I'm generally a happy person and most of the time I'm very laid back. I'm all about chillin'... live and let live, I'm not neurotic or high-strung at all, and stress doesn't usually affect me the same way it affects others.
HOWEVER, there is another side of me that occasionally emerges. I'm totally fine until something/someone pushes my buttons and then I pretty much EXPLODE into a raging fireball of anger for a few minutes and then I'm fine again.
Take this morning... I was in a decent mood, putting on makeup to go on webcam, when my 3-year-old asked me to put in a DVD. So I did, and for the next few minutes he kept running out to come get me, first he wanted to show me a preview for a movie that he likes, then he wanted me to press "play" on the menu screen, except instead of the movie, he wanted to watch the special features.
I looked around for his remote and didn't see it anywhere. I knew it was in his room somewhere, as he likes to play with it like it's one of his toys. I told him to look for it, but he just stood there. I started walking out of the room and he whined. I yelled at him to look for the remote, that I don't have time to look for it. Still, he just stood there.
At that point I snapped and started stomping around his room, throwing his blankets off his bed and tossing toys around looking for it while simultaneously yelling loudly at him and I'm pretty sure I slipped a curse word in there too. My husband walked in with alook on his face. I just walked out and then felt extremely bad.
Obviously, that's not an appropriate way to react to the situation or to behave around a young child. It's not even something to get mad about. I don't know why I reacted the way I did. Sometimes I feel like something just grabs ahold of me beyond my control, like I get 'possessed' by a demon.
Normally with my son I'm very loving and patient and I tolerate a lot of stuff that my husband doesn't. I'm the good cop, he's the bad cop kind of thing. But when I'm pushed to the edge (which admittedly doesn't take much), I just go off and start yelling and screaming and even throwing stuff around. It has NOTHING to do with discipline, it's only for me to get my frustrations out. I'm afraid my son sees this and then thinks it's okay to have temper tantrums.
There have been times in the past when I've been drunk and hit or pushed my husband during arguments. I feel like I get to a point where I don't know what ELSE to do besides react violently. He's never fought back fortunately. There have also been times where I've been sober during fights and I don't hit him, but I do hit the wall or throw something. It always makes me feel REALLY bad afterwards. I feel like, if I were a man and my husband were a woman I'd be considered abusive and he'd probably be afraid of me.
Anyone else experience anger issues and if so, how do/did you deal with it? I really hate behaving this way especially around my son. It makes me feel like shit.![]()



look on his face. I just walked out and then felt extremely bad.
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I appreciate the advice.
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