LOL I'll have to start giving out her boyfriend's schedules!

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    Veteran Member Aslinn's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to dodge date requests...?

    Tell them what you told us, your abstinent to all romantic relationships.

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    Senior Member amorescudero's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to dodge date requests...?

    hmmm...I hear what your saying about guys trying to hook up. I get so many trying to give me their numbers. Ive tried telling them the truth, and saying I have a bf...and Ive tried lying and saying I dont. I have learned that lying makes me more money so now I lie.

    I have kinda come up with this story in my head about myself, that is half the truth and half fake. Basically it goes like this, I am from south florida, I moved up to this shithole PA bc I was once married to a man from here...however we are divorced and I am going to school up here, which is much cheaper then in FL, so that is why I remain in this state. I tell them that I am in school full time, and doing interships, and I am this overly busy woman. I tell guys that i am not good with relationships bc i had my heart broke in the past (poor me ) and that right now i am only interested in friendships and focusing on school.

    They usually say "oh well i understand...maybe we can be friends then..lets hang out"....I tell them that all my free time is spent here at the club working, and if they wanna come in while I am working I would love that. Then they keep coming in when I am working.

    So basically...my suggestion..is just make some shit up. Make up some excuse....or just simply tell them your not interested in having anysort of relationship bc you like your freedom. I have found though that implanting the idea of that MAYBE one day I may have some free time in my life for a guy....usually keeps them coming back.

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    Moderator Aurora_Sunset's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to dodge date requests...?

    I always told guys I had a bf. If they seemed like they didn't actually care and would spend money on me regardless, that was the end of that conversation. If guys seemed turned off by it, I would sometimes lie and pretend like I was in a rocky relationship. Like amorescudero said, you want to make it clear that you can't go out with them, but leave them with a vague hope of "maybe someday." I would tell guys, sorry, I have a bf. If they pressed for details and seemed really let down and like they wouldn't spend on me anymore, I would start in on the dramatics of "Oh, but we fight a lot. I honestly don't know how much long we'll stay together" yada yada. It isn't hard to get a guy to believe that a stripper has a shitty bf and relationship... It also isn't hard to get a guy to believe that a stripper doesn't have the self-esteem to leave her shitty bf and relationship, so when he keeps coming in and asking if you've broken up yet, you just say "No, we're working things out... Idk..." blah blah *sob-story* "you love him but you don't like the way he treats you" blah blah You get the picture. I didn't do this all the time, but I managed this play this game with one guy for about 3 months before he was banned from my club. Most will still lose interest eventually, but you may have a few good months of them clinging to that hope... and by the time they get fed up, you should be well into milking some other guy

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    Default Re: How to dodge date requests...?

    I always used a fake puppy. I would tell customers I was training him and needed to stay with him when I wasn't working. This actually worked.

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    Default Re: How to dodge date requests...?

    We're not allowed to tell them we have bfs.
    I start with 'but I hardly know you' and then if they push further (which they usually do) I explain I have trust issues since I've been hurt (emotionally) by either a recent ex, or someone I met in the club. This can work to your advantage if they think they can earn your trust by coming back to see you at work again.

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    Senior Member dianadixon's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to dodge date requests...?

    Haha, I have a REAL puppy that I've tried to use as an excuse. Then they just want to get together with our dogs!!! Buh! I like the idea of expressing that I have NO free time, and the only time we could spend together would be when I'm at work (um, as long as they provide a steady stream of money or don't expect me to spend the entire shift with him). I really DON'T have any free time. Classes (last semester before graduation!), dancing, studying, providing the dog attention, and having brunch with my friends. No time for dating! And maybe I'll try the rocky relationship angle too. Or what if I'm a lesbian!! Usually, these girlfriend seekers ask if I have "a boyfriend... or a girlfriend?" I have short hair... maybe I'm coming across as gay? Would that be a good thing or a bad thing if they thought I was only into girls? Would the challenge of "I can get her to switch sides" be a turn-on? Thanks for the ideas, y'all!

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    Veteran Member Kalypso's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to dodge date requests...?

    I'd just tell them that only Kalypso knows how to function with men and she doesn't exist OTC. [Insert fake name here] is possessive, needy, hates sex, and doesn't know how to cook
    Bitch? Actually I'm an evil cunt. Slut? Try dirty little whore. Either way, you have to pay for it.

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    Senior Member dianadixon's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to dodge date requests...?

    Ah yes, I should work the angle of making myself verrrrrrry appealing. "YES, let's date!! No wait, let's get married! Tonight!! I would love to marry you! I'll move in with you, and my collection of 236 stuffed animals can come too!! I'll quit my job and get fat and nasty and smelly and I'll never want to have sex, just lay around watching TV and eating candy. We can talk on the phone ALL DAY LONG while you're out making money for us. You'll have to come home right after work though to massage my bedsores acquired from laying around. No more strip clubs or friends or fun! LET'S TOTALLY GET MARRIED RIGHT NOW."

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    Default Re: How to dodge date requests...?

    i think you would be shocked at how many customers would not have a problem with this.

    Quote Originally Posted by dianadixon View Post
    Ah yes, I should work the angle of making myself verrrrrrry appealing. "YES, let's date!! No wait, let's get married! Tonight!! I would love to marry you! I'll move in with you, and my collection of 236 stuffed animals can come too!! I'll quit my job and get fat and nasty and smelly and I'll never want to have sex, just lay around watching TV and eating candy. We can talk on the phone ALL DAY LONG while you're out making money for us. You'll have to come home right after work though to massage my bedsores acquired from laying around. No more strip clubs or friends or fun! LET'S TOTALLY GET MARRIED RIGHT NOW."

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    Featured Member sananeko's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to dodge date requests...?

    ^^ agreed...

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    Default Re: How to dodge date requests...?

    Why can't you just tell them you don't mix business and pleasure? Sorry, I don't date, period.

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    Featured Member Laurisa's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to dodge date requests...?

    Tell them that you can't date customers because it's your company policy. If they say "but the club won't find out, who will tell"? Then say "No, it's MY company policy--I work for myself".
    If you are willing to do for one year what other's won't, you can spend a lifetime doing what other's cant.


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    Default Re: How to dodge date requests...?

    If a guy that does this spends money, chances are he wants the fantasy of a relationship. These guys come in frequently, usually stick primarily to one girl then start up with another one and repeat the cycle. You have to let him see you as overworked, busy, and needy. when he comes in he saves the day and you are sooooo happy to see him because you've had no time to have fun <insert some reason you'd need money>. When you are dancing for him tell him you can't wait to go out with him after you resolve your current situation. If he's going away, you can't wait to do whatever with him when he's back. But things just keep coming up, you have family staying with you, your cousin's getting married, you're going away, etc. You can't just say a quick answer like that you have to study, it has to be some problem that consumes a lot of time and you could have lots of random excuses. These guys like talk so tell him stories about this and keep hinting that he's such a big help and you are so glad to have a moment to relax. With these guys establish early on that they have to pay for your time, that you won't sit with them for hours because later they'll buy a few dances or else they'll just become time wasters. These guys see the money spent as courting you. After a few weeks let him think you are becoming attracted to him and turned on while dancing for him and he'll think he's so close to really dating you that he'll keep spending. I do this sometimes but most of them won't believe the act for too long without a lot of texting and phone calls and I have no patience for that. But if you can get a prepaid and are good at brushing people off, you an drain a guy like this.

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    Featured Member Brandi_Lynn's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to dodge date requests...?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kalypso View Post
    I'd just tell them that only Kalypso knows how to function with men and she doesn't exist OTC. [Insert fake name here] is possessive, needy, hates sex, and doesn't know how to cook
    Hahah! I luv it!
    "You're better than no one and no one is better than you."
    -- Bob Dylan

    “There's never going to be a great misunderstanding of me. I think I'm a little whacked.”


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    Featured Member Brandi_Lynn's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to dodge date requests...?

    I have a heart tattoo on my ring finger -so I tell them that I'm married to a tattoo artist. It works
    "You're better than no one and no one is better than you."
    -- Bob Dylan

    “There's never going to be a great misunderstanding of me. I think I'm a little whacked.”


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    Default Re: How to dodge date requests...?

    Quote Originally Posted by MissKatie View Post
    Why can't you just tell them you don't mix business and pleasure? Sorry, I don't date, period.
    Sometimes if u say that customers will then offer Money to try and sleep with you. Very frustrating like how many times do I have to say no stupid?

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    Featured Member Stripper Hacks's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to dodge date requests...?

    Tell them you are busy with school and work and aren't dating right now.

    Isn't that the truth?




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