Results 1 to 20 of 20

Thread: Trapped in the Industry

  1. #1
    Senior Member Rileygrl06's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2011
    Location
    California
    Posts
    93
    Thanks
    14
    Thanked 51 Times in 29 Posts
    My Mood
    Happy

    Default Trapped in the Industry

    I've been dancing for five years and I've been in college for three. I love being in school and studying. That's the world I belong to, not this one. I'm so tired of being a "stripper". I can't seem to forgive myself for it. I know there's nothing wrong with the job. I'm not doing anything illegal by dancing, but the stigma is still there. I'm ashamed that I have to always lie about where I work to people. I haven't been on a date in at least three years and I can't even make friends at school because in the back of my mind I'm thinking, "What if they found out what I do for a living?" I don't regret becoming a dancer because its the only way I can afford school and still have time to study, but I'm so ready to be rid of it and get a job I can be proud of.

    Thing is... when I graduate in two years it won't end there. I'm going to need even more money and more time to study for grad school which is another four years. Add that time on and I'm looking at at least six more years of stripping! I try and just go one day at a time, but thinking that I have to deal with these creeps for that much longer is enough to make me utterly depressed.

    Are there any other girls out there who feel trapped like I do?

  2. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Rileygrl06 For This Useful Post:


  3. #2
    Banned Melonie's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2002
    Location
    way south of the border
    Posts
    25,932
    Thanks
    612
    Thanked 10,563 Times in 4,646 Posts
    Blog Entries
    3
    My Mood
    Cynical

    Default Re: Trapped in the Industry

    I would argue that the major reason you feel 'trapped' is that you're trying to completely mix college and dancing. Have you ever considered simply concentrating on being a 'serious full time dancer' for the next 5 years, banking as much of your dancing earnings as possible, and THEN quitting dancing and switching to full time student status ?

  4. #3
    Moderator Jessie_tinydancer's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2009
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    4,149
    Thanks
    1,307
    Thanked 2,530 Times in 1,295 Posts
    My Mood
    Sick

    Default Re: Trapped in the Industry

    Kinda I've got 3.5 more years before I finish my course which will mean about 7 years dancing. I don't like it but I also don't like busting my ass to make minimum wage. Dancing has it's fucked up moments but at the end of the day it's a lot of money for not much hard work. If u really feel burnt out maybe you could go part time in your course and work a normal job instead. Or what about loans? Your mental health is most important. Anyone else who can help you out?

  5. The Following User Says Thank You to Jessie_tinydancer For This Useful Post:


  6. #4
    Senior Member Rileygrl06's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2011
    Location
    California
    Posts
    93
    Thanks
    14
    Thanked 51 Times in 29 Posts
    My Mood
    Happy

    Default Re: Trapped in the Industry

    I'm on my own financially. However, I am fortunate enough to have a doctor helping me deal with the emotional/ mental stress so I know I'll be alright. I just needed to vent a little. You're right though, Jessie, it is a lot of money for the little amount of work being done. As conflicted as I feel over stripping, I know its nothing compared to the stress of a minimum wage job. I know I couldn't handle it, not with school. I don't want to mess with loans. All it does is put off paying tuition. When I graduate I don't want to have to worry about some massive debt I've accumulated. I want to focus on getting into a good grad school.

    Melonie, I could never give up school. Right now school is the only thing that gives my life purpose. I've wanted this degree for so long and I'm so close now I can't go back. Besides, I'm a terrible stripper. I just suck at it. I have to work day shift because the crowds at night overwhelm me. I couldn't bank if my life depended on it. lol

    Thanks for your responses, girls

  7. The Following User Says Thank You to Rileygrl06 For This Useful Post:


  8. #5
    Senior Member
    Joined
    Sep 2011
    Posts
    129
    Thanks
    74
    Thanked 256 Times in 79 Posts

    Default Re: Trapped in the Industry

    Maybe you could try to figure out why you feel that way about your job, and learn to appreciate all the advantages it gives you, instead. You have the power to change how you feel about this.
    Left the biz after more than 15 years; still miss it today. Deeply passionate about the rights of the women in it and the way it acts as a barometer of sexual health and gender-relations in our society. Committed to helping women in the industry find a sense of cultural context and feminist relevance; your health and happiness help the business - and the culture around it - evolve.


    Facebook:
    Twitter:

  9. The Following User Says Thank You to FeministStripper For This Useful Post:


  10. #6
    Moderator Jessie_tinydancer's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2009
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    4,149
    Thanks
    1,307
    Thanked 2,530 Times in 1,295 Posts
    My Mood
    Sick

    Default Re: Trapped in the Industry

    Riley I totally get it. Sometimes when I'm so over it I just take that step back and ask myself to imagine this same life but waiting tables or flipping hamburgers like my classmates and I just think "hell no! Maybe stripping isn't so bad!" lol

  11. The Following User Says Thank You to Jessie_tinydancer For This Useful Post:


  12. #7
    Veteran Member
    Joined
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    375
    Thanks
    233
    Thanked 252 Times in 104 Posts
    My Mood
    Busy

    Default Re: Trapped in the Industry

    I've tried to just do school or just dance and neither works for me. If I just dance, I feel like I have no purpose- as if it doesn't give me enough fulfillment or something and then that depresses me. If I just go to school, I feel worthless because I'm not making money. Same goes for if I have a low paying normal job.

    I'm burnt out on dancing and have had the last two months off. I like the industry but the club I was at just wasn't working for me. Too much crap for too little money. I feel somewhat trapped because I feel like I don't have enough skills/experience to have a straight job but then when I get one I don't want it anyway because the pay sucks. Hoping to start working again this week, so hopefully I find a club that's a better fit for me that doesn't make me feel so... stuck.

    15% Off Website Orders w/ code 'STRIPPERWEB'

  13. #8
    Moderator Aurora_Sunset's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2011
    Posts
    6,430
    Thanks
    19,846
    Thanked 18,507 Times in 4,919 Posts
    My Mood
    Breezy

    Default Re: Trapped in the Industry

    If your club allows it, maybe you can work really hard for a short period of time so you can take another period of time off to recharge. I quit dancing with about $4000 in the bank and was able to live off of that frugally for about 3 months before I started feeling pressure to earn income again. Depending on what your living expenses are and how much you make weekly at the club - you could probably work in 2-3 months on/1-2 months off "shifts." Some people get used to/forget just how much freaking money we can make, and how you can totally live off a small percentage of stripper income if you're willing to live like fellow 20-somethings and eat ramen and only go out on drink special nights. I know it doesn't really solve the problem that you don't like stripping to begin with, but at least you'll get a break instead of being constantly burnt out because you're always there. And it's not like you'll just let yourself go broke instead of returning once the money dwindles down.

    Or you could focus on working hard and saving every penny possible now so that when you get to grad school in 2 years, you have enough saved up that you can pay for grad school with your stripping money and live frugally off a "regular" income while in grad school.

    I would always encourage anyone who legitimately hates stripping and feels degraded by it to no do it, but I understand how expensive education is and the feeling of not wanting to be consumed by debt. If you want to keep stripping through school so you can pay for it, I would try to work in chunks, or work really hard now so you can quit sooner. Good luck!

  14. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Aurora_Sunset For This Useful Post:


  15. #9
    Veteran Member
    Joined
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    375
    Thanks
    233
    Thanked 252 Times in 104 Posts
    My Mood
    Busy

    Default Re: Trapped in the Industry

    ^Yes! I did the same thing. Been living off about 3k for the last three months, but it's definitely time to go back and start making money again. Time to pay off the school loans...ugh... I definitely think the time off was much needed, though and really did good things for me.

    15% Off Website Orders w/ code 'STRIPPERWEB'

  16. #10
    Senior Member
    Joined
    Sep 2011
    Posts
    129
    Thanks
    74
    Thanked 256 Times in 79 Posts

    Default Re: Trapped in the Industry

    How trapped do you think you'd feel if you'd been working fast food or for a cleaning service all this time?
    Left the biz after more than 15 years; still miss it today. Deeply passionate about the rights of the women in it and the way it acts as a barometer of sexual health and gender-relations in our society. Committed to helping women in the industry find a sense of cultural context and feminist relevance; your health and happiness help the business - and the culture around it - evolve.


    Facebook:
    Twitter:

  17. The Following User Says Thank You to FeministStripper For This Useful Post:


  18. #11
    Senior Member
    Joined
    Sep 2011
    Posts
    129
    Thanks
    74
    Thanked 256 Times in 79 Posts

    Default Re: Trapped in the Industry

    Quote Originally Posted by BringOnTheMen View Post
    This means no women's studies or ceramics majors.
    Oh, no! There goes my whole Giant-Clay-Willendorf-Venus project!
    Left the biz after more than 15 years; still miss it today. Deeply passionate about the rights of the women in it and the way it acts as a barometer of sexual health and gender-relations in our society. Committed to helping women in the industry find a sense of cultural context and feminist relevance; your health and happiness help the business - and the culture around it - evolve.


    Facebook:
    Twitter:

  19. The Following User Says Thank You to FeministStripper For This Useful Post:


  20. #12
    Senior Member Rileygrl06's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2011
    Location
    California
    Posts
    93
    Thanks
    14
    Thanked 51 Times in 29 Posts
    My Mood
    Happy

    Default Re: Trapped in the Industry

    I'm a Biology major. I haven't decided what specific area I want to get into yet. It really depends on my GPA...and any entrance exam scores. I love the medical field and there are a lot of different jobs in high demand so that's the direction I'm taking. Plan B would be research - not a lot of money, but at least I'd still be doing something I enjoy.

    Thanks for all the responses! I guess I don't HAVE to go directly to grad school from college. I'd just prefer it that way. With my plans how they are now, I'll stop at 29. I really, really want to be finished and back to a normal life by 30. But of course, when do things ever go exactly according to plan? lol

    Good luck _Elle_ as you go back to work this week!

  21. #13
    God/dess
    Joined
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    2,066
    Thanks
    440
    Thanked 1,844 Times in 779 Posts

    Default Re: Trapped in the Industry

    riley, if school is your priority, that's totally fine. it's really hard to balance college and dancing, especially with all the extracurricular shit you need to do to be an ideal candidate for graduate school. the people i know that went directly from undergrad to grad had A LOT of support, which, if you do not have, might mean time off between degrees.

    the upside of this is that, between degrees, if you decide to keep dancing, the money will be available for you to intern (without a grudge because you'll be able to pay for your life expenses!) or do something that will look really good on your resume that perhaps pays nothing.

    also, you don't have to love dancing. most people do not love their jobs. they do it for the money and they go the fuck home and do what actually pleases them. i always get a bit annoyed when people on this site act like if you do not love every aspect of sex work, you're a self0hating hypocrite. you're not. you're like the majority of the people in the united states whose sole purpose us showing up for work is the money, not the joy, empowerment, appreciation, or any other bullshit.

  22. #14
    Veteran Member lovelydancer's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2011
    Location
    The South
    Posts
    405
    Thanks
    593
    Thanked 546 Times in 209 Posts

    Default Re: Trapped in the Industry

    I dance full-time and go to school full-time for my B.A. degree (I already have an A.A.S. degree in my field), and it is hard. It's very difficult, so I understand how you feel. I have felt trapped sometimes.

    I tried to leave dancing to work a job within my field while going to school. But between;

    1- not being able to make enough money to pay my monthly bills (mind you, this was pay for working 40-50hrs a wk..on top of classes)
    2 - the workload in general being too much
    3 - not having the flexibility to change my class schedule however I please
    4 - or just not having enough time to dedicate to my schoolwork...working a job I'd enjoy while being in school isn't financially, physically or emotionally possible.

    What I try to do (since dancing isn't something I prefer), is look at the positive side of it. It does provide me a flexible schedule to change my classes or dedicate to homework, projects, studying for exams, etc. It does give me an opportunity to make a lot of money, for a much lighter workload than a normal job. Which leaves me a lot less stressed out than I was working a normal job. I also try to remember that once I graduate, dancing will be done. So remembering these things, and recognizing a light at the end of the tunnel...helps me realize that maybe feeling "trapped" in the industry temporarily...will be worth it in the long haul.

    Now, if your are bothered by not being able to share the dancing part of your life with those close to you, try and find dancers in a similar situation (ex; dancing and going to school simultaneously) to confide in about these things. I have found a few in my area in the same boat as me, and it helps knowing I have someone IN THE INDUSTRY I can relate to on that stuff. They also may be able to help you find a way to slowly break the news to other friends or family.

    My last piece of advice; if you don't have to, don't take a break from school. It's so incredibly difficult getting back into "school-mode" when you are older, and it may be something you regret doing later on. I should have gotten my B.A. in early 2007 if I didn't take a break. I have been back in school to finally finish it since early this year..and I still have over a year left. I very much regret not having finished it when I had less bills, responsibilities/obligations. Plus, the longer you put off school, the longer you may be dancing..

    I hope what I wrote helps you out hun. If you wanna chat about it more, feel free to msg me.

  23. The Following User Says Thank You to lovelydancer For This Useful Post:


  24. #15
    God/dess anouk.oui's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    2,961
    Thanks
    3,002
    Thanked 1,485 Times in 738 Posts
    My Mood
    Blah

    Default Re: Trapped in the Industry

    op, im feeling you 100000 %. i did two years dancing so far and have 2 more to go. im depressed, exhausted, on the edge of my patience and i cant bring myself to push money wise coz i just hate being a stripper and im no good at it either.
    im subscribing now, its 3am and im sleepy but i really look forward to rereading all the responses in the morning. i have the same problem, maybe this thread will help both of us.


    but why do you neeeed grad school? is there a shorter alternative?
    FUCK YEAH finally retired after 6 years dancing!!
    NEW to camming
    Use the discount code "DANCER" to get 15% off ALL mermaid bikinis & swimwear at



  25. #16
    God/dess anouk.oui's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    2,961
    Thanks
    3,002
    Thanked 1,485 Times in 738 Posts
    My Mood
    Blah

    Default Re: Trapped in the Industry

    Quote Originally Posted by Rileygrl06 View Post
    I am fortunate enough to have a doctor helping me deal with the emotional/ mental stress so I know I'll be alright.
    im curious, in what ways does a doctor help you? i thought about seeing someone but im afraid theyre just gonna keep telling me to quit dancing or change schools instead of helping me come up with a well rounded strategy to excel at both without going mental
    FUCK YEAH finally retired after 6 years dancing!!
    NEW to camming
    Use the discount code "DANCER" to get 15% off ALL mermaid bikinis & swimwear at



  26. #17
    Featured Member K Sweet's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Washington
    Posts
    859
    Thanks
    892
    Thanked 547 Times in 221 Posts

    Default Re: Trapped in the Industry

    What exactly are you doing in the medical field? Or are you still deciding? I just ask because certain jobs require a certain number of clinical hours. I'm looking into this so I'd be stripping and working, and no school. A biology career is a great idea.

    It sounds like you may have some anxiety issues regarding telling people about your job. I think that's perfectly normal and something a lot of us have to deal with. That's kinda why I personally tend to make friends with punks, goths, other sex workers, and queer folks. I've just noticed they tend to be more open minded, maybe cause many of them have had to keep a certain aspect of their life private from other people as well.
    Goodbye Seattle Lusty Lady, where every Miss is a Hit, and every Hit is Missed. 1985-2010.

  27. #18
    Senior Member Rileygrl06's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2011
    Location
    California
    Posts
    93
    Thanks
    14
    Thanked 51 Times in 29 Posts
    My Mood
    Happy

    Default Re: Trapped in the Industry

    anouk.oui:
    Why do I need grad school? Because a bachelor's degree, especially in biology, just doesn't cut it anymore. More people are getting educated these days and its so competitive out there. Even if I don't go the professional route, doing research requires at least a Master's.

    How does the doctor help me? I've seen a lot of shrinks over the years and it took me a LONG time to find a good one. On top of being extremely smart and putting me on the right medications, he's been a great mentor to me. I don't have a good support system as I live on my own away from family. He really is one of a kind though. He's the only professional that didn't judge me for being a dancer and fully believes its the best way for me to pay for school. If you're wanting to find someone you just have to be patient and find the best person for you. Unfortunately, initial costs are extremely high...and they usually don't take insurance. Its a racket honestly. I just got lucky.

  28. The Following User Says Thank You to Rileygrl06 For This Useful Post:


  29. #19
    Member
    Joined
    Aug 2011
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    36
    Thanks
    23
    Thanked 5 Times in 4 Posts

    Default Re: Trapped in the Industry

    Quote Originally Posted by camille27 View Post

    also, you don't have to love dancing. most people do not love their jobs. they do it for the money and they go the fuck home and do what actually pleases them.
    This!

  30. #20
    Veteran Member loren's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2010
    Posts
    312
    Thanks
    145
    Thanked 154 Times in 59 Posts

    Default Re: Trapped in the Industry

    I was really stressed out for the last few months about telling new people that I know about my job. But I walked through my fear this week and I am really glad. I had a guy physically assualt me this week. It was the end of the night and it hurt when he did it. I pushed him off of me and yelled at him. And then kept dancing because I did not want to lose out on money. I was able to make $50 in 15 minutes because I kept my focus. But I have been severely freaked out since then and I'm bruised from what he did. So I finally talked about it.
    About a year ago when I was in Vegas I had a guy crack my ribs from a "hug". I told almost no one. I just got really drunk and had tons of anger. I'm not doing that anymore. If you are open with people, you will find that most people are nicer than you might think. And because I was open with people it made me think of how I used to always be so open with people about dancing. It made remember that back when I was open with people about dancing, I had people tell me about some great ideas to get a regular job. Because of that I wound up getting some regular jobs. I still had to dance a little to make my car payment, but I had a completely new attitude towards dancing when I went back to it full time and I made some good $.
    Confidence


    Self Esteem


    Arrogance is to deny reality


    Coherency management


    Maslow - Human Needs

Similar Threads

  1. Do You Feel Trapped In the Stripping Industry?
    By MysteriousMisty in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 33
    Last Post: 07-30-2011, 06:57 PM
  2. if you were trapped in a room
    By ~Isabella in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 11-28-2008, 01:06 AM
  3. Trapped in the CLAUSet
    By James Bond in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 12-13-2007, 09:53 PM
  4. Feeling Trapped
    By StrawberrySwitchblade in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 11-24-2007, 02:29 PM
  5. Trapped in words
    By Mary BlueBoot in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 05-14-2006, 04:06 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •