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Thread: Traveling - what do you tell family?

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    Moderator Aurora_Sunset's Avatar
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    Default Traveling - what do you tell family?

    There are a lot of girls who travel dance on this board, and while I know some girls aren't close with their family, some girls are, and I wonder what you tell them when you travel for an extended period of time. I don't mean like a 1-2 week trip to a city a couple states over. I mean like, if you were to take a roadtrip for a month or more. Or for the girls who go to Guam for 3 months.

    I'm not super close with my family - I text them a couple days a week and talk on the phone maybe once every 2-3 weeks. I have no big plans to take a long trip any time soon but it's something in the back of my mind. I know, of course, that I could always lie and pretend like I hadn't gone anywhere, but wouldn't it kinda suck that you would never be able to talk about going anywhere new because you couldn't give yourself away? Or is that just how it has to be? If you do tell them you went such-and-such place, how do you tell them you funded it or got that amount of time off work (assuming you make up a "legit" job)?

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    Veteran Member Seatortuga's Avatar
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    Default Re: Traveling - what do you tell family?

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    Last edited by Seatortuga; 07-25-2019 at 11:32 AM.

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    Default Re: Traveling - what do you tell family?

    I told them I was traveling to promote a product (I used a guy who was starting up a company and actually had a few of his things to give to some family).

    You could do something like that-a traveling promoter for something. There r jobs like that where you travel around a be like a hostess fir conventions or companies. Like a an alcohol promoter-u know travel and push a new brand of vodka or something.
    "You can close your eyes to reality but not to memories -Stainslaw J. Lec

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    Veteran Member azaleanola's Avatar
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    Default Re: Traveling - what do you tell family?

    If you're that close to your family, why don't they know what you do for a living?

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    God/dess 4everresolutions's Avatar
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    Default Re: Traveling - what do you tell family?

    It's fairly common for young people to want to get out and travel and see the world. I'd imagine if I would every go somewhere outside of Canada/USA it would be under the pretense of a back-packing trip through whatever area I was planning on dancing in. I'd still want to share SOME details of my travels with my brother or father, especially if I went somewhere cool like Japan or Iceland or Australia. Just say you're trekking around the country, working little side jobs at small cafe's and living cheaply at a youth hostel. It's not that uncommon (or maybe I just have very nomadic friends...?).



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    Default Re: Traveling - what do you tell family?

    Quote Originally Posted by azaleanola View Post
    If you're that close to your family, why don't they know what you do for a living?
    Maybe she doesn't want to lose her relationship with them over it. My family would never understand. If that's how she wants to live her life who are we to judge? To the op: could u just say your going on vacation with some friends? Especially if it's only for couple weeks or month.

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    God/dess carmen_b's Avatar
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    Default Re: Traveling - what do you tell family?

    ^+1. Not everyone tells family ( or some friends ) . We have our reasons.

    I wouldn't stress on this travel thing. Just do it! You can say " Wow, this is crazy, I got a bartending job where I am and I'm staying ! " or whatever . People move around and get different jobs in different places. I traveled for my day job already so I just pretended it started requiring even more travel and I'd just go dance instead ( many times I'd lump day gig trip and dancing in one trip ).

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    Default Re: Traveling - what do you tell family?

    I usually say I have some friends who say I can stay with themand they will hook me up with work in a bar or hotel.
    I didn't tell them the first time I went to Norway. But now I tell them I'm living with some Swedish friends and working as a flier girl.

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    Default Re: Traveling - what do you tell family?

    Quote Originally Posted by azaleanola View Post
    If you're that close to your family, why don't they know what you do for a living?
    Quote Originally Posted by Aurora_Sunset View Post

    I'm not super close with my family - I text them a couple days a week and talk on the phone maybe once every 2-3 weeks.
    My point was that I'm not close enough to tell them I strip, but I'm close enough that I can't just drop off the face of the earth. And I want to be able to tell them about certain aspects of my life (like taking an extended trip somewhere), but also know they're the kind of people who press for details about the how's and why's. I'm pretty sure there are plenty of dancers who are somewhere in between being close enough to tell their parents they strip and not close enough to even keep in touch or talk about anything that's going on their lives.

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    Veteran Member azaleanola's Avatar
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    Default Re: Traveling - what do you tell family?

    I wasn't trying to judge anyone for wanting to keep some secrets from some people. Lord knows I do. I meant that maintaining a series of lies with people you care about and communicate with frequently is an easy way to make your life unnecessarily complicated. It sounded to me like you were stressed about what lie to tell your mom or sister or whoever. I wanted to point out that telling the truth (or a sanitized version of the truth) to your loved ones will often make your life less stressful in the long run.

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    Default Re: Traveling - what do you tell family?

    I disagree. I've been lying for years and it's MUCH easier this way. My family would never "get over'me dancing, y'know? I don't speak/see them often, so lying is easy; saves them worry and upset and saves me from their fretting.



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    Default Re: Traveling - what do you tell family?

    I get what you're saying azalea, but I really have to agree with this:

    Quote Originally Posted by 4everresolutions View Post
    I disagree. I've been lying for years and it's MUCH easier this way. My family would never "get over'me dancing, y'know? I don't speak/see them often, so lying is easy; saves them worry and upset and saves me from their fretting.
    It may be a hassle to lie - I hate to lie, it just makes things too complicated. But telling my family I danced would make things much more stressful and complicated. They're far enough away that I can lie easily, but I still talk to them and want to tell them about my life, right? There are parents that would "get over it" or "tolerate it and still love you" and then there are parents that would throw a hissy fit and never ever ever get over it. My parents fall in the second category. I love them -they're my parents and I get along with them sans telling them I dance. I wouldn't want to ruin that for the sake of not having to tell a little white lie.

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    Default Re: Traveling - what do you tell family?

    It's getting into a "is is better to lie of not " debate instead of her traveling needs and I do have to admit that I wonder sometimes if I made the wrong choice by not being open. Of course ..... I think hiding it actually allowed me 2 solid years of making decent stripper money. I think that the stress of having people know what I was up to and quiz me would have cut into my productivity.

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    Default Re: Traveling - what do you tell family?

    AT any rate ... just GO . The flexilbity is one of the best things about stripping! It would be a shame to not take advantage. Use stripping to pay for trips to places you want to see OR just travel to where you think the cash is better. Just use it.

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    Default Re: Traveling - what do you tell family?

    "Mom, I'm in Pennsylvania, stripping"
    "Well avoid processed foods and secondhand smoke"
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    Default Re: Traveling - what do you tell family?

    Half my family/friend know that I Domme, the other half doesn't because they're either not mature enough to grasp it (younger siblings), couldn't deal with it, or I'm not close enough with them for it to really be any of their business.

    As I'm planning on touring the US in 2012 (and Europe/Asia in either late 2012/early 2013), I've had to think about this myself. However, I've been freelancing for years doing mainstream acting, modeling, costuming, and writing.

    So what have I told people when it's come up that I might be skipping town for upwards of 6 months?

    "Oh, I'm going on the road to work with various productions (Vegas), do some extra's work to vary my resume (L.A. & NYC), visit friends (Orlando/SoCal), and sightsee now that I'm not in college."

    ^^^This = Roadtrip. And will probably be the same excuse I give everyone else when I go to Europe/Asia with a large emphasis on "sightseeing" that time around.

    You don't have to make up some outlandish lie to explain what you're doing. I naturally have wanderlust which makes my family and friends question less of what I do because I'm ALWAYS doing something or going somewhere. (I was actually in SoCal for 6 months last year doing an internship and had decided about doing it 4 months before that, that I was going, but didn't know where until maybe 2 months before it.)

    Now, if you don't do a lot of stuff, or make last minute crazy decisions, then you'll have more work cut out for you.

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    Default Re: Traveling - what do you tell family?

    I didn't tell anyone when I was traveling. I just went and made up excuses.
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    Default Re: Traveling - what do you tell family?

    Well if your not going to tell your family, tell some friends that you can trust and check in with. Especially if your going out of the country! Not to scare you but shit happens, even little stuff, and you want some people to know exactly where to look for you.
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    You can only make so much selling dances, but when you really get into a guys head and heart, you get into his wallet.

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    Default Re: Traveling - what do you tell family?

    Me and my family are not close...I could never talk to them about my relationships, problems...all they did in the past is pass judgement, gossip, and were too consumed with their own lives to give two shits. However they are "very religious" (cough cough...not in my eyes but I'll let them live in their fantasy world) and would NEVER let me hear the end of it and my family has a history of violence so you know. Anyways, I would just say I'm going on vacation with some friends. If they ask "why?" well your an adult so I don't know why they would really care especially if they aren't financing it.

    Just go and get your money...only God can judge you. You generally make more than people working a minimum wage job. I respect it.

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    Default Re: Traveling - what do you tell family?

    You can tell them you're staying in hostels and cleaning for free accommodation. I used to do that in Edinburgh when I was particularly broke or they were short on cleaners. I was stripping as well but there were plenty of people who just did loads of cleaning to rack up weeks worth of free room then sell it to other people staying there and lived off it.

    You can also say you have friends in the area who are putting you up and/or getting you a few nights/weeks/whatever work in the same bar/office/whatever as them.

    I'm lucky my parents know what I do now and are totally fine with it (my mum is strangely proud of me which is great and a little weird at the same time, lol) but I know a lot of girls who for various reasons can't or don't want to tell their family.

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    Veteran Member KushKandi's Avatar
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    Default Re: Traveling - what do you tell family?

    I knew this girl who was a traveling dancer and escort. She had a husband and a couple teen children who did not know what she did for work. I kinda feel bad for her husband. =( But she did have a good lie she came up with. She couldnt tell her family she modeled or got the part in an indie movie because of course eventually, your family is gonna wanna see your accomplishments.

    Instead, she created fake business cards and told everyone she was some sort of travel agent. So for instance, if someone traveled to nyc on business and don't have the time to handle travel arrangements, she would be the person sent to that city (the city she dances/escorts in) and arranges travel, hotel, find good restaurants, night life and activities in that city. Of course that wasn't her real job but its a good cover.

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    Default Re: Traveling - what do you tell family?

    Quote Originally Posted by KushKandi View Post
    I knew this girl who was a traveling dancer and escort. She had a husband and a couple teen children who did not know what she did for work. I kinda feel bad for her husband. =( But she did have a good lie she came up with. She couldnt tell her family she modeled or got the part in an indie movie because of course eventually, your family is gonna wanna see your accomplishments.

    Instead, she created fake business cards and told everyone she was some sort of travel agent. So for instance, if someone traveled to nyc on business and don't have the time to handle travel arrangements, she would be the person sent to that city (the city she dances/escorts in) and arranges travel, hotel, find good restaurants, night life and activities in that city. Of course that wasn't her real job but its a good cover.
    How elaborate!!!Lmfao!

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