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Thread: Hating on my SO's un-housetrained dog

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    Featured Member FiendishGyrator's Avatar
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    Default Hating on my SO's un-housetrained dog

    So my SO and I moved in and his dog, despite being over 2 years old, is not housetrained. Initially she was, and then she stayed a year at his mom's house where she just let's her dogs piss and shit all over the house, so of course this dog did too.

    I hate that she's locked up so much, but we just can't trust her wandering around the house. She does go to the door and then she pees there. Sometimes when I've let her out for 20-40 minutes, she then pees on the carpet twenty minutes after being let in.

    I know beating her and putting her face in the pee doesn't help, but I'm just so aggravated with her!

    If there's some magic solution except locking her up when we're not around, and letting her out several times a day (and timing it just right after she eats) please let me know.

    At the moment, the pee is more of an issue than the poop. If we let her out twenty minutes after she eats it seems to have taken care of the poop except on the rare occasion when she's gotten out of her little locked cubby and we're buying a crate for that.

    She's seriously fucking pissing me off. I'm about to tell my SO that I am no longer cleaning up her stuff as I've seriously done that like five times this week.

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    God/dess Vyanka's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hating on my SO's un-housetrained dog

    Get a trainer. It's a good investment. I have no patience for training dogs.

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    Default Re: Hating on my SO's un-housetrained dog

    If it's your SO's dog, why isn't he cleaning up after it?

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    God/dess Kisca's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hating on my SO's un-housetrained dog

    You'll need to re-train the dog, or get a trainer.

    Timing and keeping the same feeding time would be the first step, knowing the signs the dog wants to go (sniffing, going in circles etc). Let the dog out after napping/sleeping, eating and *playing. Training it on a pee-pad when you know you wont be home is an option when you cannot let it go outside. WHen you see the dog pee/poo make a quick noise and drag the dog into the pad, or let them *outside. Yelling, putting the dogs face into its mess wont help after the deed is done, as dogs will forget what they did wrong. Praise the dog A LOT, when it goes outside or on the pee-pad, ignore the accidents. In the mean time it will take a lot of patince and timing.
    Last edited by Kisca; 09-06-2011 at 12:06 PM. Reason: too many errors when sleepy!

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    Default Re: Hating on my SO's un-housetrained dog

    I can relate to the frustration somewhat. Years back a girl I was friends with at the time but don't associate with anymore (I wrote bout her on here before, for being a total doormat) got a dog and had no discipline power whatsoever. Meanwhile her mean abusive bf would be way too rough to the dog and be abusive, like punishing him by sticking his head under the sink faucet for half a min the dog annoyed me becuz he'd piss everywhere and everyone including me would end up stepping in it by accident. And he'd constantly jump up on me (esp when I'd first enter to visit) and spray drops of pee on my pants yuck! (no he wasn't aroused or anything, he was still a immature puppy) In the end this girl and her bf had to give him up for adoption but a nice wealthy guy ended up adopting him.

    I think this situation is harder becuz ur bf has had him for several yrs, as opposed to 1 measly month like that girl I just described. Even if i had an animal for a few days kd be too attached to give him/her up but mebbe it's becuz im the type who is obsessed with animals? (that's what people tell me) lol. I agree that a dog trainer would be a good investment and so would keeping strict tabs of his eating habits. Make sure the bf is the one to Kay for training sinse it's his dog and ur being nice enough to deal with all this.

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    God/dess whirlerz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hating on my SO's un-housetrained dog

    Agree w/above, it's frustrating I know..my ex bf never trained his dog! The previous one he lost due to never having it on a leash..I would look into a trainer, since as mentioned it's older now, & more difficult. Good luck, sorry i can't be more of help, I have a rabbit, she was trained at her shelter.


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    Default Re: Hating on my SO's un-housetrained dog

    Yeah make your SO clean up his dog and then train his dog. I wouldn't put up with that either!!
    InnesX

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    Veteran Member Kat w's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hating on my SO's un-housetrained dog

    Quote Originally Posted by FiendishGyrator View Post
    I know beating her and putting her face in the pee doesn't help, but I'm just so aggravated with her!

    If there's some magic solution except locking her up when we're not around, and letting her out several times a day (and timing it just right after she eats) please let me know.

    She's seriously fucking pissing me off. I'm about to tell my SO that I am no longer cleaning up her stuff as I've seriously done that like five times this week.
    1. Who is beating her and putting her face in the pee? You? Your SO? Or was that just a hypothetical extreme measure? Because, that's just no ...

    2. There is no real magic solution but you and your SO and the dog should work together with a trainer so that both you and your SO learn how to command the dog.

    3. I know that this must be really really sucky, extra sucky because it isn't your dog and it really isn't your responsibility. You can disengage from the situation and leave the mess for your SO but if he doesn't take the initiative and start to clean up then it will create problems between you and your SO.

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    Default Re: Hating on my SO's un-housetrained dog

    I am the one smacking her on the face or on the butt for peeing, or not coming, or for creating a hole in the fence to go gallivanting around the neighborhood. While I know that smacking is not training, it has gotten her to stop whining when I've had her go to bed in her little cubbyhole.

    As far as cleaning up the dog, in this relationship, he's spent more time with my dog than with his, and he'd almost always be super nice and take my dog for walks even when I didn't want to. That's why I'm being more patient and cleaning up the mess. The next few messes are his to clean up-- I just hate that he sees me cleaning and he doesn't automatically go, "oh here, let me get that."

    She's getting to be better but not to the point that we can leave her alone. The past couple of days haven't had any "I go outside to play, I come inside to pee and poop" incidents.

    As far as the trainer-- that's likely not going to happen due to multiple things. However, I am shoving treats in my boyfriend's hand and telling him to work with his dog and he is also occasionally going out with her and praising her when she pees or poops outside.

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    Default Re: Hating on my SO's un-housetrained dog

    ^First off, step the hell away from the dog. There is no reason to be hitting a dog for any reason. I understand you're aggravated, but IT DOES NOT HELP. The dog has no attention span, it doesn't understand cause and effect. It just thinks you're hitting it for kicks. If you and your boyfriend hit your dog, you really shouldn't have one.

    Seriously? You hit the dog for not coming? And you wonder why it doesn't come? Really? Way to teach the dog to run the heck away from you.

    You need a trainer. If you don't have the time, and you certainly don't have the temperament, you can't do it on your own. Hire a trainer.

    If you insist on doing it yourself (which I sincerely hope you don't), you need to housebreak it as you would an 8-week old puppy. Take it out every hour, on the hour, around the clock. Play with her and make a big fuss over her right after she goes, then put her back in the crate. As she catches on, you can begin to extend it to 2 hours, 3 hours, 4 hours, and eventually through the night.

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    Default Re: Hating on my SO's un-housetrained dog

    If your SO isn't training the dog, explain to him that he needs to hire a trainer because you are NOT going to keep cleaning up after it. Or, when you see a mess, say "hey [SO's name], your dog made a mess again, could you clean it up? thanks".

    @kandie_kitten - I'm going to presume that she doesn't mean full on hitting the dog. A light tap so that it is just "uncomfortable" for the dog is okay. Kind of like spanking when we were kids. Or a pinch or something. Not an all out beating which is, of course, very wrong!
    InnesX

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    Default Re: Hating on my SO's un-housetrained dog

    ^No, it's not okay. Especially since the OP said she knows better, but does it anyway because she gets so aggravated.

    My family and I train service dogs, rehab aggressive dogs, and teach people how to train dogs, and the number one lesson we teach PEOPLE is that it is never okay to hit, slap, or "tap" your dog, particularly if you want a well-behaved, non-aggressive dog. The people who think it's okay to "tap" a dog are the same ones who are shocked when their dog turns around and bites them.

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    Featured Member FiendishGyrator's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hating on my SO's un-housetrained dog

    Normally, I agree with you. And in most of the cases, my negative correction is doing more for me than it is for her. There are several time s though where I do think it's been the correct and expedient thing to do.

    I've done a lot of training with other dogs and without the negative correction except for loud noises when they're doing something bad-- having a room in the house that smells like pee drives me up the wall though, and I admit there have been several times when I've reacted from anger rather than correction-- that is wrong-- not the hitting, but hitting from emotion.

    And she doesn't not come because I hit her-- She did that way before I ever hit her-- She'll look at me, or my boyfriend, and then just stare or dawdle off and go do something else. I get that in her mind she may not be making the connection between "come" and the act of doing it, but she actually knows the command and is simply stubborn and chooses to follow the command when she feels like it. Am I going to go over to her, smack her on her butt and drag her to where I want her? Yes. Has this increased the amount of times that she now comes when she's called? Yes. And do I appropriately praise her and rub her when she does and still smack and drag her when she doesn't? Yes.

    Now she comes more often than not, and she comes IMMEDIATELY because she knows that I will IMMEDIATELY come for her in a most unpleasant fashion if she doesn't.

    And I wouldn't hold it against a dog to bite me if I hit it. I think people who bitch about that are stupid. Dogs, granted, should show warning signs but even then-- any dog can bite for any reason and anyone who doesn't know that shouldn't have a dog.

    I also have an "aggressive breed" who was unneutered when I got him and completely human and animal unsocialized. Has he gotten physically corrected? Yes. Does he know not to bite me (which he did the first night I got him and it nothing to do with any physical thing on my part) because he knows I will physically put him down (not dead down-- like on the ground pinned down)? Yes.

    Same with the SO's dog whining-- she whines, she gets smacked. She stops whining and she doesn't do it again. If she whines tonight, and I do it again, and she whines a third night-- I'd be willing to rethink my position on that.

    I agree with you for the most part-- I don't think that people who beat animals should own them-- what's the difference between beating and correction though because I certainly don't think people should beat their kids, but I also feel that many MORE kids should be spanked or physically corrected to underscore the seriousness of a situation. I also agree that me hitting the dog out of frustration is bad. However, sometimes I do feel that negative physical correction (when not down out of anger) can be used and be effective, and in some cases more effective than purely 100% positive reinforcement all that time-- just like I said with spanking a kid.

    And that's coming from someone who's helped with rehabilitated animals and service animals as well.

    I get where you're coming from-- I stopped talking to a guy because he laughing told a story about beating his dog for some small infraction, to the point that it bit him, and he went and shot it dead. The sistermate of the dog came and attacked him and I think he either killed her with a shovel or a gun, I can't remember. What a fucking awful story, and I equate that with what must be an awful person, to be able to do that.

    I don't think animal abuse is right and that's why I'm taking steps to both not react to her in anger, and train her with positive reinforcement as much as possible. However, that being said-- as said above, I'm not going to apologize for smacking her on the butt or on the head when she knows what come means and doesn't do it. Or, she gets put to bed and then proceeds to whine despite having plenty of human interaction and inside and outside time. I'm not in danger of physically incapacitating her, and she gets massively more love in this house than not. I'm not routinely walking around kicking her in her gut. Nor is she some twiggy little dog that a smack is going to really physically hurt.

    Here's another example:
    My dog came to me liking to chew certain types of shoes-- it's rare, but he will chew up thin shoes-- like flip flops. Two years ago, he chewed up a pair of my flip flops and I smacked him with the flip flop repeatedly. He didn't chew on a pair of flip flops again. a few nights ago, for the first time in ages, he picked up a really thin (but not flip flop) shoe to play with it, but that could have easily turned into biting play that would have ruined the shoe. I quickly shouted no, removed the shoe, and then hit him several times with the shoe. He will not be picking up that shoe or a similar shoe anymore. It likely scared him, and didn't hurt very much.

    Later on, I was sure to invite him over, have him do some tricks, and then spend twenty minutes brushing and cooing over him. He didn't act like he was scared of me, and I think the difference is that he knows that being corrected doesn't mean he's going to get beat at the drop of the hat for merely existing. There are some people who beat dogs because of what's going on in their lives rather than trying to correct the dog for something. He needed to be corrected, and from previous experience this way worked. Negative reinforcement does not work in some, or I would even say in most, circumstances. But it is validated in some.

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    Default Re: Hating on my SO's un-housetrained dog

    I was going to respond to your post point by point, but the part where you defended smacking your dogs with shoes...yeah, there's no point. People who do that sort of behavior to an animal can't be helped, and no amount of real advice can change your ideas.

    No one ever denied that beating your dog can get results, sure it can. Just like holding a kids hand on a hot stove will sure as hell teach the kid not to do it again. But there are better ways. You just don't care to learn them.

    Keep on smacking your dogs, and waiting for some magic trick to housebreak them.

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    Featured Member FiendishGyrator's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hating on my SO's un-housetrained dog

    *eye roll* we agree to disagree on that point.

    Because obviously smacking a dog with a light shoe that's not even going to hurt them is the same thing as BURNING.

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    Default Re: Hating on my SO's un-housetrained dog

    Quote Originally Posted by Kisca View Post
    You'll need to re-train the dog, or get a trainer.

    Timing and keeping the same feeding time would be the first step, knowing the signs the dog wants to go (sniffing, going in circles etc). Let the dog out after napping/sleeping, eating and *playing. Training it on a pee-pad when you know you wont be home is an option when you cannot let it go outside. WHen you see the dog pee/poo make a quick noise and drag the dog into the pad, or let them *outside. Yelling, putting the dogs face into its mess wont help after the deed is done, as dogs will forget what they did wrong. Praise the dog A LOT, when it goes outside or on the pee-pad, ignore the accidents. In the mean time it will take a lot of patince and timing.
    ^^^^This is probably where a professional trainer would start--with emphasis on the strict, unvarying feeding and walking schedule--same times every day, no variations.

    The other suggestion offered further up-thread concerning treating the dog like an 8-week-old pup and going back to very frequent walks is also an excellent one, in my experience with dogs.

    It's good to know that there are so many members who care and sincerely want to help, based on their own experiences.

    Fiendish, you are clearly trying to do the right thing in a really difficult situation; my heart goes out to you.

    My only experience with dogs has been with pet house dogs (family companion dogs or family pets)--always mixed breed, always shelter adoptions--and we always took them for obedience training classes or consulted an in-home private dog trainer recommended by our veterinarian if the situation was extreme.

    I heartily agree with those who recommend consulting a professional dog trainer. I can't emphasize enough that it is most definitely worth the time and money.

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    Default Re: Hating on my SO's un-housetrained dog

    I'd hit the stupid dog too.

    My stupid cats RUINED my carpets, luckily I am moving in 5 days.

    I took one of them back to the Humane Society because it got so bad, the other one isn't far behind if he doesn't stop shredding my box spring and furniture and tracking cat shit on my carpet.

    I mean seriously, it's disgusting.

    I decided to get him declawed, regardless of who thinks it is inhumane. He literally destroyed my box spring and I have to buy new couches soon. He also destroyed part of my carpet from literally tearing it up. If I declaw him then the only problem will be him tracking cat shit on the floor. His new litter box and litter box mat has remedied most of that.

    It's either I declaw him or he goes to the shelter, I think a declaw of a 5 month old cat is the lesser of two evils.
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    Default Re: Hating on my SO's un-housetrained dog

    ^It depends. With that, they may have pain issues later on in life and they might pee MORE in bad spots causing you to still give her up. It's like cutting the first digit of your finger off. So you might get a cat who pees MORE.

    Most cats are pretty clean. You might have just gotten a funky one and nothing's going to change that. So if he didn't shred stuff, would you be okay with the tracking poop stuff?

    Is the place where you got her a kill center, or not? Because if it's a kill center, I'd agree that declawing is better than that. if not-- I'd just try to give the cat to a place that needs a ratter if there's any semi rural places around.

    I laughed out loud at your post though

    Despite my posts on beating them, or smacking them on the butt or head-- they are very loved, and both my boyfriend and I are working with his dog. For example-- today, the only bad thing she did was stick her head in the trash can and root around. I called to her and she must not have heard me from all the rooting around, so I snuck up on her and slapped her side and she went directly to bed (which she wouldn't have done before.)

    So yes, training-- my boyfriend and are are playing with them and they're running around chasing balls and each other. Hopefully the pee on the carpet is behind us if we keep doing what we're doing.

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    Default Re: Hating on my SO's un-housetrained dog

    Quote Originally Posted by Laurisa View Post
    I'd hit the stupid dog too.

    My stupid cats RUINED my carpets, luckily I am moving in 5 days.

    I took one of them back to the Humane Society because it got so bad, the other one isn't far behind if he doesn't stop shredding my box spring and furniture and tracking cat shit on my carpet.

    I mean seriously, it's disgusting.

    I decided to get him declawed, regardless of who thinks it is inhumane. He literally destroyed my box spring and I have to buy new couches soon. He also destroyed part of my carpet from literally tearing it up. If I declaw him then the only problem will be him tracking cat shit on the floor. His new litter box and litter box mat has remedied most of that.

    It's either I declaw him or he goes to the shelter, I think a declaw of a 5 month old cat is the lesser of two evils.
    Please take the cat to a no kill shelter and please don't get anymore.
    I have five indoor cats and they have all been trained not to claw. It isn't hard.
    De clawing is an amputation at the knuckle and is cruel. How would you like to have your fingers amputated at the knuckle. Imo it isn't the lesser of two evils. Maybe cats aren't your thing. You don't seem to have much patience or sympathy.
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    Default Re: Hating on my SO's un-housetrained dog

    I forgot to add, you can also put double side tape up to train them not to scratch your couches. I think that and tinfoil they hate the feel of. Otherwise you can get a cheap door handle scratching post thingy, and wave it and drag it in front of them so they have to "catch" it, and then they can scratch at it and they figure out that they like doing that.

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    Default Re: Hating on my SO's un-housetrained dog

    I didn't get him from a shelter.

    I got him from a person at 8 weeks old.

    I'm not getting rid of him, my son has autism and they love each other. My son doesn't have any playmates and he is very attached to the cat.

    The cat is getting declawed, it is a legal procedure and I have had several cats that I grew up with who were declawed and were just fine.

    He does not pee anywhere, the other cat that I got rid of did. He uses the litter box fine, he just tracks poop in the house sometimes.

    I don't care who thinks it is "inhumane". I am very aware of what the procedure is and he will be fine. He will be under anesthesia when it takes place because it will be done at the same time as his neuter. He will have pain medication and he will survive.

    And velvet, if I didn't have much sympathy I would take him to a shelter. He is an all black cat and those cats do not get adopted very easily, statistically speaking. I provide him with everything he needs and I am a very patient person. I have an autistic child and am a single mother, I don't think you know much about me. You can say whatever you want about it but I don't care, he is getting declawed.

    He has toys and a great scratching post, he does not use them. I am not putting double sided tape and/or tinfoil on leather couches. My son will rip it off and eat it, he puts everything in his mouth.

    The cat's "psyche" is not worth me losing my $1500 security deposit at my new condo. I have priorities--i.e. a job, house, and an autistic child. A cat's mental health is not at the top of my list.
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    Default Re: Hating on my SO's un-housetrained dog

    ^ Im studying to be a vet and de-clawing is illegal here and in a lot of countries. It is inhumane.. thats why most of the first world doesn't allow it and why I would never professionally recommend or perform the procedure for cases that are not medically related. Reading your post make me scared of what Ill want to do to people who speak of their pets the way you do. Thank god your son actually understands that its not "just an animal". They are living things not objects that you just throw away.

    As for the OP....house breaking can be a pain the arse and takes a lot of patience but its worth it in the end! My first dog I got in an apartment that was a rental and I was on the 10th floor with only a small balcony so it was quite a mission. It took me about 6 months of the below system to teach her to go out on the balcony. My second dog it only took about 3 weeks because she followed my other dog in her behaviours.

    1) The dog should be walked at least twice a day - all dogs should. Not having time is not an excuse. You can do a quick spin around the corner in less than 10 mins. Once in the morning and once at night.

    2) Every time the dog pees or poos outside - whether its when they go out or on a walk. You give them tons of praise, pats and a treat and give a cue word ie. Good pees! Good boy/girl. When you take the dog out - you must go out in the yard with it so it can get its praise and treat straight away. When you open the door say "Ok lets go do pees" (or whatever word you wanna use)

    3) Continue with the treat and praise thing for at least 3 months after the dog has got the hang of it. Eventually you won't need to follow it out because when it comes back in it will run straight to you for the treat and hopefully sit (If you teach it that too).

    4) Like Kisca said watch for circling and if you do catch the dog starting to pee inside make a loud distracting noise ie. clap hands, I make a "ahhh" sound at the top of my lungs and lead the dog outside and say "go do wee" in a nice voice not angry. If you say it angry the dog will confuse outside pee with being bad.

    5) Take the dog out as much as possible saying "lets go to wee". As soon as you wake up, before bed, after dinner, anytime you leave the house, any time you get back. Dogs are very easy to train they just need repetition and praise.

    Its really not that hard with a little patience although it should be your BF doing the training its better if everyone in the household gets involved that means more opportunities for training and the dog will listen to both of you.

    As for coming... When you call "come" say it in a nice exciting voice. I say "common bubba, come see momma" in a very high pitched happy voice so she thinks she's getting something. At first like house training you need to use treats either food or a toy constantly... once they've learned the cue they will just come but never say it in an angry or annoyed voice. They can't understand us, they understand our body language and tone and they are very smart. If they know you are mad they won't listen.

    If you are following this and the dog is still peeing inside it may actually have a problem with its bladder or urinary system so it should see a vet.

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    Sia

  32. #23
    Featured Member Laurisa's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hating on my SO's un-housetrained dog

    Yes, because me declawing my cat makes me a bad person.

    Declawing is 100% legal in the United States, and vets all over the country perform the procedure regularly. I am not breaking the law by having my cat declawed, and in my country it is not illegal so I am not concerned.

    As stated, I will make sure he has adequate pain medication and he will be under anesthesia for the procedure so he will not feel any pain while it is done. He will receive a check up post surgery to make sure there is no infection.

    I have a family member who is a burn victim, he almost died. He lost all of his fingers on one hand (they were amputated when they were severely burned), he had third degree burns over 90% of his body. He had numerous skin grafts and cannot sweat anywhere except the back of his neck. His accident happened when he was three.

    Anyhow, now he is 24-years-old and leads a happy life, and makes great use of his damaged hand. He can still drive a car and he can even ride a motorcycle. He lives a great life and doesn't mind that his hand is deformed.

    So, I don't feel bad for the cat. If a human can go through it in a painful accident and still be OK then a cat can go through a planned medical procedure with anesthesia and medical professionals present.

    My son is autistic, and he's only 18-months-old. He doesn't have a concept of what an animal and/or a pet is, I am keeping the cat because I know my son and the cat have a strong bond.
    If you are willing to do for one year what other's won't, you can spend a lifetime doing what other's cant.


  33. #24
    Moderator Jessie_tinydancer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hating on my SO's un-housetrained dog

    ^Um the humans parents didn't decide to cut off his fingers because they thought they're house would be prettier without his fingers. Just because its practiced in the states doesn't mean its ok. The American Veterinary Association actually views declawing as a last resort in extreme cases http://www.avma.org/onlnews/javma/apr03/030415c.asp

    But I know you don't care because you are human and apparently that means you can alter animals because you are bigger and stronger.

    Declawing is in the same territory as tail docking and ear docking my friend... but don't take it from me... I wouldn't know.

    It has nothing to do with the cat being "ok". Its ethically wrong. Just because its practiced doesn't make it right. For example here we doc tails of lambs and castrate them without pre-anaesthetic only post pain killer and anaesthetic. Just cause they do it doesn't make it ok. And as a vet you don't have to perform it and I bet there are plenty of vets with half a critical mind in the US that don't do it.

    I know Im not going to change your mind... Im not asking you to.. Im asking you to consider whether or not in future you own pets because you don't seem to consider them to be important.

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  35. #25
    Featured Member Laurisa's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hating on my SO's un-housetrained dog

    You are really missing the point.

    It doesn't matter.

    The cat shit all over my floor today so I took it to the humane society. Between you guys bitching at me on SW and the cat destroying my house by shitting everywhere and destroying my carpeting and furniture I just took him in.

    I don't care anymore, it's over with. Unfortunately the no kill shelter was closed so I had to take him to a shelter that euthanizes if the cat doesn't past a temperament and medical check. So if the cat is euthanized because he can't go in the litterbox properly then at least we all know he doesn't have to go through a horrible declaw procedure. I donated money to help offset the cost of his intake.

    Happy?
    If you are willing to do for one year what other's won't, you can spend a lifetime doing what other's cant.


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