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Thread: Why ask patron if he's married + does answer make a difference

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    Default Why ask patron if he's married + does answer make a difference

    I hadn't been to a club in about four years and now this year I've gone five times. I'm obviously a little older now than I was then...

    Each time I have gone this year, I've been asked, "Are you married?"

    It got me wondering why a dancer asks that. If a patron is happily married, could reminding them of their wife make them feel guilty and cause them to spend less?

    OTOH, I can see that asking that question also helps the hustle by insinuating that the dancer is interested in your status and therefore a possible relationship.

    Finally, does it make a single difference what the guy answers?

    Just curious. BTW, you guys are amazing! All of your responses to my questions are awesome!

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    God/dess JayATee's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why ask patron if he's married + does answer make a difference

    I've never asked because I don't care. I assume everyone has a someone and knowing that simply translates into my not wearing excessive body spray or glitter etc. out of respect for the fact that the guy has to go home. Telling me you're married wouldn't effect my thinking either, again, I don't care. Maybe she's just trying to make conversation though. It's not a line I'd use in any case. If you're here talking to me, obviously you're not there for whatever reason and asking you questions about it probably isn't going to make you spend.
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    Default Re: Why ask patron if he's married + does answer make a difference

    small talk.

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    Default Re: Why ask patron if he's married + does answer make a difference

    From a customer pov, asking the girlfriend or wife question could make him feel like a douche bag. If have a gr, I am usually only in the sc for a bachelor party, in which I don't mind offering up the info. I know strippers could give a damn and god knows there is no judgement in a sc by any party, but it is always better to lead into what the customer is doing there before asking about SO head on.. Just my 2 cents

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    Default Re: Why ask patron if he's married + does answer make a difference

    I wouldn't ask either.. who cares. I donno stupid rookie?

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    Default Re: Why ask patron if he's married + does answer make a difference

    I mean, isn't it possible this is part of the hustle?

    A couple of months back I was at one of the clubs in my area and one of the girls asked me to come sit with her. She said she had been there for two years and was a longtime dancer. She asked me all kinds of questions about my personal life, such as whether I was married, whether I had kids, what year I was born, etc. I assumed this was part of the hustle. I.e., I was supposed to think that she "liked me" and wanted to know if I was available, so that I would start to believe that she was interested in me, thus resulting in me spending money on her. It could be just small talk of course.

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    Default Re: Why ask patron if he's married + does answer make a difference

    Asking outright can ruin the fun for an unseasoned customer, and make him feel like a douchebag. I have been eased into offering the fact that I have a GF, being at the sc for a bachelor party, and it was no problem at all to disclose it since it was understood that I was there for the bachelor. One time a stripper said "ooh, you naughty boy. I'm going to make you forget you have a gr for the next hour"- that was a nice way to start off the cr (No I didn't have a gf at the time)

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    Default Re: Why ask patron if he's married + does answer make a difference

    The only time I think I've asked s if the guy was a real douchebag and asking me to meet for sex. Even then not usually. Otherwise I don't care.

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    Default Re: Why ask patron if he's married + does answer make a difference

    Didn't ask. It would come out in conversation but I'd never initiate probing a cust about spouse and kids.

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    Default Re: Why ask patron if he's married + does answer make a difference

    It's not a question I ask but sometimes it does come up in general conversation. Doesn't mean I'm interested in a relationship with the customer though.
    Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.

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    Default Re: Why ask patron if he's married + does answer make a difference

    Quote Originally Posted by KeithDoxen View Post
    I mean, isn't it possible this is part of the hustle?

    A couple of months back I was at one of the clubs in my area and one of the girls asked me to come sit with her. She said she had been there for two years and was a longtime dancer. She asked me all kinds of questions about my personal life, such as whether I was married, whether I had kids, what year I was born, etc. I assumed this was part of the hustle. I.e., I was supposed to think that she "liked me" and wanted to know if I was available, so that I would start to believe that she was interested in me, thus resulting in me spending money on her. It could be just small talk of course.
    I'd really doubt it. I don't see any benefit to my bringing up the guys personal life. If you bring it up that's different but I'm not initiating that convo. Again, you're here ITC with me, not at home with them. Why remind you of that? That doesn't help the fantasy.
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    Default Re: Why ask patron if he's married + does answer make a difference

    Quote Originally Posted by JayATee View Post
    I'd really doubt it. I don't see any benefit to my bringing up the guys personal life. If you bring it up that's different but I'm not initiating that convo. Again, you're here ITC with me, not at home with them. Why remind you of that? That doesn't help the fantasy.
    Yeah, I agree with JayATee. I've never asked a customer this. If they bring it up, that's fine, and we can talk about it. But I'm not going to go fishing for this information because I honestly couldn't give a flying fuck about it.

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    Default Re: Why ask patron if he's married + does answer make a difference

    I never ask - no reason to. Boring *yawn*. I personally hate it when custies want to know every aspect of my personal life - it's none of your fucking business. I'm not telling you the truth anyhow, so why bother asking? Find something else to talk about in the SC. People have no imagination. There's nothing that kills the mood quicker than talking about wives, husbands and gf's/bf's.

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    Default Re: Why ask patron if he's married + does answer make a difference

    Frankly I do understand where the OP is coming from. While most of the girls who weighed in here stated that they never ask, IME easily half or more of the dancers that I have spent time with over the years DID ask, either in the get-to-know-you chatter or in other conversation.

    Now the question really doesn't bother me all that much and I am always upfront about it, but I suppose I could see why some guys might care.

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    Default Re: Why ask patron if he's married + does answer make a difference

    Quote Originally Posted by rickdugan View Post
    Frankly I do understand where the OP is coming from. While most of the girls who weighed in here stated that they never ask, IME easily half or more of the dancers that I have spent time with over the years DID ask, either in the get-to-know-you chatter or in other conversation.
    Yup. A good 50 percent ask me if I'm married, if I have a girlfriend, if I have kids, live alone, etc. All of these questions have the potential to bring to mind my potential wife, kids, and cat waiting for me at home, meaning that I theoretically could start feeling guilty and stop spending money. (If I had wives, kids, and cats, that is, which I don't.)

    I think that what we guys have to realize is that the girls who ask these kinds of questions are also the kinds who would never even conceive of becoming a member of a site like SW in order to improve their game. The girls who do visit a site like this tend to be genuinely interested in being the best dancer they can be, and so most aren't likely to make the rookie mistakes that we men complain about. That's why whenever one of the men here asks why a stripper left her stash of hundred dollar bills on the table next to him while she went to the restroom, most of the strippers here are just as surprised by it as he is.

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    Default Re: Why ask patron if he's married + does answer make a difference

    I do not ask nor I don't care; some customers are silly enough to leave their wedding bands on. I only ask if I'm asked the same question before and the customer is not wearing a band.

    I also had guys that seem to be part of a party rejecting me and other dancers for dances because they were/are married.





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    Default Re: Why ask patron if he's married + does answer make a difference

    Quote Originally Posted by Jay12 View Post
    I do not ask nor I don't care; some customers are silly enough to leave their wedding bands on.
    I never take my wedding ring off when I go to a SC. I'm there to watch dancers, not to try to become a bigamist. If I did take it off, you could see on my finger where the ring has left a depression, and you would decide that I was a phony. Of course, I could put a different ring on over that, but then why not put on some latex skin and hair pieces, perhaps a fake tattoo?

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    Default Re: Why ask patron if he's married + does answer make a difference

    Quote Originally Posted by Jay12 View Post
    I do not ask nor I don't care; some customers are silly enough to leave their wedding bands on. I only ask if I'm asked the same question before and the customer is not wearing a band.

    I also had guys that seem to be part of a party rejecting me and other dancers for dances because they were/are married.
    Silly enough? Why is it silly to leave their wedding band on? Especially if you don't care?
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    Default Re: Why ask patron if he's married + does answer make a difference

    Wow dancers actually ask? That's a total fail. I think it sets a dancer up for the " do you have bf, gf,wife, husband questioning line".

    The only time I've heard of someone bringing it up or throwing it in a customer's face is when he was asking for extras from a non extras girl or asking to meet, date, f*** OTC. Or maybe perhaps when a man has been too handsy during an LD.

    Maybe it's an attempted guilt trip like hmm does your wife know what you're doing. I could probably see this as an attempt to make a man behave if he was getting out of line.

    Seems like a bad business move. Best to allow the fantasy to be just that. Bringing up a significant other could totally ruin the mood and a dancer's $$$ potential.

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    Default Re: Why ask patron if he's married + does answer make a difference

    I've never been asked. I saw one guy there with his wife though.
    Quote Originally Posted by Athenathefabulous View Post
    we are all perverts in the SC in my opinion. Hes a pervert, you're a pervert, I'm a pervert.

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    Default Re: Why ask patron if he's married + does answer make a difference

    I've been asked this many times too and I don't like it. I feel like I'm going to be judged based on my answer, like I'm a cheating loser or more of a perv if I'm in a relationship and at a strip club. Then, the conversation or LD will be more uncomfortable or the dancer won't be as flirty or sexy because now I'm one of those "disgusting cheaters" out spending money on naked women.

    The same goes in return. Nothing kills the mood for me like a dancer mentioning a bf or a hubby. No...it's not because I think dancers are going to fall in love with me or go home with me but part of the fantasy in a sc is the "chemistry" between dancer and customer, as they talk, flirt and the dancer makes the customer feel "special." There really shouldn't be any talk about wives, husbands, kids or any other fantasy killing crap. If customers wanted reality, they'd just go home or go back to work. I also don't like knowing a dancer is in a relationship because then I feel like I'm getting the watered down "trying to be faithful" dancer - cold, dry, unaffectionate, zero flirting and the most G rated LDs known to man. I don't want extras but damn, I don't want to deal with some dead-behind-the-eyes dancer who stays 5 feet away at all times because she doesn't want to betray her SO. I feel like a single dancer will be more willing to "let go" and just have fun.

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    Default Re: Why ask patron if he's married + does answer make a difference

    ^ That's the most amazing avi I've ever seen in my life.

    Well said. I had a dancer tell me she had a girlfriend LOL. Way to seduce me!
    Quote Originally Posted by Athenathefabulous View Post
    we are all perverts in the SC in my opinion. Hes a pervert, you're a pervert, I'm a pervert.

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    Default Re: Why ask patron if he's married + does answer make a difference

    Quote Originally Posted by Hopper View Post
    ^ That's the most amazing avi I've ever seen in my life!
    Yeah my wife was tanning that day and I asked her if she wouldn't mind a quick pic bent over my car.


    Don't I wish!!

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    Default Re: Why ask patron if he's married + does answer make a difference

    ^ If you tell me where you got it I may change my previously hard line stance against putting girly pictures on my wall.

    If I had a wife like that, I would show strippers pictures of her if they asked me if I'm married.
    Last edited by Hopper; 10-03-2011 at 06:05 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by Athenathefabulous View Post
    we are all perverts in the SC in my opinion. Hes a pervert, you're a pervert, I'm a pervert.

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    Default Re: Why ask patron if he's married + does answer make a difference

    Quote Originally Posted by Hopper View Post
    ^ If you tell me where you got it I may change my previously hard line stance against putting girly pictures on my wall.
    I tried to PM this to you but got an error saying your inbox is full.

    I looked around but can't remember where I got the original. I've had it a few years. I know, I drool a little every time I see it!

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