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Thread: Loudmouth Friend About Stripping

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    Moderator Aurora_Sunset's Avatar
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    Default Loudmouth Friend About Stripping

    I only have one really good girlfriend that I hang out with often and who will talk about my stripping without awkwardness. While I appreciate how open she allows me to be, I’m really put off by how much she brings up my job to strangers. I’m in no way secretive about stripping (except when it comes to my family) - almost anyone who asks will get an honest answer. But it’s just uncomfortable when she brings it up in conversations where it doesn’t need to be announced, and keeps the subject going when I’m ready to be done with it. It doesn’t seem to matter where we are, who we’re talking to, or what we’re talking about - she always seems to find a way to start talking about me stripping. She also likes to bring up the fact, “where do you think she met her boyfriend?”

    I’d feel odd telling her to keep it on the DL since I’m usually so open about it. But this goes beyond being open and crosses the line into obnoxiously announcing it wherever we go. I don’t care if people know I’m a stripper, or if we make joking references to it in the course of conversation in front of others and let them make their own conclusions, but I don’t need to get into a conversation about it everywhere I go, on my first meeting with some new bartender or bar-buddy. It tends to ruin the rest of my night because the second people know I'm a dancer, they have endless questions about it and get all fascinated and want to keep talking talking talking about it... when I just want to finish my fucking beer and not be bothered... I honestly don’t know what she gets out of always making this a big deal, but it makes me uncomfortable when she’s the one bringing it up - and always bringing it up...

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    Default Re: Loudmouth Friend About Stripping

    Personally I'd say there's a bit of both admiration and jealousy mixed up in here. It's almost like she's living part of the experience THROUGH you! A good friend should know when to draw the line. It's not her job to talk about it's yours, and she needs to respect that. If you don't mention anything though, she may very wel feel that everything is hunky dory and carry on her merry way until one day you explode and she all of a sudden thinks you're a bitch. Better to nip it in the bud now and say "hun, i appreciate how good you are with me about my job, but i'd rather not talk about it with strangers, so if you don't mind just keeping quiet about it, i'd really appreciate it, thanks". See if she gets the picture then xx

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    Default Re: Loudmouth Friend About Stripping

    Seems like really passive-aggressive behavior. Common sense says that you know when and where to bring up certain topics. You don't just start talking about sexual topics with strangers, right?? I would tell her that you're not comfortable with her bringing up your job. While you appreciate how supportive she is of you, you don't like to be open with strangers about what you do for a living. Me personally, I'm very open about what I do. My family knows, everyone I'm friends with knows. However, they all know not to talk about it in front of people I don't know. I've had too many assholes treat me either unfriendly after they find out or wayyyy too friendly and crossing boundaries after they found out. No bueno.

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    Default Re: Loudmouth Friend About Stripping

    I totally agree with the passive-aggressive, and some jealousy/admiration comments.

    If you guys are real good friends then I think you should talk to her about it and let her know you are a normal person and like everyone else you like to leave work at work. If you're not great friends or whatev just drop her.

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    Default Re: Loudmouth Friend About Stripping

    I also agree that it's a mix of passive-aggressive behavior, envy, and admiration. You should definitely sit her down and explain that it makes you uncomfortable that she brings up your work all the time, to everyone. There's probably something she hasn't told you about how she feels about you being a stripper, so maybe she would use this opportunity to be honest.

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    Default Re: Loudmouth Friend About Stripping

    I'm a computer programmer... I can't remember any of my friends ever bringing it up in casual conversations with strangers..... why should it be any different for you?

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    Default Re: Loudmouth Friend About Stripping

    Quote Originally Posted by kaiarose View Post
    Seems like really passive-aggressive behavior. Common sense says that you know when and where to bring up certain topics. You don't just start talking about sexual topics with strangers, right?? I would tell her that you're not comfortable with her bringing up your job. While you appreciate how supportive she is of you, you don't like to be open with strangers about what you do for a living. Me personally, I'm very open about what I do. My family knows, everyone I'm friends with knows. However, they all know not to talk about it in front of people I don't know. I've had too many assholes treat me either unfriendly after they find out or wayyyy too friendly and crossing boundaries after they found out. No bueno.
    I agree 100%!!! Maybe you should encourage her to talk about the racy things she has going on instead. That's her right. Your life is not her right to discuss.
    “What a caterpillar calls the end of the world we call a butterfly.” - ECKHART TOLLE

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    Default Re: Loudmouth Friend About Stripping

    I really like Miss Katie's advice above, and that's exactly what I would do. Talk to her about it now, otherwise she is never going to shut up about it.............just be honest.




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    Default Re: Loudmouth Friend About Stripping

    Personally, I think it's effing rude! I have one close friend also, & she knows what I do, she would never discuss that, in front of ppl we don't know or anybody really! I mean, what if you got in serious trouble b/c of it? Sorry, doesn't sound like a friend to me. wtf


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