I just needed to vent to someone since my friends seem to have disappeared. I just feel bad about myself lately like I cant seem to get anything done. I still live with my parents, I dropped out of school, dont have a job. (I danced for a few months but quit after my parents started to suspect).This is also depressing me because i miss dancing alot. I have a hard time getting motivated to work a regular job. I can go back to school in January but i dont know what to do for the next few months.
A part of me wants to say to hell with it and dance anyway, but I dont want to risk losing my family either. But aside from that, i realized Im still afraid of my father. He used to have a bad temper and used to be abusive. Now hes changed, a born again christian. But i still fear him the way I did when I was a little girl. I guess Im not totally convinced thats hes changed...he seems to have mood swings, he is very judgemental (i mean he complains about women today and gays 24/7). I also have completley different views as him (im agnostic, very liberal too). Sometimes I want to pack my bags and disappear. I just feel stuck and no idea what I want to do with my life. Thanks for whoever takes the time to read this. I just feel alone and needed to reach out.



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At least...it did for me.
Wether it's go back to school, get a normal job, save for a deposit on a house, whatever. You are so young at 22, I really would not worry for a second that it's "too late", you have years ahead of you to accomplish things. Right now focus on making some cash and getting a place of your own. Once you are out of your parents house and standing on your own two feet, you will start to see that your parents opinion of you isn't everything, and that generally, they come good in the end anyway



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