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Thread: How would you feel...?

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    Default How would you feel...?

    I'm curious how the ladies would feel if their significant others went to a strip club, or go regularly to strip clubs? (not the one you work at, and not just talking about the one-off bachelor party, I mean regularly go)

    One dancer I talked to in a club said she wouldn't be cool with it, wonder if that opinion is shared?

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    Default Re: How would you feel...?

    My husband manages a strip club, and hangs out at them on the regular. He doesn't buy dances (the allure is way gone for him), but he does tip. Even if he did buy dances, as long as he wasn't breaking the bank, I wouldn't give a rats ass.

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    Default Re: How would you feel...?

    When my brother came in town a few months ago, I suggested my boyfriend take him to a strip club. He didn't because he probably felt uncomfortable, but I did not really care.

    If he were to go all the time it would be a problem for me, only because it means he would be spending money from our household.

    Basically it would be a money problem for me.
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    Default Re: How would you feel...?

    I've always been cool with it. As long as you treat the girls respectfully and buy drinks/tip reasonably. Nobody likes a cheap ass, and I figure if my SO is going to go into the club he'd better be prepared to spend some money.

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    Default Re: How would you feel...?

    As long as he is respectful to the dancers and isn't a tight arse I'm fine with it. I feel as though dancers that are not are kind of hypocritical (as long as there isn't a legitimate reason, such as not being able to financially afford it).
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    Default Re: How would you feel...?

    Couldn't care less. I have occassionally given him money to tip the girls. I think it's completely hypocritical to be a stripper and have a problem with my bf going to clubs. That's ridiculous to me.
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    Default Re: How would you feel...?

    I agree. Don't remember why this girl had an objection, was likely the money aspect.

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    Default Re: How would you feel...?

    I would have zero problem with my husband going to strip clubs. As long as he doesn't try to get extras or anything, why would I care? I'd be a total hypocrite. I actually wished he liked strip clubs more than he does, because he doesn't particularly care for them.

    However, I've met a lot of dancers, both IRL and on here, who seem to have serious jealousy issues when it comes to their SO going to a strip club. I don't get it. I guess it's some whole personal issue, because it makes zero sense to me.

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    Default Re: How would you feel...?

    I seem to be alone here because I would feel uncomfortable depending on the situation, so I might as well explain. If it were a social thing for my boyfriend, for instance if he was going in with friends, I would be absolutely fine as long as it didn't turn into extras (and in a good relationship I would extend the trust that it wouldn't). If were going alone and was doing much more than getting drinks or watching the stage, especially if it were a recent habit, I would probably be upset. The point of a strip club for me is to make money; the point of a strip club for almost every customer is to get turned on. It's totally normal and perfectly fine to be sexually attracted to many other people outside of your relationship, but an expensive habit to indulge in it is not cool with me.

    The deciding factor for me is probably that I've only been attracted to a customer once in four years of dancing and now we've been together for a year. I know that some women can get turned on by dancing for really hot men but I feel nothing. Kind of wish I did sometimes! If dancing felt sexual to me I would be fine with him going, though.

    The exception would be if a guy I'm with is just an extremely sexual person and has been open about it from the start. One of my exes was like this. Although he didn't go to strip clubs as far as I know, he slept with both guys and girls during our relationship (although it was open much of the time). This turned me on so much! It was so hot to me that my man could get with attractive people and was daring enough to fuck whoever he wanted to, even if it was a guy. I think this quality is very rare though.
    Last edited by lol1337a; 09-01-2011 at 10:38 AM.

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    Default Re: How would you feel...?

    "If went going alone and was doing much more than getting drinks or watching the stage, especially if it were a recent habit, I would probably be upset. The point of a strip club for me is to make money; the point of a strip club for almost every customer is to get turned on."

    Yea, good point there. in that sense it wouldn't be necessarily hypocritical, hypocritical would be you working at a SC but not allowing your man to work at a male strip club, or something like that.

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    Default Re: How would you feel...?

    Definitely. I would love to have a boyfriend who worked at a male strip club, actually. But the customer/dancer interaction is never a 1:1 ratio in my mind.

    Also I'm cringing at my accidentally bad grammar! I edit as I write so I make a lot of errors.
    Last edited by lol1337a; 09-01-2011 at 10:55 AM.

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    Default Re: How would you feel...?

    I would not like it for many reasons. If he worked in the industry and went to have a beer and tip I wouldn't care. However, having dealt with many married men or men in serious relationships I've seen more than my fair share of these men wanting sex. I would be worried he would ask the dancer or she would offer it.

    Now if he suggested going to a club, tipping (I am a big believer in this having danced)but not getting dances I would be fine. If he was just a guyfriend or a casul non serious boyfriend I would be ok. A husband? no not ok at all. I know this makes me a hypocrite but I know how many men are at clubs. I'm not worried about him finding someone else, btw, just the sex aspect.

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    Default Re: How would you feel...?

    I would be worried he would ask the dancer or she would offer it.
    Hmm, no kidding? about the offer part? I guess I haven't been around to enough clubs, the one's I've been to - no one's offered.

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    Default Re: How would you feel...?

    Noooooo problem. I don't think it's much of an issue, though. He has little interest in SCs, and he's only been a handful of times - once for a friend's bachelor party, and the few times I dragged him along with me to check out a club.

    But in general, this is not an isue for me. If I can't trust my partner, I have no business being with him or her. And to me, trust is not conditional - it extends to any and all situations. After all, if he really wanted to cheat on me, it's just as likely or more likely that he could do that by meeting someone at a regular bar. At least at the SC, the women are only there to work, they're not trying to "steal my man", lol.
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    Default Re: How would you feel...?

    Quote Originally Posted by skwadim View Post
    I agree. Don't remember why this girl had an objection, was likely the money aspect.

    Sometimes it may be jealousy but I agree, the money is a big part of it. No one knows better than a dancer how much money a guy can blow in a strip club. If you are sharing expenses with an SO the money spent at a strip club has to be money that can be considered disposable income. Spending the night getting lap dances and then telling your SO that you don't have your half of the rent isn't going to fly...

    FWIW, the dancer I'm seeing right now really has no problem with it. I don't go to clubs as much as I used to but she certainly knows that I go. Of course, since I never tried to get extras from her when I was her customer she probably knows that's not my MO in the clubs anyway. I think any gal who has been at it for a while knows that, for the dancer, it's all about the money and, as others have said, you either trust the guy or you don't. If he's going to cheat he doesn't need to go to a strip club to do it.
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    Default Re: How would you feel...?

    Quote Originally Posted by lol1337a View Post
    The point of a strip club for me is to make money; the point of a strip club for almost every customer is to get turned on. It's totally normal and perfectly fine to be sexually attracted to many other people outside of your relationship, but an expensive habit to indulge in it is not cool with me.
    This is more my line of thought. I don't think it's hypocritical since, like lol133t said, we go to make money and don't really care about our customers sexually, they go to spend money and fulfill some sort of sexual fantasy. I wouldn't care if he went with friends, or went occasionally by himself if he was bored. But a common habit to go alone? No, I wouldn't be ok with it.

    I guess, in my mind, there's also the fact that I am a stripper, and he has bought dances from me in the past, so I would be a little "wth" if he spent his money getting a dance from someone else when he could just as easily come in to see and spend the money on me, since it's not like I give him lapdances in my free time... I know, I know, guys want variety... I get it. I wouldn't begrudge him going to a club I didn't work at and getting a lapdance from some other girl occasionally. But I would just be a little hurt if he stopped coming into to see me all sexified in favor of spending that money on some other dancer he didn't know.

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    Default Re: How would you feel...?

    I think it all depends on the specifics of the situation. If the girl has some insecurities, the guy has a bad track record, or the relationship is hitting some bumps, I think the dancer might frown upon it. I witnessed it a year ago when a dancer's SO and I stopped for drinks only at a club across town while she was working at her club. He told her we stopped in, rather than her finding out from people who may have seen us there, and she apparently hit the ceiling over it. My friend and I really didn't think it a big deal but she did.
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    Default Re: How would you feel...?

    I go more often than my SO goes, lol. He doesn't like to spend the money. But he gets a lot of play when get goes and I'm actually ok with that.

    I've never dated a guy who went regularly and I've never completely shared finances with a partner, so its something I've never encountered, I don't think I would like it though. But I have zero problem with him going occasionally, or for a social outing, and I like going to clubs so he's welcome to come with me...if he doesn't want to go, I have other ppl to go with.

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    Default Re: How would you feel...?

    I wouldn't be cool with it. The real question comes down to trust.

    Knowing that if either of us were to travel out of town it would be inevitable that most guys would probably go to a club. Why would I bother getting myself upset over a few visits a year?

    Now if he traveled on business a lot of the time that would be a different story if always went to clubs.

    If he was a regular that bought dances and knew the girls on a first name basis, was texting them, or even just a gawker in the front row tipping his favorite girl and buying drinks and made numerous trips back to see certain girls...

    Knowing what I know about strip clubs I'd have to say:

    Fuck that.

    The point of a strip club for me is to make money; the point of a strip club for almost every customer is to get turned on.
    Right were making a living and it's not sexual for a majority of dancers.

    Here are a few weird stories: Was making small talk with a customer one time and he finally admitted that he just dropped his girlfriend off at work at a competitor club.

    A different incident and another club one of the dancers was crying because her boyfriend was at a competitor club while she was working.

    These were two separate incidents so not the same couple.

    I bet these two girls probably said "Oh sure I'm cool with it."




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    Default Re: How would you feel...?

    I wouldn't like it b/c it would mean he is spending our $$ on entertainment w/o me (Same as if he was going to the movies, concerts, or regular clubs alone w/o me ).If he was a beer nursing regular I wouldn't like it either b/c he knows and follows stripclub etiquette. Once in awhile with friends is totally fine, but to be a reg. is a different story imo.

    Also, unlike all the other so called" boyfriends/husbands" that I do run into and "Don't buy dances" (this should never happen) if he were to come into my club or any other..... he better be buying dances!

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    Default Re: How would you feel...?

    "Knowing what I know about strip clubs I'd have to say:

    Fuck that."

    meaning knowing what guys do there, or what girls do there, or the attitude they have?

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    Default Re: How would you feel...?

    Mainly the girls because it's their job is to entice men to make money.

    The deal is, not because they are dancers but some people in general don't have a personal code of ethics.

    Say you're dating a girl and she really likes you. Sometimes all it takes is one guy that is a smooth talker with an agenda and he is not going to care if she is dating any one or not and she might give in to the pressure.

    The way a dancer sees things is that a man made a conscious decision to enter an establishment where near naked women cater to men with money to blow.

    I can't remember the last time I ever asked a customer "Do you have a girlfriend/wife/kids?" It seems to me that if a guy goes to a strip club I'm assuming that is the last thing he wants to talk about any way.
    Last edited by Stripper Hacks; 09-02-2011 at 04:32 AM.




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    Default Re: How would you feel...?

    Quote Originally Posted by Stripper Hacks View Post

    Say you're dating a girl and she really likes you. Sometimes all it takes is one guy that is a smooth talker with an agenda and he is not going to care if she is dating any one or not and she might give in to the pressure.

    The way a dancer sees things is that a man made a conscious decision to enter an establishment where near naked women cater to men with money to blow.
    Just gotta say, this is true. There used to be a guy who came into my club almost every day because he came with his friend who was obsessed with strippers. He would tip, but would always turn down lapdances, saying "I have an awesome gf who lets me come here and have fun, but the only rule is I'm not allowed to get lapdances." Every girl went up to him every day and tried talking him out his "policy." I think it was more because he was a "challenge" than anything. And then, eventually, one of the strippers spent so much time cuddled up next to him, that he started getting dances every time from her, and even hooking up with her OTC.

    Not saying that every stripper is disrespectful of others' relationships to this extent or that all customers would do this... but... I mean, the guy was in there every day. A customer that gets harassed every day by girls wanting dances and his money, and spends probably just as much, if not more, time with the dancers as his gf...

    I don't think he came in looking for trouble or to cheat on his gf, and I don't think the dancers were originally trying to get him to get dances out of some desire to ruin his relationship. But, I always found it odd when guys with gf's would come into club and be like "Oh, no, I can't get a dance - I have a gf." I assume if you're in there... it doesn't matter to you at the moment - it's not like you didn't know what a SC was. The general dynamic of the SC is: guy goes in to get sexually excited by looking at other naked women and having them grind on him; stripper goes in to try to get any guy in there to buy a dance, regardless of relationship status, because hey, the dude obviously came in for a reason. This doesn't always, (or even often IMO) go awry or go beyond harmless fun, but it can, especially if he's in there all the time and the girls are getting buddy-buddy with him. This wasn't my reasoning behind being uncomfortable with it, but, I do understand the mentality of girls who have just seen shady shit going on between customers and dancers and would have a problem with their man going alone all the time.

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    Default Re: How would you feel...?

    My boyfriend goes pretty regularly, but recently a lot of the time it is because he took me to work and is hanging out at a different club until I get off and we go home.

    I don't have a problem with him going. It's funny, because before I became a dancer strip clubs were strictly forbidden for him, lol. I did feel a little weird about it at first after I started dancing, because I know how dirty some girls can be. But I trust him completely and got over that pretty quickly. Now I don't care at all.

    Sometimes I do feel a tiny bit of jealousy, but it is only because of the money aspect. Especially if I have a shit night at work, and he's spent a couple hundred and made some other girl's night good. But it's not like a problem or anything, I just shrug it off because I know it's silly to think like that.

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    Default Re: How would you feel...?

    As long as I knew - either before or after the fact - and money wasn't an issue I'd be fine, but I am sooo not the jealous type. If I found out he didn't tip or buy a dance I'd be pissed.

    I kinda understand why a girl would be jealous or worried about him trying to pick up or get extras but I've seen guys with girlfriends do that in normal bars and I like to think if I was dating someone that he wouldn't be the type to do that. If you're worried about your man being in a strip club it's not the strippers you should be worried about.

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